back to article Man killed by own cock

A Bengali man has reportedly suffered a gruesome demise after he pushed his metal-enhanced cock that bit too far. Singrai Soren, a trainer of fighting roosters, was killed in Mohanpur in West Bengal after one of his birds apparently turned on him, the Daily Mail soberly relates. According to a friend, Soren forced the …

COMMENTS

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  1. Martin 19
    Coat

    Angry Birds turns sour IRL

    'tis much safer on your jesus phone.

  2. NoneSuch Silver badge
    WTF?

    Hmmmm

    A cock, razor blades, feathers and Paris no where to be seen... Something is just not right with the world today.

  3. GettinSadda
    Thumb Up

    So...

    Man equips animal with unpleasant weapons and tries to force it to kill other animals.

    Animal turns on man and kills him instead.

    Quality of human gene-pool somewhat improved.

    1. Chris Hawkins
      Linux

      Animal Farm....TNG???

      Well with Belorussian foxes shooting hunters and armoured Indian poultry on murderous rampage it is only a matter of time before the scenario played out in the following url becomes reailty:

      http://youtu.be/FQMbXvn2RNI

  4. ColonelClaw

    No great loss

    I smell a Darwin Award nomination incoming

    1. Dave Murray

      Theres a title here somewhere

      Depends if he managed to procreate before his cock turned on him.

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Pint

    Only one c*k involved....

    ...it's not the feathered one.

    Mother N. does not like to be pushed around sometimes, she has teeth and claws!

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Pint

      and...

      and now razor blades!

  6. Evil Auditor Silver badge
    Thumb Up

    Sarah and the killer cock...

    You're almost pushing it too far. Truely a gem of not so fine writing.

    1. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

      Re: Sarah and the killer cock...

      Cock off.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Happy

        "Cock off."

        ...she says in a thick COCKney accent.

    2. Anonymous John

      Re Sarah and the killer cock

      i think Sarah's channelling Lester today.

  7. George Nacht

    So, was he using....

    ...his tongue to push the cock back to ring? Otherwise, unless these razors were fixed to the wings of the bird, instead of talons, I have hard time imagining how did he came close enough for throat slitting experience.

    I mean, if it was dog fighting ring, and that man was attacked and killed by his pitbull, OK, but rooster?

    That being said, this is exactly the same type of entertaiment, enjoyed by the same type of people, who get exactly the same amount of sympathy from me.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Have you ever

      Encountered a *seriously* aroused cock?

    2. Donald Atkinson

      Never been on a farm have you?

      First talons are on a bird's toes. Second the blades are attached to the birds feet, roosters jump at their target feet first. Third, roosters are big and notoriously mean critters, unless you have handled them you really can't imagine.

      1. Mark 65

        Indeed

        There are some truly massive cocks out there.

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Go

    Yay it's Friday!

    that is all...

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    That's another win...

    So that makes it 5 wins.

    Seriously, throat sliced? Serves him right for providing his poultry with sowrds and knives.

    1. peyton?

      No, I'm fairly certain

      It 'serves him right' for supporting needless animal cruelty.

  10. jake Silver badge

    Speaking as an animal trainer ...

    You can't force nature. Critters do what critters do. All I can do (as a trainer) is encourage their natural behavior. Trying to force them outside that envelope only leads to tears.

    Now ask me why my bird & I are happily married ... and will stay that way.

  11. Pete B
    IT Angle

    Lester

    is the modratrix trying to steal Lester's smut crown from him?

  12. Miek
    Coat

    A Title Is Required

    That's one Angry Bird!

  13. Dave 64 Silver badge
    Thumb Up

    got what he deserved

    serves him right - it's a horrible "sport"

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      What do you mean?

      The cock sliced the throat of its owner, it's a great sport! Same thing with corridas, if there was a fair chance to see toreros getting gored routinely, I'd start watching that too.

  14. Paul_Murphy

    Sarah - I'm surprised at you.

    Here I was thinking that you were a fine, upstanding woman with the morals and sober judgment of a Victorian lady.

    Obviously you have to let off some steam every so often, but I am sitting here stunned.

    Most unexpected.

    carry on.

    1. unitron

      Re: surprised at Sarah

      "Here I was thinking that you were a fine, upstanding woman with the morals and sober judgment of a Victorian lady."

      Working at El Reg?

      Please.

  15. Mike Brown

    sounds like an agatha christie plot...

    murder most fowl.

  16. Jimboom
    Paris Hilton

    One serious cock up

    I bet he was wishing he paid heed to his mothers advise to leave his cock alone. Especially when he has played with it so much that it was red and black... not to mention angry.

    Paris... for obvious reasons.

  17. Wize

    Metal enhanced cock

    And its not the David Beckham controversy.

  18. g e
    Terminator

    Where's the ROTM angle??

    Are reports true that the cock asked 'Sarah Connor?' before dispatching him?

    Good job it didn't have hydraulics + AI ;o)

  19. I know better

    I suppose...

    his chickens came home to joust?

  20. Cunningly Linguistic

    A new euphemism

    Not so much "diamond cutter" as "throat cutter".

  21. Desk Jockey
    Pint

    Sarah letting off steam?

    I think Lewis Page had better watch out! Going by the number of comments in his last few articles, I now have visions of the earstwhile moderator going after him with blades attached to her hands and head and letting rip...

    I am surprised she even found time to type this article, unless it is a warning to us all...? ;)

  22. Keith 21

    Good.

    Serves the nasty piece of shit right.

    My only disappointment is that the cock didn't manage to kill more of the nasty shits involved in the evil and barbaric event.

    1. LaeMing Silver badge
      Go

      More to come (hopefully)

      Remember another arsehole has bagged the cock for himself. We can all pray to our respective deities or equivalent for a rematch with same result.

  23. JDX Gold badge

    Mother N. has teeth and claws!

    And precision steel blades.

  24. Graham Bartlett

    Puns...

    Don't forget the definition of rooster - chick with a dick.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Thumb Up

      As opposed

      To Thai Roosters or "chaps with flaps".

      I thank you.

  25. Nick Galloway
    Coat

    So it's true...

    ... you shouldn't play with razor blades and too much with your cock will make you silly, fatally so!!!

  26. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I...

    ...give my bird knives all the time and try and force her in to where they be of some use (the kitchen), she does tend to flap quite a bit. I should probably learn from others mistakes.

  27. Chris Hawkins
    Linux

    Animal Farm .....TNG2!

    And now Auntie has just reported this - "Live chicken thrown at KFC staff in Nuneaton"

    http://goo.gl/KRZUj

  28. Blofeld's Cat
    Pint

    Tags

    Full marks for the tags - even though no other article seems to use them...

    ... yet.

  29. S Larti
    Coat

    which part of the Bengali community was this guy from?

    Is this an example of Hen-do aggression?

  30. Embarrassing bodies
    Thumb Up

    Have a prize

    Headline of the day, shurely?

  31. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    that would explain

    what I just ate at KFC.

    Now excuse me while I try to find my insides.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Stop

      everything below the waste is gone.

      It just didn't get up and walk away.

      PS. Where is the Cathy Cruz Marrero angle?

      1. dssf

        Sure, but how about below the

        waist?

        In any case, he definitely is below the waist and deeper than much waste... I bet in the end he chickened out. Got ousted and roosted. What was good for the goose was good for THAT gander...

  32. Jemma Silver badge
    Thumb Up

    ...Calling Robert Rankin...

    "...All hail Sate-Hen..."

    /gets coat

  33. The Indomitable Gall
    Joke

    iShall be cancelling my subscription.

    Where's the IT angle?

    I mean, seriously, razors are so clearly analogue technology....

  34. whats the point of kenny lynch?
    Stop

    woman killed by own puss...

    ahh those cunning ninja cats.....

  35. Pirate Dave
    Pirate

    I gotta think

    if you're putting razorblades on your cock, you're not doing something right.

  36. Wind Farmer

    Black and red feathers?

    So not a purple-headed cock then?

  37. tumbleworld
    FAIL

    Tragedy

    I for one am horrified -- horrified, I say -- that none of the excellent tags attached to this article have been used anywhere else in El Reg's storybase. I was looking forward to an entertaining Friday Afternoon browsing other "# What Did You Think This Story Was About You Silly" entries.

    It's very sad.

  38. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    What goes around...

    I'll bet some folks will think twice about the games they play from now on.

    1. LaeMing Silver badge
      Unhappy

      I doubt it.

      Most folks are not inteligent enough to link cause and effect on that level, sadly.

  39. TkH11

    metal..

    Do Prince Alberts count as metal enhanced..

    My second question...what do people with Prince Albert's do at metal detectors at airports?

    Do they carry around with them a doctor's certificate stating they have PA's and then just hand that to the security guard?

    May be to have a PA you have to be mentally challanged, and covered in tattoos and so you don't have a well paid job, and therefore can't afford to go on holiday and take an aeroplane flight, so problem solved.

  40. Morpho Devilpepper
    Coat

    Goes to show...

    As we've all been told before, if you mishandle your cock it may cause you trouble, and just might result in serious injury. Of course, anyone dumb enough to strap razors to their cock is just begging for a slit.

    All right, I'm going. No need to phone the cops...

  41. Captain Thyratron

    Never underestimate a cornered chicken.

    If they were much bigger, no metal blades would be necessary for them to exact revenge on abusive owners.

  42. Steven Jones

    Oh Dear

    This story is clearly a Sara Bee revenge fantasy. I think the warning needs to be heeded.

  43. Eddy Ito Silver badge

    Not very sporting

    Here we have a fairly bright bird armed to the teeth, so to speak, versus a human who's a few cups short of a pint. I'm actually surprised this doesn't happen more often. It's a little disappointing really.

  44. Tim Roberts 1

    life insurance claim by his wife

    To Whom it may concern

    My husband was using his cock to fight other cocks. Then he added razor blades to his cock to inflict maximum damage to the other cocks. His cock did not want to cock-fight when he pushed it into the cockring., so he had to struggle with his cock. His cock attacked him and the razor blades severed his neck. His cock is missing.

    Insurance company

    Dear Mrs #####,

    thankyou for your application for insurance claim for your husbands cock. Please supply evidence that he actually owned a cock and used it in the cockring for cockfighting. Our policy does not give coverage for self inflicted injury It is unclear in your claim whether he used his cock or his COCK for the fights. If he used his cock, we may be able to accommodate you claim for death by cock. If he was in the habit of fighting with his COCK, then unfortunately we cannot as this is classified as self abuse under our policy, clause 12.2.1.3. respectfully we require a picture of his cock and his COCK to determine the cause of death. A photo of the cockring in question when he used his cock (COCK) for the fight may also be useful.

    Thankyou

  45. Craig 28
    Happy

    Or to put it another way

    Man died while trying to put his own cock in his ring.

    Ducks. And not the feathered kind.

    Seconded on the prat deserving this.

  46. Apocalypse Later

    Attack bird

    Here's what it looks like to the victim- this cock was unarmed, so I lived:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P1hfypliQ1k&feature=player_profilepage

    1. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

      Re: Attack bird

      Wow, it's like Steve Irwin does Autumnwatch.

  47. Anonymous Coward
    Alien

    5-0

    that cock gets better odds than most people!

    and the legend "grows"!

  48. dssf

    Wear-abouts unknown...

    If it wears anthing, this cock(rel) will probably be wearing down other humans' throats... WIth every kill, this bad bird is probably doing a "jig" or "da funky chicken" routine somewhere.

    Maybe an ex-cock-fighting-guru turned repentent might write a story on this periodic cockup?

  49. dssf

    Is it too late to say...

    He got "Low Jacked" and sent to the Land Down Under (Darwin?)

  50. U4eA
    Coat

    The scores on the doors..

    Darwin 1 Tooled-up onanism 0

    Carry on...

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