back to article Court bans man called Peter from calling himself Peter

A man called Peter has been banned from using the name "Peter" on the internet as a bail condition after being charged today with unauthorised use of a computer. Peter David Gibson, 22, from Hartlepool, was among three men and one unnamed 17-year-old charged at the City of Westminster Magistrates Court this morning for …

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  1. SuperTim
    FAIL

    Peter?

    So calling himself by his own name will encourage him to reoffend by being anonymous?

    *facepalm

  2. Matt Bryant Silver badge
    Joke

    Can't use the name "Peter"?

    Maybe the judge just threw that one in for the lulz.....

    1. Titus Technophobe
      Thumb Up

      ...... lulz

      They should bring back the stocks for these idiots. Kind of hard to DDOS a web site when chained up in the local town square and covered in rotting veg.

      1. TheItCat
        Joke

        no it isn;t...

        There's an app for that

      2. Intractable Potsherd Silver badge
        Thumb Down

        But, Titus ...

        ... he has been bailed after being *charged" with the offences. He has not yet been found guilty of anything, so he is innocent, by dint of the Rule of Law. You cannot seriously be suggesting that innocent people should be tortured merely because they are suspected of doing things - we passed that stage several hundred years ago.

        1. Titus Technophobe

          @Intractable Potsherd

          Indeed I stand corrected, if convicted they should bring back the stocks for these sort of folks. Tempting as it is to suggest this as a cheaper mechanism for remand than custody, I guess that would be a bit inhuman.

    2. Stuart 22
      Coat

      To prevent re-offending ...

      Gonna make credit card online purchases difficult. Unless he can lay his hands on a non-Peter piece of plastic.

      1. Simon Harris Silver badge
        WTF?

        credit cards

        Since the group claimed responsibility for DDoS attacks on Mastercard and Visa, he might not be in their best books anyway!

        But am I missing something here - calling your group Anonymous but using your real name online? - what's that all about?

  3. melt

    str_to_lulz()

    Does it also cover 'p3t3r'?

    1. Sir Runcible Spoon Silver badge

      Sir

      For Pete's sake, wtf?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        FAIL

        Even I understood it ...

        And I'm old and well out of touch :)

  4. Anonymous Coward
    WTF?

    clear as a badges backside

    > Not to use the internet using the name "Peter".

    What the hell does that mean? Is his mom not allowed to call him by his first name when he's sat at a computer? If Amazon send him email starting "Dear Peter," is he screwed? If his email address is peter.gibson@gmail.com can he not sign in?

    Not_Peter

  5. G C M Roberts
    Coat

    Epic

    That's his Google+ a/c stuffed then...

    Mine's the coat with the hastily scribbled over name badge on it

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Epic

      Not necessarily... Google is happy if you use a name you a known as, not just what it has on your passport, so "Pete" is probably fine, and in my book that doesn't string match "Peter".

  6. nowster
    Coat

    Obvious!

    It's to stop him being a rePeter offender.

    1. JudeKay (Written by Reg staff)

      Re: Obvious!

      For Pete's sake ...

    2. sT0rNG b4R3 duRiD
      Thumb Up

      LOL@Nowster

      Best comment posted here so far.

      1. Steve Evans
        Coat

        *phew*

        So glad all those terrible jokes seem to have petered out.

    3. Armando 123

      Hey

      Quit being so salty </obscure>

    4. DrXym Silver badge

      Change his name to Petre

      I'm sure Stella Artois will sponsor his bail. They can ply him with enough cidre that he can't be arsed to touch a computre.

  7. Platelet
    Coat

    The men and the unnamed minor

    Shouldn't that be "The men and the anonymous minor"?

    1. TeeCee Gold badge
      Childcatcher

      Re: The men and the unnamed minor

      Peterphilia?

  8. ScaredyCat
    Holmes

    The title is required, and must contain badgers and/or bacon.

    "The hacker formerly known as Peter"

  9. Daniel Garcia 2
    Big Brother

    The right to use you own legal name

    can be overthrown by a court???

    sounds Kafkaesque.

    1. John McCallum
      Devil

      Legal Name

      Yes they can especialy if your name is Ronald McDonald no not that annoying prat the one I'm thinkung about is or was an Ironmonger in Scotland.Inverness I think.

    2. Armando 123

      Yes it can

      I tried to join the musicians' union with my own name but they wouldn't let me because a famous (non-musician) performer at the time had the same name, and the local judge backed them up. So I tried to register as "Ringo Starr", arguing that he was a drummer, not a musician.

      Some people have no sense of humor.

  10. Dave 15

    See, all those that thought judges were ill informed drunk tossers were wrong

    Clearly wrong, this judge clearly has his finger right on the pulse.... which pulse I'm not sure

    1. Loyal Commenter Silver badge
      Coat

      @Dave15

      Err, it's a chick pea I think

  11. Olafthemighty
    Happy

    I imagine

    The fuss will peter out soon enough.

  12. Pirate Dave
    Pirate

    eh...

    Peter, Peter, lulzsec reader,

    had no wife, nor any leader,

    Got locked up, but then made bail,

    Is he Peter? He can't tell.

  13. jai

    eh?

    you mean someone on the internet was actually using their real name and not an alias? what is the (virtual) world coming to??

    1. Danny 14 Silver badge
      Pint

      aha

      you see no-one had thought of that before.

      1. Armando 123

        Brilliant idea, hiding in plain sight. He probably got the idea from The Purloined Letter.

        That's a book.

        A book.

        You see, there are these things called "stories" that are printed on something called "paper" ... </fogydom>

        1. jonathan keith

          Book?

          That's like a Kindle, yeah?

  14. Owen Carter
    FAIL

    The reason given was "to prevent reoffending"

    So, not yet convicted but the Judge has already determined they might 're-offend'.

    Humm. Due process etc..

    It they are such a threat why not keep them on remand? I thought these were the international criminal cyberterrorist masterminds intent on destroying our way of life?

    Cant we at least show them who's boss by hitting them with a control order and maybe forcing them to move to somewhere without broadband? Or is that only for men with beards?

    1. Will 28

      Prevention

      You can prevent something without the assumption that the person is guilty of it. For example you can wear a condom to prevent contracting an STD, that doesn't mean you're accusing the person you're sleeping with of having one, just that you don't know for sure.

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Trollface

    Anonymous' real name is David

    as any fule kno

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      RE: Anonymous' real name is David

      ...and I thought it was Peter.

  16. David Neil
    WTF?

    re-offending

    Unless I am very much mistaken, he has been found guilty yet.

    How does that work?

    I get charged with a motoring offence, and at the first hearing I'm told I can't use a car, before a verdict is delivered?

    1. Marvin the Martian

      Computer says yes.

      Yes, when caught driving very drunk or at ridiculous speeds your driving licence gets taken in immediately. That's indeed before judgement.

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I'M PETER!

    And so's my wife!

  18. bombastic

    Eh?

    Surely allowing him to use his real name would quickly lead to detecting a re-offence? I mean there can't be that many Peters?

    Maybe it's a double bluff, he can now leave secret 'Peter was here' text files on hacked servers safe in the knowledge he'll never be suspected! Brilliant!

  19. Hatless Pemberty
    Headmaster

    Call me Ishmael

    Since Peter is nothing but a nickname he should surely go back to the real name of Simon.

    Peter, from the greek "πέτρα", meaning stone or rock.

    "And I say also unto thee, That thou art Peter, and upon this rock I will build my church; and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it." Matthew 16:18

    I guess my education wasn't entirely wasted!

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Coffee/keyboard

      I beg to differ ;0)

      See title

  20. TheRead
    Trollface

    Well that's just harsh!

    Now the poor guy won't be able to use Facebook at all!

  21. dotdavid
    Facepalm

    "not to participate in any internet relay action"

    Am I the only one that mentally put a "hot" in that sentence? Am I? Anyone?

    Oh ok then.

    1. sT0rNG b4R3 duRiD

      ^needs to get out more

      Srsly :P

    2. Boggwoppit
      Coat

      Internet Relay

      I thought Internet Relay was an Olympic sport

      1. Haku
        Coat

        Olympic sport

        Yes, it's part of the 1000ms PING event.

  22. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Shirley...

    ...both of these classify as some kind of human rights violation.

    1. Denying freedom of speech.

    2. I don't know what; but it's bound to be something.

    1. Danny 14 Silver badge
      Stop

      indeed

      I think the fact he was given a bail condition with the reason to prevent "reoffending" BEFORE he has been found guity is a bigger issue.

  23. Camilla Smythe

    Is your name not

    Bruce?

    1. Aussie Brusader
      Go

      RE: Is your name not Bruce?

      I think we're all down here in Oz....

  24. Levente Szileszky
    WTF?

    And I thought only we have these kind of idiot judges in very remote small towns...

    ...here in the US - but nope, apparently they are still alive overseas too.

    My condolences.

    <facepalm>

  25. Woza
    Joke

    Just change his name

    Not that big of a deal.

  26. Sir Barry
    Pint

    It's very early and I have a hangover

    He could just sign in as Tw@t....

    Beer = hair of the dog.

  27. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    Am I the only one who didnt' miss this.....

    His friggin name is Gibson....

    Hat, Coat... Check!

  28. Winkypop Silver badge
    Coat

    Maybe he's also a member of

    PETA ?

    Then again, he's silly but NOT mad.

  29. Purlieu

    Whatever next

    A judge overstepping his authority, who'd have thought it. I mean, applying sanctions to this guy before a verdict is delivered.

    Perhaps he should now refer to himself as Josef

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      HACK THE PLANET!

      "There is no right and wrong. There's only fun and boring."

    2. Anonymous Coward
      WTF?

      title

      Well explain to it me.. what the fuck are you going on about? Perhaps I am just half asleep still?

    3. Matt Bryant Silver badge
      FAIL

      RE: Whatever next

      "A judge overstepping his authority...." Wrong! The judge can set the terms of bail and, seeing as the accused is suspected of committing a cybercrime, the judge is well-within his remit to limit the chances that the accused will re-offend in a similar manner.

      ".....I mean, applying sanctions to this guy before a verdict is delivered....." Maybe you should go do some reading on bail conditions and the whole bail process before showing yourself up again.

  30. Boggwoppit
    Facepalm

    I'm sorry Dave you can not do that

    an unauthorised act in relation to a computer

  31. Anonymous Coward
    Facepalm

    No facebook for him

    That'll teach him

  32. mark 63 Silver badge
    Coat

    I'm Brian , and so's my wife!

    wont be using that google real names only thingy then

  33. Anonymous Coward
    Linux

    Internet Relay

    1) Not to be part of any internet relay and not to participate in any internet relay action.

    LOLWHUT?

    Im guessing they do mean Internet Relay CHAT but the internet is made up of "relays"

  34. PeterM42
    Unhappy

    You can call me anything...............

    ................................but DON'T call me Fred.

    PS: It wasn't me.

  35. Matt Bryant Silver badge
    Coat

    True punishment.

    If the judge really wanted to punish him, then he would have sentenced him to get out and talk to real people at least one hour a day. Mind you, that kind of shock to the average Anons' system would probably kill them!

    /off for a "team meeting" at the local!

  36. Intractable Potsherd Silver badge

    Serious question here.

    Is this condition even remotely enforceable? I mean, practically enforceable, rather than in the legal sense. I'm asking seriously, because I don't know and would like to learn.

  37. N2 Silver badge

    Just makes the judges

    look like a complete bunch of totally out of touch idiots

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Another legal question

      Is it the letter of the order that is enforceable or is it the intent... or is it both?

      I sure would like to know the answer to that question.

      I guess it would hardly matter though if it is the self same judge that gets to determine if the order was breached.

  38. Purlieu

    So Peter could

    ... wear a hoodie and dark glasses and then walk into an internet cafe in another town, say, erm, Telford, and then log into something as "Peter" and just how do law enforcement find out ?

  39. ScripterSi
    WTF?

    So....

    ...an alleged non-anonymous member of Anonymous is ordered to become anonymous (presumably within Anonymous and elsewhere) in order to prevent re-offending as an for a crime he has not yet been found guilty of while courts decide if if is in fact an Anonymous bloke who chose not to be anonymous or just some anonymous bloke who chose not to be in Anonymous?!?!?

    My brain hurts!

    1. ArmanX
      Facepalm

      It'll have to come OUT!

      ...And then you can apply for the position of Judge.

  40. Paul Hovnanian Silver badge

    Change his name ...

    ... to Spartacus.

  41. John Stirling
    Happy

    (non) anonymous

    Isn't the fact that he was known on the internet by his real name rather good circumstantial evidence that he isn't actually guilty?

    Surely the anon/lulz lot all have names like l33t h4x0r and sp00n 04 d00m and other cool stuff like that?

  42. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Dont tell them your name Pike^h^h^heter

    Don't tell them your name Pike^h^h^heter or you too will go on zee list.

    Posted Anon because it is zee law.

    --

    Dad's army if anybody missed the reference

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