back to article Parmo v poutine: Your cut-out-and-keep pdf guide

So popular did our recent parmo versus poutine post-pub nosh deathmatch prove that we received a veritable banquet of emails demanding we make the recipe guides genuinely cut-out-and-keep. No problemo, and you can help yourselves to servings of parmo and poutine in a handy pdf format here and here (Both 8.76451 petagig PDFs. …


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  1. Stormn


    From a Canadian of French heritage - Your poutine will be much better (IMO) if you put the curd on the fries first and then pour on the gravy. Beautifully soft gooey cheesey goodness!

    If you want a real treat post-pub add a scoop of cole slaw to the top. I'm not kidding and you have to try it to believe it.

    1. Lester Haines (Written by Reg staff) Gold badge

      Re: Poutine

      I know. I insulted the Canadians about the band Rush a few years back, and now I've screwed up their national dish. I expect blokes with sealskin coats and baseball bats at my door any minute now...

      1. Montreal Sean

        @Lester: You've insulted us Canucks again!

        As a Canuckistani, and native of Montreal Quebec...

        We don't beat people with bats, we use hockey sticks!

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    as a veggie with a stunningly healthy diet

    ... that parmo looks fucking lush.


    Take issue with your chips though, summat's not right with them, underdone by the looks.

    1. Lester Haines (Written by Reg staff) Gold badge

      Re: as a veggie with a stunningly healthy diet

      Hey, don't diss my boy's chips, man. He is the chipmeister in this house, and big up rispek is due for that, innit?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        MC chips

        you get me, bruv?

        cuz MC used to toast, innit


        anon from sarf London

        1. Lester Haines (Written by Reg staff) Gold badge

          Re: MC chips

          Ahem, that's saaaaarf London, bruv.

          1. Isendel Steel


            Saaarf Lunnon....

  3. Poor Coco
    Thumb Up

    It’s official...

    ...the proper type of gravy for poutine is awesomesauce.

  4. Mike Richards Silver badge

    Half sheep's head please

    in a viking deathmatch against the almighty surströmming sandwich.

    with chips.

    1. CD001


      That would quite probably be a literal deathmatch if any non-Scandinavians were involved...

  5. NoneSuch
    Thumb Up

    Curds first, gravy second...

    And for a true French Canadian Poutine get the Frommage Beaucronne cheese curds that squeak when you squeeze them. If they don't they are not fresh.

  6. Anonymous Coward

    After the 10th pint

    I was absolutely laminated.

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Post Pub?

    My local is opposite an indian takeaway (and next to a newsagents, forming a pretty good drinking trifecta). My local also has liberal views on the consumption of food not purchased on the premises, they'll even lend you the cutlery with which to consume it.

    I trust medical science is making progress with body transplants, yeah?

  8. Spot the Cat

    I remember...

    1. Deep fried battered mushrooms, chips and a pickled onion or two, but it was a long time ago and that chippy is long gone now. Sadly.

    2. Fried hogs pudding, egg and chips. Lovely!

  9. Anonymous Coward


    Quick! Patent it fast before Delia gets a sniff! Its a classic already nom nom ;)

    1. Field Marshal Von Krakenfart

      Too late....

      apple have already taken out a patent on it

  10. Mallie99


    Mmmmm Parmo... Tho i prefer the chicken variant!

  11. DF118


    Replace the curds with coleslaw and we'll talk.

  12. Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
    Paris Hilton

    Best Chips.

    Par boil (or even microwave) your Pommes de terre, fronch because this is Haute cuisine – right, slice and deep fry (let them cool first), best way to get crispy chips that are soft and fluffy inside.

    Also has the advantage that you can prepare the Pommes de terre before you go to the imbibing emporium and cook them quickly after you perambulate towards your abode in an inebriated state.

    Paris, soft and fluffy and doesn’t need beer goggles

  13. dogged

    Isn't "parvo" a virus that dogs get?

    And how do I stop reading that as "poitín", possibly the very thing to drink after drinking?

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    designated fryer

    My preference is to buy the post-pub early-death meal-deal ready-made from the nearest all-nite take-away establishment (usually involves chilli sawwce, as it happens). This is for two reasons:

    I'm extremely lazy and, maybe more significantly,

    Pissed-up people, fryng pans or ovens in general don't mix well in my experience. If you're lucky, it's just the eyebrows/ashes/fringe that get totalled but not necessarily - flat or terraced house dwellers may also want to reflect on the third-party implications of that for a moment.

    So, unless there's a house mate/guest who's the designated fryer and has opted to remain sober (and why /on earth/ would there be?), this whole intoxicant-fuelled cookery masterclass thing is a recipe for disaster (geddit).

    That's enough hyphens - it's Pub o'clock. Cheers.

  15. hplasm Silver badge

    Who knew...

    you can laminate kebabs!

    Probably keep forever, kept warm by entropy from the heat death of the Universe..

    Go Friday!

  16. stuartnz
    Thumb Up

    Compact file size

    8.76451 petagig PDFs - so only half the size of Adobe Reader, then?

  17. nanchatte

    After ten pints

    I often can't wait and have to laminate against a fence somewhere on the way home.

  18. Another One

    Try a kapsalon...

    In The Netherlands we have the infamous "Kapsalon" - it's even got it's own English wikipage:

    One of those after a night out - or even before, during AND after - can't be beat.

    1. Lamont Cranston

      I do like how Kapsalon and kebabs

      are served covered in salad - are the consumers in denial, or something?

      "Look, lettuce, that's healthy!"

  19. Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge

    Sounds like mr Creosote would like these

    Put it all in a bucket, and have another bucket on stand by.

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