back to article Fort Knox military cops disgusted with solar patrol carts

US military police stationed at Fort Knox, home among other things to the United States Bullion Depository, are reportedly none too pleased at having to patrol in rather feeble solar-powered electric golf carts in line with Pentagon efforts to be more environmentally friendly. The solar powered patrol vehicle employed by the …

COMMENTS

This topic is closed for new posts.
  1. Anonymous Coward
    Boffin

    How much did they cost?

    My bet, over $100k each.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Mushroom

      @AC 12:31 GMT

      Probably not quite as much. I'd rather be worried about the more than $300 bn worth of gold in the hand of the army...

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Devil

        Why?

        Capitol hill decided to pay their salaries after all. I would be worried if the credit ceiling negotiations actually fall through for real.

  2. mark 63 Silver badge
    Facepalm

    solar power?

    "That's not helpful," he notes, adding: "If you have to plug it in, it's really not that green, is it?"

    Nail on the fucking head there, Bob

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Stop

    Stop whining, you cry-babies!

    As my Mum used to say when I complained about something I thought made me look "un-cool", "Tough! Use it or go without, it's your choice!".

    1. Chad H.
      IT Angle

      Wrong

      A plug in cart can still be green - it depends where the grids leccy is coming from.

      1. peyton?

        In Kentucky

        It's mostly coal.

    2. Ralthor
      Thumb Up

      Downvoters?

      Sometimes I seriously wonder about people? Exactly which part of the truth in the above post do they object to? Upvoted to cancel out at least one of the tools.

  4. Graham Marsden
    Devil

    It could be worse...

    ... they could have been given Segways!

  5. Captain Caveman

    why....

    does this give me an image in my mind that the gold is being guarded by characters like "the Simpsons" Chief Wiggum...

    1. Captain Scarlet Silver badge
      Go

      Helmet solar panels

      Helmet solar panels could be the next big thing in fashion!

      1. Stratman
        WTF?

        title

        "Helmet solar panels could be the next big thing in fashion!"

        The mind boggles

        1. This post has been deleted by its author

        2. Goat Jam
          Headmaster

          Errrm

          http://news.anu.edu.au/?p=10551

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Devil

      I hope...

      ...the gaurd dogs have been sung off tune to for a loooooong time...good work boys!!!

  6. Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
    Paris Hilton

    Note to Auric Goldfinger

    Attack on a cloudy day.

    Paris, AKA Ms Galore

  7. Fab De Marco

    Army Green - Army Strong?

    Sound like something the Hulk would say.

    Top speed of 25mph, nice. What if they have to use it to carry a pallet of Gold from Here to there? What is the Top speed then?

  8. M7S
    Coat

    United States Mint Police

    Presumably, if there's a raid, none of then want to have the nickname "Polo"

  9. moonface
    Meh

    Gold

    Great! So the Federal government of the United States is going all 'environmentally friendly' by introducing this cart.

    So what about all the energy used to extract and refine that 5,000 tons of gold. Which apparently is roughly 2.5% of all the gold ever refined throughout human history. Just to store it in a building for 70+ years doing nothing. Citiziens aren't even allowed to view it, to see how shiny it is!

  10. Natalie Gritpants
    Thumb Up

    > United States Mint Police, who are equipped with bicycles

    They are also equipped with a handy army base complete with soldiers, guns and helicopters etc.

    I don't imagine they are going to have a problem with looters any time soon.

  11. Bob 18
    Angel

    Electric Bikes...

    I hope they have a big fence around the whole place.

    This week, I rode my electric bike into a golf course, and the guard started chasing me around in a golf cart. Very funny, comic in a way. The thing is... my electric bike, at 20mph, is a LOT faster than his electric golf cart. He never got close to me.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Citizens aren't allowed to view

      because it isn't really there - at least not the massive quantity purported to be there.

      well... that's what the alien mind-control rays tell me anyway. Really must get a new liner for me tin-foil hat.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Mushroom

      But....

      What about Pussy Galore's flying circus, with nerve gas equipped cessna's?

      Or as Sean Connery would say "Poosey"

      Made short work of them in Goldfinger (or not , thinking back)!

      1. laird cummings
        Mushroom

        MANPADS

        With an infantry division and an additional infantry combat team, not to mention an aviation regiment (read: Helicopters, including gunships), there is more than enough anti-air capacity on the base to turn Pussy Galore's friends and family into so much gold-plated airborn particulate matter (though that might lower the air quality some, and thus be considered 'not green').

        Really, now - If there's a serious problem, the MPs (not members of parliment!) can call on the services of a metric fuckton of Bradely IFVs. There are few high-speed pursuit problems that cannot be solved by a steady tradewind of cannon fire.

    3. laird cummings

      Sunk costs

      The extraction, refinement, and process costs are sunk costs, and no longer current. You may safely proceed to ignore them.

      'Teh shiny' isn't 'all that,' anyway. A visit to a typical gold souk is more interesting by far.

    4. laird cummings

      The gold don't move much

      And the military police would have no part of it, even if it *did* move - They mostly just write tickets and patrol fencelines.

      The gold just sits there in the vaults. Sometimes technical ownership of some portions of it changes hands, but the gold itself just collects dust.

    5. Herbert Meyer
      Black Helicopters

      but no tanks

      Well, not as many tanks, The armor school and the Patton Museum were moved to Georgia.

    6. phear46

      brilliant

      You my friend are a genius.

  12. ian 22

    5000 "tons"?

    Long tons? Short tons? Metric tons?

    How much is that in standard units (I.e. Elephants)?

  13. DrXym Silver badge

    And not forgetting

    You won't get pussy galore driving one of these things around

  14. IglooDude

    Hmmm

    Unlike most police, overmatched solar-kart-driving cops and bicycle-riding Mint Police can call on the 16th Cavalry Regiment and 194th Armored Brigade conveniently based nearby and probably more than willing to help chase down any serious gold thieves. They have vehicles of an entirely different sort of green.

    1. Natalie Gritpants

      It's approximately one Fort Knox

      See title.

    2. Blake St. Claire

      Let me google that for you

      From wikipedia: 4578 metric tons. (5046 tons, 147.2 million troy ounces.)

      Approximately 2.5% of all the gold ever refined throughout human history.

      Second in size to the Federal Reserve Bank of New York in Manhattan, which has 7000 metric tons. (7716 tons, 225.1 million troy ounces.)

      1. Tom 13

        Damn Pedants.

        comment or post needed here.

      2. 404 Silver badge

        Manhatten, huh?

        Didn't Hans' brother steal that in 'Live Free or Die"? w/Bruce Willis?

        ;)

  15. Patrick R
    Holmes

    Tip to make it lighter thus greener.

    You don't need a wind screen at 25 mph, sunglasses will do.

  16. Zog The Undeniable
    Happy

    Bob Knoll

    What's the betting his nickname is "Grassy"?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Happy

      Windscreen

      it's not to protect them from wind blast; it's to prevent decapitation by flying frisbee death hats.

    2. laird cummings

      wind screen

      It can get a bit frosty there. Enclosed cabins are recommended for winter patrols.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Facepalm

        Battery life

        And what is the expected battery life once you crank up the 'leccy heater for said enclosed cabin?

        1. laird cummings

          Never mind the heater

          Sun don't show so much in the winter.

          Figure that body heat alone will do the trick - so long as you can keep the warm from blowing away. That, plus a few flasks of hot coffee.

  17. disgruntled yank Silver badge

    Mint Police?

    The US Mints are in Denver and Philadelphia, and that I know of, the US hasn't minted gold in nearly a century. The Mint in Denver used to have rolls of less valuable metals stored in public view behind chain link topped with barbed wire. As i recall it, the property really didn't call for a bicycle to get around.

    1. Blake St. Claire
      FAIL

      You're forgetting San Fran and Westpoint

      The gold coins – Eagles – are minted at Westpoint.

    2. Tom 35 Silver badge

      Mint Police

      \what no Chocolate cops?

  18. Carl W

    25 mins?

    It doesn't seem to be beyond the wit of golf buggy manufacturers to make electric buggies that last for 4 hours+ rounds of golf. Are these ones weighed down by heavy weapons?

    1. Marcus Aurelius
      Devil

      25 mins is enough

      ..why do you need to go on for hours?

      Golfers buggies take long pauses between short drives in order to hit the balls, so they're not going at it continuously for 4 hours....

      I could go on, but Sarah Bee isn't around anymore to make a snarky comment about the innuendo... :-(

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Joke

    Can be used as a stretcher carrier?

    I'm looking at the pics, and the first thing I think is:

    "There's no way you'll fit the average american on the back of that..."

    On the plus side, I see the cabin is likely to be proofed against flying, decapitating hats.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Joke

      says the drop out from 'You are what you eat.'

      Yup, I'm joking too. Are you laughing?

    2. laird cummings

      "There's no way you'll fit the average american on the back of that..."

      Stretcher goes cross-wise.

      Really, they're more of an oversized ATV with extra crap strapped on, than a proper golfcart.

  20. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

    @25 mins

    They have to carry the weight of two US cops and have AC

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Parking in the sun...

    ... is it mandatory? Having your buns charred every time... Ohhh, that's why they want none of it.

    PS. I could use a car with eveready batteries... it keeps going, and going and going....

  22. James Woods

    im not worried

    there isn't gold at fort knox anyhow.

    how could a country as broke as ours have gold?

    they probably manufactured replica gold all stamped with iou's and stuck it in there.

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    yeah...

    It needs the wheel base widened by about a meter and the cab could stay the same size. Center of gravity is to high. Wonder if the cab panels are plastic and the frame Al?

    Though I can understand why they don't like it. It doesn't have any presence. If NASCAR can throw a plastic facsimile street car panel over their frames, the least they could do for these military guys is throw some Hummer looking shape to it and add a gun mount or two. Hire some Hollywood sci-fi/action-movie effects guys to come up with a kick-ass design.

  24. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
    Big Brother

    So why is there gold at fort knox?

    Isn't Bretton Woods down the toilet? Aren't we off the gold standard since Nixon needed to print money to wage the Vietnam war?

    Aren't these "federal assets" that could be sold off to make some much-needed paper money?

    Or are the playas in charge actually secretly aware that the greenback is not worth a continental and hoarding in anticipation of the crack-up boom?

  25. Joe User

    You want environmentally friendly?

    Use horses instead, with the fringe benefit of not having to mow the grass (or fertilize it, for that matter). Plus, riding a horse is a lot more dignified than farting around in a golf cart.

    1. laird cummings

      Wrong President.

      Nixon got us *out* of Vietnam - Kennedy and LBJ were the ones who got us into it.

      The gold doesn't *directly* prop-up the currency any longer, but it *IS* useful as collateral. Selling off your collateral is generally frowned upon.

  26. wayne 8
    Black Helicopters

    maybe tons of gold plated tungsten

    "(which is a large Army base as well as housing just over 5,000 tons of federal gold)"

    Should say "reportedly housing." No one from the outside has seen any of it in decades. Like the Federal Reserve's books.

    There is some question as to how JP Morgan is going to come up with Chavez's $10.6B in gold "held" in its vaults.

    Full faith and credit.

  27. elderlybloke
    Happy

    There is the Army

    They have had an Armored unit at Fort Knox, including Abraham Tanks , but the unit with all the Armored vehicles are be transferred to Fort Benning.

    The shift is well under way and there will soon be no Tanks at Fort Knox.

    The criminals / terrorists will be met with stiff resistance from the solar powered golf buggies, weather permitting.

    1. laird cummings

      Bradley IFVs

      Infantry divisions are loaded with 'em.

      Probably more useful than tanks anyway, for most purposes.

  28. Bernard M. Orwell Silver badge
    Big Brother

    Gold? What Gold?

    "Fort Knox (which is a large Army base as well as housing just over 5,000 tons of federal gold).."

    Can we get a citation on this?

    It appears that there may be far less or even no gold at all in Fort Knox. No audit has been carried out there since 1930 as the Federal Bank has refused all such inspections including a personal attempt by Pres. Nixon himself.

    The same is true of the Federal Reserve.

    It is also worth understanding at this point that the "Federal Bank" and "Federal Reserve" are not branches of the US Treasury or even subject to governmental oversight; they are in fact private corporations with about as much to do with government as "Federal Express" is, the only difference being that the Reserve can print their own money.

    Furthermore, it's been a long, long time since money represented any form of material wealth and instead represents debt. When I last looked, 1 in 7 dollars represented debt rather than product or wealth (ie, for every dollar in circulation there are $7 that are held "virtually" as debts) and that ratio was rapidly growing...

    http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/us_and_americas/article5989271.ece

    http://www.eutimes.net/2011/05/russia-says-imf-chief-jailed-for-discovering-all-us-gold-is-gone/

  29. s jackson

    Re vehicles at Mint

    I would have thought that the vehicles at the Mint drove Volkswagon Polos.

    1. Cameron Colley

      Perhaps Blue Motion ones (or whatever they're called)?

      To be more "green".

This topic is closed for new posts.

Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2019