back to article A rapid first hands-on: Nokia’s Windows phones

You are about to read what may be the shortest “hands-on” review you’ve ever read. But there is something quite surprising, I discovered, not appreciated until you compare both new Nokia models. Why the Clown Colours? After half an hour putting each through its paces, the budget model is the much more impressive offering. The …

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  1. JDX Gold badge

    Wasting your time

    El Reg might as well not bother reviewing Mango or Mango phones. You're just going to get a flood of comments from people who haven't read the article and have never seen the phones, telling us that it's crap.

  2. Ryan 7

    What about the one with the keyboard?

    Hmmm?

  3. Rhodri Marsden

    Bogshed

    I would never had had you down as a Bogshed fan, Andrew. *colossal round of applause*

    Rhodri

  4. dotdavid
    Meh

    Xpress-on

    What really baffles me is why Nokia don't try and resurrect the xpress-on covers they used to have. All da kidz can have their wacky coloured phones then, and the rest of us could have the relatively sober boring colours.

    1. Ilgaz

      it is crap

      Until the market punishes microsoft to transform its sick like culture and nokia gets rid of the manager/suit leeches that put the company to this situation... Nothing good can come from them. In fact even if something comes good, it will spoil in future.

    2. Andrew Orlowski (Written by Reg staff)

      Re: Bogshed

      Fab live.

      Nice to see you here, R.

    3. Andrew Orlowski (Written by Reg staff)

      Re: Wasting your time

      Doesn't that happen for every review? :)

      1. Arctic fox
        IT Angle

        The Curious Case of the SD-Card

        According to Anandtech:

        "Unlike the 800 however the 710 features a microSD card slot that can accommodate up to a 16GB card (24GB total)."

        http://www.anandtech.com/show/5015/nokia-lumia-800-710-windows-phones-announced

        Have you any idea what is going on here Andrew? Why on earth has Nokia not put an SD-slot in the 800 when they have in the (relatively speaking) budget 710?

        The icon? Well although it is IT it definitely deserves a question mark!

      2. Anonymous Coward
        FAIL

        Andrew...the 800 also is available in BLACK!

        The colours are OPTIONAL.

    4. MrT
      Go

      The 710 has them...

      From https://www.nokia.co.uk/gb-en/products/phone/lumia710/specifications/ ...

      "Personalisation - Swappable covers, changeable home screen colours"

      So, better value than the 800, nigh-on the same spec, AND swappable covers = everyone wins. Can even (it seems) swap Voda-red, O2-blue and Orange-erm-orange colour schemes if they are a bit lairy after a while. Probably only to the standard WP-green, but it's a start...

      Waiting for the tatt-bay knock-off third party Xpress-on cover in black with a silver apple on it.

    5. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Nice preemptive attack

      I see the msft employees are getting savvy, accusing the others of their own doings. Just looking at all the praise for the fugly WP7, and all the upvotes you got, makes one wonder. In particular when everywhere the reaction to these phones can be resumed as "meh". Low/mid-range specs, low/mig range price, fugly interface, OS barly comparable to old versions of the competitors, clowny colours...

      One has to wonder how suddenly this forum has so much praise yet to be seen phones, and so much upvotes for the softies and downvotes for the critics.

    6. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      The back cover of the 710 is swapable. The current choice of covers is just plain, and in the same colours that Microsoft use for the tiles in the UI. There is nothing to stop other colours and designs being released in future.

    7. N13L5
      FAIL

      OK, so this is going to "push hard on Android"...?

      Give me one reason why people should jump into Microsoft's walled garden to replace even two year old Motorola Defy models with this??

      This is not faster, no better camera, no better screen, not even an SD slot, certainly not dust and water proof / mil spec rugged, didn't see gorilla glass mentioned, and yet its more expensive than the Defy was a year ago.

      My one year old has thrown my wife's Defy on concrete floors with no damage (since I installed Toddler Lock, she thinks its hers, but she lets mommy borrow it, and she loves talking on it too)

      A friend recently asked me why it is that toddlers go crazy over smart phones...

      Anyway, I think people who want to be in walled gardens have already bought Apple phones and for those of us who don't like having someone else decide things for us, M$' walled garden that looks more like a ghetto seems no alternative, regardless of fancy big colored squares with clipped text.

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    It's Windows Mobile, so no thanks.

    I wouldn't use one of they paid me. That clown picture is a typical Windows Mobile owner....

  6. Ilgaz

    stalk the manager suits and ask these

    You should ask them about s40 qt and what were they thinking with meltemi linux announcement coming from nowhere.

    What will they do with the elephant in the room as they partner with oracle's arch enemy and relying on java on "next billion" is another matter.

    I assume it was hard for you to find a nokia contact there since you must be "enemy" based on your the register career. They like reporters working as their press.

    It is amazing nobody asks about the natural upgrader customer base who runs abandoned symbian and who are really pissed off. Just recently endomondo guys officially declared end of updates. Sports tracking is one of couple things symbian phones do great because of battery life.

    1. aThingOrTwo

      It's not Windows Mobile.

      It's Windows Phone, not Windows Mobile.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Windows PHONE

        That makes all the difference ... it should BLUE SCREEN if you dial for EMERGENCY HELP.

    2. Darryl
      Alien

      Hey, JDX

      Look! It's like you're psychic

    3. Robredz
      Linux

      I would prefer to keep any Microsoft incarnations away from me. So it's No more Nokia for me. I snapped up a Pre 3 and it's just fine and dandy for my purposes, one Os with potential, and HP fsck up, but Heigh Ho

  7. Chad H.
    Thumb Down

    Speaking of which, at several points I asked Nokia people whether they would seriously choose to carry around a phone that is Shocking Blue, Shocking Yellow, or Screaming Pink. These are clown colours – they don't convey "edgy" or hip, but Ronald McDonald. Or Mr Tumble.

    ---

    I'm an iPhone user.

    But I'd be happy carrying around the blue one. I thought it looked quite nice.

    1. Vladimir Nicolici
      WTF?

      I don't get it...

      Why is everyone complaining about the Lumia 800 "clown" colors?

      It will also be available in black.

      Or, as Gizmodo put it: "It's available in cyan, magenta, black, black, black, and black."

      Even the picture from the Vodafone UK site shows the black version: http://www.vodafone.co.uk/brands/nokia/nokia-lumia-800/

    2. c3
      Meh

      Colors for Indian market ?

      I read somewhere they are positioning these phones for the Indian market. Maybe someone at Nokia saw some Indian clothing and/or some Indian movies just after taking a look at India's wiki page, and thought:

      Lower end (cheaper) smartphone + bright colors + India = 1 BILLION phones sold

    3. Andus McCoatover
      Windows

      I'd actually buy the pink...

      No self-respecting theif's gonna be seen dead with THAT!

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    mango shmango

    Why is it that no one can offer a 32GB-64GB capacity phone with at least a 4" screen and dual camera on the WP7.5 platform - the closest is the HTC Titan and Nokia could have had a winner over the Titan had they offered those options. (iPhone 4s=64GB anyone?)

    Trying to sell me a phone in Q4 2011 with features of a phone from Q4 2010 simply isn't inviting at all - my iPhone 4 and HTC Desire HD is still more appealing at one year of age plus than any of the Lumias, I'll stick with them I guess.

  9. MrT
    Thumb Up

    Mr Tumble!

    I wonder what the Makaton gesture for 'Elop', 'Nokia' and 'Microsoft' is...?

    And could they get away with them on CBeebies...

  10. Sander van der Wal
    Thumb Up

    Shocking Blue

    Named after the famous Dutch Rock act, one presumes? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shocking_Blue

  11. John G Imrie

    Lots of things promiced next year

    Looks like Nokia have fully baught into the Microsoft way of doing things.

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    So for V1.0 of the great MS/Nokia adventure

    I'll give it a 'Meh? So what'.

    Compared to the opposition, these hardly break waves.

    As normal with MS they promise a lot in the next version.

    So we shall have to see what Version 2.0, 3.0, 4.0 gives.

    Meanwhile, Android and Apple go marching on.

    Meh?

    1. saned
      Holmes

      The Lumias are supposed to be budget phones, not top-of-the-line phones like those a year ago.

      1. Paul Shirley

        high end phones was the "burning platform" Elop abandoned

        1: probably a safer gamble going budget/midrange right now. WP7 hasn't set the world alight and simply putting Nokia's badge on the devices won't magically turn that around overnight. Highly profitable high end phones would risk chasing a small share of a tiny market, a market Apple already own. Easier and safer to smuggle WP7 into many more peoples pockets with cheaper phones.

        2: after so many engineers walked and with so short a deadline Nokia had little choice but to take last years high end hardware and hack WP onto them. Last years high end == this years budget. The lost talent aren't likely to return and Nokia are likely to be out of the high end for a long time.

        3: Microsoft need volume more than trailblazing phones. What Microsoft wants, Elop delivers. Microsoft actually have to fight for sales, unlike the PC with its 'Microsoft tax' and default Windows installs. The bulk of the market don't care what the OS is, just that it works and the price is right and that means competing with increasing numbers of cheap, powerful Android devices.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      dunno, but

      point to face and point to coat and you have iMac

    3. dogged

      is that an Android spellchecker or iOS?

      1. John G Imrie
        Windows

        is that an Android spellchecker or iOS?

        Windows XP.

        Yes is true I typed the OP on a windows box.

        Shame.

    4. Andrew Orlowski (Written by Reg staff)

      Re: Mr Tumble!

      +5

      This calls for a competition!

    5. eoin haluch

      Strange WP7 V1.0 had wireless sync and a true notifications system, unless I'm mistaken it wasn't till V.5 that IOS had it?

      Now I think about it WP7 v1.0 also had a hardware camera button that didn't require the phone to be unlocked. I could go on....

      As for Andriod, well as the recent patent cases prove they just steal other peoples ideas!

      1. christian baier
        Meh

        if you really think software patents prove anything beyond that the guy with the lawyers and money to register obvious ideas often wins, you're mistaken...

    6. Spearchucker Jones

      Killer app.

      Drive and Maps on the Lumia. Find it on YouTube. Nothing like it on Android or iOS.

  13. Christopher Rogers
    Facepalm

    ummm...yea.......

    Was holding out to see what Nokia produce. Decision made. HTC Sensation XE. The whole thing smacks of meeeetooo and there really is nothing there that make the Nokias stand out. Suddenly the MS tie in looks more like a noose. Nokia to be to MS what Motorola is to Google?

    1. Robert E A Harvey

      "Suddenly the MS tie in looks more like a noose."

      Suddenly?

    2. Manu T
      Unhappy

      told you, didn't I?

      I've been telling for several months that there's really nothing that would differntiate Nokia's WP7 phones from all the other WP7 phones except the carl Zeiss logo on fron to/t device.

      The reality is indeed that. You do get OVI Maps (or whatever it's been called now) something called Nokia Music (Comes with Music under a different name probably) and some lame ESPN stuff that nobody really cares about (since ESPN is only available in the US and NOT in those emerging markets that these current Nokia leaders deem so important but which they obviously overlooked).

      They should have released the N9 worldwide in September. They should have appointed ME as CEO then they would have been world leader in comms again but since I don't live in those 'emerging markets' I'm not important enough, jusrt like all the other El Reg readers whom don't live in 'emerging markets'.

      I'll stick with my C7 for the time being. In the future I'll probaly stop using cell-phones and cease working (since I'll be out of job because of those emerging markets ) anyway. And hence won't need a cell phone. Their all digging their own grave.

      1. JC_

        Free, worldwide offline sat nav doesn't differentiate the Nokia phones at all? What else do you want? A free blowjob & a ride on a unicorn?

        1. BXL
          Happy

          Aren't those 2 things incompatible ?

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Ovi maps - excellent

        I find OVI maps on my Nokia C5 to be very good, having used them on foot and in cars in Australasia and half a dozen countries in Europe. In fact, on a recent drive across Switzerland, Germany, Austria, Slovakia and Hungary they were rather better than my companion's Garmin device. Free to boot - one of the features making me hesitate before changing to an iphone or android.

        Fact is, Nokia's built-in functionality is rather good. I hope both low and high end mobiles retain it.

  14. Tom 7 Silver badge

    Hallo darkness my old friend

    "The new Nokia Music service was developed in collaboration with Microsoft"

    A Simon and Garfunkel song springs to mind.

    I couldn't actually see from the article if the 710 was going to be running android or just competing with it some completely unspecified way.

  15. James 12
    Facepalm

    Typical Nokia

    So another one designed by a very large committee. Giving you absolutely 0 UPS that you wants and several large ones you really dont...

    Who is going to choose this over the beautifully simple Apple island or the techky Android world?

    Nokia are still stuck firmly in the 90s and will die there once the 3rd world moves past their cheap phones...

    1. Andrew Orlowski (Written by Reg staff)

      Re: Hallo darkness my old friend

      Trouble over Bridgewater?

    2. Chad H.

      Might be on to something with the simon and Garfunkel thing...

      They say that William H. Gates owns one half of this whole site

      with political connections to keep his money tight

      Born in the other washington, a lawyer's favourite son

      he had everything a man could want.

      Excel, Windows, Dos.

      But I, I'm stuck with that damn Clippy. And I curse the comp I'm using and I curse all of IT..... Oh I wish that I could see, Oh I wish that I could see, yes I wish that I could Billy Gates

    3. foo_bar_baz

      It's "USP"

      Don't say there aren't any until you've seen the bundled sat nav. People buy Nokia phones just for that alone.

    4. Fred Flintstone Gold badge

      I could do with a UPS..

      Recently a mate of mine asked what I had in my rucksack.

      As I was just using my iPhone I said, "that's the spare battery". I can't blame him for believing me, with WhatsApp sending all my SMS traffic to the NSA and 3G sucking the rest you actually need more juice.

      I found a way to survive a day with one charge. First off, I ripped out WhatsApp (not tried iMessage yet - same NSA problem, ditto iCloud location services), secondly WiFi off, thirdly - no 3G. Especially the latter is an absolutely astonishing battery booster. I'll switch it on when I need the Net, but for email EDGE is good enough..

      Anyway, sorry for the digression. It's the UPS that done it :-).

  16. This post has been deleted by its author

  17. Chris 171

    Can't think of a title.

    Still a little meh that the top phone is just a N9 in disguise but agree that with the timescales concerned its good to see these devices in the market now.

    I wait with interest for the leaked details on the proper 'designed' for winpho models, before I'll even consider ditching S3 (I like playing with settings as it goes).

    As an aside, sent an email to Mr Elop earlier this week & got a nice reply back at 7am the next morning, yeah he's had to bone a lot of people and thats always controversial but this whole Nokia/Microsoft tie up is all good in my book, for the not too distant future anyway.

    The public are set to get some very nice devices in their mitts.

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    The 710 does sound like a good deal.

    But do either come with NFC as that seems to be what everyone has been banging on about lately.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Just like the front facing cameras

      NFC is entirely absent from both devices.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        NFC!

        The absense of NFC in a device is IMHO a rather large SELLING POINT.

        I will never use it. So being able to buy phones without it is a big thumbs up from my POV.

        Yeah, I had my ID stolen in 2008. I still get calls from Debt Collectors even though I don't owe anyone anything. It is like Cancer. Until you experience it, you don't quite know how bad it can get. The ***** even tried to sell my car on Ebay. That was how bad it got.

        NFC is IMHO, just like that, a disaster waiting to happen. Never in the field of payments has so much been stolen from so many by so few.

        Anon naturally because like the Tesco advert says, 'Evey bit of information about you helps someone seal your ID'

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      The 700 comes with NFC, it's a very underrated phone.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Thank God..

      .. I will NEVER buy a phone with a Neat Farcical Cockup built in, thanks. NFC is for people that don't understand radio.

      The only reason you have to be close to the terminal for it to work is because those terminals have terrible antennas. Use a decent antenna and you can communicate with these chips at a good 10m distance.

      Now imagine what sort of fun things you could do with a method of payment you could read surreptitiously without requiring the user to even touch it - still want that fancy "wave" credit card now?

      /rant

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      I'd rather it came with KFC

  19. NeverYouMind
    Meh

    I do like the looks and spec of the Lumia 800 and will probably buy one as a replacement of my now 3yr old HTC TyTN2 but it's royally annoyed me that they didn't release any info on the Nokia 'Ace' which would have been the top of the line one with a portrait keyboard.

    How hard is it for companies in the phone manufacturing business to release well designed, solidly built and well spec'd phones?!? Is Apple the only one that can do it?

    I don't want an iPhone cos everyone and their dog has one, I don't want an Android (as to me, it's a more modern version of Windows Mobile 6.x, where you can customised the s**t out of it), I want a WP7 cos it looks good and is reasonable powerful and more suited to me.

    I may work in IT but it doesn't mean I want a full-on techie phone like Android or a super simplistic one like Apple :/

    1. mm0zct

      Nokia used to

      "How hard is it for companies in the phone manufacturing business to release well designed, solidly built and well spec'd phones?!? Is Apple the only one that can do it?"

      Like my n900, I can't fault it except for the gps, which only ever seems to work with the help of the "agps" cell tower triangulation as a starting point, and this requires internet (not a problem if your contract has 3g, I decided to do the internet as pay on the days I need it).

      The phone itself is solid, has a good keyboard, screen and ui, and is well spec'd for it's time (and I will probably be using it indefinitely, since they aren't releasing a maego successor with a keyboard)

  20. Bad Beaver

    Pure Anger About the 800

    Can you believe it? It doesn't come with NFC, it has little RAM… If you compare, the only thing that is BETTER than the N9 is the processor, for whatever that might be worth. That's just nuts, especially the NFC part. This might be due to some M$ regulation, yet it simply means that I won't buy it. Disappointing, really. I'd much rather import an N9, live with the "lack" of ecosystem. At least it brings an innovative concept to the table. The 800 is just meh. MEH!

    Oh and yes, I'd take any of the 800/N9 colors. They are quite refreshing and you will have no problem finding your device on a table full of identical iPhones and faceless Android devices.

    1. pan2008

      RAM

      It doesn't have the RAM cause it doesn't need it. The N9 comes with 1G as do many of the top androids. Can't say about meego but an android with 500MB, 1 core runs like a dog. Any windows phone 7 Mango is more fluid than the best android.

    2. JC_
      Thumb Down

      Automatic Downvote

      for using "M$".

  21. silver fox
    Coat

    I only read this because...

    ....you said it would be the shortest review ever!

  22. MIc
    Happy

    I've got an HD7, from my cold dead hands....

  23. Shagbag
    FAIL

    Boring

    The only excitement I can see anyone getting from those handsets is a bowel movement.

  24. enerider
    Pint

    I'm considering swapping to a Lumia 710 from an HTC Trophy - if nothing else so that I know the phone will play nice with the bluetooth car kit and have the far better maps option where the maps are loaded to the device rather than the extortion racket known as NZ mobile data rates.

    Pint because it'll take one to mull this over...

    1. Dapprman

      Can't believe some oen amrked you down

      For pointing out you want to use a hands free set - as Android, does not, never has, and probably never will support hands free voice dialling - yes there is a third party product that works well but why the blazes should you have to buy extras from third part vendors to provide basic functionality that should have been there from the start.

      (and before anyone accuses me of being anti-android, I've got a HTC Desire Z, which until the Gingerbread update worked well - once I'd found ways round all of Android's short comings)

  25. Steve Evans

    So who's running the book on how long it is before the 710 has its boot broken and Android installed?

  26. g77
    Thumb Down

    Tom Hanks

    Mango looks good, but Microsoft, very much like Tom Hanks, are still on my "NO!" list. This may be their 'Road to Perdition' but it's going to take a while before I forgive them for Windows Gump. I won't even have any of their software on my Macs (if you don't like Macs then it's because you like your life to be difficult, so sod off).

    1. PoorLumpyPony

      Really?

      I thought people didnt like macs because they are overly expensive for indifferent hardware and insufficiently customisable for certain uses?

      Its got to the point where I will use one for work (previously the home of Windows) as cost is largely negated as I wont personally be paying and being able to customise what is essentially just a thin client with storage is irrelevant....thanks to only having to use browser interface apps and RDP.

      And I get the shiny!

    2. LazyGit

      Macs are the Tom Hanks of the PC world.

    3. Rustybucket

      I don't like Macs because...

      - the consumer-level hardware usually lags behind competitors

      - I'm not overly fond of the looks of *any* of their gear

      - I can't stand global menus

      - OSX is just as useless and cantankerous as Windows and much more so than BSD or Linux

      - I mainly use software that will run on pretty much any platform

      - Apple seems to lack even the most basic of corporate ethics

      - the magic mouse sucks

      - their keyboards suck

      - glossy screens suck

      As for the phones, I like them - wth does everything *have* to be grey? Besides, a bright colour means I might be able to find the bl**dy thing...

  27. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Don't those phones look amazingly like the iPhone

    rounded corners etc, a touch screen etc. From the piccy's like.

    Wonder if any Fruitbat lawyers will be watching.....

  28. OrsonX
    Unhappy

    Looks like Elop The Clown....

    ... also forgot the front facing camera on the 800, doh!

    I was looking forward to this phone, I wanted this phone, in fact two of them, one for me and one for the Mrs. I thought the N9 looked really cool, finally something to get excited about. All Nokia had to do was switch MeGoo for WP7, that's it, that's all that was required. Instead they went to the trouble of re-designing the phone to remove features!

    The lack of FFC is truly bizzare given MS's aquisition of Skype and the obvious video-chating this implies. Does MS not now also "own" Nokia??? Do they not talk?

    The design of the N9 is truly a breath of fresh air (the first since the iPhone4), however they deserve to continue to fail for their UTTER incompetence. Why did they release their "killer" phone shortly after the N9, making it look instantly inferior?

    I had vowed never to buy another Nokia after the POS that was the N95, I was willing to give them another shot with the 800..., but they have seriously blown it, a real shame.

  29. John 62

    blue?

    I like the blue one. Is it any different from some of the Apple iPhone 4 bumpers?

    Anyway, there really is no accounting for taste. People put some horrific covers on their phones/iPods. Blue and pink models won't be a barrier to many consumers.

    So is Dungeon Raid in the WinPho marketplace? With the Mac support and Nokia Drive I'm tempted to go for a Lumia 800 (though moreso by the iPhone 4S).

  30. Bassey

    Don't diss Mr Tumble!

  31. Peter Townsend
    WTF?

    Shortest and worst

    If you don't like loud colours the Lumina 800 comes in black while the 710 comes in black and white. It's called choice. From what I saw today the blue one looks rather fetching - nothing shocking about it.

  32. croaker
    Thumb Up

    Don't knock Mr Tumble

    He's a god amongst toddlers!!

  33. James Foreman

    Colours

    Bright clown colours are a good thing, for at least some customers. My wife only buys shocking pink phones now, because they show up better in a dark environment and so they're harder to accidentally leave in the back of taxis than black oblongs.

    Come to think of it, maybe if all the Civil Service laptops/phones/USB sticks were in full-on clown colours, they wouldn't get lost so easily either...

  34. Andy Hards
    Unhappy

    Spelling

    Is it just me or do the people that slag off Nokia phones all have the spelling ability of my 6 year old daughter?

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