back to article Brazilian cult condemns USB

There's an old adage in news journalism: news isn't necessarily what has just happened, but what readers haven't yet heard has happened. We were pointed in the direction of this story today, only to find it actually broke months ago. What the heck. It tickled us. Maybe it will tickle you. A Brazilian Christian sect has …

COMMENTS

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  1. James 5

    Hmm - Pitchfork

    .. No, don't see it myself. Looks more like a fledgling attempt at designing Londons underground system to me.

    Maybe they could hold it the other way up - in which case it looks like the upper part of someone carrying a briefcase or supermarket shopping. Surely that's not a sign of the devil !

  2. JohnBoy
    Megaphone

    Madness

    Well i'd never heard it so it was news to me and, yes, it tickled me too.

    Also - WTF? USB symbol a devil symbol. Crazy!

  3. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
    Pint

    "blue is the colour of Jesus' eyes"

    Yeah, that's likely.

    There must be a lot of spice down in the holy lands of neverending negotiations.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Thumb Up

      I wondered that

      Is there any evidence that the alleged Christian spokesperson called Jesus actually had blue eyes?

      1. chr0m4t1c

        Evidence?

        What does evidence have to do with it?

  4. Harry

    It's very similar ...

    ... to a logo that British Rail used to use.

    So perhaps they had better rip up all the UK railway lines too.

    1. LinkOfHyrule
      Joke

      Na, looks more like

      Na, looks more like that symbol the bloke formally known as Prince changed his name to!

  5. Mark C 2
    FAIL

    Jesus

    Coming from Palestine I very much doubt that he had blue eyes or even long golden hair as per many artist impressions you see in churches.

    More likely he was dark-skinned, curly short dark brown hair and brown eyes.

    For Christ sake, get it right!

    1. Elmer Phud

      The Book Sez . . .

      You go and ask yer standard Baptist and they'll tell you he was white and had blue eyes.

      Jaycee was also one of yer original NF members, him being not-really-a-jew-'cos-he's-jesus-stands-to-reason-dunnit and he's got blue eyes and blonde hair anyway.

      Unified Satanic Bollocks - that's what it means

    2. Chris Miller
      Happy

      But if Jesus was Jewish

      how come he was given a Mexican name?

  6. Bunker_Monkey
    Thumb Up

    T Shirt Please???

    Would look awesome on a white 'T' shirt, that would lol (for me and the guys from Big Bang).

    Knock,Knock,Knock,Penny?Knock,Knock,Knock,Penny?Knock,Knock,Knock,Penny?

  7. Graham Bartlett
    Pirate

    "though he did eventually convert to Christianity"

    Probably bcos he found that medieval Christians were doing viciousness, immorality and oath-breaking better than he was. (And still are, but that's another flame thread...)

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Troll

    Bluetooth

    "Bluetooth, however, is fine, Paz do Senhor Amado preacher Welder Saldanha, told Brazilian site Bobolhando, because blue is the colour of Jesus' eyes."

    Blue eyes and blonde hair? Is Jesus European? Where are the records that says Jesus had blue eyes? Oh are they from the paintings done by European artists who drew the pictures according to what they liked?

    They may as well say purple hair!

    1. ian 22

      Euro-Jaysus?

      As I recall there was some to-do over His parentage. Can't really say, can we?

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Clearly deluded...

    Did Jesus really have blue eyes? It sounds highly unlikely, given his Jewish ethnicity...

  10. Anonymous John

    USB 2.0 sockets are blue.

    So problem solved.

  11. Paul_Murphy

    That does NOT look like a pitch-fork.

    Nor does it look like anything the devil would carry - unless it's attached to a USB-powered harddrive of course.

    I suspect it's one of those 'oh and look, here is a silly story' - you know, like trust-worthy politicians or a non-greedy banker

    Also the 'devil has the best tines' remark made me wince, thank you

    ttfn

  12. Peter Storm

    USB

    Universal serial Beelzebub?

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Jesus had blue eyes?

    What the hell is an Arab Jew doing with blue eyes?

    1. Mike Moyle Silver badge
      Coat

      He got them from His Father's side...

      (...runs away...)

    2. This post has been deleted by its author

    3. bygjohn

      Early church policy

      Just like they built churches on pagan holy sites, placed festivals at the same time of year as existing pagan ones (Yule, spring festival of Eoster etc) and incorporated pagan practices (all that well-dressing and maypole malarkey), they also nicked iconography, in this case Baldur the Norse god as part of the takeover programme.

  14. MinionZero
    WTF?

    Brazilian cult condemns USB

    So USB is a sign of the devil. Helps explain a lot. So I guess a 3 pin plug is also devilish.

    WTF kind of world is this?! By the way, which century are we in again?!

    So they want to ban USB. I wish we could just ban cults ... or better still, ban cult leaders.

    Let me guess, the leader of this cult is another charismatic attention seeker with a grandiose sense that they talk for god. So they tell others that their words are quite literally the word of god and everyone has to follow what they say. (You can't get much more Narcissistic than someone who claims they speak for god! ... so the charisma isn't really charisma at all, its a warning sign of a deeply two faced manipulative Narcissistic person who also shows strong warning signs of also being Histrionic as they need to be in the centre of attention controlling everyone. So we get a person who combines a Narcissistic Personality Disorder with a Histrionic Personality Disorder. Which is why these lying two faced manipulators are so dangerous to others) … (Therefore is it any wonder the Catholic church for example, is now uncovering the abusive horror of these fake pious two faced people who seek to lead everyone).

    Many of the leaders found in every religion conform to this pattern of HPD + NPD behaviour. Its the same pattern of behaviour found in many politicians of all political parties. Religion & politics are after all both sets of beliefs which charismatic attention seekers seek to influence others to follow them (and by getting many people to follow them, that gives the leader money, power & fame (i.e. attention)).

    When the is the entire human race going to side line these charismatic attention seeking lying manipulative two faced bastards, who seek to control others for their own gain. That is infinitely more important than this cult decrying a fucking USB symbol!

    (As you have probably guessed, I'm an atheist and with very good reason, not least because of the centuries of work & evidence in science (in physics, chemistry & biology etc..) but also because of the centuries of work & repeating evidence found by researchers and philosophers building towards a psychological profiling of certain groups of society which have repeating patterns of behaviour).

    Right I'm off to plunge all my plugs under water, to see if they are witchcraft! … for I am the Witch Plug Finder General!

    /shakes_head ... and breath.

    1. Paul_Murphy

      Education.

      The answer to all the worlds problems - eventually.

      Just make sure it's a scientific education and not based on what people say is the truth.

      Religion should have died out after the middle ages - but it didn't, and I suppose there are many reasons for that, but fundamentally it's because it's easier for _a lot_ of people to let others do the thinking for them, and while we have un-exercised brains in our midst it will continue.

      ttfn

    2. Stoneshop Silver badge
      Badgers

      @MinionZero

      "I wish we could just ban cults ... or better still, ban cult leaders."

      Let's start at the root: ban stupidity and uninformedness.

  15. Lottie
    Joke

    Looks more like the shocker to me

    two in the pink noise generator, one in the scsi!

  16. Imorital

    Ah! It makes sense!

    That explains why every time you try to plug in a USB device it turns out the plug is upside-down!

    Damn you Satan!

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Ah! It makes sense!

      The spooky thing is that you usually have to turn it over at least twice before it's the right way up.

  17. Mike Richards Silver badge

    'because blue is the colour of Jesus' eyes'

    Really, are there a lot of good Jewish boys from Nazareth with blue eyes?

  18. Matt Piechota
    Stop

    P

    It was the best of tines, it was the worst of tines...

  19. Anonymous Coward
    FAIL

    Effing Pitchfork?

    It looks nothing like a pitchfork. A pitchfork has TWO prongs. What that looks like is a trident - more famously wielded by poseidon.

    1. raving angry loony

      pitchforks

      Actually, pitchforks can have anywhere from 2 to 16 tines or more, depending on what their intended use might be, and still be called pitchforks.

      Pedantically yours,

      me

  20. TimNevins
    Unhappy

    More to it

    There is far more to this than meets the eye.

    Almost 80% of all imagery features satanic references from everything star (Pentagon) to the All Seeing Eye of Horus/Lucifer (Almost every media outlet and even games publishers/developers seems to favour this).

    Links to freemasonry/satanism are not confined to media designers alone. Google "hand gestures" and look to see what bush,obamaa,cheney and clinton and ahmedinajad have in common.

    Look at symbols for AOL/Lucent/LucasArts etc.

    Even the new icon for Firefox in Linux Mint is using the same imagery

    1. Francis Boyle Silver badge

      Oh Please

      If I use Google I will find a thousand different brands of lunacy - you need to specify which one you're selling.

    2. thecakeis(not)alie

      @TimNevins

      Dude, what's the damage for two hits, and a reference to your supplier? That shit you're on seems like it's /fantastic/.

  21. Mage Silver badge
    Boffin

    Blue Eyes?

    I don't know, but red hair (like Finns and Celts have) is Jewish. King David was supposed to have Red hair. But wouldn't that be Green Eyes.

    Some Berbers have Blue Eyes?

  22. Mage Silver badge

    Blue eyes

    Wikipedia says

    Blue eyes are found in the Levant and the Middle East, especially amongst the Jewish population of Israel. However, many modern Israeli Jews are of European Ashkenazi origin, among whom this trait is common (53.7% of Ukrainian Jews have blue eyes)

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eye_color#Blue

    Who knows?

    Photography was invented somewhat later.

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Happy

    Blue eyed Jesus

    I remember ages ago in history classes my teacher said that Jesus being depicted as having European looks comes from the times when they were trying to convert the masses, especially the Vikings etc.

    Trying to convert people to follow someone who doesn't even resemble them is probably harder than trying to convert people to follow someone who appears to be from the same region.

    May have some truth to it.

  24. james 68

    "the Guardian - also late to the story"...

    hmmm yes the guardian is so late it beat you to the story by a full 3 months, but yes they were indeed 'late' as i have seen this story floating around for at least a year

  25. Dave 126 Silver badge

    He had brown eyes but a bluetooth

    Christianity, like the other monotheistic religions from the region we refer to as Arabia, had no tradition of representing god in art- until it came to Northern Europe with its pagan traditions of representing the Green Man and others. I guess that if were a European artisan you wouldn't necessarily know that the semitic peoples didn't have blue eyes.

    The more we learn about history through archaeology and gene analysis, the more we know about just how much peoples and people moved around the globe in centuries past, with mixing of genes and ideas. But I still belive JC had brown eyes - turned blue-within-blue by the spice Melange.

    But couldn't a three-pronged symbol be a sign of the holy trinity? Or a sign of Poseidon, the god of the sea, when JC was a fisher of men?

    Whatever - you can read what you want into symbols - except, of course for the Reg's comment icons which convey their respective true and only meanings across all forms off sentient conciousness! Umm...

  26. J 3
    Joke

    Ha...

    Imagine when they start thinking a bit more carefully (sic) about Apple's logo, then...

  27. Daniel B.

    The "evil" Trident

    With a lot of imagination, it would look like that "evil trident" used in Satanic imagery.

    ... except the three "prongs" should be about the same size, all end in a triangle point, and also be crooked in an angle to one side.

    That's like calling all Swastikas the Nazi Swastika. Oh wait...

  28. Joe User

    Pitchfork is the tool of the devil?

    Using that "logic", that means all farmers are in league with the devil, too.

  29. Anonymous Coward
    FAIL

    A pitchfork - seriously?

    Maybe a very mangled pitchfork, with a meatball on one tine and a block of cheese on another....

    1. This post has been deleted by its author

  30. This post has been deleted by its author

  31. GougedEye
    Jobs Halo

    Religion is all right

    as long as they don't try tell the rest of us how to live.

    Oh wait a minute.....

  32. Michael 36
    FAIL

    Word association football

    Try this.

    1 Peter 5:2 "the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour"

    Revelation 5:5 "the Lion of the tribe of Judah, the Root of David, has triumphed. He is able to open the scroll and its seven seals."

    Jesus = Devil by this type of erroneous logic that is typical of cults.

  33. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Don't ban The Cult!!!

    Was a really good gig yesterday.

  34. mhenriday
    Pint

    I'm taking mine out

    immediately ! Coniunctio interrupta !...

    Henri

  35. Ben Rosenthal

    mistaken identity

    I think they're confusing Jesus with Max von Sydow, a common mistake.

  36. Imsimil Berati-Lahn

    Yes that's right. Jesus had blue eyes, wore long hair, a goatee and spoke with an English accent.

    Cool story, despite only the slightest glimmer of truth, it seems perfectly plausible and entirely amusing.

    I guess the clue is in the name of the "news" website: Bobolhando roughly translates as Silliness. Whilst we're on the subject, "acidez bucal" is more like "spitting vitriol". These guys are well into their Playmobil too. I think we should arrange a twinning ceremony, hook the Playmonaut up with some gorgeous Playmo-garota de Ipanema.

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