back to article Lock up your lungs, here comes Grimsvotn

Experts are warning those of a delicate pulmonary disposition to brace for the fallout from Icelandic volcano Grimsvotn, due to descend on Blighty tomorrow. The BBC says the British Lung Foundation and Asthma UK have issued a lung Defcon 4, or thereabouts, ahead of the anticipated alien ash invasion. The British Lung …


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  1. Dan Paul

    Defcon 4 for Impending loss of Summer, not just Asthma!

    Since we are suffering under the Summer of 2011 that wasn't here in Upstate NY, the recent volcanic eruption will only compound our woes. We have had record rainfall and floods while other locations in the South have had some of the most severe weather ever with mile wide tornados and massive property loss and huge casualties.

    Look for more to come, mini-ice age notwithsanding! Can we have a Volcano Icon yet?

    1. Denarius

      sounds familiar

      @Dan Back when I was a a mere whippersnapper, and the dinosaurs of the USSR and USA set off atomic stuff on the Earths surface, say early 1960s, this sort of rain and cold weather happened all the time. It was them atomic bombs they said. Given the biggest of the Soviet bombs size, mildly believable at least once.

      Now it is climate change. Odd, I thought it was merely climate with the usual 50+ yearly cycles. But then, no excuse for privatising extra taxes on the peasants then, is there ?

    2. Michael Dunn

      Loss of summer?

      And here in Crete (Greece - not Texas) it is still raining at the end of May!

      Yeah, it's a raincoat - specially imported for this year.

  2. JakeyC


    Yeah, and watch out for Grimsvotn-induced Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis while you're at it.


  3. Mike Richards

    The only people breathing easy

    Are the news outlets who only have to deal with Grímsvötn rather than eighteen syllables sounding like a Viking falling down a flight of stairs. Set your videos for when Þeistareykjarbunga next blows its top.

    1. Marketing Hack Silver badge
      Black Helicopters


      Did you get that from Mary Poppins? I suppose she has time to chat with us ground-bound types now that British airspace is about to be closed again!

      Black helicopter, because rumor has it that Mary has upgraded from her old umbrella.

  4. advocate

    A plague of ash upon both your houses....

    And to think you said the rapture didn't happen!

    1. Elmer Phud

      This is just the start!

      Tornados, volcanoes, El Nina - is this the start of the punishment? Mother Nature and God(s) joining forces to give the wasters and unbelievers one hel of a bitch-slap?

      No, it's just normal, these damned humans seem to think they're special.

      1. Anonymous Coward

        El Nina?

        Is that the cross-dressing phase of ENSO?

  5. Rob 5
    Paris Hilton

    Dr Keith Prowse

    The ticket agency?

  6. GrahamT
    Thumb Up


    I do hope that makes the next edition of the OED.

  7. Pascal Monett Silver badge

    alien ash invasion ?

    Isn't all this ash from a purely terrestrial source, or is there something you're not telling us ?

    1. Marketing Hack Silver badge



      Here's something to wash it down with....

      1. Yag


        Grimsvoten, Grimbergen, all the same :)

  8. Damien Thorn


    Its natures way of punishing them for not paying back our money they kept, what he/she/it is doing is slowly melting them and sending the land to the EU via airmail. See even nature has a sense of ironic justice.

    At least if your a farmer in scotland, volcanic ash is brilliant for soil.

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