back to article Interwebs stunned by musical atrocity

I'd really like to thank the Beeb this afternoon for flagging up Rebecca Black's Friday, which has become a bit of a hit down at iTunes despite provoking the desire to tear your ears off with pliers. "Fun, loving, 13 year old" Rebecca has proved that you can sell just about anything if you get a net buzz going, even if that …

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  1. Code Monkey
    Dead Vulture

    Quality Control

    You could have had some consideration for your readers (and a more curmudgeonly lot you'd be hard-pressed to find) and just, y'know, kept it to your damned selves!

    1. Lester Haines (Written by Reg staff) Gold badge

      Re: Quality Control

      Listen, the BBC inflicted it on me, so why shouldn't you lot suffer too?

      1. Someone Else Silver badge
        Coat

        Thank Ghod...

        ...we here in the Colonies don't have the Beeb "helping" us in that way.

        (We just have to deal with that infinite oxymoron, Fox News.)

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Pint

        "the BBC inflicted it on me, "

        I don't watch TV and listen to Radio 4 so I nearly missed it completely.

        So close but not close enough, dammit.

        Will beer stop me ears bleeding?

      3. adnim Silver badge

        Because

        more attention and free publicity is given to something which is best ignored.

  2. Chris Harden
    Unhappy

    No Comment

    Words...dont even....what????

    "Yesterday was Thursday, today is Friday, tomorrow is Saturday, and Sunday comes after!"

    Lyrical Genius!

    (hmm although, come to think about it - it's not too far from the Jackson 5s ABC)

    Scuse me, I need to go wash my ears with bleech.

    1. David Dawson
      Pint

      He who has ears to hear, let him hear.

      There ain't no such thing as mind bleach.

      Anyone know a cheap lobotomist?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Maybe not, but...

        There is always unicorn chaser.

        http://www.thinkgeek.com/stuff/41/unicorn-chaser.html

      2. hplasm Silver badge
        Pint

        Err...

        Diamond White?

    2. Jeremy 2
      Coat

       

      "Yesterday was Thursday, today is Friday, tomorrow is Saturday, and Sunday comes after!"

      Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings, is that you?!

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Coffee/keyboard

    Wow

    All my teeth have fallen out as a result it listening to that song.

    <--- keyboard vomit

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Thumb Down

      Autotune needs to be retired

      Finally a singer with worse Autotune excesses than that queen of American pop, Ke$ha, combined with a lyrical ability that makes the Soulja Boy rapper look like the Beatles!

  4. min

    ...apparently a title is required...

    i heard this thing for the first time last wednesday. it was painful, ruinous, nauseating stuff.. quite terrible.

    but then again, it taught me what order the days of the week go in. good, solid educational stuff from this thirteen year old prat.

    1. RichyS

      Bo selecta

      Personally, I learnt the days of the week from Craig David...

  5. TeeCee Gold badge
    Unhappy

    Spelling error.

    "...which has become a bit of a hit down at iTunes..."

    You seem to have dropped an "s" in there somewhere.....

  6. Anomalous Cowturd
    Grenade

    Bless her.

    Sounds like she has a bit of a cold.

    Take one of these, and go for a lie down.

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    and now the wikipedia entry

    There's been resistance on the grounds that she/the rendition just weren't "notable" though I suspect a few editors thought it was just plain crap idea to put her in the encyclopaedia-anyone-can-etc .

    That a certain high-waisted musical impressario thinks it is in anyway a good thing (the rendition not they wikipedia artticle) should be a warning shot across society's bows.

  8. Fred Goldstein

    One note wonder

    Even Lewis can't claim that putting this on the air is not harmful radiation!

    I'm impressed that they wrote a "tune" with a single note held over multiple bars, which is bad enough, but then ran her "voice" through an autotuner! She couldn't even hold one note?

  9. David 45

    'Orrible

    Stomach-churning stuff, indeed! Better than syrup-of-figs (old English remedy) for loosening all the dodgy intestinal bits.

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    'This video is not available in your country.'

    First time I've ever been glad to see that!

    1. KjetilS
      Unhappy

      @'This video is not available in your country.'

      I really wish the same was true for Norway :(

    2. Robert Carnegie Silver badge

      Does being famous for fifteen minutes qualify you for Wikipedia?

      Anyway if the condition of entry is to be "not able", then......

      I still haven't heard this song. I agree that it isn't dignified for adults to sneer at children.

      The radio version of [Dead Ringers] once had a sketch that imagined Anne Robinson from the [Weakest Link] game show judging the pictures her children had drawn that day at primary school and dismissing "The Weakest Child" from the family. The message was that it's a horrible thing to do.

      Then again, many years ago, possibly on the [Red Dwarf] writers' radio show [Son of Cliché], there was a sketch of an archaeologist viciously verbally ripping apart cave paintings, that at the time I thought I was brilliant. "This is cack. This is worse than that Egyptian cack..."

  11. Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse Silver badge
    Thumb Down

    I liked it.

    In the same way that I like having nails driven through my hands, feet, knees and testicles.

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Catchy

    but then again, so was the plague.

  13. Darryl
    Thumb Down

    EEEEWwwwwww

    "I was going through so much pain in my life and considered ending it all, but then I heard this song."

    Are you sure that wasn't a typo? Perhaps they meant:

    "I was going through so much pain in my life and considered ending it all, WHEN I heard this song."

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Unhappy

    This is a problem with 99c a tune

    It is not hard at all to spend the money on totally rubbish. Perhaps iTunes really has a damaging effect on the quality of the music in general.

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Another reason to rejoice at my separation...

    ...is that I no longer share a home with a teenager who will insist on playing crap like this on endless loop at high volume.

    This shit would give Bieber a toothache.

    Okay, I know I'm sounding a little like my Dad here, but the youth of today really don't seem to understand decent music; it's just whatever is cynically pushed at them as the next big thing, and they pass it on and play it as if it had any kind of merit...

    I despair, really I do...

    1. James Hughes 1

      it's not all bad out there

      Was in a pub on Sat night - band playing - lots of good rock, drummer did an amazing solo.

      Lead guitar was about 18, drummer was 13. Awesome.

      None of this pansy flapping shite in my local let me tell you. Until the band went off, and the yoof got hold of the juke box. Had to drink heavily from that point onwards.

      1. serviceWithASmile
        Thumb Up

        doubleplus

        it really isn't all that bad out there, it just seems that any music that ever required any kind of talent (or a real musical instrument - no autotune doesnt count) is being sidelined.

        it's not really, it's just that the talentless, vapid tools simon cowell keeps hiring make more noise and get more coverage - learn not to listen and you will hear the real and talented bands out there whose bond is not about money but about love for what they do. Not just talking about rock, the same is true for most if not all genres. pubs are generally the best place to find these people.

        If you too want quality music and have an innate distrust for the words "protools" and "MIDI" then follow my 3 easy steps for musical nirvana:

        1. don't watch x-factor

        a. avoid tv in general (optional but recommended)

        2. listen to internet radio

        3. go to small venues for gigs often

        a. have a pint (optional but recommended)

        follow these simple rules and a musically rich life shall be yours!

        is anybody running a rage-against-the-machine-for-christmas-number-one this year?

    2. HFoster

      Thing is...

      Every generation says that, but the fact of the matter is, we're all prone to rose tinting our youth. My mum often bangs on about songs from her day having good lyrics. I pointed out Toots & The Maytals "Bam Bam". Conversation over.

      I know for a fact that, in among all the screw-faced Jungle I listened to as a teen, was more than a few cheesily bad songs.

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    The words.....

    ..."Vogon" and "poetry" spring to mind for some reason!

  17. GuyC
    Stop

    Enough Already

    Thankfully I'm tone deaf, but even then it was starting to get to me....I'm gonna go lie down and listen to the hamster dance

  18. Dan Price
    Grenade

    Ouch.

    I managed to put up with it for 49 seconds before I suffered a spontaneous epistaxis. Delightful.

  19. Robert Carnegie Silver badge

    I haven't heard it.

    But I'm quite worried about the new series of [Russell Howard's Good News], on BBC Three.

    1. '); DROP TABLE comments; --
      Thumb Up

      But...

      ...even Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings' dead duck poem is a lyrical masterpiece compared to this!

  20. peter 5 Silver badge

    Okay people

    Time to admit the track you paused in order to listen to Becca. Consider it a spot test of your of musical taste. And no cheating either. My shuffle had reached Missy Higgins: This is how it goes.

    1. Paul Owen 1
      WTF?

      Death metal

      Saw this on FB this morning and didn't know what it was parodying, as until about 10mins ago I hadn't suffered the indignity of hearing the 'original' - and I wish I still hadn't.

      That said, I quite like the parody http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pi00ykRg_5c

      Enjoy!

  21. nichomach
    Grenade

    Link should only have been posted...

    ...with a "Not Safe For Anywhere" warning.

  22. Jeremy 2
    Grenade

    I managed...

    ...58 seconds. I deserve a bloody medal.

    <~~ because even that would be more tuneful.

  23. Proud Father
    Thumb Up

    I am pleased to announce...

    ...that not all teenagers are like this:

    "...is that I no longer share a home with a teenager who will insist on playing crap like this on endless loop at high volume."

    My teenage daughter heard this and promptly denounced it as total crap.

    Good girl.

  24. jimbarter
    Stop

    The title is required, and must contain letters and/or digits.

    Nothing new hear (sic) birdy song, no one quite like grandma, grandad etc.

    Move along please

  25. Pypes
    Stop

    Sod the aweful song

    What the hell is a "13 year old girl" doing riding in the back of a convertible with her "friends", tarted up like a cheap whore with designs on spending her weekend "partying?"

    1. ravenviz
      Alert

      Re: sod the aweful [sic] song

      Also the association with some mid-30's guy in his flashy car and huge watch is a bit worrying...

      1. min

        RE: sod the awful song.

        is the older geezer with watch and terrible rap not Usher's dad?

  26. Chris Gregory
    WTF?

    Poor old autotuner . . .

    Bet it had to go and have a long cool down after processing this one

  27. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    real life rating

    When smartphones with object recognition get integrated into glasses some bright spark will create software for it that will enable you to comment on and "thumb up" or "thumb down" real world objects - such as places, buildings and people.

    Watching tv and looking at famous people/places/events will never be the same with those glasses. Can't wait to to read the comments!

  28. KevinLewis
    Unhappy

    I feel ill

    And it's only Monday.. Monday, Monday, yesterday was Sunday Sunday, tommorrow only Tuesday Tuesday then comes the next day...

    As they say in the states... I need to BARF.

  29. Johnny Canuck

    This is not a title

    My favorite quote!

    "'Forget Bieber fever, I have the Black Plague"

  30. Mostor Astrakan
    Thumb Up

    Oh come on...

    It isn't that bad when you turn down the volume as low as it will go. It's a cute girl imitating a goldfish. I bet you, if Beethoven had been around at the time, it would have cheered him up no end, and convinced him that his ironic condition could be a source of joy as well as sadness. And she got the days of the week in their proper order too, producing a work of chronological excellence. After all, even the Mamas and the Papas didn't dare go beyond monday, the Bangles famously put "Sunday" *behind* "Monday", to universal ridicule. All you haters simply don't understand the deeper meaning of this piece. The passing of time. The reflection upon the fragility of existence. Philistines!

  31. Anonymous Coward
    Stop

    Youtube

    I think a lot of this song has taken inspiration from Youtube spoof videos.

    The lyrics do follow the form of quite a lot of the parodies that are around, same aswell for the type of video.

    What surprises/confuses me is that she is friends with people who can drive and at one point drives off in a car. She is 13. Also a lot of this seems to go around about "partying" on the weekend.

    Partying at the age of 13 is quite a lot different...

    1. Stratman

      title

      Been done already. The Merseybeats "Friday on my Mind" also managed to correctly order the days of the (working) week.

      1. Richard Cassidy

        Merseybeats?

        No - the Easybeats, surely.

        Australia's greatest contribution to pop music.

        1. Lester Haines (Written by Reg staff) Gold badge

          Re: Merseybeats?

          Correct, although a quick shufti at the lyrics indicates the band left out Saturday and Sunday completely, thereby creating the musical five day week.

      2. ravenviz
        Happy

        Re: title

        How about Friday I'm in love by The Cure?

    2. ravenviz
      Thumb Up

      Re: Youtube

      Mmm, jelly! :-D

  32. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Really that bad?

    Is it really that bad when compared to the rubbish that fills the British music charts week after week. How many 'guest' rap fillers are dropped into songs to fill them these days, how many endless self-named 'stars' do we have chanting their way through a 'song' consisting of not more than a clap machine, a snare and a bit of auto-tune?

    When the British music industry votes the likes of Tiny Talent as best song when half of it is cut because of foul content can we really be that hard on this?

  33. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    a title is required

    I found that I lost interest after my load was spent. Well, it's almost Friday.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Coat

      re: Really that bad?

      too true... but...

      has anyone made as far as the inspired "bridge" :-

      yesterday was thursday (thursday)

      today it is friday (friday)

      we we we so excited

      we so excited

      we going to have a ball today

      tomorrow is saturday

      sunday comes afterwards

      i dont want this weekend to end

      even the regular chart trash can't match that for lyrical excellence...

  34. The Beer Monster

    There's only 3 sorts of music

    1) The stuff you like

    2) The stuff you don't

    3) The stuff you haven't heard yet.

    On the back of other's comments, I have decided that this particular track should stay as a 3 for me. I shall desist from clicking on any links, watching TV, listening to the radio, going out...

    1. Chad H.

      You missed one

      Namely 4) The stuff that should never be heard. Namely this woman's "singing", and mine.

      Marlee Matlin sings better - and She's deaf!

      1. The Beer Monster
        Happy

        No

        There is no 4.

        4 relies on your opinion, not mine.

        In order for me to have an opinion on it, I would have to listen to it, so it could be a 1 or a 2.

        But I am not going to listen to it.

        Therefore it is a 3.

    2. regreader007

      Correction

      Sorry Beer Monster, but there are only 2 types of music. Good and Bad. This is the later.

      1. The Beer Monster
        WTF?

        I think...

        ... you miss the point.

        1. BorkedAgain

          You have an excellent point, Mr Monster...

          ...but really, this does deserve a category all its own. Maybe:

          4. Music you have been warned to keep a category 3.

          (Walks away quietly, while people figure that out...)

  35. Peter Gathercole Silver badge

    Come on. It's really not monotone

    I found most of a single scale in the 'song', at least seven notes, although most of the song stays on the three notes of a major chord.

    I think many of the readers here ought to listen to the 'singles' chart nowadays, because they will be appalled by what is counted as music by the people who actually buy it in volume. I must admit, however, that I was intrigued yesterday to hear two versions of Adele's Someone like you (the normal version and the Brits version - both head and shoulders better than much of the rest) on the chart at the same time.

    Autotune, whether it is required or not, is added to the vocal in it's most intrusive, buzzy manner for effect on so many songs now. I hesitate to say this, but JLS who obviously can sing a bit (no autotune allowed on X-factor live performances after all) have it on most of their songs now.

    I do wonder what a 13 year old girl will be doing while "gettin it down" and which makes "we so excited" (sic) while "partying" which is legal! Sex and drugs and alcohol should all be out.

    Anyway, I have to decide whether to listen to Planet Rock or Radio 3 on my way home to flush this meaningless and annoying fluff from my mental musical cache.

  36. Dom 3

    It's an effect.

    Much sneering about autotune with the implication that she can't keep a tune. Well, she probably can't, but that heavily vocoded sound is a legitimate studio effect. Even if you don't like it.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Yes...

      Thank Cher for the Vocoder... Well actually thank Kraftwerk, I believe they were the first to use a vocoder in released music (Autobhan, IIRC).

      It's not autotune though, as far as I can tell.

      1. Munchausen By Taxi

        But No...

        That's definitely auto-tune (or pitch correction). Apart from the superhuman levels of hitting the right note exactly, the timbre quality still sounds like a human voice (although there's probably some post-pitch correction filtering in there).

        Even the best vocoders out there couldn't get that right.

        Still... AUUUUUU TOOOOOO BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHNNNNNNNNNNNNNN.....

        (Ooh. Think I'll listen to that now. Classic.)

  37. Chad H.
    WTF?

    Looking at the signs

    We've had flood and cyclones in Australia, Earthquakes in New Zealand and Japan (not to mention the nuclear disaster) and rioting and wars in the Middle east. And now this....

    Mr Horsemen..... I think you've missed your queue.

  38. Ally J
    Paris Hilton

    For $2,000, you can have a go, too

    No, at making your own song. This has been churned out as a vanity project by some outfit that specialises in, well, churning out songs featuring the children of the people prepared to pay them money. It's a sign of the perverseness of the universe that this song has become a 'hit' despite having nothing to recommend it.

    (I'm told there is an acoustic version available for all us haters who think it's all been autotuned to excess and that Rebecca Black can't sing. Hoorah.)

    Paris, because money doesn't buy talent.

    1. Youngdog
      Unhappy

      Just heard the acoustic version...

      ..and unbelievably she sounded EXACTLY THE SAME AS THE VIDEO!!!

      No vocodation, no autotuning required - that noise you hear is in fact her singing.

      1. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

        Re: Just heard the acoustic version...

        Er, I think that may perhaps not be an authentic acoustic version.

        1. Youngdog

          Re: Re: Just heard the acoustic version

          Really? Apart from a little tweaking where she says 'friends' I couldn't tell the difference

          http://tinyurl.com/46jeu4v

  39. paulc
    Thumb Up

    nothing wrong with this...

    and my musical tastes are very catholic, but I know cr@p when I hear it and this, believe it or not, is NOT cr@p...

    Signed, a normally curmudgeonly 54 year old ex-punk...

  40. TonyHoyle

    Meh

    It's actually about the same level of crapness as half the charts are at the moment, so it'll probably do well.

    Any 'singer' who requires *that* much processing on their voice to even keep a monotone going is pretty much a lost cause, though.

  41. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Down

    I don't listen to pop music radio...

    ... but when I go to the jobcentre/agency this week I probably will. They like that sort of thing. Until I had a while of listening to pop radio *solely because I was there*, I hadn't even become aware of the autotune fad. This looks to be twenty time worse :(

  42. Eiron Foyer

    'Worst' is a big word.

    Whilst the song certainly deserves consideration for the ‘Worst song ever’ – I would like to point out that there are other contenders. Have your readers, for example, contemplated this one ?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kGESxjqHf7E

    Best regards, Eiron Foyer.

    1. camnai

      Pullover and stop

      Thanks. I'd never heard this one before.

    2. BorkedAgain

      Which leads me nicely into...

      Where's me Jumper?

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jxmZZBJQAKM

      (I do like this one... :)

      "It's alright to say things can only get better, but you haven't lost your brand new sweater..."

  43. Will Godfrey Silver badge
    Happy

    Fortunately

    I had sufficient warning and avoided this completely, but seeing as these days I avoid all commercially promoted air vibrating that wasn't difficult..

    If I want to hear music I go to a venue dedicated to the process, or alternatively fetch some very high quality Creative Commons compositions from the 'net.

  44. Anonymous Coward
    Stop

    EPIC MULLET GUY Covers Rebecca Blacks Friday

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iw8IEd3LDzg

    For the love of sanity, Why?

  45. Matt D

    But there's always someone to do it better.

    Matt Mulholland, via BoingBoing http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hxleH60hDJY

  46. TheOtherHobbbes
    Dead Vulture

    The song is neither here nor there

    The fact that she looks like a robot doll with dead eyes is infinitely more disturbing.

    Has it suddenly become possible to autotune people now?

  47. tom 24
    Grenade

    Why oh why did I click Play?

    I may never forgive El Reg for posting this video, or myself for clicking on it.

    Calling this track "derivative" would be like calling the music it copies "derivative." In fact, trying to describe the lameness of this track is as pointless as the track itself.

    Oh man, that one stung.

  48. Anonymous Coward
    Grenade

    Friday Analysis

    Someone noticed a rather interesting angle on the song that hadn't initially occurred to me.

    Screenshots: http://i.imgur.com/y8U3i.jpg

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Happy

      TL; DR

      but thanks for your effort.

  49. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Hmm...

    I find adults queuing up to slag off young teenagers one of the more distasteful aspects of the Internet and it's been vastly increased by You Tube.

    She's 13, she wrote a song, five or ten years ago maybe a few friends would hear it at school, maybe she'd get to perform it once in a talent show. Now, she writes a tune, it gets picked up from you tube and 'goes viral' with lots of oh-so-smart people who probably couldn't do as well themselves laughing at how bad it is. GROW UP!

    If the global slagging-off doesn't crush her spirit, she may be actually turn out to be quite good. Everyone has to start somewhere and it's pretty much unheard of for someone to start off being excellent. Have any of you played a musical instrument or been in a band? Did you start good? No, thought not.

    1. Fat Bob

      Did I start off good?

      No, but I made very sure I was at least capable before I inflicted my own form of audio misery on the planet.

    2. Sean Baggaley 1
      WTF?

      "If the global slagging-off doesn't crush her spirit..."

      ... I'd be more than happy to finish the job.

      Sorry, but it's just not very good from an objective standpoint. There *are* objective metrics one can use to discuss someone's skills in a craft, and the craft of musical performance is no exception.

      In this case, the singer's skills are difficult to analyse due to the heavy processing—a technique popular in current popular music, so this shouldn't really count against it. (Sometimes it works; sometimes it doesn't. This decision, at least, is subjective.)

      The video is nothing to write home about. Editing and directing choices play a large part in how she is portrayed, so the most one can say about the singer's performance is that far worse examples of the genre exist. However, it is clear that this video was produced by a team, not by a typical amateur individual. There's motion graphics, match-cuts and so on. This is, technically at least, competent. This is hardly a big surprise given how far desktop video has come, but the resulting video is monotonous and derivative stylistically. Whoever directed this tired cliché is certainly no Ridley Scott or Edgar Wright.

      The lyrics are truly awful. Their subject matter, as others have pointed out, is also downright disturbing: she's singing the kinds of lyrics one would expect to hear from some of the more promiscuous rappers twice her age. It certainly isn't the kind of thing you'd expect to hear from a 13-year-old girl. Her judgement seems rather lacking. (As does that of her parent(s) or guardian(s).)

      On the other hand, I've heard worse music.

      From a commercial perspective, it's much better to have a star who can sing tolerably well and is willing to give up having anything resembling a social life in order to go on endless tours, interviews, photo shoots and the like, than to have someone who has an awesome voice, but who gets travel-sick at the mere sight of a road, let alone a tour bus and hates going more than 50 yards from his home studio. This is just business. The music labels invest hundreds of thousands of dollars in marketing alone, all at their own risk. There are no guarantees that their future star will earn that investment back, let alone make a profit. And the one thing they do know is marketing.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Where's that queue then?

      plenty of kids out there that need a reality check, and their parents too. I can't believe that her parents hired a company, Ark Music Factory, to produce the song. That company needs a good slagging off too.

    4. The Fuzzy Wotnot
      Pint

      I think you're right, yes it;s great she's putting in some time but...

      Many moons ago you would learn to play or sing, get some mates together, then play a few gigs, see if it worked out. If it started happening you'd get serious start organising yourselves, get around to more clubs start bugging record companies and finally get a load of fans. Finally after a year or two you might get some attention, back on the circuit, bigger clubs more hard graft. After 3-4 years you might be playing 1,000+ places and selling loads of records. If your record company is OK they will keep fronting cash up, even see you through that tragic second album that is always pants. One day you will have earned the fame and fortune, swimming pool full of drugs or blue M&Ms!

      These days, you write a crap song, sing it in a crap way, over process it. Appear on YouTube/X-Factor and have a career in 2 months flat! After 6 months your career is fucked and you're dreams are dead in the water 'cos something better comes along that's cuter and nicer that you, as you are now considered a has-been!

      OK?

      Real music is made by real mucisians who graft, playing shitty dives to 10 people on Friday night for maybe enough to cover the petrol to get there. You work and work to build up a following and a reputation, spending 9 months of the year stuck in a transit all the time learning how much you want to be a professional mucisian and how badly you want your dream. I support rock and metal bands, by going to those shitty clubs and buying CD's and shirts from the band's girlfriends at the door of the gig, making sure they know they are being supported by people who genuinely care about them making music they want to hear.

  50. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    'king hell

    Sounds like a Dalek on crack

  51. Chris Haynes
    Stop

    OMG!

    Bieber has had her hair cut. Bl00dy lesbian.

  52. FozzyBear Silver badge

    I do have to share

    My son 10 years old enjoys differing music from AC/DC to a little classical. Over the weekend whilst watching TV beiber came on. With as much seriousness he could muster he turned to me and said quote unquote

    “Dad turn it over this silly bitch can’t sing!”

    It was one of the proudest moments ever, It also took me about 5 minutes to pick myself off the floor and chastise him for his use of bad language

    Honestly I have no fuckin’ idea where he picks up that sort of language

    1. The Fuzzy Wotnot
      Thumb Up

      Well said!

      There is hope for some of the new generation, with people who care about real music teaching kids that there is something more than being spoon-fed chart drivel or one-hit wonders from YouTube! Well done sir!

      I went to a club the other day and there was a prog death-metal band on, combined age of all 5 of them must have been about the same age as my old 70 year olf dad! On keyboards was this young girl who looked all of 14 or 15 years old, she looked absolutely terrified to be up there while a bunch of metal heads stared at her and her band, but she was still up there and still playing with her mates, with passion for the music she obviously loves. She was not looking for an easy way to make it, writing crap and getting an instant career, these kids were grafting in dingy dives as the bottom end of the support band list, as it should be done by real mucisians.

      So there is hope!

  53. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    oral ministrations

    There must be a way to shut her up.

    Getting coat and walking self to chokey now.

  54. zen1
    Pint

    Re: Mostor Astrakan

    Mercifully, Beethoven was deaf, and now dead. The lucky bastard!

  55. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    what's all fuss?

    I can't tell the difference between that and all the other sh1t I hear on the radio.

  56. Demosthenese

    Managed 30 seconds before hitting the mute

    Sounds like most of the crap that is punted at the lowest common denominator. Worst song ever? Probably not.

    1. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

      Re: Managed 30 seconds before hitting the mute

      Ah but you don't realise the songwriting craft that goes into the stuff that offends your ears. Just as The Sun is written and put together by very clever people, so the kind of pop you find incredibly dumb is made by very musical people. Honest. This is a cut below.

      But it is essentially the musical equivalent of a Moonpig card, so in some ways it's unfair to compare it to 'proper' pop made by real pros. The poor kid certainly isn't a pro, and as such I think she did OK, mind-bogglingly awful as the song is. Apparently she can sing pretty well - they just autotuned her to hell.

  57. 42
    Grenade

    I find it interesting

    Most of the young people I know by the time they reach 16-17 prefer the music of the 60, 70s, and 80s. Since then the entire music industry has been a garbage recycling company.

    Fat Bob has the right idea!

  58. Anonymous Coward
    Megaphone

    Ringing in my ears

    I'd rather sit in an acoustically dampened room and listen to my tinnitus (which sounds amplified when there are no other sounds around to hear) than listen to that atrocity ever again in my entire life.

    Someone needs to put a hit out on the autotune software writers and users - or at least lock them in a room and force them to listen to trash like Rebecca Black, Aqua etc. on a loop 24hours a day for a couple of years.

  59. Loki 1

    Good parody

    Thought the black guy was rather creepy to be in this vid, so good to see parody picked up on this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Chelwb6Ja4&feature=related

  60. Dr Patrick J R Harkin

    That isn't her real voice.

    She's miming to a track by Stephen Hawking.

    1. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

      Re: That isn't her real voice.

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=89jt7zJzkNQ

  61. Anonymous Coward
    Happy

    Mall-rat!

    Puts me in mind of the late, great Bill Hicks and his little skit about Tiffany and Debbie Gibson being locked in a studio with Jimmy Hendrix!

    " 'Shake my love.' yeah Debbie, what love you going to shake, yer only just finished puberty?! Go anywhere near Jimmy and he'll shake your love right off. "Mountain...chop it down with the back 'o my hand! *wheee...buuzzzz...wanger...shoooom*, 'MOMMY! LET ME OUT!!!!'. Fucking mall-rat, foetus, get back to yer baby-sitting stint, come back you've got something worth hearing! "

  62. Dinky Carter

    Dreadful though it is...

    ... at least she got off her arse and tried to create something. And now she's famous and coining it in on iTunes! And it's really not so much worse that the unbelievable poppy / "R'n'B" dross that's been excreted in recent years by music industry professionals. *They* at least should know better.

  63. squilookle

    It;'s bad

    But it's nothing new. Crap like this has been produce in every decade since records could be mass produced. When you look back, you don't realise it, because that crap gets forgotten. We only play the good stuff from the 60's/70's/80's, thinking it was some kind of golden age for music that only spawned great stuff like the Beatles and Queen.

    Also, as stupid as the lyrics might be, the whole thing smacks of marketing genius. I nearly fell for it myself by posting it on Facebook, because I thought my friends wouldn't believe how bad it is, they would have to hear it for themselves. Then I realised that posting it on Facebook is what the people who released the song *want* me to do, because that is how it spreads.

  64. Mark Leaver
    Grenade

    Argh...

    This and Whip my hair by willow smith just goes to prove that there is a limit to talent. Unfortunately in todays internet/media stardom based society... even having a severe lack of talent doesnt prevent you from becoming famous.

  65. ShaggyDoggy

    Pop music

    If you think this is rubbish, you have lost track of what pop music is all about

  66. bugalugs

    Dear Sarah,

    thankyou for defending the warbler. And for the MC Hawking link, which was awesome. As the father of a girl Miss Black's age I must concur with those of my fellow commentards noting that this um piece and its accompanying video may be quite inappropriate as an ouvré for her career. She may be able to hold A Note but it's a bit like The Beatles starting off with " Rain " as a smash hit instead of " Love Me Do ". Six months and we'll see anyway, eh ?

    Frankly, both " Friday " and " Rain " are a bit dirge-ish, though the latter has many more notes, some nice harmony and live drumming, all of which are conspicuously absent in Miss Black's effort. I freely confess to having Once written and performed a number even more boring and tedious than either, which I had forgotten all about till now. I hope my audience has as well. I apologise also for the very small part I may have played in the development of tune-able synthetic drumming in the late 60's - I had no idea it would come to this. I would like to take this opportunity to thank the nice people at adobe who included " stop download " in the right-click context menu for the flash player. Some band-width saved at least. Rock on sister.

    kind regards, bugs

  67. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Popular? Really? Like David Cameron's popular?

    A lot of people have seen the video, but that doesn't mean it's popular.

    Of the 281,603 people who could be bothered to vote only 10.5% (29,576 people) said they liked it. And it's been confirmed using science that that 10.5% had all taken a wide variety of hallucinogens before watching the video and didn't know what they were doing.

    Anyway this is more like my morning. And it doesn't involve "gotta get my bowl, gotta have cereal" which is surely the worst lyric I have ever read in my life.

    7am waking up in the morning

    Gotta have a piss, better go downstairs

    There was that time where I pissed in the wardrobe

    But we try to avoid talking about that incident

    Tinkly sounds relieve the darkness

    And my bladder feels less full

    Better feed the cat and empty the cat shit

    Now I've missed the bus and it's pissing down

    Waving at the driver

    Yes, you're a wanker

    Yes that's right

    You saw me and drove off

    It's Friday, Friday

    And that's just a work day

    It might be the last day of the week

    But it's not the weekend yet

    It's not like my boss is going to allow me to dick around

    Just because I get a day off tomorrow.

    ...

    I'd write more but I can't be arsed.

  68. Gritzwally Philbin
    Paris Hilton

    Why, oh why didn't I take the blue pill?

    I'll see this and raise it one Muhammad Ali song.. yipes..

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