back to article Vegas man begs web for $1m to fix gigantic scrotum

An American has turned to the internet to raise $1m to pay for an operation to fix his scrotum, which has swollen to an eye-watering 45kg. Aussie Reg reader Andrew pointed us towards the case of Wesley Warren Jr, who has been afflicted with scrotal elephantiasis for the last three years. The condition is common in Africa, …

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  1. Nick 10

    Shouldn't his name be Buster Gonad?

    1. TRT Silver badge

      He's getting treatment from a Russian doctor, you know; Gunter Hackyabolokov.

      1. LarsG

        Lars Gonards....

        The Norwegian was treated by the same guy but I think his name was Viktor Yankabollockov

  2. TRT Silver badge

    I'm sure Viz magazine would sponsor him.

  3. This post has been deleted by its author

  4. HP Cynic

    Ah the wonders of the American Healthcare System: great if you can afford the ridiculous premiums and are then lucky enough to get them to cough up in times of need.

    Anyway I feel sorry for him and wish him good luck.

  5. This post has been deleted by its author

  6. Christopher P. Martin
    WTF?

    And yet...

    ...so many Americans think a national health service is a bad thing. If he was a UK citizen, he'd most likely already have been treated and would be on the road to recovery by now. It's obscene that he has to even think about the cost. Oh that's right, I forgot- in American English "socialism" is a synonym for Communism isn't it?

  7. Ryan Kendall
    Trollface

    What no free healthcare?

    Sounds more like a competition, Get your balls cut off for only 1 Million Dollars.

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    asking the internet for money?

    well, he's got balls, I've give him that ....

  9. Keith 21

    Something to remember...

    Definitely a situation to remember as our politicians rush to privatise and dismantle our NHS...

  10. Jay_x386
    Childcatcher

    damn

    bad, bad, bad,.... I hate you register for making me read this AND click on the link

    1. Northern Fop
      Trollface

      Close? Yes!

      Cigar? No.

    2. TRT Silver badge

      I, for one, am proud of the UK's pubic health service.

    3. BristolBachelor Gold badge
      FAIL

      I read somewhere that Medicaid (the public healthcare system that isn't helping him) cost every American tax payer more per person than the UK NHS (which probably would've helped him and lots of others).

      1. Filippo

        Re: BristolBachelor

        The USA system tends to let conditions fester until they become emergencies, at which point they can get treated under the public system. This, obviously, costs a lot more to the public system compared to fixing the problem as soon as possible. Chances are that in a proper public system, this condition would have been treated much earlier, at a far smaller cost.

    4. MJI Silver badge

      NHS was agreed by all parties

      Not just the socialists

      1. Naughtyhorse

        agreed by all???

        NHS was agreed by all parties - except the doctors and the tories

        there fixed it for you

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Naughty horse...

          Doctors opposed it on the basis of concerns about how they would get paid. Now, they're very vocal supporters as it gives them a nice high income. For consultants, it gives them a tidy wedge to supplement their private work.

          The Tories opposed it for their own reasons ;-)

          Both were right to question the NHS as a concept, but both did so for the wrong reasons. Now we have an unaffordable, easily exploited system that tries to offer everything to everyone (depending where you are), and fails at most things. Great, we can offer sex changes and IVF, but we can't afford cleaners and A&E waiting times are hours long.

          A wonderful, utopian idea, doomed to fail - a bit like most socialist concepts.

          1. Big-nosed Pengie

            . Now we have arguably the best health care system in the world

            I fixed that for you.

        2. David Neil

          No, the doctors agreed, especially once they were able to ensure they could still carry out private consultations.

      2. Christopher Blackmore
        Headmaster

        The Conservatives fought against the inception of the NHS as hard as they could, as it was going to take away the rights of doctors to get rich.

        1. Robert E A Harvey
          Thumb Down

          @ Blackmore

          "NHS...was going to take away the rights of doctors to get rich."

          <baldrick>They are sort of rich now, though, aren't they?</baldrick>

        2. Naughtyhorse

          and have laboured night and day since to dismantle it

    5. Jedit

      Not quite, Chris P

      To quote the Disposable Heroes of Hiphoprisy: "socialist" means "un-American".

      And if you're a Republican, "liberal" means "socialist".

    6. Naughtyhorse
      Joke

      socialised medicine....

      great for the unfeasibly large testicle, but the death panels??? they are just too high a price to pay :-)

      Ohh me plumbs!

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Playmobile?

        pictures or it didn't happen ...

    7. CmdrX3

      Ok, that one made me giggle.

    8. zen1
      Meh

      I'm thinking

      Either the national distributor of Brazil Nuts or Adidas (soccer/football ball division) would be naturals! My guess is that he could probably get a better deal through tissue/organ donation.

    9. ShelLuser

      @Christopher

      Worse.. Even "uncivilized" countries like Iraq used to provide medical services free of charge. Granted; I have no idea how the skills of their doctors fare in comparison with those in Europe or the US, but the fact remains that even there people like him would have been treated.

      Makes you seriously wonder about the difference between "civilized" and "uncivilized"...

    10. TheOtherJola
      Coat

      If The Reg posted a picture

      you could clearly see he's nuts.

      (audible joke transcribed into text - doesn't quite work...)

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        pesky testes

        Through the careful exploitation of image rights, he could make enough dosh to sort out his pesky testes once and for all.

        It's like the old saying goes "if God gives you comical testicles, take profitable photos of them"

    11. Marvin the Martian
      Linux

      $1,000,000?

      I'm sorry, but that's a ridiculous made-up number. I guess he'll need it to retire on after the say $20,000 operation which made him the world's laughing stock.

      For £300K you can have a series of operations to separate conjoined/siamese twins --- from flying them in with parents and lodging those for many weeks in London, to several operations to separate circulation and blood/brain barriers and bone and other tissues, and so forth and so forth.

      As if the problem wasn't worth snipping off at 10kg... Or is he so massively overweight that he didn't notice given the overhanging belly?

    12. MacGyver
      FAIL

      I remember their original M.O., deny claim at first, then deny again, then finally pay after you pushed the issue, and they couldn't figure out any other way to not pay it.

      Plus they had the racket of the century going for a while:

      Have job at (A), hurt your back forever, insurance company (G) pays while at job (A).

      Leave job (A), get job with (B), new insurance company (H) says prior condition, not covered.

      Throw in a few more jobs over the years, and everything that hurts and is broken is a prior condition and not covered, still pay high premium, for what's left that isn't broken only

      .

      I don't know what it's like under the new plan. But I can tell you that the best insurance plan I ever had was under the Army, and it was the very definition of social medicine. Everyone pays the same price (by grade), and whatever is wrong is covered and fixed, period Yet the Repubs in the states think anything "social" is a Russian plot. I have even seen soldiers that were Republican bitching about President Obama trying to give everyone socialized medicine, they didn't even realize that that's what they themselves had. Hell Republican senators have had their own private socialized medical plan for years.

      1. Zippy the Pinhead

        @MacGyver

        If the Law enacted by Congress is good enough for the rest of us.. then maybe Congress should be forced to join it as well!

    13. Slabfondler
      Paris Hilton

      At first I thought it was funny, but having read the article linked here, its really terribly sad. Paris should donate to this cause she's so caring these days.

  11. Wize

    Depending on the amount of beeding...

    ...they might have to remove everything.

    I can feel the draft of every man's knees slamming closed at the same time.

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    That guys has some big balls to go asking for help!

    That's all I have.

  13. Shaha Alam

    bollock!

    there, i said it.

  14. Paul Smith

    Wow

    I am so happy that I live in a country where doctors ask "What seems to be the matter?" and not "How will you be paying?"

    1. Annihilator
      Coat

      "What's the matter?"

      I don't think the doc would need to ask that question in this case...

    2. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
      Thumb Up

      What country is that?

      Caring doctors, non-cartelized healthcare and affordable treatment not financed by Nonexistent Money From The Future®!

      I want to go there.

    3. Wize
      Coffee/keyboard

      And the spacehopper link photo...

      ...new keyboard please.

  15. Andrew Moore Silver badge
    Thumb Up

    Ho ho...

    Viz will be suing him for copyright shortly...

  16. fridaynightsmoke
    Coat

    He put his balls in a microwave to get medical weed-

    I saw a similar thing on TV once...

  17. Ol'Peculier
    Happy

    Viz

    Get Viz magazine to sponsor it, create an American Buster Gonads

  18. Simon B
    WTF?

    $1M?? wtf?? I find that hard to believe

  19. Code Monkey
    Trollface

    He's taking the piss

    No way do wheelbarrows cost that much!

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Poppa Nut

      Bearded, banjo playing hillbilly with unfeasibly large testicles.

    2. Robert E A Harvey
      WTF?

      That struck me. It seems awfully bloody expensive. A holiday in Mexico or Uruguay might save a lot of cash.

  20. JohnG Silver badge

    $1 million?

    I had two slipped discs, for which I had MRI scans, MRI-directed steroid injections and finally, surgery with a 10 day stay in hospital. This was performed privately in Germany and all the bills added up to about 12K Euros. How can it possibly cost $1 million to chop off someone's balls?

    1. TRT Silver badge

      It's true that it doesn't cost much for a couple of house bricks, but a clinical machine to bang them together...

    2. Bassey

      Re: How can it possibly cost $1 million to chop off someone's balls?

      I believe that is precisely what he is trying to avoid happening.

    3. TRT Silver badge
      Paris Hilton

      Maybe he's anchoring after getting the rest of his tackle upsized to match?

  21. Ol'Peculier
    Happy

    Demographics

    From the amount of comments saying pretty much the same thing, us El Reg readers are certainly on the same wavelength!

  22. Ian Emery Silver badge

    he needs to marry a gold digger, then divorce her, she will chop him off at the balls for a lot less.

    1. chairman_of_the_bored
      Joke

      Unfortunately...

      ...he will still have to raise a million to marry a gold-digger, and in any case isn't it illegal to marry a miner?

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    If he can get enough publicity, I'm sure GoldenPalace will be happy to talk to him...

  24. Adrian Midgley 1

    _Stern_ show?

    Ball show surely.

  25. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    This case embarrasses the USA as a disgusting parody of a 'civilised' nation! I'm so glad to be British - over here he'd be treated like a human being and not a waste of money. If you let that happen to a family pet you'd be in court for cruelty!

    1. James Hughes 1

      Hmm

      Not as much as the recent report on child abuse and murder in the States. Now that IS embarrassing.

  26. Graham Bartlett

    @JohnG

    The cost comes from *NOT* chopping them off. (Yay, privatised healthcare. I hope he's not voting Republican next time.)

    Mind you, he says "he should be in the prime of life". Perhaps he should be. Except by his own admission he was obese, no job and living on his own at age 44, before any of this happened.

    1. Rameses Niblick the Third (KKWWMT) Silver badge
      Stop

      @Graham Bartlett

      "Except by his own admission he was obese, no job and living on his own at age 44, before any of this happened."

      From the linked article:

      "Then working on commission finding appropriate sites for ATM machines in the Las Vegas Valley, Warren said he went to doctors off and on for months, including a lymphedema specialist, without finding help. "I kind of gave up," he said.

      But the swelling became so large that he could no longer work. He went on disability. And in early 2010 he again entered UMC, hoping that doctors could find a way to take him out of his misery."

      So he was working, I cant see it as fair to criticise him for living alone, a lot of people do, and for someone over 6 ft tall, his original weight of 300 pounds does not necessarily make him obese.

      A somewhat harsh, and wholly inaccurate comment, in my view.

      1. Zippy the Pinhead
        WTF?

        6ft tall and 300 pounds

        Ummm his starting weight of 300... he's so overweight it's not funny.. unless he's a body builder on steroids he shouldn't weigh no more than 180 or so.. My insurance company states I should weigh no more than 190 and I'm 6'3". And at his current weight of 450 he would be considered morbidly obese.

        1. Mark 65 Silver badge

          Errrr, no. I'm 6ft and weigh just over 100kg (220lbs). Not fat, and not a 'roider either. 190 for 6' 3" sounds like a bullshit BMI figure.

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          @Zippy

          "And at his current weight of 450 he would be considered morbidly obese."

          Tell you what Zippy, you carry an extra 100 pounds down the front of your trousers and see how active you manage to be. As the guy's affliction is adding 100 pounds (according to the article) to his weight beyond normal, to have only gained 50 pounds is actually quite impressive. People who are mostly housebound tend to pile the weight on much quicker than that.

      2. Graham Bartlett

        @Ramses

        "his original weight of 300 pounds does not necessarily make him obese"

        Yes it does, by the medical definition of "obese". It is just about possible to be 6 foot, 300lbs and not be fat. Ronnie Coleman, for instance. But this guy is not a professional bodybuilder, yeah?

        As for working, he'd just lost his job.

        The reason he says for keeping his nads is that he wants to have kids. I'm just pointing out that on the evidence, this is basically a pipe dream, even without the nads-in-a-wheelbarrow problem.

        1. Rameses Niblick the Third (KKWWMT) Silver badge
          Facepalm

          @Graham Bartlett

          "It is just about possible to be 6 foot, 300lbs and not be fat. Ronnie Coleman, for instance. But this guy is not a professional bodybuilder, yeah?"

          True, but there is an awful lot of difference between being fat and being obese as you stated. I didn't say he wasn't fat, I said he isn't necessarily obese. By your own example, you can't judge obesity given only someone's height and weight. The linked article also says he worked in security. What kind of role did he have? Well we don't know, but if he was a bouncer, for example, then it's quite likely he would have been in reasonable physical shape.

          "As for working, he'd just lost his job."

          I suggest you read the article, or al least the post you are replying to. He didn't lose his job, he quit because he was no longer capable of performing his duties.

          But hey, let's not let the facts get in the way of mocking the guy with nuts the same weight as a person, eh?

  27. JimmyPage Silver badge
    WTF?

    $1,000,000 ????

    Someone, somewhere is taking the Michael. If this is a true figure then the only reason I can think of is that the surgeons insurance company want's to protect themselves against a civil claim if the operation results in loss of one or both testicles.

    There, I managed to type all that without saying "balls up". Do I get a prize ?

  28. James Hughes 1

    I'm reminded

    Of a mate at University, who during a Taekwondo lesson took a cracker to the nuts. He swelled up to the size of a football (I didn't see it thank the deity), and had to have one removed.

    Guess he didn't have the million required to just put a pressure relief valve in.

    If you are reading this Adam, hope the other one worked OK!

  29. Jason Bloomberg Silver badge
    Joke

    Reminds me of a joke from way back ...

    Man goes to see a doctor; "I've got one ball much bigger than the other".

    "Show me", says the doctor.

    The patient produces a huge testicle, the size of a basketball. The doctor bursts out laughing, tears streaming down his cheeks.

    "Don't laugh", says the patient, "or I won't show you the large one".

  30. peyton?
    Paris Hilton

    Not so simple

    In the original article, no one can actually say definitively wtf he has wrong with him. He actually has a choice between getting a medicaid covered surgery in-state, or paying the seven figures for UCLA where they claim he has better odds - *in spite* of the fact that they don't say what is wrong with him.

    Without more info, this is not a national health system fail (not that we don't excel at that). This just sounds like UCLA is preying on someone who is in a vulnerable state. UCLA actually said 'medicaid would not pay us *enough*'.

    (side note: I also don't understand why he won't disclose how much money he has collected so far)

    1. Peter Simpson 1
      Thumb Up

      There once was a man from Devizes

      ...

      But the other won several prizes!

  31. Andus McCoatover
    Windows

    I think he needs to meet Mrs. Bobbitt.

    A million $?

    Large bottle of whisky and a razor blade, surely...

    1. Simon Round
      Joke

      Shirley!

      "Large Bottle of Whisky and a razor blade, surely..."

      I'm sure that using a sharp implemement whilst drunk will mean they will have to start calling him Shirley!

  32. Gareth

    A different angle to the dangle...

    The story is spun as "man denied medical care by US healthcare system", but he could have surgery under Medicaid (free healthcare for poor people) - he just wants to go private as the expensive cutting-edge techniques have more chance of saving his reproductive functions.

    Same as would happen in the UK - if you don't want the NHS option, you have to pay.

    1. Andus McCoatover
      Windows

      "cutting-edge techniques" ???

      Don't think that's what he had in mind...

  33. kain preacher Silver badge

    $1 mil

    IS because they have no clue what is going on. It's exploratory surgery. A kidney trans plant cost $16,043.

  34. Chris Seiter
    Joke

    Surgical music

    I wonder if they'll have any AC/DC playing during the procedure?

    1. TRT Silver badge

      No, that there Sex Pistols album.

  35. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Pics please

    I want to set up the next goatse.cx.

  36. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Compassion

    US Health Care is fubar, our treasonous officials want it that way, If I had the money I would donate it to him.NOBODY should suffer like that!

  37. Marketing Hack Silver badge

    The denunciation of Medicare is a bit of a misnomer

    Turns out that Medicare WILL pay to alleviate his condition, but for a much less expensive procedure with the risk that he will lose his reproductive organs. This guy wants to raise $1 million for a more expensive, private course of treatment that will carry much less risk to his future in the gene pool.

    /sarcasm on

    It's not like that due to cost constraints, denying more expensive forms of care that have better potential outcomes ever happens in the NHS....

    /sarcasm off

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      It's not necessarily a gene pool thing, in case you were worried about his potential progeny being a burden on humanity. After all, he could probably just have some special sauce frozen now if that were the case. The reasoning is more likely to be the course of hormones that he would be on for the rest of his life, and perhaps there is a risk of impotency or reduced enjoyment of sex if the operation were to go wrong. That should be enough to give anybody pause for thought. Perhaps the more expensive operation wouldn't be available on the NHS anyway - who knows - but the condition probably wouldn't have gotten this far in the first place, and ongoing care is likely to be easier to access and more comprehensive if there is an op cock-up.

      1. Marketing Hack Silver badge
        Trollface

        boooo!!!!!

        Cock-up? Intentional or Freudian usage there? :)

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          theregister@andystubbs.com

          Alas, intentional. Ballsup was already taken, generally bad form, yadda yadda, but cockup seemed fresh for the plucking. Glad you spotted it though >_<

  38. Darkone

    if you look around the net in the usual places, this guy was on Howard Stern a month or so ago... His HowardTV show should be around somewhere.

  39. Darkone

    Photos:

    http://howardstern.com/image.hs?ts=1&i=/mini-09-14-11---John-with-Huge-Balls-weighing-his-balls-2.jpg

    http://howardstern.com/image.hs?ts=1&i=/mini-09-14-11---John-with-Huge-Balls-on-studio-couch.jpg

    http://howardstern.com/image.hs?ts=1&i=/mini-09-14-11---John-with-Huge-Balls-showing-his-huge-balls-3.jpg

    http://howardstern.com/image.hs?ts=1&i=/mini-09-14-11---John-with-Huge-Balls-in-studio.jpg

  40. Mike Flugennock
    Coat

    May I suggest Kickstarter...?

    ...or would that be a bit tasteless in this context?

  41. evs
    Facepalm

    Something smells here

    ...and not like sweat.

    "My balls will explode unless someone pays me (insert pinky in mouth) one MILLION dollars". How much would it cost to get this treated at a 5-star facility in Mexico, Thailand or India. Even if the guy has to pay for two seats treating this can't be more that 1-5% of that vs his claim that UCLA has said "we don't know what it is but if you pay us a million bucks we'll fix it"

  42. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    EEkk...

    Well I for one welcome our new huge testicle possessing overlords.

  43. Lord Lien
    Coat

    Randy Marshes....

    ... long lost cousin after some weed?

    (Just incase you did not get that reference, South Park S14 E03)

  44. timepassman
    Thumb Up

    better go to india !! it will be way cheaper than badass US

  45. Lamont Cranston

    I'm surprised that Golden Palace aren't offering up the cash

    in return for tatooing their brand on the offending organ. Or did they go bust?

  46. Malmesbury

    NHS

    ...was in the Conservative Manifesto for 1945. The NHS was planned under the wartime Conservative led coalition.

    There were two structures suggested in the original reports. One was to nationalise everything. The second was universal health insurance, with some government facilities - the model that most of the rest of the present day first world uses.

    Labour went for plan A. The Conservatives were going to go for plan B.

  47. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    It's not the size of the testicles it's what you do with them.

  48. illiad

    LINK to PIC & vid!!!

    Look closer at the article... you see that colored text??

    damed newbs...

  49. Blubster
    Coat

    On the plus side

    He could paint his ball-bag orange and pass it off as a pumpkin to go trick or treating to raise the money.

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