back to article Cross-dresser kills goat while high on bath salts

A 19-year-old American man has blamed the narcotic effects of bath salts* for sparking an episode that resulted in the death of a pygmy goat. Mark L Thompson of Alum Creek, West Virginia, was arrested on Monday after police had been called by the owner of a pygmy goat, a neighbour of Thompson's, who had complained that the 19- …


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  1. Jim Coleman

    Oh well

    Without wishing to skirt around the issue, I must say stories like this really get my goat.

    1. Anonymous Coward

      "Thompson took to his heels"

      "Thompson took to his heels"

      Absolutely top notch writing. This is why we love the Reg!

    2. Fred Flintstone Gold badge


      .. you don't beat around the bush.

      Yeah, yeah, the flasher Mac please..

  2. James Cullingham


    Surely a 'caprine killer' would be a killer who was in some way goat-like (and possibly was, in fact, a goat)? It seems that you have missed the opportunity to use the word 'capricide'.

  3. Chris Miller
    Thumb Up

    Admit it

    You were just waiting to write that headline, weren't you?

  4. NightFox

    Nothing New

    I had a similar experience on a 750ml bottle of Radox once

    1. thefutureboy


      # Nothing New → #


      # I had a similar experience on a 750ml bottle of Radox once

      Ah, but I bet you made a clean getaway...

      1. This post has been deleted by its author

      2. SirTainleyBarking

        Yeah but

        He was caught when witnesses saw man with suspected rabies fleeing through the town centre

      3. NightFox


        Would have done, except someone bubbled me.

  5. Jimboom

    Bath salts eh?

    I once tried sucking back a tube of anti-age wrinkling cream but that didn't do anything... apart from perhaps giving my stomach and digestive tracts the appearance of much younger organs.

  6. Piezor

    Bath salts

    Presumably he was looking to make a clean getaway after the murder

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Thats silly and dangerous...

      What were you planning to do with the yards of tummy-pipes you'd have had left over if the unguent in question had done the biz and smoothed out all the folds and kinks?

  7. Peter Mc Aulay

    Termination problem

    I didn't think anyone that young would be using parallel SCSI, though.

  8. IglooDude


    I only request that there NOT be any Playmobil reenactments of this story...

  9. Bibbleq

    came for the playmobil

    Left disappointed...

  10. Anonymous Coward


    That's mad! I've experienced the drug, and it's essentially just speed, i.e. means you can't go to sleep for about 12 hours. Can't imagine getting in this situation from a bit of this, he was blatently on other things. Obviously though, you would tell the police you were on a legal drug.

  11. Anonymous Coward


    One commenter on the story in the Charleston Gazette describes the probability that he had sex with the goat as "Sick but typical"....

    1. kissingthecarpet

      Speed psychosis

      which you're likely to have after 3 days, is indistinguishable from schizophrenia. If you're psychotic, anything goes, up to & including goat rape & murder. Especially if you're unaware of the possibility - after all its "just speed" - & so is crystal meth.

      This isn't a criticism of taking loads of drugs though - there's nowt wrong with that

      1. MinionZero

        psychosis ... and worse

        @"is indistinguishable from schizophrenia. If you're psychotic, anything goes, up to & including goat rape & murder."

        I totally agree but there's also some very strong warning signs of at least a Borderline behaviour combined with his drug induced psychosis. For example, he is a high on bath salts cross-dressing rape & murdering necrophiliac goat shagger! ... Wow that's some very clear signs of a Borderline Personality Disordered kind of behaviour at the very least!

        Plus imagine being the owner of that poor goat, knowing how horrifically your pet has died. That's not good at all. As any pet owner would understand, they are going to have a difficult time getting over that. The point is this guy never gave the owner a thought. This is strong signs of no empathy for the owner what so ever, even to kill their pet and so horrifically.

        This goat rape & murderer as you appropriately call him and drug induced psychosis or not, that's some seriously scary behaviour when you look closely at what he has done. The guy needs serious help before he tries that on a human. Serial killers often practice on animals first and they often combine aspects of Borderline behaviour with their extreme lack of empathy for anyone else. Its just as well they caught him now.

  12. Anonymous John

    We know a song about that, don't we children?

    I slaughter goats. I wear high heels,

    Suspendies, and a bra.

    I wish I'd been a girlie,

    Just like my dear Papa.

  13. Simon 6
    Thumb Up

    This is why I visit The Register every day...

    Headlines like that just cannot be found anywhere else :)

  14. Anonymous Coward
    IT Angle


    ? or is it a tech/drugs thing.

    All life is here. Very sad about the goat. The Kid needs help!

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    bath salts

    bath salts is the same kind of euphemism as plant food was here and not a "brand" or even a compound, in the USA's case to get around the human consumption aspect of their Analogue act.

    meanwhile over here MDPV is a class B substance.

  16. asiaseen

    No point

    in bleating about it now.

  17. Graham Bartlett

    What a shame

    Clearly the poor boy needs his nanny.

  18. karl 15


    This is why i never wash

  19. TRT Silver badge


    Gruff justice.

  20. John Sturdy

    Won't someone...

    But won't someone think of the kids?

  21. Geoff Smith

    oh dear,

    Won't someone think of the kids?

  22. Kyriacos Sakkas

    I'll get my goat

    Suprised only one person spotted the IT angle...

  23. Disco-Legend-Zeke

    Goats Killed By Fake POT..

    Goats killed by real pot...


    In the first three months of 2011 there were over 2000 emergency room visits by users of this crap.

    Legalize, Tax, Educate.

  24. Muckminded

    Kids can be so cruel

    It may have been self-defense.

  25. Joe User

    Re: TYPICAL?!

    AC: One commenter on the story in the Charleston Gazette describes the probability that he had sex with the goat as "Sick but typical"....

    I take it you've never been to West Virginia before?

  26. 88mm a.k.a. Minister for Misbehaviour
    Paris Hilton

    Forced Puns

    Just what kind of bath salt?

    'Rock' salt, 'Mineral' salt, 'Dead' sea salt, Salt 'scrub', Salt 'Solution'

    ...and what kind of goat?

    'Orange coloured goat', 'Sacrificial' goat. 'Nanny' goat

    Today it was announced that an angry man dressed in stockings believed he had the solution when thinking on the hoof he sacrificed his nanny while playing with his minerals in order to get his rocks off with a scrubber.

    An eye witness was heard to say something Orangey may have been involved although it was unconfirmed whether the accused is a Tory MP

    Paris (always) - because she knows what salty solutions taste like

    1. asiaseen

      ...and what kind of goat?


  27. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

    Alum Creek?

    No wonder he had easy access to plenty of bath salts.

    Or maybe he just spent too much time swimming in the creek.

  28. Tigra 07 Silver badge
    Black Helicopters

    With recent events and all...

    Has it been considered that he may have been reenacting Osama Bin Laden's killing in a disguise more suited to an undercover agent?

  29. Z80
    Thumb Up

    Cheers El Reg

    for teaching me some of the more obscure animal adjectives. I feel they're bound to come in handy in a pub quiz one day.

  30. Anonymous Coward


    Playmobil reconstruction or it didn't happen.

  31. Eddy Ito Silver badge

    A last night out

    Undoubtedly he was just looking to make some kid gloves to match the outfit he had so carefully prepared for his upcoming stay in the slammer.

  32. sabba

    Ok, let's get this over and done with...

    ...he was feeling a little horny...

    ...thinking of his nanny... started as a little kidding around...

    ...unfortunately he got a little cross, dressing...

    ...when cornered he hoofed it...

    I'm appearing here all week!!

  33. Anonymous Coward

    Must have...

    ...picked the wrong scapegoat.

  34. jake Silver badge

    For one brief, happy moment ...

    ... when I first read this this morning, I thought it was Friday.

    (I thought I posted this 14 or 15 hours ago; either my not-quite rebooted "first cuppa" brain made a mistake, or it got lost in the aether ... )

  35. sabba
    Paris Hilton

    I blame it on...

    ...the nanny state.

  36. Michael 28

    Remember a demotivational poster about this captioned...

    "No matter how much you party, you will never be as cool as this guy"!!!!

    with this picture , i believe ...

    All it needs now is a suitable soundtrack..... any suggestions??

    My suggestion is prodigy's firestarter... or something from Wumpscut.

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