back to article Wii Countdown conundrum brands family 'SH*THEADS'

An "outraged" mum has recounted how a Wii game based on Channel 4's Countdown blasted SHITHEADS into the innocent face of her wide-eyed sprog. The Sun explains that Victoria Smith and son Oliver were enjoying some Nintendo wordplay in their Hampstead home when the "conundrum" SHAHSITED clicked over to give them an eyeful of …


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  1. LinkOfHyrule

    Dudah, dudah, dudahdudah, boooo!

    This is funny! All that needs to be said!

  2. JDX Gold badge

    Lucky kid

    Having parents who were so attentive to his needs to leave it on the screen so he could stand in front of it, after earlier being rushed out for fear of his soul being corrupted.

  3. Z 1


    Shit happens

  4. James O'Shea Silver badge

    think about what?

    me old cock?

    <exits to the tune of pipers playing 'Cock o' the North'>

  5. Sir Adam-All
    Thumb Up


    Thats just megga !

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    and here i was, thinking only the merkins where so tight arsed...

  7. Real Name

    Wait till he gets to school

    Shitheads will be the least of their issues.

  8. Anthony Hulse

    How middle class?

    Daniel and Victoria from Hampstead were building up their son Oliver's word bank? Something tells me they read the Guardian and listen to Radio 4.

  9. Mr Larrington

    In the British Army...

    ...there at eleven officially recognised types of fucking idiot and Mrs Smith is at least eight of them.

  10. Anonymous Coward


    ...does selling this story complete with a picture of me grinning make you and daddy sh*theads?

    Or can I play the game some more until I have "media whores" in my "wordbank"?

  11. E-Penguin

    word bank?

    "Vocabulary" would be a fine addition to the mother's "word bank"...

  12. Maverick

    how did he escape ?

    . . . from Middle Earth?

    1. The BigYin

      So would...


      And if the kid is so bright....

      1) Why does he need to increase his "word bank"

      2) I would assert that long-reading would do a better job

      3) What makes her think he is not already perfectly aware of the word "shit"?

    2. JohnG

      Re: How middle class?

      "Daniel and Victoria from Hampstead were building up their son Oliver's word bank? Something tells me they read the Guardian and listen to Radio 4."

      But it was The Sun that they called, they of the Page 3 jubs. I didn't know one could even buy The Sun in Hampstead - I thought this was strictly a Daily Telegraph, Financial Times or Jewish Chronicle area.

      The other thing that surprised me was the remarkably sensible responses in the article comments in The Sun.

      1. Jerome 0

        The Sun

        "But it was The Sun that they called, they of the Page 3 jubs."

        Perhaps they'd already tried to sell the story to The Guardian, Observer, Telegraph, Times, Independent, Express, Mail and Mirror, all to no avail.

        If the Sun had turned them down, they'd have moved onto the News of the World, the Star, the Sport and possibly even Channel 5 News.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      You're right

      but he has "home-schooled" written all over him, poor little s*d

    4. The Fuzzy Wotnot


      Well she will put the words in. Then when he gets to boarding school and starts sticking £500/weeks worth of Columbia's finest up his snout, the words will slowly "evaporate" just like your savings in a real bank!

    5. Jedit

      Never going to happen...

      ... "vocabulary" has ten letters, and Countdown Conundrums only have nine.

  13. Miek

    Traumatised, totally

    That kid looks like he knew what that word meant already.

  14. Just Thinking

    Looking for new words?

    Here's one - vocabulary. He could add that to his "word bank".

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "Word bank" ????

    Perhaps "Vocabulary" could be deposited as well?

  16. Tony 32
    Paris Hilton

    Goes to online Cambridge Dictionary

    Just like the Bible the English Dictionary contains some entries not suitable for all.

    shithead /noun/

    /ˈʃit.hed/ n [C] offensive


    a stupid, unpleasant and unpopular person

    That little shithead has screwed things up again.

    (Definition of shithead noun from the Cambridge Advanced Learner's Dictionary)

  17. tommy060289

    Parents these days

    Really can't wait to find the slightest thing wrong with anything today so they can make out it's corrupting the youth and try and get a payout or at least something free. Let's be honest though, 'papers' like the scum really can't wait for story's like this to make as much fuss as possible ofer nothing. I wouldn't be surprised if the kid wasn't even playing the game and they found it and realised they could add the two together!

    I suppose that xbox is so little Jimmy can improve his 'athletics abilities and dexterity' on xbox kinect.

    Also, mega lols at "being rushed out the room" as if hardcore s&m came on in the middle of Thomas the tank

  18. Sorry that handle is already taken. Silver badge

    Rushed him from the room?

    Must have been some danger the kid was in.

  19. Adrian Challinor
    Paris Hilton

    Oh really?

    So they rushed young traumatised Oliver out, but left the word on the screen until the Red Top snapper could get there and record the offending word for posterity?

    Can any one smell photoshop coming in to play here?

    And perhaps a nice little payyout to the money grubbing parents?

    Obviously Paris, she has so much experience of working with the game makers, or maybe their namesakes.

  20. Anonymous Coward

    Quick - call mumsnet

    this is the filth on the internet* we have to stamp out ...

    *deliberate conflation for comic effect highlighting most peoples understanding of technology

  21. Paul Durrant

    Utterly Disgraceful

    I thought plurals weren't allowed!

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      re: mega lols at "being rushed out the room"

      Let's see, do we rush around making a disproportionate fuss and possibly upsetting the kid (or at least making the event sufficiently memorable that he might use it in the future to press his dumb parents' buttons) or just switch the telly off? Hmm ...

  22. Anonymous Coward

    Well it made me laugh...

    From The Sun website: "...Channel 4 declined to comment yesterday, as did the company who make the game, Koch." Well it made me laugh, anyway! Although, not as much as the video clip with the vicars. Search for "countdown vicars" on YouTube (NSFW)

  23. HP Cynic

    Bank This

    If he's "really bright" then his "word bank" will already be fully stocked with far worse insults learned in the playground or the mean streets of Hampstead (hehe).

    A lady at work was telling us just the other day how her 4-year old came from school to announce that he now new the word "Motherf**ker".

    At least he's starting at the top!

    1. The Fuzzy Wotnot


      Yep, my 7 year old pulled two choice words out the other day, we had the f-word and she also stated that someone at school was "pissed off". At which point the list of words which she shouldn't use (yet!) was expanded slightly!

      I'm sure when we hit the wonderful teen-tantrum years these two quaint little words will seem like beautiful sonnets compared to what to we'll be subjected to! What joy!

  24. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    To be fair if he really is a bright kid.

    Then a good deployment of 'Shitheads' is going to be pretty much essential at some point in his life.

  25. Anonymous Coward

    Its the rise of the machines

    Clearly the Wii has developed cognitive reasoning and can now communicate with its organic network components.

    Its merely advising them of the position they hold in the hierachy.

    Clearly the Wii heard them using the term "word bank" and let its true feelings be known!

  26. JohnG

    The Sun, guardians of our morals

    After Victoria shows little Oliver his picture and the related article in The Sun, is she going to let him check out the Bulgarian airbags on page 3?

  27. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Willy Wonka called...

    ...he wants his small man back please!

  28. twunt

    He looks like

    Bill Murray

  29. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Re: Don't even think about it

    I didn't, but "tight-lipped", now there's a thought.

  30. Anonymous Coward

    Bit of a contradiction methinks

    They obviously read the Sun. So, why would this cause them concern? Although, the fact of the matter is if a game is suitable for children, then there should not be any offensive words in the dictionary. Calling the Sun newspaper is what makes them hypocrites.

  31. Jason Hall

    Feel sorry for the poor husband (& son)

    "He was already asking what the word meant. My husband Daniel had to rush him out of the room."

    That must be some damn depressed man - being so far under the thumb of his wife, that he wouldn't just sit there laughing his ass off.

  32. LuMan


    Looking at the photo on the Sun website I'm not surprised the lad's traumatised. His folks have splashed out on a Wii and an Xbox 360 and force the poor little mite to play them through a crappy CRT tele that's not even widescreen!

    They should be bloody well locked up, the heartless bastards!

    1. hplasm Silver badge

      Calling The Sun

      a newspaper makes us all hypocrites!

    2. The Fuzzy Wotnot

      Kid's a moron!

      If he doesn't know what it means now, after this neat little PR stunt, you can bet his classmates will make sure he knows it and how f**king stupid his parents are for trying to hide it!

      You take any typical 8 year old and you get any or all of the following after they discover a rude word:

      Mum/Dad what does XYZ mean?

      Why can't I say it?

      XYZ! XYZ!

      My friend says it all the time! They're Mum doesn't mind!

      Is is really rude? How rude?

      Is it as bad as ABC?

      I heard Mum/Dad/Grandad/Aunt say it last week!

      Does it mean such and such?

      1. Jason Hall


        Agree completely.

        My 9 year old daughter has heard just about every swearword that I have, and thinks that "they are just words - what's all the fuss?"

        She understands that words have power, and that some words can make people feel bad when used 'against' them.

        Sorted. Where's the problem?

        If she ever hears something she doesn't understand - she asks me or her mum.

        Any child that gets rushed from the room if a naughty word is revealed/overheard is going to have a VERY tough time later in life.


    3. Swiss

      I agree, but...

      You have also made a blundering contradiction by calling the Sun a newspaper!

      1. Anonymous Coward

        Ah, but...

        That was a mistype. I accept. Just look up tabloid watch :-)

  33. Anonymous Coward

    Ho ho ho

    It will be very if it turns out they got a dodgy iso from somewhere

  34. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    life imitating art

    one of those times when the word randomly chosen is entirely appropriate.

  35. Christian Berger Silver badge

    What worries me more...

    That TV.-set seems to have considerable deflection problems, maybe caused by some slowly failing electrolytic capacitor. If it fails, it's certainly scarier than "sh*thead". (Those parts typically fail fairly spectacularly)

    To bad there's no computer game version of Numberwang.

  36. Robert Carnegie Silver badge


    Countdown for Wii is rated PEGI 3. "The content of games given this rating is considered suitable for all age groups. Some violence in a comical context (typically Bugs Bunny or Tom & Jerry cartoon-like forms of violence) is acceptable. The child should not be able to associate the character on the screen with real life characters, they should be totally fantasy. The game should not contain any sounds or pictures that are likely to scare or frighten young children. No bad language should be heard and there should be no scenes containing nudity nor any reference to sexual activity."

    Technically, I think if the game didn't SAY OUT LOUD "shitheads", it passes, but in a longer specification there's probably "...or seen written down". Or there ought to be.

    But I'm sceptical of the whole story. It's the bloody Sun, it's full of TISH every day.

  37. Cameron Colley

    "rushed him out of hte room"?

    Why the fuck* did they have to do that? The simplest answer to his question of "What does that word mean mommy?" would have been "It's a naughty word, so it shouldn't really be there. Let's see what the next word is.". It might not be ideal for a kid to know the word but he'll learn far worse and words don't actually cause harm.

    *I don't have to swear but am given to understand that it is so shocking children have to be removed from rooms when it occurs so it must be big, hard and clever.

  38. Simon Day

    Not the worst thats come from the show

    I think this is a classic personally

  39. yoinkster


    Shithead is one of the greatest card games ever invented. The witch could've simply explained that shitheads are people who play shithead.

    I wonder if the kid asked "what's a shit-head" or whether he said "what's a shith-eed"

  40. Doug Glass

    Mum should be glad it wasn't ...


    1. Baskitcaise

      whether he said "what's a shith-eed"

      Is that said in a Kryten type voice?

    2. Anonymous Coward

      Clean screen please!


  41. Sarah Davis

    How devastating !!

    naturally you should wash the childs eyes out with bleach, set fire to the Wii, then move house immediately

    and who said 'shit (head) happens' ? C'mon, no-one is leaving until whoever said that stands up!

  42. Loyal Commenter Silver badge

    The thing that amuses me most

    Is that The Currant Bun sees fit to pixellate the letters 'H' and 'I' in that picture, thus drawing more attention to the 'obscenity'.

  43. breakfast


    "Well, lets hope no-one calls this program is a load of old 'sloblock!'"

  44. Bill Fresher


    I'd have guessed 'Daheshist' as the solution to the conundrum.

    Oh well.

  45. Bobby Omelette

    Well, whad'ya expect ...

    ... if you buy the Tourette's special edition. COCKS!

  46. Skizz

    Word Bank

    So, we take a good, big word like vocabulary or lexicon and replace it with two simple words. Now, which book did that idea appear in? What, you want me to go into that room. Ok. Err, why's that rat in a cage?

  47. Winkypop Silver badge

    What a bunch of...


  48. Colin McKinnon

    Wow - amazing software!

    How did it know they were Sun readers?

    1. MJI Silver badge

      Sun readers- oxymoron

      can they actually read?

  49. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Looks like we've got ourselves a bunch of WANKERS


  50. Anonymous Coward


    ... just like the outraged parents, who were so 'outraged' that they had to leave it onscreen for the 'traumatised' lil' blighter to stand in front of. A bit like the old days of Mary Whitehouse ... ooooh I'm soo offended at that on the telly but don't turn it off in case there's anything else coming up that I might be offended at.

    TSORSES (anagram)

  51. Dave 137

    This is unbelievable...

    I mean, who has a CRT television these days...

    A simple swearywords is the last of that little frodo's bullying worries.

  52. Midnight

    How horrible

    At least he wasn't exposed to anything truly horrible like "Hashed Sit", "Shade Hits", "Death Hiss", "Had Thesis", "Haste Dish", "Hash Tides", "Stash Hide", "Hats Hides" or "Hat Dishes".

    Exposing a child of that age to the word "Thesis" could be particularly damaging.

  53. Anonymous Coward

    poor little blighter

    just set him down with a full set of the OED and stop playing telly games. by the time he gets through reading, he'll be old enough for all the words.

  54. Anonymous Coward

    Problem with the OED is .....

    ...... whilst it explains all the words, the plot is absolutely rubbish.

    Yeah, I know, I'm leaving now.

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