Neigh! Neigh! And thrice neigh!
The hard cases among you who subscribe to the "I'll drink anything, me" school are directed to the Green Man Pub in Wellington, which is serving up shots of apple-infused horse semen. The tempting equine oyster concoction - dubbed Hoihoi tatea - forms part of the NZ boozer's entry into the 14th annual Monteith's Beer & Wild …
That poor stallion needs to get cut, as he's obviously not worthy of breeding. If he was, he'd be making a lot more money ...
By way of explanation, our main stallion, an 18 year old with a good track record, sells for US$3500 per mail-order cryo-packed AI application. We offer up to ten repeat applications for proven brood mares, or until they produce, whichever comes first. It's 4500 for room & board if your mare needs to visit us for "live cover" (he doesn't travel anymore), which is required for some equine disciplines. Our youngster (his grandson, 8 years old) is USD$1750 & 2500 ... as will be our two-year-old (great great grandson) if/when we deem him ready.
15 bucks a shot is silly, at best ... the cost of harvesting the stuff, plus keeping it fresh long enough to get it "to market" would be close to ten times that price. Gut feeling is that they are selling tapioca to idiots who don't know any better ;-)
Cool. If you're willing to sign a contract, I'll pay you twice that ... $30 per collection ... if you like. The mandatory vet charges twice that, and the two helpers adds another $60 to the total, and that's just for the collection. Should be good for a giggle, and maybe I'll finally have something worth posting to YouTube.
 Safety first ... Keeps insurance rates low.
 I pay my field hands well ... I want to keep 'em!
 That's sarcasm ... There is no way I'd put my horses in the hands of a rookie.
...feel-good hormones in semen. The purpose is to enhance pair bonding. This reinforces/explains the street knowledge that a girl will be yours forever if you are her first.
"[semen contains] two female sex hormones, and many mood-elevating compounds: endorphins, estrone, prolactin, oxytocin, thyrotrpin-releasing hormone, and serotonin."
Human semen contains hormones that in the human female promote retention of calcium in the bones. So gals, don't be a bent and pain-wracked old lady, suck your man off every day! Act now for an active old age!
Paris, you look after yourself sweetie, make sure you get yours every day.
Co-owner Steve Drummond said massive worldwide interest in the virile vials has meant he is now ordering stock in litres.
"We've got it coming in bulk now," Drummond said.
"We've got a hundred shot glasses coming today, but that's all going to go tonight. I'll be ordering in another three litres in early next week too, by the look of it."
Drummond was not concerned about stocks running out from the stallions supplying the liquid.
"I guess they would get fatigued like anyone would, but I believe they have a reasonably large reservoir of the stuff."
...with the horse-equivalent of a real-doll.
My mum's first job was at an AI (and I don't mean in the IT sense) facility. She was only doing secretarial work, but still copped a lot of inuendo from city-raised friends (her family, beind 3rd gen. farmers didn't see what the fuss was.about).
What really happened: Hot bird comes in and orders the stuff. Bartender goes out back and knocks one off, and then somewhat sated in ardour, serves her the result and even gets paid for it.
No.. this is NZ isn't it?
What really really happened: Bartender goes out back and grabs a sheep....
.... to see the girls "come onto me then" after the mood changing shots and all the hormones that go with it.
If they were to employ lasses to do the jerking, they might as well get it directly from the horse's ...th.
Who would visit the pub then?
Now, wheres the technology angle?
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