back to article Miley Cyrus cracker: 'I'm too short for the slammer!'

A Tennessee man, found guilty of cracking the Gmail account of Miley Cyrus and posting private photos of her online, has asked the sentencing judge to spare him prison because of his diminutive stature. A teenaged Josh Holly was arrested by federal investigators three years ago after he correctly guessed the security question …

COMMENTS

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  1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

    And what does

    Miley Cyrus get for creating the images of a 15year old child in the first place?

    1. Robert E A Harvey

      The whole Smiley Virus thing is beyond odd. Are you sure she isn't Jeannette Krankey?

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      He wasn't charged with accessing Miley's account, he was charged because they found stolen credit card numbers when investigating the Miley incident. Also, she was covered in all of the pictures, so no issue on her part.

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "Looking to avoid painful stretch inside"

    Wow, it must be Friday.

  3. Solomon Grundy
    Meh

    Great Idea

    I'm 6'5" and 225 pounds - does that mean I might be able to skip out of any future prison sentence beause I'm too large for the big house?

    1. Gordon 10 Silver badge

      Unlucky

      You're only too large for the small house.

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Throw him in the pokey!

    They'll change his name from "Holly" to "Holler".

  5. Rippy

    How short?

    must I be to be ineligible for gaol time?

    Just askin', won't follow the links.

    Solomon Grundy is clearly too thin to do time.

    1. Wize

      They have one of those fareground signs...

      ...saying "You must be this tall to go on this ride"

      1. Crofty616
        Coat

        RE: They have one of those fareground signs

        However, in jail you're the ride :P

  6. Big-nosed Pengie

    I'd have thought that admitting any interest in Miley Cyrus was punishment enough for anybody.

  7. Nights_are_Long

    Looking to avoid painful stretch inside - I am now reminded of the old Scouse saying "She is as lose as a sausage down a alleyway."

    Great subtitle.

  8. JaitcH
    Thumb Up

    He shouldn't be scared, there is a big hairy guy waiting to protect him ...

    from every threat, in return for certain favours. They like youth in the Big House.

  9. Eddy Ito Silver badge

    Options in the joint

    He can sell his mad lite hacking skills to get the dope for his buoys. Perhaps try his hand at bustin' a rock with the play-ahs on the chain gang. There is always offering tax filing services to the guards for a bit extra face time. Let's not forget that he could teach all those other inmates the finer points of online banking using other people's accounts. Or, he could turn the tables and just own being the bitch while breaking out the weights and protein drinks.

  10. JeffyPooh Silver badge
    Facepalm

    "Painful stretch inside"

    You guys _crack_ me up...

  11. skeptical i
    Pint

    Short People got no reason

    "They got grubby little fingers / And dirty little minds / They're gonna get you every time"

    -- http://www.songlyrics.com/randy-newman/short-people-lyrics/

    Then again, IIRC, the Caterpillar told Alice that "Three inches is a very good height indeed", so it's all relative.

    ....^^^.... This would be an amazing amount of beer, then, Mr. Caterpillar sir?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Actually, Randy's song was more about dwarfs aka midgets than about 'under average' people.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Dwarfs != midgets

        Midgets' limbs and heads are proportionately small, whereas dwarfs may have (eg) tiny legs but 'normal' sized heads / hands etc.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Doesn't matter, most people think they're the same anyway.

          I guess you're from slashdot? where they also believe Hacker =! Cracker?

          Some people really like to split hairs on the internet. :P

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Enjoy the slammer hacker

    He who hacks goes to prison.

    1. Annihilator
      FAIL

      Nice try troll

      But I "hack" about with code all the time. Let me know what charges I could be facing.

      1. Eddie Edwards
        Facepalm

        That would only be a troll on Slashdot

        Here, you are allowed to use the word "hack" in the form commonly accepted by 99% of the English-speaking population. Failing that, it is also permissible to accept that words may have multiple meanings. It is also acceptable to determine the implied meaning of the word from the context of the article (this article is not about programming). Anything else is just trolling, man ...

    2. Tom 7 Silver badge

      Hacking aint illegal

      nt

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Your ignorance of the law disturbs me!

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Opportunity always strikes at the right moment.

    in his case , you got a fantastic opportunity to become the world's fastest runner by having a bunch of angry mates running after you .Life's great behind bars if you can recognise and seize the opportunities.Have a nice stay and do enjoy your new friends. See you at the olympics

    Fuzzy

  14. GitMeMyShootinIrons
    Big Brother

    "I’m having these strong urges to start playing around and hacking shit again, there’s so much new stuff on the net. I can’t stop these urges. Am I a bad person?”

    Yes. Bang the little sh*t up.

    1. Steven Roper
      Thumb Up

      Agree with you there mate

      I was actually feeling sorry for the little turd right up until I read that bit about him posting that comment on Facebook - at which point any sympathy I might have felt went straight down the gurgler. He's begging not to go to prison while openly admitting he's planning to offend again? My next thought was chuck the little shit inside and toss the fucking key!

  15. JoeTheAnnoying
    Thumb Up

    I, for one, am hoping that he wins this ruling...

    At 5'6", I plan on going on a short crime spree. I might do a little time, but that's a small price to pay.

  16. Tomn8tr

    "Avoid this"

    Don't ask Bubba why his momma don't write ;-)

  17. Just Thinking

    Not really

    Read the quote starting:

    "The government does not contest the presence of the various factors pointed out by probation..."

    To paraphrase it says yes, he is quite short, no, that isn't of any relevance to the sentence.

    The only thing they are "bizarrely" agreeing is the fact that 5'6 is quite short.

    1. Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge

      In the Netherlands 5'6" is very short

      At a shade under 5'11 (1.80m) I was the third shortest guy in my year

  18. Robert E A Harvey
    Headmaster

    "am I a bad person?"

    Yes.

  19. Andus McCoatover
    Windows

    He's Bubba's li'l puppy now..

    I thought Id heard 'em all. Must be hard to keep a straight face sometimes, if you're a judge...

  20. Gordon 10 Silver badge

    Facebook

    Given that he has already ignored the court order keeping him off the Internet I predict he'll be complaining his cell mate is too long for him within the month.

  21. Gene Cash Silver badge
    Thumb Up

    Important part at the end...

    I was thinking this was a little over the top for guessing a password, but then you mentioned the stolen credit card numbers at the end. Between that and the facebook stupidity of publicly posting that you can't obey the judge, then perhaps he does need a little negative reinforcement time...

    1. Tom 35 Silver badge

      Stolen credit card numbers?

      lock him up for a bit.

      Guessed a password big deal, give him the same that he would if it was Joe Blow's password (nothing). So what if it is some "important" person.

    2. Kwac
      Headmaster

      negative reinforcement?

      Negative reinforcement is not the same as punishment - in fact, it's the opposite of punishment.

      I assume Miley Cyprus is a young woman?

  22. LarsG

    5' 6" IS SMALL?

    Or are American inches smaller than ours?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      @LarsG

      The US disproportionately locks up young black (African American) men. Those with a deal of African heritage tend on average to be taller than the average for those with Caucasian ancestry.

    2. Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge

      In the Netherlands 5'6" is very short

      At 1.80m (just shy of 5'11") I was one of the shortest guys in my year when I left secondary school. In the US I gather my length fairly average. 5" shorter would be quite short then.

    3. Kubla Cant Silver badge

      It's not height that matters...

      it's diameter.

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Bitch for a year

    Being Bubba's bitch-for-a-year might teach this loser a little respect.

  24. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
    Paris Hilton

    Is that Miley Cyrus on the pic? She looks like the *adorable* Sophie Marceau...

  25. Blubster
    Happy

    My cell, my rules

    Heavily Tattooed Thug: "Today we're going to play mummies and daddies, which part do you want to play?"

    Josh Holly: "I'd like to play Daddy please"

    HTT: "Okay - come over here and suck mummy's cock"

  26. Eponymous Cowherd
    Joke

    I expect he's worried about....

    his Achy Breakey Arse.

  27. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I hope he gets... "The Best of Both Worlds" and "the climb" up in the prison social ladder...

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