NetApp purchases EMC
Rather dull April's fool....
We hate April Fools Day. It makes story writing here at Vulture Central extra difficult, sifting through the endless fictional nonsense trying to find something interesting - and true. However, sometimes the gags can be quite amusing. Here are a few I've stumbled across on my story surfs today. Facebook Status Display T-Shirt …
Simply on the level of effort they went through to build what many a fanboi might ACTUALLY buy. I have a few apple gadgets, but I'm no fanboi and this would not make it past the threshold of my home, but I know people who would buy this for their kids in a heart beat if it was real. The design (real or rendered?) is awesome, and if it wasn't April 1 I would have assumed this was real. (though, each year, some April 1 gag does usually turn into a product...)
> That's what New Scientist said this morning. I guess it could be true, but how would we know?
Well, you'd know by clicking on the link in the new scientist article that leads to the article in the April issue of the journal Sleep Medicine, published by Elsevier. If you really wanted to you could pony up the $31.50 and buy the article. Even without actually reading the article, you would know because Elsevier is a particularly sense-of-humor-challenged publishing house who would never stoop to such a low level as April Fool jokes. You could google the names of the authors and find that they are genuine sleep- and restless-leg researchers. So El Reg is the April Fool for calling out a genuine story as an April fool joke.
Surely mention must be made of Rob Brydon's brilliant, whole-show impersonation of Ken Bruce this morning on Radio 2?
I only realised something wasn't quite right when, during the Popmaster quiz, I began thinking that Uncle Ken might have had a wee tincture or two before the show, such was his cheeky treatment of contestants. It was my wife who eventually rumbled it was Brydon.
The whole thing was hilarious, and a real mimicry tour de force ...
On a day where every hack prankster in the world dusts off the old "funny prank muscle" and embarks on a journey of of hoodwinking, I implore you to choose the road less traveled, my dear impressionable readers.
That got my vote for best of the year.
Works on so many levels:
1) The name's taken from the Canterbury Linux User Group which, famously, does not exist as such: http://clug.net.nz/index.php/ThereIsNoCLUG
2) Highlights the little factoid that the only way you can even raise the eminently sensible subject of standardisation in Linux without getting flamed to a crisp is as a joke.
3) Managed to get five distros to run a single standard landing page, flying in the face of 2 and having a laugh at its own expense.
Oak leaf and cluster to the lads behind this one.
Surely the most sophisticated one? BMW actually built an M3 pickup, dressed it up in the regular test mule camouflage thrashed it around the Nurburgring to get genuine spyshots published, then posted the 'official' pictures for today.
This has nothing do with me liking high powered pickups.
BMW always end up doing good ones though.
Ah, you missed the BMW Royal Wedding edition models then? Complete with "Will" badging in the style of the "M" series badges....
Kudos to Land Rover for the self-levelling tax disc holder.
Honourable mention to FIAT for their system to provide status messages, sat-nav directions, etc. with an appropriate regional accent dependent on location, the Automated Regional Speech Enhancer.........
Hmmm, well there has been quite a good selection, including a good double bluff with the wank-o-meter app, that really exists (almost caught me with that, but I checked the QR before calling it out as a fool).
Fave... Well I'm quite taken with the Marmite Vaseline lip balm... They really should make that!
Then again, they do make marmite chocolate, so maybe that's real too!
From the "Ashland daily Press, Ashland, WI USA
‘Chequnnel’ between Ashland, Washburn shaves full 7 minutes off 15-minute commute
Mayors meet in middle during grand opening
By IMA LYOR
WASHBURN — Drivers in the Chequamegon Bay area are now able to avoid the dangerous "T" intersection of State Highway 13 and U.S. Highway 2 between Ashland and Washburn with the grand opening of a new tunnel under Chequamegon Bay connecting the two cities.
The "Chequnnel" — the affectionate moniker for the "Chequamegon Bay Underwater Navigation Tunnel" — is the latest brainstorm from Loo Flirpa, whose past engineering feats have had many comparing him with the designers of the Titanic, the Edsel and double-knit leisure suits.
"Ya, shoore, we got somadat stimulus fund money, an' we decided to make da tunnel to nowhere under Highway 2 to Madeline Island," he said.
Unfortunately for the planned northerly terminus of the Chequnnel, when Flirpa was doing the original survey work for the route, he spent part of the money on a case of Old Snakebite brandy, and in a highly inebriated state, made a hard right at the Ashland Breakwater Lighthouse and surfaced near the Washburn coal dock, much to the astonishment of a pair of unwary walleye fishermen.
Flirpa said it was not his ineptitude that caused the unplanned detour to the Bayfield County seat, but the presence of a heretofore unsuspected lode of iron ore that skewed his Boy Scout compass as he operated a tunnel-digging machine scavenged from the shut-down White Pine Copper mine in Michigan.
One of the design features Flirpa had originally planned for the tunnel was a series of portholes for fishermen.
"Ya, instead of adding a sinker, ya just hook a bobber, and hey, boy, youse in business," he babbled.
The proposal was not adopted in the final design for obvious reasons.
The completed Chequnnel features four lanes for vehicular traffic, and in keeping with the designation of both Ashland and Washburn as eco-municpalities, there is a pedestrian and bicycle lane, with a rack of LED headlamps posted on each end for hikers or cyclists to use.
In a grand opening ceremony, Ashland Mayor Bill Whalen and Washburn Mayor Ralph Brzezinski were the first to walk through the Chequnnel, starting on their respective sides of the bay and meeting in the middle. Unfortunately, the pair had forgotten to don the headlamps, which meant they were navigating through darkness when they met.
“Ouch! You just stepped on my foot!” exclaimed Whalen when the dignitaries met, as they groped through the air to shake hands.
Both cited their pleasure with the Chequnnel, noting it shaves at least 7 minutes off the onerous 15-minute commute between the two cities.
With the opening of the Chequnnel, the Wisconsin Department of Transportation has abandoned plans for a roundabout at the junction of Highways 2 and 13, as Highway 13 has now been routed through the Chequnnel. The old Highway 13 will become a county road, and, “The T will revert to a Y — or some other letter of the alphabet,” said a WisDOT spokeswoman.
Some problems with the Chequnnel remain. According to some observers, Flirpa badly overestimated the amount of compressed air it would take to ventilate the Chequnnel. This problem became apparent when the first test car attempted to use the structure and wound up being fired out of the exit in the general direction of Seattle as if it were a giant pumpkin cannon.
"Well, every project has its little problems, eh?" said Flirpa as he uncorked yet another bottle of his noxious redeye hooch. "I mean if you got relations in Washington state, you ain't never gonna find no cheaper air fare!"
Ima Lyor cannot be reached at all...not no way, not no how. Happy April Fool’s Day to our readers.
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