back to article Online world maps rub jubs against todgers

It's Friday, and since you're all sitting around on your backsides waiting to head off to the pub, here's a challenge to fill a couple of dreary hours: just what interesting scientific conclusions can we draw from a comparison of the two following maps of breast size and penis length worldwide? Before …


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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton


    One thing is for sure: Size does NOT matter when it comes to population growth.....

    1. BorkedAgain

      Reverse boast

      I was going to say "Well, I guess it means I must be part-Russian" until I realised I was reading the chart upside-down.

      So glad I avoided making a fool of myself...

  2. <shakes head>


    have a smaller penis and bigger boobs than canadians

  3. <shakes head>

    the french

    are liying in the trouser department.

  4. Anonymous Coward


    Science be damned. My conclusion is that I'm living in the wrong country when it comes to meeting women with big jubs! Scandinavia here we "come"!

    1. Mr Grumblefish

      Though hopefully not at the same time

      Brazilians on the other hand. . .

  5. Test Man
    Thumb Up


    So Ghanaians are well endowed, eh?


  6. Tegne
    Paris Hilton

    I call shennanigans on the penile data

    Bra size can reasonably be mapped through analysing the sales statistics of Ladygarments but the size of a todger is surely anecdotal or a result of less than rigorous statistical recording. Funny that France and Italy have on average lager tackle than the rest of Europe. Bigging themselves up (literally), perhaps?

  7. Your Retarded

    Odd scale for comparison...

    As on the first map RED is GOOD (large breasts) whereas on the second map RED is BAD (small equipment). I wonder who chose those colours?

  8. Eponymous Cowherd

    Missed opportunity....

    for a jub/todger ratio map.

  9. Pavlov's obedient mutt
    Thumb Up

    smug... here in the Netherlands.

    Nice to see the statistics match my own personal experience.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward


      While larger is better (within reason) is a fair assumption in the todger department, you shouldn't make the same judgement for boobs. Note to self, volunteer for next Chinese trade show duty...

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      There is some serious data on penis size

      Condom manufacturers and distributors commissioned it. I've seen a report on it, about 50 pages, IIRC. There isn't that much data, but it's surprisingly detailed. They even go into how the girth varies along the length. They're generally more interested in the "width" than the length, of course, as it doesn't matter too much if a condom is too long. Width, by the way, means half the circumference in this context, in case you ever find yourself trying to interpret such data, because they measure the width of a condom as it lies flat.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: smug... here in the Netherlands.

      Have much experience of willies do you?

  10. lansalot


    Looks like my trip to the Congo is out then... don't think I'll get a visa for that one... :(

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Funny, but wrong..

    That's definitely wrong in the nordic and slavic countries. The size of a todger tends to be related to height, so it's no surprise that oriental and asian men have slightly smaller todgers, but that doesn't apply to Russia, Denmark etc.

    Breast size in the nordic countries tends to be smaller (at least in Norway and Sweden). Don't know about Russia etc, and I doubt the Russian/Ukranian pr0n I've seen is a particularly scientific way of knowing..

  12. Mike Hanna


    Glad I come from Northern Ireland, not the Republic...

  13. Pirate Dave

    penis map scale

    I hope that is in centimeters, not inches...

  14. TheCraig~

    More Data Please!

    I second the request for a jub/todger ratio map, and will add a request for the jub/todger data to be cross-referenced with the countries' obesity rates, as I'm sure there's a bit of correlation especially in the former.

    Now, off to the pub to verify the Canadian data... Or maybe I should wait 'till lunch?

    1. The Situation

      "Now, off to the pub to verify the Canadian data..."

      Men get their todgers out in Canadian pubs? Gross, I'm cancelling my planned trip to Montreal.

      Very surprised to see Spanish women average 'B' cups. From my own lecherous observations, Spanish racks are the biggest and best in Europe.

  15. Raggs

    Certainly wrong for Israel

    Having lived here for a while, I can assure you that an average of an a-cup is well out. In fact I'm struggling to think of even seeing an a-cup for the last few years...

    From viewings, I'd say on average larger than the UK, which I'd guess putting around C-D cup average.

    But considering how many women don't know how to measure correctly for bras, and the fact that UK and european sizes vary when you get to the larger sizes (europeans don't have double measurements, DD = E, E = F etc etc), I'm guess lots of errors can come in.

  16. Cosmo
    Thumb Up

    Looks like we should move pr0n production

    To South America. Big jubs and todgers!

  17. Ru

    Cup size alone is an inadequate metric...

    Spend some time comparing and contrasting, say, a 52FF with a 36D and you'll see what I mean.

  18. Captain TickTock

    I heard the average Canadian..

    ... has one testicle.

    It must be true, a Canadian told me, and the statistics don't lie ;-)

  19. Anonymous Coward

    Size matters?

    What's the big deal? Mine is only about 3" if truth be told, but really just how wide does it need to be?

    Yes I know. Coat...

    1. Raggs

      Mines only a couple of inches too....

      Couple of inches off the ground that is...

  20. Loyal Commenter Silver badge


    Where does Lady Gaga fall on each of these charts?

    1. Lester Haines (Written by Reg staff) Gold badge

      Re: So,

      Bolivia and China, not sure which way round, though.

    2. Graham Marsden

      @Where does Lady Gaga fall

      And is that face up or face down?!

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    or otherwise?

  22. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Theory unsupported

    The Ecuador, Peru, Bolivia and Paraguay corridor has men of above average size whilst the women have rather small breasts which seems to disprove a common belief about the magic properties of a certain creamy substance when either applied externally or taken orally.

  23. Anonymous Coward

    Re: Americans

    have a smaller penis and *more* boobs than canadians

    Corrected it for you.

  24. Anonymous Coward


    Penis size looks mostly ok. But African women with mostly small breasts? That seems wrong. Asia the smallest for both genders, and Africa the biggest for both genders.

    Maybe barebreasted African village women have been measured as the smallest bra size possible?

  25. Gareth

    Superpowers compensating for something?

    America, Russia, India and China are the world's most powerful nations, but all fall well into the lower percentile range. Compensating for much, chaps?

  26. Anonymous Coward

    Childhood memories

    When I was very young, I lived in West Africa and never realised that it was considered surprising, in some places, that nice girls show off their assetts.

    I found out quite quickly when we came back to the UK and older kids would hit me for describing what I had seen! Maybe they are referring to the length of these items. Some were not a pretty sight.

  27. Andus McCoatover

    Looking at the map...


    That proboscis north of the Urals 'looks a bit like a thingy' in full readiness

    Amazingly, as it's tip is in permafrost.

    Yet that bit above the 'n' in 'Scandinavian' looks like it's about to become a serious mouthful.

    Damn Ruskies....And damn you, Lester. I can never look at an atlas again with a straight face...!

  28. Keeees


    Looks like they've got at most 5 data points per country in the boob dept. Hardly significant...

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