back to article Lindsay Lohan ditches her surname

Bespeckled thespiatrix Lindsay Lohan has dealt a serious blow to the El Reg space paper plane bureau by announcing she's going to drop the "Lohan" and emerge as just "Lindsay". According to her mum Dina, there are two reasons for the rebrand: first up, loads of megacelebs like Oprah and Beyonce thrive on a first-name-only …

COMMENTS

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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    Celebutard?

    Celebutard? I always thought it was "celebretard"... Though I suppose either way it gets the desired point across.

    Paris, obviously!

    1. unitron

      It's a three-fer (or a three-way)

      I think the idea behind celebutard is to combine celebrity, debutante, and retard (a "word" I eschew).

      1. Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge

        Why not cerebretard?

        no typo there

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Retard

        "I think the idea behind celebutard is to combine celebrity, debutante, and retard (a "word" I eschew)."

        Indeed. Retard isn't AFAIK a noun and shouldn't be used as such, unless you happen to be a septic in which case it seems to be acceptable to use a nound as a verb or a verb as a noun or probably an adjective as either.

        I seem to recall a Calvin and Hobbes strip where Calvin declares his liking for "verbing words". Hobbes replies that maybe one day they will be able to make language a complete impediment to understanding.

        1. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

          Re: Retard

          It's wordplay. You know? It doesn't have to make perfect sense, but then I realise the audience we're dealing with here.

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Apparently Michael has claimed that Lohan is "a name of integrity"

    you can hear the laughter from 60,000ft

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      title

      What above Earth are you doing at 60,000ft???

      1. Alister Silver badge
        Paris Hilton

        What above Earth are you doing at 60,000ft???

        Sigh...

        This is the P.A.R.I.S section, did you not get it?

        Paris... well... as above, really - she always gets it

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Possibly

        Getting away from Lindsay Lohan? Sorry, I forgot, she's now rebranded. I'll start again with her new proper name:

        Getting away from Lindsay, that's spelt T W A T.

        1. Avatar of They Silver badge
          Thumb Up

          I can think of lots of acronyms but none sadly for your space plane.

          I was too slow and you beat me to typing just what I was thinking.

          If this wasn't in the PARIS section I would have been very keen to point out that it isn't IT related (I never thought I would be saying that) and more importantly, that no one really cares what the useless, talentless and Z listed American chav does with her drug / alcohol addled life.

        2. Fred Flintstone Gold badge
          Joke

          No, no, no

          "Getting away from Lindsay, that's spelt T W A T."

          No, no, that's staying close. You didn't pay attention in biology, did you?

  3. Trevor 3
    Pint

    LINDSAY

    Lithium Ion\Nickel Derived Stratospheric Aeroplane\Yacht?

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    LINDSAY

    Lester's

    Ingenious

    Notch

    Design

    Space

    Aeroplane

    Yeah!

    OK so I'm not great at it! And to acheive a notch design you'd have to, erm, cut notches in it

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    What about this?

    Lindsay = Low income notwithstanding, daring into space attempting yardage? Mmmm.. Not good enough, I could not find a better one with "y"

    Maybe someone else can find a better one. Come on, Ubuntu comes up with even more ridiculous naming each release.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      I like it - how about

      Lester's

      (most)

      Ingenious

      Not-so

      Deep

      Space

      Aeroplane

      Yet

      ?

  6. Nigel Brown

    The biggest problem with this plan

    is that she's not a megacelebrity, but a two-bit actress of dubious ability and alley-cat morals.

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Unhappy

    an end to riding

    the Li Lo of fame

  8. djs

    LIndSAy

    Light INDependent Space AnchovY

    Just don't forget the salty fish payload.

    1. Francis Boyle Silver badge

      That's only the second biggest

      The biggest: Oprah, Beyonce, Lindsay. One of these names is not like the other.

      1. Fuh Quit
        Thumb Up

        you forgot Ernie

        Oprah, Beyonce, Lindsay, Ernie. Only three have been on Sesame Street......and that's a true measurement of talent ;-)

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      She's an actress?

      Well, you learn something every day

    3. Richard 120
      Thumb Up

      Brilliant

      That works on at least 2 levels

  9. Oliver Mayes

    What about

    Largely inebriated nation dare send airplanes yonder

  10. Flocke Kroes Silver badge

    If you want a backcronym ...

    Yet Another Space Diving Newspaper Illustrating Landscapes

    1. Thomas 4

      Not bad

      Just needs a little tidying:

      Legendary Info Newspage Dares Sending Airplanes Yonder

      1. A. Coatsworth
        Pint

        Re: Not bad

        You can get the best of the two worlds: Largely Inebriated Newspage Dares Sending Airplanes Yonder.

        Previous PARIS coverage gives plenty of support for that affirmation!

        Cheers

        1. Intractable Potsherd
          Thumb Up

          Surely...

          ... Largely Inebriated Newspage Dares *Send* Aeroplanes/Aircraft Yonder (yep, spelling pedant on flying things).

      2. Michael Dunn
        Headmaster

        @Thomas 4

        Hey, you don't use a gerund after dare(s).

  11. DrXym Silver badge

    The real reason

    Lindsay clearly hocked her surname to score some blow

  12. Code Monkey

    S.L.A.P.P.E.R.

    Space

    Launched

    Aeroplane

    Piloted

    (by)

    Playmonaut

    (with)

    Eventual

    Recovery

  13. Pirate Dave
    Pirate

    LINDSAY

    Liquid-Influenced Normally-Destructive Self-Abusing Yelper

    Liquid-Influenced Normally-Destructive Satellite-Altitude Yelper

    The Y on the end makes it more difficult.

  14. Alien Doctor 1.1

    Backronym

    Launch

    Into

    Notably

    Darkened

    Space

    And

    Yippee

  15. Mike Richards Silver badge

    Fire up NAOMI

    Next Ascender and Orbiter - Manned (sort of) Interactive

    It's all the more aptly named if, on re-entry, this one crashed onto a hired help.

  16. Stuart Moore

    I have it...

    Largely

    Improvised

    Nerd

    Designed

    Space

    Aeronautical

    Yo-Yo

    (or possibly Yacht - but I like the concept of a "Yo Yo" device that could go up and down repeatedly to replace the Space Shuttle)

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Hmmm

    Lunatics In Newroom Design Spaceplane And Yet ....

    1. Oliver Mayes
      Thumb Up

      I like it!

      Forget the space elevator, just have some bloke on the ISS with a bloody long yo-yo string.

      He lets it down and you quickly clip a payload onto it as it comes within a few feet of th eground, then with a flick of the wrist it's on it's way orbit-ward.

    2. LINCARD1000
      Coffee/keyboard

      Re: Fire up NAOMI

      You, Sir... had me choking with laughter. How very cynical of you :-D

    3. Thomas 4
      Thumb Up

      Mike's onto a winner with this one

      Near Apogee Orbiting Model Initiative

      1. Lester Haines (Written by Reg staff) Gold badge

        Re: Mike's onto a winner with this one

        That's pretty good. Keep 'em coming...

        1. Trevor 3
          Pint

          how about?

          Next, Another Origami Manufactured Initiative

          The engineers will suffer from NAPS

          Not Another Paper Straw :-)

          1. Thomas 4
            IT Angle

            I think Naomi is one of the better candidates

            A lot of the other suggestions so far such as Keira Knightley, Natalie Portman, Anna Chapman, etc don't really have the right ingredients for "celebutard" status as I understand it.

            For a viable candidate, we need:

            * A colossal ego

            * A lack of intelligence, or pretence thereof

            * Regular newspaper articles detailing their latest screw-up or hissy fit

            Possible others include:

            * Being female (if we want to keep the PARIS, LOHAN, ?? theme running)

            * An IT angle would be beneficial (the infamous Youtube video for Miss Hilton and the Blackberry incident would qualify Miss Campbell - couldn't really say for the former Miss Lohan)

  18. lawndart

    Oo look it's a hash sign ->

    Launch Inhibiting Non-entity Delays Space Attempt Years.

  19. HaplessPoet

    I think...

    It's because she doesn't like being known as LiLo!

  20. Daniel 1

    You should go with your other 'poster guuurl'

    Covert High Altitude Payload Manned by Articulated Nonpareil

    Maybe call the balloon part the:

    Aeronautical Non-Navigable Assender

    We saw how fond you were of her... And she keeps on making the news.

  21. Tigra 07 Silver badge
    Thumb Up

    What was Lohan anyway?

    L ightweight

    O range

    H ula Hoop

    A ircraft

    N ik Naks

    I had to cheat and stick some of your sponsors in, oh and the plane needs to be orange for this to work, no thanks required!

    1. Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge
      Coffee/keyboard

      Neat!!

      New keyboard please

    2. Josco

      no, it's an octothorpe

      Also, I had to Google miss Lohan. Quite pretty..... now if I could get her to wear some beer googles...

      1. Rattus Rattus

        @Josco

        "Quite pretty" - must have been an old photo.

  22. Cliff

    Promotion!

    Megan Fox, your day has come...

    Mastering Earth's Gravity And <something starting with N>

  23. Tigra 07 Silver badge
    Pint

    Got another one you could try...

    Jumbo

    Aircraft

    Created by

    Kindergarden

    Students

    Over

    Neverland

  24. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    Plenty of fish in them seas

    Charlie Sheen

    Winona Ryder

    Mel Gibson

    Russel Crowe

    There are any number of fine, upstanding celebutants who could replace our Linds. Backronyms left as an exercise for the reader.

    1. Ben Tasker Silver badge

      How about

      Newtonian (Physics)

    2. Pirate Dave
      Pirate

      something starting with N

      Narcolepsy ???

  25. Sir Sham Cad

    Straw Plane Earth Atmosphere Re-entry Stunt

    Beer Really Inspired The Nuttiest Experiment Yet?

    1. Charlie Clark Silver badge
      Thumb Up

      But is she still news?

      NFT

  26. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    Perhaps - LiLo Lil?

    Obscure?

  27. disgruntled yank Silver badge

    Hmmph

    Can't she find somebody surnamed Doyle to marry? Lindsay per se recalls to the US baby boomers only John Lindsay, who was mayor of NYC nearly 50 years ago.

    Failing that, can't El Reg come up with a backronym suiting DOYLE?

  28. Bill Fresher

    LINDSAY

    Lunatics Investigating New Design Space Aeroplane Yardstick

  29. Spartacus
    Pint

    Who needs a Lohan when WE have a....

    Kinetic Experiment Into Rocket Altitude

  30. Anonymous Coward
    Happy

    What?

    So Windfrey and Knowles have dropped their names? I didn't get that memo! See how I remembered them though? I say Lohan stays, it sounds more of an insult :o)

  31. bio toxicens

    I dont think....

    ...that Oprah dropped her last name. I mean, she has her own TV station called the OWN

  32. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    One name?

    To be fair Beyonce isn't too common a name. Although it's become more common now with all the chavs calling their kids Beyonce Chardonay Memphis Smith. I certainly can't think of another famous Beyonce so I can't see Beyonce being confused with anybody else.

    There are, however, other Lindsays about, some of them male. So when miss Lohan announces herself as just Lindsay there's a good chance people may be expecting somebody else.

  33. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    L.I.N.D.S.A.Y.

    Let's Invent New Dreary Space Aeroplane. Yawn.

    1. Lester Haines (Written by Reg staff) Gold badge

      Re: L.I.N.D.S.A.Y.

      How about "Fool Rejects Exciting Science, Heartily Exhibits Rancour"?

      If you're going to have a pop, at least show us your surname :-p

  34. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    LINDSAY

    Lindsay Is Not Delivering Suitable Acronym Yet.

    1. HFoster
      Pint

      Mmmm... Recursion...

      Please enjoy this beer on me.

  35. IglooDude

    I say...

    Just keep the name as-is; what the celebutard in question actually does regarding her naming shouldn't make a whit of difference to the engineering marvel which shall be launched skyward. In the end it will be more well-known than the namesake anyway, just as with PARIS.

  36. Big Al
    Paris Hilton

    LINDSAY

    LInDSAy - the Lightweight Innovative Design Space AssaY project

  37. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Home grown talent(*)

    I was toying with LUMLEY (oh, I wish) but gave up because a.) I couldn't come up with anything (not one hundred percent true) and b.) she's a real celebrity, but mostly a.

    (*) Yes, I know she was born in India.

  38. proto-robbie
    Coat

    LINeD & SAtinY

    It's on already.

  39. HFoster

    LINDSAY

    Let go INto DeScent for later ground AcquirY

  40. heyrick Silver badge

    Could be worse

    She could have tried something insane like rebranding herself as a squiggle or some other "meaningful symbol". But, then, who would actually want to do that?

    Oh, wait...

  41. John Smith 19 Gold badge
    Happy

    I'd move the goalposts

    GINGER anyone?

  42. F111F
    Thumb Up

    How About...

    Lifted (by) INflation Device, Stratosphere Aircraft, Yar

  43. Z80

    Falling to earth in its final act

    Playmonaut-

    Operated

    Remotely

    Tracked

    Mission's

    Acroynmic (or Actress-inspired)

    Nomenclature

  44. me n u
    Paris Hilton

    enough of the lindsay acronym already

    Let's ditch the Paris icon and replace it with a Lindsay icon. Maybe it could be snorting some white stuff (flour, I'm sure; yea, right!)

    Paris: cause there ain't no Lindsay (yet)

  45. Z80
    Coat

    Based on PARIS' performance, I suggest

    Descent Unknown: No Satellite Telemetry

  46. Mike Richards Silver badge

    BRITNEY

    Balloon Release Instrumented Tropospheric Navigation and Exploration - Yahoo!

    1. Chris Adams 1

      re: BRITNEY

      Brilliantly Ridiculous Idea That Nobody Expected? Yeah!

  47. Idgarad
    Happy

    L.I.N.D.S.A.Y

    Lindsy Is Not Doing Sexy Athletic Yoga

  48. Anonymous Coward
    FAIL

    The only thing this has served to show me...

    ...is that there's a fault in El Reg's commenting system that allows downvotes on our beloved moderatrix.

  49. Trevor 3
    Pint

    One more

    Tiny Haines Exciter Garners Acronyms (from) Many Exemplars?

  50. ShaggyDoggy

    Erm

    I've actually never heard of Lindsay Lohan.

    This is probably a Good Thing.

    Ok back to the RPGLE

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