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I salute you Lester.
Officials in Malawi have locked horns over the controversial ban on farting in public. The prohibition forms part of the Local Courts Bill, due for introduction next week. The legislation has the backing of justice minister George Chaponda, who said the clampdown on unruly bowels would promote "public decency". According to …
Isn't it funny how things we picked up in the dim recesses of childhood remain to be uttered forth in dottering adulthood. Your Mum forgot to add that your poop ought to be stuck to the inside of your underwear, but then she probably didn't like your skidmarks and wanted some small revenge.
The stinky smell is from a group of reduced sulphur compounds generated in our guts. Similar gases are produced from kraft pulping. Here in Canada we have whole towns that smell like your bedroom thanks to Britain's demand for high quality Canadian kraft pulp and paper. So when you all smell a fart you can thank Canada for your quality of life, again.
We're all veggie in our house, what we may lack in colour, we more than make up for by "whistling in our Y-fronts"!
What the hell is wrong with these health-nazis? Like visiting the little person's room, coughing, breathing and eating, everyone farts. Fact of life! Some more than others, you hold that pressure back too long and I'm afraid it's gonna break out sooner or later!
The wording seems geared towards punishing pollution alright, but it wouldn't surprise me (given the reported comments) to see at least some folks try to implement it as a "public decency" bill.
Which will no doubt lead, eventually, to an interesting day in court for someone to try and prove that Aroma of Trouser Cough is intrinsically dangerous to the public health, rather than merely an unpleasant indicator of an individual's recent dietary input.
Of course, the creepier thing would be for officials to try and claim that it wasn't a medical/biological health issue, but a "psychological" health issue....
"Any person who vitiates the atmosphere in any place so as to make it noxious to the public to the health of persons in general dwelling or carrying on business in the neighbourhood or passing along a public way shall be guilty of a misdemeanour."
So, by that rationale, body odor, bad breath, smelly feet and Lynx deodorant are also outlawed??
Clerk of court (to defendant): You are charged with farting without due care and attention. How do you plead?
Defendant: You get on your knees!
(cymbal crash off-stage)
Prosecutor (to defendant): I put it to you that whoever smelt it, dealt it!
Defence (to Judge): Objection! It is well known that whoever said the rhyme, did the crime.
Judge (to all & sundry): Sustained. The next person to speak is a spanner!
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