Not a headline for people with lisps
Mine's the one with the cope of EMACS in the pocket...
A small hamlet in Surrey has been left reeling after a knife-wielding thief stole a whole top shelf's load of adult magazines. The masked raider struck the shop cum post office in Gomshall on Tuesday afternoon, the Surrey Advertiser reports. He first demanded money from the shop keeper, who resisted until he was pushed with a …
I buy jazz mags sometimes. One of them is actually called "Jazz Magazine" and it merged with the rival Jazzman some time ago. I sometimes read the articles but I mostly buy them for the cd/album reviews and the programmes of the summer jazz festivals. Jazz festivals are as much fun as they sound.
"Surrey is *England's* most wooded county, there are far woodier bits of Scotland!"
You miss the point; the writer was referring to the fact that Surrey has got more wood than any other county. High consumption of Bolivian marching powder in Surrey may have something to do with that.
Since the population of Scotland is said to be 5,168,500 (http://www.scotland.org/facts/population/) and a recent calculation for the population of Surrey is 1,113,100 (http://www.surreycc.gov.uk/sccwebsite/sccwspages.nsf/LookupWebPagesByTITLE_RTF/2009+mid-year+estimates+of+population?opendocument) I contend that Surrey is indeed more densely wooded than Scotland. Indeed, soon Surrey will invade Scotland in pursuit of more lebensraum. Watch out Scotland.
From the Article:-
<Last week a burglar snatched thousands of pounds from the tearooms in Abinger Hammer>
How the hell do you get thousands of pounds from a tearoom? I'd be expecting to be at a loss to get change for sixpence for a cuppa.
The place is a fuc*king village, FFS, that's so poor and destitute it can't even afford to repair its famous clock*.
Thousands of three-penny-bits would even be stretching it.
Not so much a town as a village. When I lived nearby I was amused to see coachloads of Japanese tourists disembark and peer through the windows of old worlde cottages. Dog knows what they thought they would see. Shakespeare maybe, or perhaps the secret of life.
Anyhow, back to the point, it is a very affluent area, and property is very expensive. Apathy is probably the reason for inability to repair the clock, if indeed that is true.
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