Angry Birds turns sour IRL
'tis much safer on your jesus phone.
A Bengali man has reportedly suffered a gruesome demise after he pushed his metal-enhanced cock that bit too far. Singrai Soren, a trainer of fighting roosters, was killed in Mohanpur in West Bengal after one of his birds apparently turned on him, the Daily Mail soberly relates. According to a friend, Soren forced the …
...his tongue to push the cock back to ring? Otherwise, unless these razors were fixed to the wings of the bird, instead of talons, I have hard time imagining how did he came close enough for throat slitting experience.
I mean, if it was dog fighting ring, and that man was attacked and killed by his pitbull, OK, but rooster?
That being said, this is exactly the same type of entertaiment, enjoyed by the same type of people, who get exactly the same amount of sympathy from me.
I think Lewis Page had better watch out! Going by the number of comments in his last few articles, I now have visions of the earstwhile moderator going after him with blades attached to her hands and head and letting rip...
I am surprised she even found time to type this article, unless it is a warning to us all...? ;)
I for one am horrified -- horrified, I say -- that none of the excellent tags attached to this article have been used anywhere else in El Reg's storybase. I was looking forward to an entertaining Friday Afternoon browsing other "# What Did You Think This Story Was About You Silly" entries.
It's very sad.
Do Prince Alberts count as metal enhanced..
My second question...what do people with Prince Albert's do at metal detectors at airports?
Do they carry around with them a doctor's certificate stating they have PA's and then just hand that to the security guard?
May be to have a PA you have to be mentally challanged, and covered in tattoos and so you don't have a well paid job, and therefore can't afford to go on holiday and take an aeroplane flight, so problem solved.
To Whom it may concern
My husband was using his cock to fight other cocks. Then he added razor blades to his cock to inflict maximum damage to the other cocks. His cock did not want to cock-fight when he pushed it into the cockring., so he had to struggle with his cock. His cock attacked him and the razor blades severed his neck. His cock is missing.
Dear Mrs #####,
thankyou for your application for insurance claim for your husbands cock. Please supply evidence that he actually owned a cock and used it in the cockring for cockfighting. Our policy does not give coverage for self inflicted injury It is unclear in your claim whether he used his cock or his COCK for the fights. If he used his cock, we may be able to accommodate you claim for death by cock. If he was in the habit of fighting with his COCK, then unfortunately we cannot as this is classified as self abuse under our policy, clause 22.214.171.124. respectfully we require a picture of his cock and his COCK to determine the cause of death. A photo of the cockring in question when he used his cock (COCK) for the fight may also be useful.
If it wears anthing, this cock(rel) will probably be wearing down other humans' throats... WIth every kill, this bad bird is probably doing a "jig" or "da funky chicken" routine somewhere.
Maybe an ex-cock-fighting-guru turned repentent might write a story on this periodic cockup?
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