back to article Chaps tolerant of girl-on-girl cheating by other halves

Academics in America have carried out groundbreaking research in which they find that men are much less likely to break up with a cheating girlfriend if she cheats on them with another woman, rather than with another chap. This, perhaps unsurprisingly, is because the blokes are hoping that they may be able to join their …

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  1. Anonymous Coward
    WTF?

    First the Which report, now this ...

    There really has to be an institute for Ursine Wooland Defacation Studies somewhere.

    1. Vulch
      Badgers

      Actually

      "Ursine defecation in a deciduous-based arboreal ecosystem"

      1. BenR
        Joke

        In other news:

        Dog bites Man.

        Pope Catholic.

        Government wastes taxpayer money.

  2. Richard Wharram

    Who'd have thunk it ?

    Actually, on reflection, I think about it all the time

    *rub thighs*

  3. Tom_

    Not very useful survey

    It sounds like they asked people how they would react to hypothetical situations, rather than looked at the results of real situations. I reckon the results would be rather different if moved from the fantasy arena to a situation where people were actually being cheated on.

    1. Cameron Colley

      RE: Not very useful survey

      I think the trend may be there anyhow. A man thinking about his partner having sex with with another man would, I think, feel more disgust than if she did so with another woman. Also, from an evolutionary point of view, she's got 0 chance of having another man's child and so isn't tainted (for want of a better word) in the same way.

      I agree a little in that I think the results may be less clear cut. It also says "cheated on" rather than "had an affair" and I suspect that there would be a difference between one night stand and an affair.

    2. Disco-Legend-Zeke
      Thumb Up

      @ Tom_

      "where people were actually being cheated on." ...especially if names and phone numbers were included in the footnotes.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Paris Hilton

        And photos.

        Don't forget the photos. Action photos. Nice, large, clear hi-res action photos. Lots of them.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Flame

      They asked college students

      You sir went to a very tame college.

      Me coat.

  4. Eddie 4
    IT Angle

    From the Department of the bleeding obvious

    What next, a study showing the correlation between gun ownership and death by gun shot wounds? Now that would be a revelation in the US!

    1. Vladimir Plouzhnikov

      No

      Next thing they will reveal there is pr0n on the Internet!

    2. ArmanX
      Grenade

      Actually...

      Many of the countries with higher gun-related deaths than the US have low gun registrations. Just an interesting observation...

      1. Anonymous Coward
        FAIL

        @ArmanX

        Which countries have higher gun-related deaths than the US?

        Let's have a look: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_firearm-related_death_rate

        If I remove the non-first world countries, which country is top of the list. Well, crap in my pants, it is the US.

        Just an interesting observation.

      2. Originone

        By many you mean...

        out of the 6 or maybe 7 of them including mexico, colombia, brazil, and thailand.

        Actually many of the countries with higher gun-related deaths than the US have high levels of drug production coupled with high levels of corruption and law and order systems incapable of dealing with the problem. Just an interesting observation...

        Against comparable countries ie. wealthy educated western democracies the US is streaks ahead in the number of people who die from gunshot wounds.

        http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_firearm-related_death_rate

        http://www.nationmaster.com/graph/cri_mur_wit_fir_percap-crime-murders-firearms-per-capita

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Unhappy

          Firearm related death rate

          ...and in almost every one of those 'wealthy educated western democracies' the statistical breakdown indicates that the figures are dominated by suicides, not homicides. The US being an obvious exception to this (up with the aforementioned countries, plus Northern Ireland).

          Just an interesting observation...

    3. Luther Blissett

      From the Department of the bleeding...

      to the Department of the merely Wet Behind the ears. Stop the press. Sorry, I'll do that again. Pause the download because

      Damp days cause rain.

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    Well I never

    Who'd-a-thunk-it!

    Paris...I wouldn't be averse to the idea of her and the missus gettin' it on.

    1. Alien Doctor 1.1
      Paris Hilton

      paris and the missus?

      You jest sir, surely you would need to worry about the missus catching something serious, like the I'm-so-famous complex or what-the-hell-did-you-pick-up-in-the-gaol syndrome?

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    Is there a joke here

    What's a trick-cyclist? Or why are we calling them that? Is there a reference I'm missing?

    1. Thecowking

      It's El Reg code

      Boffin = proper scientist who does important things like explode stuff or look at stars.

      Trick-cyclist = The kind of person who calls themselves a scientist and then produces reports like this one.

      1. JimC Silver badge

        Trick Cyclist = Pyschiatrist

        sort of half pun/half rhyming slang...

        I'm 90% sure that it dates back at least as far as WW2. Possibly RAF slang, but could very easily be wrong.

    2. Anonymous John

      Trick-cyclist?

      Slang term for psychiatrist M'Lud.

    3. The March Hare
      Happy

      A trick-cyclist

      someone who gets involved with cunning stunts, sometimes in (on?) a tandem....

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      psychologist, or related field

      Its an old joke on El Reg, but basicly its because its not a realy science.

  7. Vladimir Plouzhnikov

    Conclusions only partially correct

    It's not just hoping to join, though there is that, but there clearly was an evolutionary advantage in that:

    While the men are out hunting woolly mamoths for days on end what should the women do?

    - It's good for the women - for obvious reasons

    - It's good for the tribe - social cohesion, less rivalry among females, so they can concentrate on keeping the fire going and looking after children.

    - It's good for the children - your "aunt" will not probably wring your neck to give her own offspring advantage if she fancies your mother.

    - It's good for the men - their women are less likely to sleep around with the males who are too weak or too lazy to hunt.

    1. peter 5 Silver badge

      WARNING: Amrchar evolutionary psychology

      When a man has an affair with another women, he remains sexually available to his original partner. But if he's dallying with other men, then the woman's probably out in the cold for good. So you could argue there's an evolutionary advantage to a woman disliking male homosexuality. Of course, there must be a ton of reasons why having homosexual men around is advantageous, otherwise they would have been eliminated from the gene pool.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        "otherwise they would have been eliminated from the gene pool"

        That's bullshit. Just look at the semantics of that clause. You can't eliminate "homosexual men" from a gene pool; the only thing you can eliminate from a gene pool is genes. Well, male homosexuality might be a side effect of a combination of genes, each of which has other effects that give a positive selection pressure.

      2. Lord Raa

        Err...

        When was homosexuality determined to be genetic?

  8. Dexter
    Happy

    Men not wlecome

    So the real conclusion here is that it's not OK no have sex with another bloke, no matter which sex you are?

  9. ratfox Silver badge
    Paris Hilton

    The other part was more surprising

    That the men mind less when their GF goes at it with a woman, well of course. Not only they hope for some 3-way action, they do not feel as threatened that they will be replaced.

    I am rather surprised about the other way, though. I really thought that women believed gay men were sexy. Also, I would assume they would feel more threatened if the other is female, because they can bring something that a man cannot, but any woman can bring the same.

    What would Paris do?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Already knew this

      Back in college, I was always wondering why males would be homofobic, while at the same time lust for Lesbian Porn. I usually find it mostly MEH because, well... they're lesbians, and I'm not a woman. It's an impossible fantasy!

      I did a couple of research asking men and women about this, and I found that:

      - Males lust for girl-on-girl porn, as well as hetero porn.

      - Girls will usually lust only for hetero porn, bi or les will obviously indulge in Les porn.

      - Only male homosexuals will lust for male-on-male porn. Most of the others will describe such acts as "gross".

      Also, you'll usually find much more requests for "couple searching woman for threesome" than "couple searching man for threesome" in adult classifieds. Now this study has arrived to the same thing.

    2. John Smith 19 Gold badge
      Joke

      @ratfox

      "What would Paris do?"

      Don't know.

      But I'd probably torrent the video.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      The female mind...

      >>"I am rather surprised about the other way, though. I really thought that women believed gay men were sexy. Also, I would assume they would feel more threatened if the other is female, because they can bring something that a man cannot, but any woman can bring the same."

      You obviously don't understand the female mind.... when a woman's partner cheats, most women will view it as an insult to their attractiveness... in that context cheating with a man is the ultimate insult - certainly a much bigger insult that cheating with another woman.

  10. Graham Bartlett
    Jobs Horns

    It is a truth universally acknowledged that

    ... women just look nicer than men.

    So not exactly surprising really. The surprising part for most people is that men can find other men attractive - I'm not saying it's wrong, I'm just saying that I (and most straight men I know) fundamentally don't get what the appeal is. Whereas straight men, gay men and straight women can all see why a woman would be attractive.

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    Yep! Fine with Me!

    As long as I can watch and it is not conducted with my mother or any of my sisters!

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Joke

      Yo' momma

      <insert yo' momma joke here>

  12. Hoe
    WTF?

    Call me mad but...

    STD's aren't really any issue with girl on girl are they, or am I just naive surely that has a part to play.

    1. Aaron Em

      You're just naive

      Google 'dental dam' if you don't believe me.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Happy

      @Hoe

      STDs are an issue with girl on girl activities.

      Me, I'm fine with my partner with another girl, but I am incredibly lazy, I'm a sysadmin FFS.

    3. J 3

      Re: Call me mad but...

      Yes, they are. Not all of them, but many STDs are.

    4. F111F
      Megaphone

      You're Mad

      My wife has been an OB/GYN Nurse Practitioner for 20+ years now, and the stories that come out of her clinic...but I digress. YES, STDs are a major concern for any non-monogamous relationship, no mater the combination of gender(s). Sleep with someone, sleep with everyone they've had sex with.

    5. John 110
      Coat

      yup...

      You're naive...

  13. Hollerith 1

    College students?

    What male college students would 'forgive' is quite different from grown-ups, I think.

    A married man whose wife betrays him after, say, 15 or 20 years of marriage is more likely to be devastated by the emotional betrayal than a college kid.

    Of course, at any age, the chance of the bloke being invited to join the women is zero. Perhaps the older man will understand this, while the younger chaps still like in a dream-world encouraged by porn.

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Pint

    "[Men view it as] an opportunity to mate with more than one woman simultaneously."

    Men, that is, who either have two - um - tails, or a spare turkey baster..

    It all goes to prove that med students who can't handle anatomy classes do Psychology instead.

  15. Kimo
    Pint

    But...

    ...what if the man had a fling with a Lesbian?

  16. This post has been deleted by its author

  17. Pirate Dave
    Pirate

    ahem

    um, Pics or it didn't happen???

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      @Pirate Dave

      "um, Pics or it didn't happen???"

      That sounds strangely familiar.

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Chaps tolerant of girl-on-girl cheating by other halves

    "men are much less likely to break up with a cheating girlfriend if she cheats on them with another woman, rather than with another chap"

    Of course, this only works if the other woman is hot. Need a Lindsey Lohan icon please.

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Possibly...

    Possibly it's not so much the thought that they could join in, rather it's because cheating on you with someone of the opposite sex is far less of a rejection than cheating on you with someone who is the same sex and therefore better than you.

    Now, as a bisexual man, I have never understood the thing that straight (often borderline homophobic) men have for gay women. They're never going to be able to join in, it's not like you can "convert" gay women by showing them how a real man would do it, they're not interested. As for bi women (or at least the ones I know), they're far more likely to be attracted to liberally minded men (ie: not borderline homophobes).

  20. kissingthecarpet

    I bet the idea is more popular than the reality

    In men's fantasies its all lipstick lesbians & sexy lingerie. In reality it could be say, your wife being shagged stupid with a huge(bigger than your cock) strap-on every night by a rather large butch lady.

    Perhaps also falling in love with her, & going off men altogether. If you love someone & you're in a relationship with them. any infidelity is going to be painful, unless you're one of those guys who's turned on when they're cuckolded. And no, its never happened to me( but I know a couple of men it happened to & the longer it went on the more they disliked it.)

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Joke

      Re: I bet the idea is more popular than the reality

      >And no, its never happened to me( but I know a couple of men it happened to & the longer it went on the more they disliked it.)

      Yeah, happened to my friend too...

  21. Vladimir Plouzhnikov

    Somewhat missing the point

    "A married man whose wife betrays him after, say, 15 or 20 years of marriage is more likely to be devastated by the emotional betrayal than a college kid."

    That only if you assume that his wife sleeping with another woman constitutes a betrayal.

    The point being discussed here is that the majority of males do not see such thing as betrayal at all. Moreover, they (myself included) don't necessarily even see it as something reproachable...

  22. Anonymous Coward
    Flame

    *facepalm*

    And it's not because men have an evolutionary predisposition to not regard women as rivals? Of course not, it's because All Men Are Perverts (Tropes ahoy!).

    I'm no certified psychologists, but I bet the reasons for this type of thinking of the majority of said 50% is more-or-less in the following order :

    -as long OUR relationship (on the emotional level) remains as-is it's OK,

    -as long MY needs (emotional and sexual) are still satisfied on the same level, it's OK,

    -if the other chick is hot and my GF is into that sort of thing - hey, bonus!

    The first two are interchangeable and really depend on the guy in question. Note that I mean actual typical monogamous relationships, not "fuck-buddies".

    I haven't read the actual paper, but I strongly suspect that the "the other chick is hot" part was completely missed. From my observations, lesbian and bisexual women in general do not have the same taste in women as men do; and that's not mentioning the fact that the girlfriend and boyfriend in question might simply have different tastes, just like two heterosexual men may have different tastes.

    Overall, I get the vibe here that this paper wants to prove that at least half of the male population are psychopaths with little to no emotional needs that just want to fuck anything that moves. I'm deeply insulted by what chauvinistic propaganda passes of as "research" these days.

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Unhappy

    Happened to a co-worker of mine

    He did not find it slightly amusing.

  24. Anonymous Coward
    IT Angle

    Think of the hygiene aspects!

    My cousin was both shocked and revolted when it turned out her boyfriend had a boyfriend on the side - I assume her thoughts were on whether or not he'd had a long hot bath between visiting his boyfriend and coming back home to her.

    Anonymous in case my cousin reads this...

  25. Morpho Devilpepper
    Coat

    Not Frickin' Likely...

    If there was a chance in hell that they would ask the guy to join in, he would've been invited in the first place.

    And I'd see it as cheating either way. Not sure why any guy would "tolerate" it...unless he were allowed to watch. If not, he's not only been betrayed, he's also been left out.

    Bottom line...if you keep trying to join in and they keep kicking you out of bed, you'd better just get your coat and piss off out of it...

  26. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    @Carl Zetie et al

    You're all looking at it from the pov of a western culture and assume that our 'norms' are universal. Much of this crap about getting uptight when being 'cheated' on is the grubby residue of christian teaching passed down through generations, which most people pick up act out simply because at some level they feel it's what they're expcted to do, as i see it anyway.

    I know there are genuinely jealous, possessive people but most others just have a handy, society-provided behavioral template of what to do when 'cheated on' and just act it out. I doubt I'd care if I had a gf that also had a guy or girl as well (provided they were careful with my feelings & re. stds) and I knew one couple who have an open relationship.

    I consider myself straight but have tried blokes long ago, and mentioned this to some past gfs when they asked - one got well upset, the other was hugely amused. Take that, trick-cyclists, real data points!

    Honestly, try working out what you *really* feel, not what you're expected to do. Try it right now, you might surprise yourself.

    meh, etc. We're so fucked up about sex.

  27. niya blake

    title why ?

    I would be pissed if my women cheated on me with a man. I'd still be pissed if she cheated on me. To the guy that thinks lesbians dont get STDs, there are things that can live both on the mouth and vagina. like genital warts, Syphilis,Chlamydia.

    Wounders if mMs Bee is availble

  28. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    @ "straight" AC

    "Honestly, try working out what you *really* feel, not what you're expected to do. Try it right now, you might surprise yourself."

    with:

    "I consider myself straight but have tried blokes long ago"

    shows you epic fail to practice what you preach.

  29. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    @The March Hare

    > A trick-cyclist ... someone who gets involved with cunning stunts ...

    - hope that wasn't a spoonerism

  30. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Woody Allen

    As usual Woody Allen has the best take on this ... quote from Manhatten

    Mary Wilke: Well tell me, why did you get a divorce?

    Isaac Davis: Why? I got a divorce because my ex-wife left me for another woman.

    Mary Wilke: Really? God, that must have been really demoralizing.

    Isaac Davis: Well, I dunno, I thought I took it rather well under the circumstances. I tried to run them both over with a car.

  31. chrisjw37
    Coat

    Cutting edge scientific wesearch huh?

    Ye Gods what a revelation,

    it seems i undercharged for that quick survey I did done the pub last year; I should have got a grant and plush interview offices first - next time I'll know better.

  32. mark 63 Silver badge
    Joke

    trick-cyclist?

    trick-cyclist?

    is that some kind of euphemism?

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