back to article History's first papal tweet launches Vatican website

His Holiness, Pope Benedict XVI, has tweeted history's first papal tweet. With the touch of a finger – not, however, the one adorned with the Annulus Piscatoris – the Bishop of Rome tapped an iPad to tweet to the world that the Vatican's online news service, News.va, has launched. Pope Benedict XVI's tweet announcing the …

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  1. El Zorro

    Another means to transmit the word of god

    "just going to the shops to buy more toilet papper. LOL"

    1. Marky W
      Devil

      Tweet No. 2

      "we're sorry about the children"

      Fat. Fucking. Chance. Never has an icon been more appropriate.

  2. Richard Cassidy
    Headmaster

    RCV

    (Ridet clara voce.)

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Not fully tech aware yet...

    ... they don't have a PayPal button.

    Should start with a special offer too: "pay one sin, get one free".

    1. mittfh
      Joke

      Roll up, roll up...

      Buy your indulgences here! Then perhaps during Lent and Advent, they can start doing BOGOFs - Buy One (indulgence), Get One Free!

      Bet they haven't got (or published) a child protection policy yet...

  4. Tim Spence
    Joke

    Stop mentioning 'papal'...

    ...I keep reading the headline and wondering what the hell the Vatican has to do with an online payment system.

  5. Mahou Saru

    hang on....

    isn't the iPad magical? therefore isn't a bad thing (tm) for the pope to be fondling?

  6. TeeCee Gold badge
    Alert

    Hmm....

    ....he didn't say he's still Catholic.

    Could be a day for some really weird shit to happen.

  7. This post has been deleted by its author

  8. Pete 2

    Who's marketing whom?

    > the Bishop of Rome tapped an iPad

    So is this God giving Apple his (or her) blessing, or is it Apple sponsoring God

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Devil

    He explains to the pope

    This blank space is where our massive flash banner would be if we were using something else...

  10. bombastic
    Trollface

    Holy crap

    @God I can't wait to see what the imaginary sky daddy tweets back!

    I guess as the prayers aint working they have to resort to technology and science.

    It'll help in socialising with small boys if nothing else.

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Trollface

    OK, that's enough

    The Pope having been a member of the Hitler Youth? He probably didn't have much choice. The Magdalene Houses? Just about understandable. Rampant paedophilia being covered up? Men are weak. But tweeting? The Catholic Church are undoubtedly the epitome of evil and must be destroyed.

    (Joking, of course. It's using the iPad that makes them evil.)

  12. Tony Paulazzo
    Mushroom

    Title

    A whole city devoted to God with golden statues galore, the richest landowners ever. I'm so glad there's no starving people in the world they could be helping with all those riches - and they have an ipad. The reality distortion field is spreading.

  13. Some Beggar
    FAIL

    Jehovah uses Google+

    [the word]

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Happy

    Evangelical Athiests

    I see you are all out in force.

    Don't worry, I will pray for you all.

    1. Some Beggar
      Angel

      @anonymous theist

      That's very generous and thoughtful of you.

      I will do some science for you in return. Perhaps one day we can meet up for a nice cup of tea and discuss whose actions had an effect on the world.

      But might I ask why you are being so coy and hiding behind an anonymous post?

      "And he said unto them, Go ye into all the world, and preach the gospel to every creature."

    2. The Fuzzy Wotnot
      Thumb Up

      Nah you're alright there.

      When you prove beyond doubt it actually has any effect then I'll pay attention, until then you stay on your side of the fence, me on mine.

      When religious leaders preach about doing the right thing by their deity for those less fortunate they then horde all the cash and goodies for themselves, the morals I was taught by my atheist parents come screaming to the surface and tell me that's just plain wrong.

  15. Graham Bartlett

    @AC

    Pray all you want - that's your choice. But if there's a God, and prayers influence its decision-making, then by definition it ain't an omniscient supreme being. And a vastly-rich organisation that believes they'll get more rewards from God by following doctrinal rules than by living a good life - go figure.

    1. peyton?
      Angel

      not really

      I know what people want but don't act till they ask all the time - it is possible to know something (and/or everything) and not act on it.

  16. Marcus Aurelius

    Fiat Lux

    I would have thought the first tweet would have some more memorable wording; its a bit bland. How about:

    "Fiat lux! The word of God now spreads as fast as light - I am pleased to announce the launch of news.va. I hope it will be Pope-ular!"

    Any other suggestions?

  17. Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge

    At least they are up to speed with some things in the world

    It's not in Latin, after all.

  18. philbo
    Angel

    Second Papal tweet:

    Now I iz really down wit da kidz LOL OMG ROFL, Benedictus XVI #pimp_ma_pope

  19. philbo

    ..to the tune of Rockin' Robin:

    He sits in the Vatican, Holy Dad:

    Rappin' and a-tappin' on his Apple iPad

    All the little Cath'lics think it's oh, so neat

    Love to read the Pontiff go tweet tweet tweet

    [Chorus:]

    Tweetin' pontiff, tweet tweet

    Tweetin' pontiff

    Pope Benny XVI

    Is a-sending out a tweet tonight

  20. Tony Paulazzo
    Alien

    Title

    To those knocking the religious offer of prayer. I'm pretty sure that New Science tm posits that thought can manipulate external forces, ergo, prayer being directed thought, could totally work on some level. Reality is now stranger than fiction.

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