back to article US military satellite to get attack-warning equipment

A US military satellite is to be fitted with equipment which will enable it to detect hostile action and inform ground controllers what's going on, according to reports. US military graphic showing catalogued objects in Earth orbit In space, nobody can hear your victim scream ... yet Lieutenant General Ellen Pawlikowski of …

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  1. Frank Bitterlich
    Coat

    Self Awareness?

    SASSA = "Self-awareness ..."

    "Thermostellar Bomb #20 to Sgt. Pinback: You are false data. Therefore I shall ignore you."

    1. Paul Crawford Silver badge

      "And I saw that I was alone. Let there be light."

      !!!

  2. Red Bren
    Pirate

    Who will verify this?

    What is to stop Uncle Sam giving one of their end-of-life satellites the self-destruct command and then claiming it was <insert bogeyman of the moment> who attacked it?

    Sounds like a great excuse to invade^H^H^H^H^H^H liberate somewhere without spilling too much oil^H^H^H blood!

    1. DryBones
      Mushroom

      Errrr....

      Because it would be monumentally stupid. MONUMENTALLY. The Chinese are STILL given the stinkeye for their weapons test, which amounted to "we can accelerate the formation of a satellite shredding field around the planet'.

  3. Pete 2 Silver badge

    Mars attacks

    > to establish clearly who is behind them

    and if the threat is found to be extraterrestrial (either in reality, or due to faulty software/sensors) we'll no doubt have our first interplanetary war. I expect the people behind the pork are just itching for an enemy that will let them open up such a lucrative source of everlasting FUD. Especially if the only evidence of the "threat" comes from their own systems.

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Stop annoying people

    If the US didn't make a habit of pi**ing just about everybody off they wouldn't need to go to these lengths.

  5. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

    What stock markets hate ... a high roller they have no information on because of NSL

    "it is usually only worth doing if one can be sure that nobody will be sure who did it (or even sure that any action took place, perhaps)."

    Ideally is it so.... and most probably certainly is somewhere for someone.:-) Spying and nobbling satellites has moved on leaps and bounds in the very recent past and shows no signs of abating.

    In fact, it is an extremely lucrative and sophisticated business.

    1. IsJustabloke Silver badge
      Facepalm

      do change the record....

  6. Mystic Megabyte Silver badge
    Unhappy

    Is there any space left, in space?

    1. SteveK

      I think it's the real reason there's been no recent manned missions anywhere - would take too long to find a gap between the satellites and spacejunk to actually get outside the geostationary orbit zone without undue risk of collisions. A bit like trying to fight for the last parking space on a Saturday evening.

  7. Bounty

    Yes, really it's installed, I swear.

    Adding equipment to a satellite that will probably never be useful is not a good way to spend money. Of course, as a deterrent, saying this technology is on there is probably sufficient..

    1. asdf Silver badge
      Joke

      or perhaps

      If you were the Soviets you would keep your ultimate deterrent secret until your next communist congress ala Dr. Strangelove.

  8. Rick Brasche

    do the birds have a keyfob remote too?

    "chirp chirp"!

    and the ghetto wailing as these things are set off by ET punks bumping them on purpose to set off the alarms.

  9. Glenn Charles

    tracking capabilities

    To at least an extent these were available to the U.S. military and other U.S. organizations at least by 1975.

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