back to article Irishman's coke-packed abdomen poses for police

Brazilian cops have released an impressive scan of the abdomen of an Irish chap who attempted to board a plane in São Paulo earlier this week packing 830g of cocaine. Scan showing bags of cocaine inside Irishman's abdomen The stash of Bolivian marching powder was packed into 72 "bags", which in turn were stuffed into the guts …

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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    It'll take more than one pint of Guinness

    to shift that lot

  2. g e

    P. B. O'B. surely?

    Paddy Brendan O'Brien ?

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Well I'm no expert - only ever did a couple of party lines in my life. However I can do some basic maths. Assuming that you start with a quite pure substance and then cut it up 50/50 with milk/washing/baking powder that will give you 1660g. If you distribute yourself you can find people willing to pay as much as £50 per gram so 1660*50 =£83,000 or approx €95,000. I don't get it to 150k unless you cut it up more.

    I did know a girl who was "dating" a dealer, who I'm told, got pretty pure stuff. 2g for £30 - guess it depends on who you know and how big your cut is.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      It's always been rumoured that the best people to deal to were coppers because they have no clue how much to pay for gear..

    2. nyelvmark
      Meh

      You're miscalculating...

      It was the police who said 830g, right? You forgot to include the amount that disappeared between the seizure and the weighing.

      I'd imagine the average Guinness-drinker's stomach could hold 2-3 kg without too much discomfort.

      But on the other hand, I've heard that the Brazilian police are the best that money can buy.

    3. Sorry that handle is already taken. Silver badge

      £50? Luxury!

      The Australian Federal Police recently quoted a value for a captured shipment that works out to ~$750/gram

      Either there's a shortage in this country or we're simply being screwed on imported goods as usual.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        That sounds about right

        after the local boys in blue have cut it down to a third of its actual strength.

        And cops know street prices very accurately, how else do they value their cut of the proceedings?

  4. Studley

    Is that 197 MilliJubs of coke in your pocket

    Or are you just pl.... oh no, it actually *is* coke.

  5. DAN*tastik
    IT Angle

    I.T. angle!

    He nose ajax!

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    150,000? maybe not

    well at £50 GBP per gram that makes £41,500 as is

    if it's strong stuff and gets "jumped on" by even as much as 50%(doubtful) then that's still only 62,250 GBP or

    62,250.00 GBP = 98,323.67 USD

    you would need 1875(ish) grams at £50 per gram to make 150,000 dollars

    so he's have to cut it with more than he has........

    i always doubt police arithmetic when it comes to drugs...

    they seem to OVERLY estimate it every single fucking time

    anonymously posted for obvious reasons

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      You need to see The Guard

      The point of police overestimation for cocaine prices is hilariously discussed.

      1. brym

        Re: The Guard

        http://www.traileraddict.com/clip/the-guard/street-value

        Great film!

  7. DT

    the worst generation game ever

    poopy bag of coke, poopy bag of coke, lemmywinks, poopy bag of coke, cuddly toy, poopy bag of coke...

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    He only did it to avoid paying the 'Coke Smuggler' surcharge on Ryanair

  9. Vladimir Plouzhnikov

    Alien?

    Don't think the guy is human because he seems to have a stomack and intestines that take up most of his body. It looks as if he can even use his lungs to complement his digestive tract...

    Either that or it's all a photoshop hoax.

    1. Henry 4
      Facepalm

      This looks shopped

      I can tell from some of the pixels and from seeing quite a few shops in my time. Just to clarify, where did you get your medical degree? Bognor Regis Polytechnic?

    2. Steven Jones

      Concur

      I'd agree - those images look like a complete fake to me. Quite apart from the rather wide-spread displacement of all these capsules (in the liver?) can scanners really produce images which so clearly show cocaine capsules without even a shadow of any organs? Indeed there's pretty much nothing but drugs and skeleton shown.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      According to bodybrowser.googlelabs.com the top of the image cuts off just above the liver. The empty ribcage space on the left of the image is taken up (mostly) by liver, not lungs.

  10. david 12 Bronze badge

    Wholesale

    Why do they always quote retail prices for drugs (and other stuff) seized at the wholesale level?

    It's not like you could actually get 150,000 for 830g: you have to pay the distribution channel as well.

    It's like pretending that farmers get supermarked (bread) prices for wheat.

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Better Bulk Buy The Bog Paper

    He's going to be sat there for a very long time dumping that lot.

    1. Version 1.0 Silver badge

      Maybe they're including VAT

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I'm curious as to the mechanics of the insertion process and how long it took. Is the fastest way to stuff an intestine to stuff it from both ends? Or did they use back door only?

    Intestinal wall is delicate, in some parts comparable to wet paper in tensile strength. At least one medical professional with a retractor must have been involved.

  13. Winkypop Silver badge
    FAIL

    An eejit and his cocaine....

    ....are soon parted.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      > An eejit and his cocaine.... → # ....are soon parted.

      You meant "farted", no? Sorry, couldn't resist.

  14. emmanuel goldstein

    It's an *underestimate*

    by the time you unwrap that gram in the pub bog, you can consider yourself lucky if it contains even 0.2g pure cocaine.

    so, if he imports 830g pure, it is easily worth 150k. but no one person would trouser that amount, it's spread through the various layers of lowlife en route to you in the dirty cubicle. which probably doesn't even have a handy flat surface.

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Totally not shopped.

    Apparently the drug mules swallow chunks of raw meat for months to allow them to do this.

    Aaand... the next TSA security measure is going to be.... compulsory laxatives for all passengers so that they can "flush out" mules and terrorists with internally concealed explosives/alkali metals/bioweapons/toxins/etc.

    AC

  16. Henry Wertz 1 Gold badge

    Must agree, looks fake...

    Agree with Steven Jones etc. about these looking fake. Was he cut open and packets inserted into his body? They are not even vaguely following the outline of the gastrointestinal tract. Plus, I also have my doubts that the machinery could isolate this from organs.

    I must say, it seems like this guy was kind of an idiot. I don't know what the breakage rate is on these bags, but it is non-zero. This is a hell of a lot of bags to carry at once considering that.

    -----------

    Why do they quote retail? Because it sounds more impressive for some copper to claim they found $3 million in "narcotics" than $500,000. (Or in this case, EUR150,000 for about EUR50,000 in nose candy.)

  17. Robert E A Harvey

    >not even vaguely following the outline of the gastrointestinal tract

    I was worried about that, as well as the clarity of the pics and the absence of even an outline of other organs.

  18. Xenobyte

    Instead of wasting money on trials and similar, just issue one very hard punch to the stomach and let nature takes its course. I mean, the bozo put the drugs in there himself so if they cause him to die, it's his own fault, and - well good riddance!

  19. johnwerneken

    More like $30,000.00 USD. But as much as a million if you sell it AT RETAIL which would doubtless get you busted.

  20. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Wow, a lot of medical professionals aboard today!

    Nothing particularly fake about the images, volume rendered CT with density limits set to pick up bone and the cocaine packets. And nothing wrong with the anatomy of the GI tract either. Look it up. Or go to med school.

    I did.

    1. Tim

      Curious

      So did he eat them then, or were they shoved up his back passage, or were they inserted surgically? It looks like a *lot* and he looks like he's completely full. Is this the case?

  21. bag o' spanners
    Devil

    One hefty fart and the plane would be decompressing pretty rapidly.

  22. ian 22

    Shirley

    Those are potatoes!

  23. Lamont Cranston
    Unhappy

    This is much less glamorous

    than the 1980s led me to believe.

  24. Ross R

    Perfectly Believable

    "Maria Full of Grace" is a rather educational film, especially the extras. Goes into intimate detail about this type of drug smuggling. Not for those with a week stomach. Some of the cast have even been involved in the industry.

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0390221/

  25. Marvin O'Gravel Balloon Face

    He should've listened to the warning of fellow Irishman Ardal O'Hanlon:

    "Condoms are useless and ineffective. And they burst!

    Your stomach just can't cope with the sudden impact of two kilos of cocaine"

  26. Fred Mbogo
    Devil

    Wanna get rid of drugs?

    Legalize them. Tax them. Let capitalism kill the massive profits and many of the problems will take care of themselves.

    1. ian 22

      Is that true though? As I recall, the empire (British) addicted millions of Chinese to opium, to great profit. Please elucidate.

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