back to article Cornish cow plucked from jaws of death by Navy chopper

A Cornish cow, trapped on steep cliffs near Port Isaac, was hoisted to safety recently slung beneath a Royal Navy rescue helicopter. A cow being rescued by 771 Naval Air Squadron. Credit: Crown Copyright/MoD 2011 West-country whirlybird flying cattle action. Had the naval copter not been called in by the RSPCA, the trapped …

COMMENTS

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  1. Chris Seiter
    WTF?

    how did it get there?

    -lowered down to where the cow had become trapped with assistance from the Port Isaac Cliff Rescue Team-

    Did they put the cow there in the first place?

  2. Tegne
    Flame

    How sweet.

    Now is the RSPCA or owner of the cow going to pay for the cost of that rescue operation?

    1. Chad H.

      Well

      Some animals are famous for their ability to ascend stairs but are unable to decend them; could be a similar principle.

      This is often exploited by prank loving teens

      1. Chris Seiter

        familiar sounding

        I have an ex-wife like that; also of the bovine family. And again, who also has been exploited by many of the townsfolk around here.

        1. Hollerith 1
          Flame

          all the proof you need...

          ...as to why she is your ex-wife, you coarse little twerp.

    2. John Miles

      re: paying

      I believe that this sort of thing is regarded as training - as the pilots need to keep certain number of flying hours a month to remain at useful skill levels and rescue operations reflect the soft of job they may have to do in the field. It is going to cost whether they rescue the cow or have to practise moving cargo

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Is this a coincidence?

      Isn't the navy just reacting the well known story from One of Us (Yes, Prime Minister)? What kind of yet another cock-up is this supposed to cover...

    4. Anonymous Coward
      FAIL

      All the usual crap about paying for rescue services

      Assumes that

      a) the armed forces had better things to do

      b) that the rescue mission is not superior to any training *excercise*

      and

      c) shows a lack of basic human decency.

      1. Just Thinking

        I take your point, but...

        They are also adopting the responsibilities of an emergency service. Military exercises are presumably planned and budgeted. If some prat climbs a mountain in t-shirt and trainers, with a storm on the way, and breaks his leg, the RAF have to go fetch him whatever.

        I am not saying someone should be left to die just because they made a stupid decision, I am just saying that rescuing them isn't necessarily free. The RAF might already have rescued as many people as they need to this month, thanks.

        As for human decency, to rescue a person, yes. To rescue a cow ... depends, beef or dairy.

        1. alwarming
          Holmes

          "Military exercises are presumably planned and budgeted."

          In house Regression test suites Vs Real world customer scenario.

          Ring a bell ?

    5. Anonymous Coward
      Mushroom

      Commas

      The Reg is bringing out a white paper.

      Until then, we just have to understand this stuff as best we can!

    6. Olafthemighty
      Pint

      @ Chris

      Damn you, sir, for beating me to that one by a scant 3 huors and 20 minutes. That'll teach me to be busy at work.

      <-- Have one on me.

  3. lansalot

    ouch

    He's due a leathering for that one...

    1. Chad H.

      Indeed

      But now you're just milking it for all it's worth,.,

      1. d.barry

        Come on..

        Cow jokes? How udderly pathetic

  4. ant 2
    Stop

    lucky cow

    but this is a sensible use of our taxes why?

    1. Joefish
      Devil

      Cost/Benefits - how much does a cow fetch at market?

      Next time, send for a rifleman and a field chef.

    2. Peter Simpson 1
      Black Helicopters

      Training mission

      Next time, it might be a human. Good to know the pilot has some experience pulling loads off cliff faces.

    3. Amazon Wageslave
      Pint

      why not?

      The RN and RAF search and rescue units exist to deal with military emergencies- plane crashes and so on. It makes sense for them to aid civvies when the crews would otherwise be doing training flights. A bit of extra live practice for the crews, civvies get help. We'd be paying the running costs of the whirlybirds anyway.

      Beer, for the crew. Good job fellas.

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Thumb Down

      Training

      These crews would be out training anyway, moving dummy loads from A to B or rescuing dummies from the sea if they weren't performing services such as this. Arguably this is a much better use of the fuel than a pure training exercise.

    5. Dan Likes Spoons
      Angel

      Why not?

      Look at it as a training exercise then, Mr Grumpy.

    6. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: lucky cow

      In case that was a serious question: because it provides a much valuable training opportunity, while at the same time doing a service of benefit to the local economy. Also because not everything is about money.

      How would you feel if it'd been your cow anyway... don't know if you have any of them in Tunbridge Wells.

    7. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Not very sensible...

      ...but very human. Hrah.

      I'd rather the tax was wasted on rescuing a cow than on some MOD war mongering toys

  5. Mr Brush
    Trollface

    Fishheads in Bovine rescue drama

    Didn't read the article because it has Mr Page's name at the top. However, I would imagine that it goes something like, "Well done the Navy (who are much better at flying than everyone else). Obviously the RAF couldn't never do this because the Typhoon is shit."

    1. NukEvil
      Flame

      ding!

      Didn't read the comment I'm obviously replying to because it has Mr Brush's name at the side. However, I would imagine that it goes something like, "I'm an idiot with a predisposition to prejudice and xenophobia. Obviously I can't be bothered to not waste everyone else's time with my existence because I am shit."

      Where's the troll icon? Eh, forget it; I'll use the flame.

    2. Dale 3
      Go

      Typhoon

      I think it would have been quite entertaining to witness a Typhoon attempting this job. Surprising for the cow, but entertaining for everyone else.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Joke

      Actually....

      He says that had it been a US cow, it would have been nimbler, cheaper and wouldnt have gotten stuck in the first place :)

    4. BoldMan
      Trollface

      eh?

      Why do you bother coming here is you don't bother reading the articles?

    5. Anonymous Coward
      Trollface

      Nuclear Cow

      You missed that, then?

      Actually, I seldom stop to notice the author unless an article is particularly annoying, utterly incomprehensible, or very funny

    6. Telecide
      WTF?

      Fishheads???

      Not the Fleet Air Arm - WAFU's if you don't mind. Fishheads are general service.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Black Helicopters

    Practice

    good practice for collecting loads from difficult locations elsewhere in the world. i.e. Afghanistan.

    I thought that was the only reason the Navy/RAF are doing Air Sea Rescue and it has not been "outsourced" - it;s such good practice for the pilots

    Black (well red and grey) helicopters obviously.

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Navy..

    Good job, if it was the RAF the cow may of out mooeuvred them.. ( http://m.theregister.co.uk/2011/06/08/eurofighter_beaten_by_f16/ )

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Trollface

    >"could not escape by any other means"

    Someone could have climbed down there and slapped a parachute on its back, then just give it a good hefty shove!

  9. Camilla Smythe

    Safe at last...

    "Minutes later the unfortunate beast had been hoisted clear and deposited in a nearby field unharmed next door to the Ginster Pasties Factory."

    http://www.theregister.co.uk/2011/02/23/cornish_pasties/

    http://forums.theregister.co.uk/forum/1/2011/02/23/cornish_pasties/

  10. Mr_Pitiful
    FAIL

    That's not a Cornish Cow

    Have you been to Camborne lately!!!

  11. Havin_it

    Ace of Clubs?

    What's that all about then? Just curious....

    1. Chris_999
      Devil

      Ace of Clubs?

      Don't know the history, but each of the Navy SAR Sea kings at Culdrose has a different ace on it. Just a bit of squadron tradition I expect. I visited them on a POAC course many years ago and they had nicknamed one "Damien" as it had had to ditch in the sea three times!

    2. MJI Silver badge

      They wanted some easy identifiers

      And another squadron got the diamond first

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Ace of Clubs? - what's that all about?

    Obvious init - they are part of the crack Navy 3 Card Monte Display Team.

  13. Ian Stephenson Silver badge

    Guess the WAFU's were not quite so WAFU this time.

    There is no F in way.

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Facepalm

    Lucky

    Lucky the weather was clear otherwise that cow would be fresian.

  15. reitton
    Childcatcher

    How did it get there you ask?

    Catapult

  16. This post has been deleted by its author

  17. David_H
    Happy

    Exercise for the sake of it

    In other parts of the country the local Cave Rescue voulenteers do this for free as

    (a) valuable practice

    (b) goodwill with the local farmers over whose fields the cavers tramp

    There was a funny tale of a call-out to recover a dead bull from a cave in Yorkshire, so that the insurance company rep could examine it to check that it was dead before paying the farmer. What the farmer neglected to tell the CRO was that the bull had been dead for two weeks! They brought out a few 'trophy' pieces (head and legs) to convince the insurance rep. much to his and their disgust.

  18. Outcast
    Devil

    Cows with Guns ?

    Ok.. So instead of becoming fish food it gets to become (several) burgers.

  19. El Richard Thomas

    Two birds, one stone

    If they'd got a bit closer with the chopper they could have turned it into minced beef in situ.

  20. andy gibson
    Happy

    Re-live the experience yourself:

    by picking up the cow in the game Rockface Rescue!

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/drama/rockface/game/main.swf

  21. Graham Bartlett
    Pint

    Friday song time

    Daisy, Daisy, give me your halter do

    I must be crazy for trying to rescue you

    They said you were out of luck

    When we first found you stuck

    But you'll be alright if we just take a flight

    On a cargo net made for two

  22. Russ.T.Starfish
    Black Helicopters

    see body....

    Lieutenant Commander Chris 'Damage' Canning, though he confessed that his people were "more used to underslinging fuel, food, water or vehicles".

    Would a cow not be all three, just not simultaneously..... (Ok liquid, rather than "water").

  23. Dog@86G
    Meh

    Trains don't stop Camborne Thursdays

    So they have to get a Jelly-whopper in to do the job instead.

    Notice the author doesn't slate Westland products in this article, this Brit Kit works, oh noes FAIL its a modification of a Sikorsky design. Still no abject lies in this article

  24. Steven Roper
    Mushroom

    To those complaining about this being a waste of taxes

    I sincerely hope, next time you need other human beings to help you or your loved ones, that they leave you all to die and rot in the gutter where you belong, after all why should they pay to help mean-spirited shits like you? You selfish bastards. People like you are why this world is a steaming pile of shit. Look up the words "generosity", "altruism" and "humanity" sometime. They all represent something you deserve nothing of.

    I have this delightful image in my head of someone like Tegne or ant 2 collapsing on a busy street with a heart attack while dozens of people stand around watching, mobile phones held high. Karma's a bitch, arsewipes.

  25. TeeCee Gold badge
    Coat

    Oh dear.

    Beef's going up again.....

  26. Anonymous Coward
    Happy

    (mis)steaks were made

    OM,. NOM, NOM, NOM

  27. Mark York 3 Silver badge
    Mushroom

    Ginsters - Urgh!

    Ginsters give me gut rot every time - As an Ex-Pat I'd kill for a supply of Ivor Dewdney pasties (Sidwell St shop).

  28. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    Spoiler alert

    Looking at that picture, and the comments about the RAF purchase decision, reminded me of the Latest Batman feature film, with him being flown away from a building, carrying an unwilling crime witness (to say the least). It was a cargo plane, but it could be done by any aircraft capable of pulling the load.

    Good job anyways. Good dairy, er, daily practice for the pilots.

  29. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "Hello? RNAS Culdrose?"

    "That cow you just picked up off the cliff and dropped in my field..."

    "Yes?"

    "Should have been in the field over the road. Can you send the chopper back tomorrow?"

  30. Samshadar
    Thumb Up

    Cow Transport

    Apparently there's some who do it on a regular basis...

    Extract from: http://www.swisshelicopter.ch/flights/transport/?lang=en

    Transport flights: Contadino

    During summer on the alps, cattle also belong to the circle of «patients» who need to be transported by helicopter. Mountain farmers receive free assistance from the air if one of their animals is injured, sick or dead. The cattle are recovered by air from remote ravines or mountain sides. Such missions are also carried out on behalf of the Rega.

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