back to article El Reg iPhone app rated a flaccid 12+

It won't have escaped your notice that Vulture Central has unleashed a veritable shedload of mobile apps to deliver The Register to a range of devices, including one for the Jesus Phone and iPad. Well, we at the Bootnotes bureau were horrified to learn the latter is "Rated 12+ for the following: Infrequent/Mild Alcohol, …


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  1. Anonymous Coward


    Finally I've found a place to put it!

  2. Code Monkey
    Thumb Up

    Do the apps get comments?

    We can always help drive up the rating. You shitters.

    1. Turtle_Fan

      Alas, no... (or not yet)

      Well, at its current incarnation (using on Android) there's no option to post comments.

      What's more frustrating though is that you can't even see the comments either....

      For me, comments are 50% of the reason I hang out here....

      (Insert *Let try this again* icon)

      1. frank ly Silver badge


        I read articles using the RSS feed via Google Reader, hence reading them in the browser, and the comments show just fine that way.

        Posted (slowly) from my Wildfire running 2.2.

        1. A. Nervosa


          I've long since noticed that the comments sections tend to provide more accurate and relevant information than the actual articles, not to mention the occasional slanging match.

          Please build comments into the app.

      2. This post has been deleted by its author

      3. Steve Evans

        What? No comments?

        Epic fail... Back to RSS feed.

    2. <user />


      I agree, we need comments - comments are what makes the articles what they are.

      Shame, nice app otherwise. Please add comments so I have no reason to use the mobile site.

      Could someone fix the annoying issue with video's embedded in articles on the mobile site too - this causes the Jesus phone to break the page - or at least it does for me.

      1. Drewc (Written by Reg staff) Gold badge

        Re: title has comments.

  3. Martin 76

    Only 3.5 inch available?

    Shame they don't have a 2.5inch version available, snugger fit and all....

  4. NoneSuch


    ...someone trying to get MORE porn rather than less...


  5. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up


    * Infrequent/Mild Alcohol, Tobacco, Drug Use or References to these

    * Infrequent/Mild Sexual Content or Nudity

    * Infrequent/Mild Profanity or Crude Humour

    Those are features if you ask me. Where's the * Infrequent/Mild playmobil re-enactions of carnality?

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Infrequent/Mild Profanity or Crude Humour

    Oh dear, only mild and infrequent? We must try harder.

  7. Adze

    It's a... box.

    Nothing to see here! Move along...

  8. Select * From Handle
    Thumb Up

    rated 12+ on iphone lol

    i just got the app on my blackberry, i wasn't aware of any age needed for that.

    i also don't see how its a 12+ when you cant see the constant (Microsoft Users Vs Apple Fanboi Vs Linux Penguin Vs Opera Lords) comment wars, it can get pretty brutal...

  9. earlyjester

    you have apps? see a doctor

    It did escape my attention, so thanks to your reporting of a bad rating I know have the android app, thanks

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Infrequesnt / mild profanity or crude humour?

    How do they classify frequent/strong profanity or crude humour?

    Is it just pages of comments that are either the words "fuck" and "cunt" repeated hundreds of times or acres of really crude jokes that either start "there was a young man from Nantucket" or end in "12 inch pianist"?

    El Reg commentards, I am disappointed in you all. I forgive you, but still.....

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Mobile Apps

    Yes, yes, very good. Now how about a mobile version of your web page so we don't need those stupid apps? (while the regular web page does work **, a mobile-optimised version would be preferrable).

    ** I don't know if it's a problem at your end, my end, or Opera's middle bit, but Opera on iOS won't load the comments for any article (something about a Bad Request). And it's been that way for as long as I can recall.

  12. Anonymous Coward

    Is this a chance to request...

    ...that the articles contain more profanity?

    I'm sick of having to translate your articles using PorkJerky ( to get them to an acceptable level....

    1. Shaun 1

      Mobile website

    2. Kevin Saunders

      Er, there is..

      A mobile version of the website.. Http:// if memory serves..

      1. Anonymous Coward

        Mobile URL

        Thanks for that.


        Silly me - here I was expecting to be automatically re-directed to it like it was a simple task for the web server to do....

        (El Reg's BOFH must be too busy with his latest white paper on cattle-prod efficiency)


        Needs more badgers.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        "Bad Request" Update

        I was getting the following error whenever I tried to access the comments section of an article:

        Bad Request

        Your browser sent a request that this server could not understand.

        Apache/2.2.16 (Debian) Server at Port 80

        I fixed the issue by deleting my cookies. As I feared, the problem was at my end....!

    3. Andy 68


      +1 for my favourite limerick

    4. SuccessCase

      That's fortunate

      You can avoid the obligatory comment from an Opera user that nobody else is interested in or cares about.

  13. DZ-Jay


    I like the look and function of it. I only have a few comments so far: There's no scroll thingy. How am I supposed to know how much more do I have to reach the bottom? It just seems to scroll forever... until it stops.

    Then, can you allow customization of the button bar? I don't generally read "Hardware" (except for when I do), and I rather have "Sods and Ends" or "Bootnotes" in there.

    And finally, what, no comments? What's the point, then? :)

    Cheers, and... Yay, Friday!


    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      at least you get to read the articles

      I get "unable to establish connection with server" across wifi, and cellular networks (O2)

  14. Keir Snelling
    Thumb Down

    No mobile reg shenanigans for me

    This app is not supported on your handset or carrier.

    I have a Blackberry Torch on O2.

    Oh well.

    Yes, I do know I can read it in the device browser.

    I'm beginning to wonder whether me and el reg are destined to never get together properly when mobile. My crackberry replaced a Nokia E71, I used to use opera mini as my main browser on that. It would work OK, until I tried to read the comments, where it always reported a protocol error.

  15. Fred Flintstone Gold badge
    Thumb Up

    OK, I'll write a protest note

    I would be quite funny to see how they would react to a complaint to UP the rating instead of lowering it :-).


    1. Shaun 1

      None for me either

      No WP7 app

  16. Shaun 1

    "It won't have escaped your notice"

    Yes it did, I don't have an iphone

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    Only 3.5 Inch...

    That accounts for the French name...

  18. The Unexpected Bill
    Paris Hilton

    This is a title (first time I've done that!)

    That'll be the Paris Hilton angle revealed at last!

    Yes, I'll get my coat. Thanks.

  19. Anonymous Coward

    Wait for the police the spot the comments section...

    The won't believe the number of cocks they see in here!

  20. Dabooka Silver badge


    First Impressiins are good, but cant link into Twitter as described. Anyone had any joy? Is it the app or User Error?!

    Cheers chaps!

  21. Phil A.

    Why no comments?

    Come on, El Reg - this app is pretty much useless without the ability to even see story comments (never mind add new ones). Until that's sorted, I'll stick with, thank you

  22. This post has been deleted by its author

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Down


    Amazon Fixed it, Party Poopers!

  24. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Fail wins for two reasons. First, you can see and post comments.

    Secondly, it works. The app doesn't work at all from my home network (some message about "firewall settings"). None of the other 169 apps I've got have this problem.

  25. Getter lvl70 Druid Silver badge

    Shouting profanities while naked...

    ... I found that I must wear shorts or jeans while shouting profanities because this fucking HP G62 laptop gets fucking hot and there's one tiny fucking screw that gets superfuckingheated and will put little fucking pinhole-sized burns on your right leg.

    Impracticable to say the least. Must wait until the Asus TF101 price drops or Amazon comes out with that Kindle tablet some are wishing for (me too).


  26. Charley 1

    I am 12

    and what is this?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      This is not the place for you

      This forum is full of pedantics.

      Go visit instead, where it's safe and all the cool little kids hang out. Check out the /b/ board.

      1. Anonymous Coward

        Re: Pedantics

        It's "pedants" thank you very much!

        And yes, we are everywhere and nowhere. Always looking but never seeing. In the shadows holding the light. We are Anonym^H^H^H^H^H^HPedants.

  27. SplitBrain

    Your App Is Rubbish Anyway....

    It's a completely useless app:

    1 - Need an active data connection, cannot read offline. The BBC news app does a good job of downloading all text on app startup, so I can read all stories on the tube (minus pics, not that that matters), why can't the reg app do the same or similar?

    2 - As with others, no comments, it's what makes the reg the reg...

    I deleted it within 2 mins when I realised it's useless without active data, might as well just use a browser and go to the full site! Get comments that way to.

    If and when you sort #1 I will reinstall it on my iphone.

    1. H dotNET
      Thumb Up

      At last....

      ....someone spotted the bigger fail.

      A news app is not really an app if it can't download stories for off line. As such its a bit half baked, you might as well use the mobile site. Guardian/BBC apps are great for this and I use them all the time as a result.

      Other than that I find it works smoothly and intuitively on my gayPhone 4...

      Comments? I think less important. Funny that everyone moaning about the lack of comments are those that, um, comment. Ergo those that don't give a monkeys won't.

    2. Anonymous Coward

      I agree

      Also, why on earth did you bother making an app but not include higher res iPad graphics. The 2x zoom resolution just looks shite

  28. Arctic fox

    Well the "m.theregister" works fully for comments on HTC's........

    .......stock browser at any rate. Doesn't in Opera mobile for some reason, just get that error message others have referred to. Never mind, the "Sense" browser is perfectly adequate for following El Reg mob. Yay! Now I can post from the bus - God, when did I become a geek? Are there support groups where you can get help? "My name is Arctic Fox and I am........."

    Posted from my desire z (at last)

  29. bugalugs

    George Carlin to the rescue



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