Jesus F'king Christ
Wish I had thought of that one.
Hot on the heavenly heels of Pope Benedict XVI's recent invitation to young people to "embrace digital communication"* comes the iPhone "Confession: A Roman Catholic app" – designed to shepherd sinners through the sacramental process towards divine forgiveness. The Indiana developers of the app – Little iApps – say they "took …
"I am firmly of the opinion that the Macintosh is Catholic and that DOS is Protestant. Indeed, the Macintosh is counterreformist and has been influenced by the ’ratio studiorum’ of the Jesuits. It is cheerful, friendly, conciliatory, it tells the faithful how they must proceed step by step to reach — if not the Kingdom of Heaven — the moment in which their document is printed. It is catechistic: the essence of revelation is dealt with via simple formulae and sumptuous icons. Everyone has a right to salvation.
DOS is Protestant, or even Calvinistic. It allows free interpretation of scripture, demands difficult personal decisions, imposes a subtle hermeneutics upon the user, and takes for granted the idea that not all can reach salvation. To make the system work you need to interpret the program yourself: a long way from the baroque community of revelers, the user is closed within the loneliness of his own inner torment.
You may object that, with the passage to Windows, the DOS universe has come to resemble more closely the counterreformist tolerance of the Macintosh. It’s true: Windows represents an Anglican-style schism, big ceremonies in the cathedral, but there is always the possibility of a return to DOS to change things in accordance with bizarre decisions.....
And machine code, which lies beneath both systems (or environments, if you prefer)? Ah, that is to do with the Old Testament, and is Talmudic and cabalistic."
As someone else pointed out (using longer words), that part of the report is simply untrue; Catholics can talk directly to God whenever they want to (unlike those poor atheists who haven't even cottoned on to the fact that God is there yet, and haven't a clue what they're missing out on).
The Register hack who wrote this bit is presumably a bit short in the religious knowledge department - but I'm sure s/he can find somewhere to confess to that....
And confession's free, so there's no money involved. Funny the ideas anonymous cowards can get in their heads, isn't it?
Hmm. Wonder if they've put in a quetion about worshipping false idols, like shiny iphones....
"those poor atheists who haven't even cottoned on to the fact that God is there yet, and haven't a clue what they're missing out on..."
Yep. No idea at all. Poor me. Never mind, I'll cope.
But there are plenty of atheists who are ex-religion. They presumably DO have a clue what they are missing out on...and have come to the conclusion they are better off without it.
But that app is going to sell extremely well. Hope he's giving his tithe to the Church.
Nice how one can get free advertising for a paid-for app... (This is more a gripe at places like the BBC, than the Register - the BBC are supposed to not have advertising, but they'll happily give you free nationwide advertising for your commercial Iphone app - also see http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/8152338.stm . How is that news? Next time I write an app for my Nokia, I'll be sending details to the BBC...)
I was disciplined at a county college in the US for writing an application like that... in 1981. Seems the sysop was a Catholic and was offended.
(I must admit that the penance it gave out could be considered offensive, although I thought it was rather poetic at the time: "Four Our Father's, Three Hail Mary's, Two Glory Be's and a partridge in a pear tree.")
The App should include the ability to play the Hail Mary's in audio and then do whatever with the rosary on the screen.
Then they could have a fully automated version whereby the type of misdeed is selected from a menu, a designated penalty is awarded and the iThingy chants the HM's and then displays the rosary action for the appropriate number of times.
This way RC's won't have to drop in to the church - saving gas and time, or giving the preacher a good laugh. Best of all there will be no need to drop any coin!
I have friends who own mobile phones made by Apple ( not being religious means I am familiar with tolerance ), and it would be interesting to get them to download that to-do list for me.
But no way I am sending all those pennies to somebody who is so familiar with the Bible AND I know for sure own a laptop made by Apple.
Also, has anybody tried to refer to their friends' gadgets made by Apple as mobile / mp3 player / laptop? Some of the owners look confused for a few seconds
...'cept for the Pope maybe in Rome....
Aaah Purgatory... lucky its PAYG to get out!
So,... does God have an iPhone then? If not how does the absolution reach him? Has Heaven got Vodafone dialled in? Or is it sent to the Pope for pre-aproval, who then presumably calls the big yin to let him know? Yup, that's propbably it, makes sense that way.
Flames, because that's where I'm going (unless I buy the app of course!)
This week: Religious iPhone app officially endorsed by Catholicism.
Next week: Bearded cleric issues Fatwa banning muslims from using infidel iPhones. Calvinists, Lutherans and Hussites burn Apple products.
Week after that: App store bans all apps with religious content.
Week after that: Papal Bull issued stating that users of Apple products will be excommunicated.
There is a free application for Android devices that is similar called PenanceProject. It helps users do an examination of conscience before the Sacrament and to pray afterwards.
You can get the application here: https://market.android.com/details?id=appinventor.ai_jamorrow.PenanceProject
To find out more about The Penance Project please visit: http://www.thepenanceproject.org
"Do I not give God time every day in prayer?"
OK, so does a tick mean yes I do, or yes I do not?
Actually I shouldn't complain. One of my favourite tricks is to answer questions asked in the negative sense with the logically correct answer, e.g. if I _have_ given God time every day in prayer, then the answer to the above is No. (Or does No mean that I have given God time only some days in prayer, as opposed to every day and no days? I'm confused...)
Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2019