back to article Dunkin' Donuts waitress offers additional dunkin'

A 29-year-old Dunkin' Donuts night shift waitress has been cuffed for offering clients a bit of additional dunkin', according to New Jersey's Daily Record. Melissa Redmond allegedly converted the fast food outlet on Route 46 outside NYC into a veritable knocking shop during her 9pm to 5am night shift, nipping to customers' …

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  1. BorkedAgain
    Joke

    Competing against Starbucks?

    ...no, I can't. I'll let someone else supply the one-letter-changed joke...

    1. Lester Haines (Written by Reg staff) Gold badge

      Re: Competing against Starbucks?

      I couldn't bring myself to do it either. I must be getting old...

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Competing against Starsucks

        There is two variations you can do with changing one letter. This is the more tame one :)

        1. sabba
          Facepalm

          Star ducks?

          Am I missing something?

        2. Anonymous John

          Or Starlucks

          I expect the punters felt lucky.

    2. Stratman

      Re: Competing against Starbucks?

      "No coffee beans were harmed in the making of this beverage"

    3. Uncle Slacky Silver badge
      Alert

      Idiocracy

      Starbucks evolving as per the above-mentioned film?

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Happy

      Anonymous tip?

      Detective Sergeant Kyle Schwarzmann explained how a concerned citizen blew the lid on the moonlighting hussy: "I had gotten an anonymous tip."

      I bet she had more than one.

      Sorry. No really, I am.

    5. Armando 123
      Thumb Up

      Hey, I get it

      Some days you prefer a challenge

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    "He went in plain clothes through the drive-thru window."

    I tell you something, those guys know how to pull of an undercover operation...wily!

    Mine's the one with the extra creamy coating in the pocket.

    1. sabba
      Joke

      "he went in through the drive-in window"

      That must have been a tight fit what with all them doughnuts!!

      1. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
        Coat

        It's a steak out!

        With fries.

        And what's with the US and their perpetual putting down of ANY entrepreneurial free-market activity?

        Then Obama goes out and say His Country will always be AAA.

        Like hell it will. Can't even get service.

        1. Elmer Phud Silver badge
          Holmes

          Eh?

          "And what's with the US and their perpetual putting down of ANY entrepreneurial free-market activity?

          Then Obama goes out and say His Country will always be AAA.

          Like hell it will. Can't even get service."

          I believe that both a 'troll' icon and a 'WTF?' icon are applicable here.

  3. Ken 16 Silver badge

    Have the police nothing better to do?

    Than hang around in Donut shops?

    My sympathy is with the employee (probably under paid) and with whoever got the next donut she handled.

    1. Tom 35 Silver badge

      six week investigation...

      They spent 6 weeks investigating this?

      So a J walker would take them about 3 weeks, and a armed robber about 9 years. How pathetic can you get?

      Sorry we don't have enough manpower to investigate your house getting broken into, wait did you say there is a donut shop across the street? Maybe we can give it a month or two.

      1. Eddy Ito Silver badge
        Devil

        6 weeks is quick

        Just consider the number of man hours they put in collecting evidence? Have you no compassion for the poor wives who had to put up with, "Sorry dear, don't hold dinner for me as I'm working late tonight on that darn donut case again. I've almost got it but I just need a little more evidence. Maybe I'll see you tomorrow if I can put this case to bed tonight... again."

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    I sure hope

    she doesn't get a job at krispy kreme

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Yummy...

      If she does go to work at Krispy Kreme, at least we know she can supply the glaze over and over again.

  5. BenDwire
    Alert

    I just hope she washed her hands afterwards .....

    </barf>

  6. LuMan
    WTF?

    No Picture??

    How do we know if she was worth the extra??

    Can't we at least have a Playmobil mock-up????

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Flame

    Great job guys!

    Now that you've solved the case of the "special cream filling" maybe can you move on to arresting *actual* criminals like murderers and rapists?

    Or did all the real crime in New Jersey go away when I wasn't looking?

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Joke

    Hmmm

    Couldn't you just stick your winkle through the hole in a donut for a much cheaper price?

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Never happens in Argos

    The only 'interesting' thing to happen to me whist calcifying in the foyer of Argos, waiting for a knuckle-dragging Neanderthal to go and find my item from a stockroom shelf, get curious as to what it is, open it and play for a while, then bung it randomly back in the box before throwing it down a hole in the floor to smash on the ground of the shop floor, from where another Neanderthal scoops it up in a dustpan & brush, pours the remains into a bag and then hands it to me, before telling me I have to queue up at the till to complain and get a refund.... is a drug dealer offering me his wares.

    You have to respect the initiative and marketing prowess of a man clearly able to identify a bored captive audience looking for something to restore the life draining from their heavy eyes.

    I'm surprised there aren't more 'shoppers' lurking in the Argos foyer and making 'polite' conversation with the lonely-looking male punters whilst dressed like Lady Gaga.

    1. Captain TickTock
      Unhappy

      I didn't see that...

      in the new Autumn/Winter catalogue...

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Pint

      Dealers

      All my usual dealers have went AWOL recently.. I think I'll take a stroll down Argos in the morning then...

      Actually, make that late afternoon....

    3. Elmer Phud Silver badge
      Headmaster

      Oi!

      "The only 'interesting' thing to happen to me whist calcifying in the foyer of Argos, waiting for a knuckle-dragging Neanderthal to go and find my item from a stockroom shelf, get curious as to what it is, open it and play for a while, then bung it randomly back in the box before throwing it down a hole in the floor to smash on the ground of the shop floor, from where another Neanderthal scoops it up in a dustpan & brush, pours the remains into a bag and then hands it to me, before telling me I have to queue up at the till to complain and get a refund.... is a drug dealer offering me his wares."

      Now, I can't remember which comedian came out with this on telly but can you please put it in quotes next time - ta.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Oi

        I write my own comments, making them up as I type.

    4. foo_bar_baz
      Coat

      Mandatory

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ggOa9aSG-Ow

      ... whenever Argos is mentioned

    5. Lamont Cranston

      Seems a bit harsh.

      I've never had anything less than excellent service in Argos.

      No, not that sort of "service".

  10. Chad H.

    Donut shop?

    Doesn't seem Tobermory the smartest place in the world to offer illegal activites

    ...Unless the boys in blue get a cut

  11. CarlC
    Joke

    Hmmm Cops and Donuts

    I wonder if she would have got away with it if she had worked at a health food outlet.......

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Stop

    Oh jesus..

    Where the fuck have all the holes in the doughnuts being coming from??

    Equally worrying is the "Kreme" sauce.......

    For what its worth, i had the misfortune to taste this shit in the Trafford centre outlet.

    First time, last time...

    Rank.....

    1. hplasm Silver badge
      Coat

      A couple of days off...

      when jam filled...

      I have my coat...I'm gone!

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    ta

    for this piece of levity today.

    Mine's a glazed ring.

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Health issues

    So, people who have eaten so many tonnes of donoughts that they are now too fat to get out of their cars and have to "drive through".... right. "Certainly Sir, you can have 15 minutes of 'extra sugar' with your lard, shall I call the ambulance now?".

  15. Anonymous Coward
    IT Angle

    REDMOND ENSURES CUSTOMERS ARE FULLY SATISFIED

    could have been a confusing headline?

  16. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

    Brings a whole new meaning to

    Do you want to supersize that?

  17. NoneSuch
    Joke

    So you can...

    ...have your cake and get eaten too.

    Someone had to say it.

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I've always wondered why it was illegal in the first place

    Every reason I come up with is to prevent crimes that are already illegal. All of which would be easier to investigate and prevent if the victims were a little more willing to come forward. Its legal in Nevada and the state hasn't gone to hell in a hand basket.

    1. sisk Silver badge

      Religious influence in the law

      It's illegal for the same reason that you can't buy alcohol in Sunday in some places (like here). Someone decided that it's immoral and therefore should be illegal. If you think about it you'll realize that that's true for most victimless crimes.

    2. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
      Headmaster

      You know that!

      1) It is illegal in Iowa to dismember a corpse in order to hide a crime.

      2) With Caylee's Law (i.e. the anti-Casey-Anthony law), it will be illegal to NOT call police if you haven't seen your brat for 48h and he/she turns up dead afterwards.

      It's like a series of Monty Python's Flying Circus, only more real.

    3. Captain TickTock
      Joke

      That's because...

      ... the Mormon's have baptised them all from across the state line

      1. Magnus_Pym
        Happy

        Prostitution is not illegal in the UK

        I wonder what crime she would be changed with here. Perhaps riding a motor vehicle without a seatbelt.

        1. Loyal Commenter Silver badge
          Coat

          @Not illegal

          Indeed. I believe soliciting is, so she might get done for that. She'd more likely just get the sack. No pun intended. Oh alright, yes it was...

  19. Graham Marsden
    Paris Hilton

    Probably...

    .. her mistake was not offering the officer a freebie...

  20. Evil Weevil
    Joke

    To celebrate the success of the investigation....

    .....they went and bought celebratory Doughnuts !!!

  21. Michael Habel Silver badge
    Joke

    In the immortal words of Pauly Shore...

    It's time to gl-ze the Dough-nuts....

  22. Lance 3

    Amazing

    Cops love donuts and that was not the place to pull that.

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Linux

    Operation Extra Sugar

    They never said if it was brown sugar or white.

  24. Eden

    I would dunk that!

    http://2media.nowpublic.net/images//a5/e7/a5e7f200035593210118259600801c52.jpg

    A rather poor shot of her FB photo

  25. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    Who on earth?

    ...would pay money just to play patty-cake?

  26. George Nacht
    Happy

    Lengthy investigation and criminalization aside...

    ... "Operation Extra Sugar" wins my personal Best Codename Ever Award. Equally hilarious as "Operation Beaver Cage" and "Operation Grizzly Forced Entry", but without disconcerting undertones.

    On the other hand... low level employees in fast food industry making a few bucks aside... police doing a sting operation...hardly a news, I´d say.

    And my condolence to "concerned citizen" who tipped the cops off. I pray for you, mister, to find one day a joy and purpose in the life, which was apparently both taken away from you a long, long time ago...

  27. This post has been deleted by its author

  28. Mister_C
    Coat

    If you want to find all the cops

    They're hanging out in the donut shops

    She can't say she wasn't warned...

  29. Gannon (J.) Dick
    Paris Hilton

    But, but ...

    The IPO Prospectus said they were coming into their own. I'm confused.

  30. kain preacher Silver badge

    Hot Coffee

    GTA any one ? I'm surprised the the cops in NJ gave damn .

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