back to article 164XXX jubs shake Middle England

The Sun has got itself into a right tizz over the 164XXX jubs of one Chelsea Charms (link NSFW), whose humungous Bulgarian airbags were thrust into the faces of innocent kiddies yesterday on ITV's This Morning. Chelsea Charms. Pic from This Morning Facebook page The offending chesticles - dubbed Itsy and Bitsy by "big breast …

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  1. JB
    Unhappy

    Ridiculous!

    I like to think of myself as a breast man, but these look ridiculous. And what's she going to look like when she's 80??

    As for This Morning, if we toned everything down in case children are watching, we may as well just switch off the TV transmitters right now. It really irks me the way that what we see (or don't) on TV is dictated by whether some self-appointed moral guardian's kids might be within 100m of a TV!

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      what's she going to look like when she's 80??

      Given that it has all been stitched on, hopefully she'll be able to afford to have it removed.

      1. Mycho Silver badge

        Polypropylene

        Aren't polypropylene implants the ones that absorb body fluids and so keep growing indefinitely?

        So yeah, when she's 80...

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Thumb Down

          Polypropylene

          So, not so much breasts as giant cysts. Ewwwww.

          1. Mycho Silver badge

            As a general rule

            As a rule, the larger a breast implant is, the more unpleasant it is. We haven't even got to the sounds made by the ones consisting of really big bags of salt water. Would you really want to press your face against one and hear it go slosh?

    2. ph0b0s

      Can't belive I am saying this, but....

      "As for This Morning, if we toned everything down in case children are watching, we may as well just switch off the TV transmitters right now."

      ... there is such a thing as a watershed though, were parents should have some confidence in stuff being child safe before then, certainly at that time of the morning....

      But then again since the show was probably followed by Jeremy Kyle with a load of chav's swearing about their infidelity and sexual antics, I think that ship has already sallied...

  2. Antony Shepherd
    WTF?

    What a boob!

    "My son was off school sick today and he was disgusted"

    What, is he more a fan of what they call the "delicious flat chest"?

    1. Naughtyhorse
      Happy

      yup

      so disgusted he locked himself away in his room _all day_ and wouldnt come out

      1. LaeMing Silver badge
        Go

        She knows he was upset.

        He went through a whole box of tissues.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Frankly...

      This is enough to put the most hot-blooded heterosexual boy off breasts for life!

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    "My son was off school sick today and he was disgusted"....

    ....yeah right!!

    1. Charlie Clark Silver badge

      Educational opportunity?

      Obviously missed by Mrs Nowtraged.

      Is The Sun guilty of double standards, again? No, 'cos titillation and outrage about one and the same thing is perfectly fine as long as it's out of the sight of the children.

      Bulgarian airbags icon required.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Coat

      or his parents will be...

      unhappy when he comes out... :D

    3. Shane Orahilly
      Headmaster

      re: "My son was off sick...."

      Of course, it's not the media's fault.

      The kid should be in bed recovering and doing some home study if capable, not watching the telly.

      I blame the parents...

  4. Joe K
    WTF?

    Yikes.

    I thought that pic of her going around Twitter the other day was a bad photoshop.

    Further investigation shows that every single photo of her looks like a bad photoshop.

    Money well spent then.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Paris Hilton

      poor excuse...

      so, you spend the day trawling though photos of large breasted women all day in the name of "research"to see if they all look like bad photoshop jobs !!

  5. Cameron Colley

    While I agree it's her body and her business.

    I'd hardly call having two enormous bags of plastic implanted under your skin "breasts". I also find them an odd thing for anyone to take enough interest in to interview the woman -- well, apart from a psychiatrist perhaps.

  6. 7mark7
    Thumb Down

    The doctors who did that ...

    ... should be struck off.

    1. LaeMing Silver badge
      Unhappy

      The civilisation

      that encourages that, should be struck down.

  7. Erroneous Howard

    The title is required, and must contain letters and/or digits.

    "Some people think I'm a freak"

    Change "Some" for "Practically all" and you're just about there. Give me a real pair any day, big or small they'd still be far more attractive than these sideshow attractions.

  8. John Robson Silver badge

    No...

    Just, no.

    I do hope that she has to pay for corrections to the spinal deformity she is undoubtedly cultivating.

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Dead Vulture

    A Moment of Silence

    So El Reg is covering The Sun covering ITV now.

    It seems to have gone unnoticed by all media that Fukushima's Reactor Number One is actually in meltdown, worse than at any time previously, Surely that's worth discussing, at least compared to this.

    /sarcasm

    Or not?

    Someone page Page.

    1. Shane Orahilly

      Is there much to discuss?

      Even if the fuel has fallen to the bottom of the vessel, it's still cooling down. Nobody's died. Not much more to say about it, is there?

      As far as unnoticed, the BBC have reported it, but it's not headline news any more, what with the imminent lack of nuclear winter.

      http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-pacific-13374153

  10. Nick Haw

    Oh no....

    Won't someone please think of the children....

  11. Aaron Em

    Freak? Nah

    I just hope they're worth what she paid for them.

    1. LaeMing Silver badge
      Boffin

      Technically, yeah.

      That is what the word "freak" means, both statistically and in the circus-performance world. (Which isn't to judge: as she says - it is her body.... Then again, it is our eyes!)

  12. Test Man
    WTF?

    @Paula Rogowski

    Somehow I don't think your son was actually disgusted!

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Joke

    "My son was off school sick today and he was disgusted."

    "He was so disgusted that he says he won't be well enough for school for a few more days at the very least."

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    her body is her business allright

    The surgeon work however is not.

    Whoever has done that, if in the UK, should be struck off the register for failing the "Do No Harm" part of their oath. Unless these baloons are filled with helium she will have crushed disks in her spine in a couple of years tops and will be a cripple for the rest of her life.

  15. Cosmo
    FAIL

    "My son was off school sick today and he was disgusted."

    Translates as:

    My son was home today - and then disappeared up to his room for half an hour, saying that he "wasn't feeling well"

  16. Cosmo
    Thumb Up

    ITV Player

    Will this be on the ITV player? I'll check once I get back home from the pub this evening :)

  17. Xris M

    Airbags?

    Surely in accordance with El Reg Standard Units (ERSU?), these must be some sort of Bulgarian Super Funbags, not mere Bulgarian Airbags!

    1. Elmer Phud Silver badge
      Headmaster

      Nope

      'Super Funbags' are at least couple of sizes smaller - these are the 'Space Hopper' model.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      here here!

      We need a good comparative aid! How many pints of beer could those puppies hold? ...or should that be barrels

      1. TeeCee Gold badge
        Grenade

        @Elmer Phud

        You swine. I've just had a mental picture of her stripping off to reveal a silly face and hand grips on each one.....

        1. Rob Beard
          Coffee/keyboard

          LMAO!

          I think I need a new keyboard!

          Rob

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "My son was off school sick today and he was disgusted."

    Damn lies...

  19. Bumpy Cat
    Happy

    "My son was disgusted"

    Dear Mrs Rogowski, that expression on your son's face wasn't disgust.

  20. Aaron Em

    On the other hand

    Read a bit about the implants: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polypropylene_breast_implants

    I'll admit to being a bit horrified now, sure.

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    "My son was off school sick today and he was disgusted."

    So thats what its called nowadays!

  22. burnard
    Stop

    My son was off school sick today and he was disgusted...

    Were you off work sick? I would guess not. Maybe if you had a life....er...job, you would be able to complain in a more balanced way.

    Not appropriate for This Morning, probably. But it's not as though she flashed the whole nation. Maybe This Morning are struggling for viewer or stories or just anything of interest to people who have no job and sit around watching TV all day. For someone in your position I would have thought Jeremy Kyle would offend you, but apparently This Morning is more of a bad influence on you and your son.

    1. Lamont Cranston

      Not that the complainant wasn't being an idiot,

      but her being at home during the day hardly invalidates her opinion.

      Maybe she was home because her child was sick?

      Maybe she works nights?

      Maybe her household income is such that she doesn't have to work?

      Maybe she lost her job?

  23. kain preacher Silver badge

    Um thats scared me

    Thats not porn thats a mutant alien trying to eat her.

  24. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    calm down

    Well if you didn't like the item on the show, use the remote control and watch something else, it's just a pair of tits, not even uncovered.

  25. Annihilator
    Pint

    Irony-o-meter

    Sun disgusted by boobs on TV, see page 3 for Erica from Crawley's comments on the scandal.

    TGIF folks...

  26. JDX Gold badge

    My son was off school sick today and he was disgusted

    He didn't leave the room because he was disgusted, but to watch on the TV in his bedroom.

    I'm amazed that's physically possible personally. I thought Lola was pushing the boundaries.

  27. Studley
    Coat

    Biggest pair of tits on ITV

    ...since Ant and Dec

  28. lardheppus
    Paris Hilton

    According to the Sun...

    ...they weigh almost four stone and are growing at a rate of an inch a month. One wonders if that's radius, diameter, or circumference. I was going to ask the IT angle, but computer modeling is definitely needed to predict how soon it'll be before their gravitational field exceeds that of the Earth.

    1. Captain TickTock
      Boffin

      Gumps is the correct unit

      our english teacher told us 1 gump was a cubic mouthful...

  29. kain preacher Silver badge

    String implants NSFW

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polypropylene_breast_implants

  30. ian 22

    Its "Boobnotes" now is it?

    It seems there CAN be too much of a good thing.

  31. Michael 28
    WTF?

    Won't someone ....

    ....please think of the spinal osteopaths????

  32. Joe User

    Re: What's she going to look like when she's 80?

    She'll need a wheelbarrow (or two) to lug those huge sandbags around....

  33. David Barr
    Unhappy

    Offended?

    Looks like a bunch of housewives have nothing better to do that watch TV and try their hardest to get offended. People making complaints like that should be politely told that nobody is interested.

  34. Joe User

    New application of blimp technology?

    She must have some lighter-than-air assistance to prevent that pair from dragging on the ground.

  35. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I prefer women with breasts to breasts with a woman

    Not that these qualify as breasts.

    Life is tough enough for women who are naturally excessively-endowed. Why would anyone want to have a couple of shopping trolleys attached to their chest?

  36. SkippyBing Silver badge

    Colour me confused

    She's complaining to the Sun about her child seeing someone's covered breasts.

    Who's she going to complain to about page 3?

    1. LaeMing Silver badge
      Go

      ITV of course

      Though, was it the Sun she complained to or the ITV facebook, which the Sun then covered?

  37. Russell Long
    Alien

    An acting career beckons...

    ...in Japan. Presumably they'll supply the sailor uniform and betentacled horrors.

  38. Captain TickTock
    WTF?

    NSFW how?

    She was modestly dressed, I thought.

    Maybe not modestly proportioned, let's say, but decently covered.

    In other news, 2 skydivers find themselves short-changed in the parachute department...

  39. illiad

    lola???

    it seems both men AND womens brains are short-circuited by those melons....

    http://thismorning.itv.com/thismorning/life/worlds-biggest-boobs

    and COVER THE SCREEN so you can listen to what she says...all is intelligently explained.... (there is no 'container' involved.. )

    I guess you were thinking lola Ferrari, who had extreme implants, and painful muscle ops..

  40. Mycho Silver badge

    You may laugh

    This woman, by her very existence, is extreme porn. Her existence is geared toward sexual arousal, which is a choice she made when she had those implants, and everything she does risks causing serious harm to her breasts, which is also a choice she made at the same time.

    This is what they should be banning, not some consensual sex games between adults.

  41. Anonymous Coward
    IT Angle

    But...

    ...where's the tIT angle?

    1. edge_e
      Coat

      Almost...

      where's t'IT angle?

  42. skeptical i

    Link in the sidebar to the airship article would have been nice ...

    ... missed a trick there, lads.

  43. LaeMing Silver badge
    Coat

    Your resistance

    just makes my boobs bigger.

    Need a /b/tard icon?

  44. Marketing Hack Silver badge
    Paris Hilton

    My God!!

    Do airlines charge her for an extra seat for those things? if not, does she wake up on the plane with her neighbors in the seat row pillowed on her breasts.

    As for the "disgusted son", did he yell that through the bathroom door to his mother when she wanted to know why he locked himself in the bathroon for half an hour after seeing those (fully covered) breast-balloons on TV? "Are you coming out soon, dear?" "No mom!!, it will be another 15 minutes!! Don't come in!! I'm (um), I'm really, really disgusted right now and you don't want to see it!!!"

    Paris, because in her time she's "disgusted" a few adolescent males too!

  45. Peter Murphy

    Ouch!

    I know of one woman who underwent breast reduction surgery because her natural breasts were so big as to be causing her agony. She could stoop forward, or she could try to stand up straight, with a lot of resulting stress on her vertebrae and supporting muscles. It's not that comfortable when you have natural boobs out of Benny Hill on an otherwise petite frame.

    Machine icon: because Chelsea's probably going to need her own exoskeleton to move around without straining her back.

  46. jake Silver badge

    I'm not sure who I feel sorrier for ...

    The idiot woman, or the idiots who find that kinda thing attractive.

  47. Dave B 1
    Paris Hilton

    Nipples

    They're actually airbrushed /out/ of the few photos of her visible to guests on her website. There is good reason for this, and you may find it out for yourself if you use Google Image Search. You won't want to eat dinner afterwards, mind.

    Paris, to cleanse my mind's eye.

  48. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    That's porn?

    Possibly she should see a psychiatrist. And I'm not talking about Charms.

  49. Rocket
    Coat

    Disgusted?

    Yeah the son was disgusted that Mom nearly caught him with a stiff one in his hands.

    Or maybe when he ''sneezed'' because he had a cold and mommy cleaned him up.

    I'll wipe off me coat

  50. Identity
    Coat

    But what can she do?

    With a little help, she can stand up!

  51. kain preacher Silver badge

    wow

    On her website, Charms says that her bust size is 153XXX, and that her breasts each weigh 26 pounds (11.8 kg).[6]

    Charms has had breast augmentation surgery three times. The first augmentation enlarged her to an E cup, the second to an HH. Both were saline bags. The third surgery implanted the polypropylene string. In some cases of breast augmentation via the polypropylene method, the breasts may grow at different paces or at a dangerously accelerated rate. In her case, they have grown in unison, but their growth rate has steadily slowed over the years. The initial string content was equivalent to 2500cc. Her doctor estimates the growth has increased the size of each breast to over 7000cc.[1]

    When asked if her bust size causes her back pain, she replied that it does not if she keeps up with exercise. Her favorite authors are Ha Jin, Anne Rice and Charles Dickens.[1]

  52. Neil McGovern

    Really? From the Sun?

    I wonder what Jane, 23 from Essex would have thought.

  53. illiad

    well

    Mycho:

    If you had been listening, you would know that polyprop HAS been banned, but the effect is natural and slow, so no real problem..

    AS for 'extreme porn' LOL - look up 'opearl' to be really shocked.. :)

    Dave B 1: look harder!!!

    http://www.google.com/images?hl=en&safe=off&as_st=y&tbs=isch:1&q=Chelsea+Charms&btnG=Search&ei=XA3PTfLeDJK18QOs-4zbDQ&gbv=2&biw=1318&bih=643

    you will find there are lots more like her in USA, they are just strange that way....

  54. Robert E A Harvey
    Coat

    "My wife has a new job...

    ...smuggling zeppelins!"

  55. Mips
    Jobs Horns

    Some people think I'm a freak, but I wouldn't have it any other way.??

    So you like people thinking you're a freak?

  56. Sabine Miehlbradt

    Err

    Does she take those of when she goes to bed? How can anyone lie comfortably with those watermelons on their chest?

    It's her own lookout - but...Ughhh. Too bad there are no common sense implants. She'll get really bad back problems with those whatever she says.

    Icon request: 2 darts, crossed.

  57. Anonymous Coward
    FAIL

    Bra Size

    She's wearing the wrong bra if she's got a 164 band measurement!

    Even if that's CM then it's 64inches and she really don't look that fat.

    Or let me guess - The Sun just made it up and don't have a clue and think a big number is always better. Small number, Big letter better. I'd hate to play them at TopTrumps.

    For shame on El Reg for not noticing, or giving a conversion to BSH (British Standard Handful) or BFB

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