back to article US politician: 'homosexual agenda' behind TSA groin grope

A US politician says he's uncovered the real reason for the recently introduced groin-grabbing TSA patdowns. He claims they're part of the dreaded, morals-sapping, country-destroying homosexual agenda. "The next TSA official that gives you an 'enhanced pat down' could be a practicing homosexual secretly getting pleasure from …


This topic is closed for new posts.
  1. Anonymous Coward


    Just between you and me, that's the silliest thing I heard all day. But if will get America's not inconsiderable population of homophobes to stand up for civil liberties, I'll play along...

    Yep, that's totally the reason they're doing this. Have you noticed how they always have someone of the SAME SEX pat you down? How do you explain that if it's not part of the gay agenda? Hmm?

    1. Anonymous Coward

      Sadly the hysterics are not far off...

      Because that's exactly what they are thinking.

      Twitter user @FlyingwithFish has investigated TSA policy for months, including this new 'enhanced' pat-down procedure, and found that the TSA agents who have to perform the pat-downs would prefer not to have to. He also found that those in hysterics over the millimeter and backscatter machines and the enhanced patdowns are worried exactly over "who touches their junk" (in the parlance of one engineer who was subjected to it at San Diego Airport and who now potentially faces an $11,000 fine over his behaviour).

      The hysterics over people of the same sex performing 'enhanced' pat-downs (nevermind the logic of "would you rather have a WOMAN touch your junk" or vice versa for female passengers) are becoming tiresome to be honest, and this politician is just taking ruthless advantage of this wave of righteous indignation to score points.

    2. The Indomitable Gall

      The grain of truth...

      The guy's flipped, BUT there is a grain of truth hidden in his ranting.

      We have same-sex pat downs precisely because of an assumption of heterosexuality, making the patdown unambiguously non-sexual. But now that society has accepted that this assumption is nonsense and that homosexuality is normal, we cannot assume that a same-sex patdown has no sexual connotations.

      So surely it's time for an end to the same-sex patdown?

      1. This post has been deleted by its author

      2. This post has been deleted by a moderator

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Jobs Horns

      Now now now now...

      All we gotta do is wait for the vehmently anti gay preacher to be photographed coming out of his hotel room with a nice escort boy in tow... I mean one of his young friends... Umm I mean his nephew....

      Or was that in a stall in the mens toilets in an airport.....

      Or.... ummmm

  2. Anonymous Coward

    You know, I'm opposed to absurd security theater...

    ...but this is one reason I really hadn't considered.

    *Cue 50 derogatory 'yank' posts from people who think that all Americans are exactly like this idiot*

    1. Vincent Ballard


      I've seen plenty of people on /. suggesting that the TSA is likely to see an increase in job applications from homosexuals. No idea what percentage were Americans, though.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Thumb Down

        And Slashdot would be wrong.

        How many gay people (other than chubby-chasers) would want to have to perform patdowns on the obese passengers who would rather risk the pat-down than having their flabbiness exposed on a backscatter or millimeter wave machine!

        I for one wouldn't.

  3. thecakeis(not)alie

    This is the sort of man who makes more than triple my salary.

    Truly there is no justice in this world.

    1. This post has been deleted by a moderator

  4. Eric Olson

    If there was a outed pool...

    I would pick him to be the next one caught in a two-man grope fest in a public bathroom, possibly complete with snorting cocaine off some male hooker's twig. We have a wonderful history in the US of the most strident anti-gay voices being the most closeted folks in this great nation.

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    "You'll see men hand-in-hand skipping down to adoption centers to 'pick out' a little boy for themselves."

    Riiiiight, because all gay people are sexually deviant and therefore paeophiles.

    Pillock, thank god politicos cannot get away with that kind of talk here...mainly.

  6. Anonymous Coward

    Better than....

    "Or, for that matter, airports will be chockablock with buff, pieced leathermen crowded into TSA perv-scan booths, drooling over grainy images of forbidden fruits."

    Better than bible thumpers drooling over grainy images of forbidden fruits I guess.

  7. Steen Hive
    Thumb Down


    Straight as I am, I'd rather be patted down by one of Village People than an "All-American-Family" sicko anyday.

    1. PT

      Village people?

      You know, the image of people with their arms up making a 'Y' in front of the scanners IS evocative.

      1. Anonymous Coward

        OMG...I'm gonna be in sooo much trouble now...

        Its going to be so hard to resist, doing the arm actions whilst being pat down... I really wish you hadn't of said that.... And now I'm going to be strangly/unexplicably drawn to the queue where the guy in uniform has a big tash... hopefully his colleagues will see the funny side rather than just drawing their sidearms..

    2. BorkedAgain

      Gay icons, sure...

      ...but I'm pretty sure only one or two of the Village People was actually gay.

      Mind you, it'd be kind of fun to have them pat you down. Something to mention at the next soiree. "A funny thing happened to me on that flight back from San Francisco..."

  8. A.T. Tappman (Chaplain)

    watch out for those homosexual breeding grounds...

    There'd be none of us gays about if it wasn't for us breeding all the time. We're just like bunny rabbits in that regard. Evil bunny rabbits that make the baby jesus cry.

    Do you think Delgaudio's been getting his biology lessons from the Texas education board perhaps?

  9. kain preacher Silver badge


    We had to out do you brits with the ISP censoring. Seriously this wack job does not speak for the majority of Americans.

    1. Anonymous Coward


      Unfortunately he speaks TO a significant minority. Speaking as a straight guy; I've never really understood the anger and fear (two side of the same coin?) directed at homosexuality. I understand not wanting to be groped by a complete stranger who might be 'getting off' on it (assuming that the gropees are 'fit' enough to provide the requisite thrill) but really, what are the odds?

      1. Scott 53

        @AC 10:49

        What are the odds? About 1 in 10, apparently.

        1. CD001


          Is that the odds that the person patting you down might be gay OR that they might be gay AND find you attractive?

          Put it this way - I'm straight but Ann Widdecombe doesn't "do it" for me I'm afraid.

      2. MeRp


        All things considered, when I really think about it, I think I'd rather someone groping me that enjoyed it over someone who didn't, if I have to be groped by a stranger. Maybe the TSA should seek out homosexual chubby chasers for the enhanced pat downs; then, at least, someone could be enjoying themselves. It would certainly de-stress the situation somewhat.

    2. Ken Hagan Gold badge

      Re: Hey

      "Seriously this wack job does not speak for the majority of Americans."

      Relax. We know. We have wack jobs over here, too.

  10. Anonymous Coward

    "playgrounds into homosexual breeding grounds"

    might have to suggest that to some friends of mine, they've been trying to adopt for years.

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    One more example

    If you want to see whack jobs, look to U.S. politicians.

    1. Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge

      Don't be silly

      our politicians are just DIFFERENT whack jobs. Nut-cases rule!!

      I'll get me coat.

  12. Jonathan 17

    What a silly goose!

    I give it 2 months till he is caught on having a tryst with a young male aide.

    1. LINCARD1000
      Big Brother

      Self-hate is a very unattractive look

      Aide? No, more likely a male prostitute - someone like this guy would have to PAY for someone to be with them, I cannot imagine there would be any willing volunteers.

      But yes, foregone conclusion that this guy is no different than the majority of other 'phobes and has more than an unhealthy interest in what gay men get up to in the privacy of their own bedrooms.

    2. Swarthy Silver badge


      The prefix homo- means "similar" or "same", as in a homosexual is one who is sexually attracted to the same gender; is a homophobe one who is afraid of people like themselves?

      Just asking.

      1. Walking Turtle

        Smell the Musty Face of Fear.

        ..."is a homophobe one who is afraid of people like themselves?"

        Among others (to the proportion of roughly two in twenty), yes.

        And that is all! ;)

  13. foo_bar_baz

    The secret agenda!

    "I can no longer sit back and allow Communist infiltration, Communist indoctrination, Communist subversion and the international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids."

    1. Glyn Smith

      no comment

      Gentlemen, please. No fighting in the War Room.

    2. Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge
      Thumb Up

      Perfect ...

      dr Strangelove quote.

      The guy probably thinks we're all "preverts"

      1. Anonymous Coward


        Correction: he probably thinks we're all "preverts".

        Now please, take that sidearm and shoot this vending machine!

        --beer icon, as long as it's made from pure rainwater combined with pure fermented American wheat.

  14. kain preacher Silver badge


    "If you want to see whack jobs, look to U.S. politicians."

    He is small time idiot , Barely above a mayor .

    1. jcipale


      An IDIOT nonetheless.

      1. Walking Turtle
        Paris Hilton

        And nonetheless...

        @jcipale: "An IDIOT nonetheless."

        ...a Useful Idiot to somebody Above Him, all the way up to but not past the Gates of Heaven. (Mammon Factor prevents entry.) Profitable Connivance all the way up; Useful Idiocy all the way down.

        At least when it's turtles, it's nothing but *turtles* all the way up... And all the way down too.

        Paris. She knows from Being Used for her Useful Idiocy, no doubt about it. Knowing does not stop it... And that is all. ;)

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Just how often...

    Just how often do these gay-bashing homophobes turn out to be closet queers (no disrespect to gay people intended)? What a bunch of hypocrites! I admit - I have been attracted to men in the past, as well as many more women, and I have been married to the same woman for almost 37 years! Sex just is - don't try to analyze it!

    1. Paul Crawford Silver badge

      No idea

      I have no interest at all in gay men, but unlike this politico, I don't feel threatened in the slightest by them. Why should I? The best evidence I could find is this analysis from the OKcupid dating site, which supports my view:

      Maybe he needs to get out more...

      1. bubba-bear

        Maybe he needs to get out more...

        I suggest that he check out the DC Eagle or the Green Lantern in DC; perhaps he is already familiar with them. Loudon county is near Washington, DC (the Washington DC Dulles airport is mostly in Loudon county).

        1. Someone Else Silver badge


          Maybe he needs to get outed more....

  16. mhoulden

    "Practising" Homosexual?

    I thought that kind of language had gone when we left the1970s, although judging by the photo the only bit of Delgaudio that hasn't stayed there is his hair dye/toupee. I do find it amusing when people like him say that gay men might come onto him, as it were. Does he consider himself attractive to members of the same sex?

    1. Paul Crawford Silver badge


      Of course he does not want 'practising' homosexuals, he wants ones that are good at it!

    2. LINCARD1000
      Thumb Down


      Do. Not. Want.

    3. Tim Schomer
      Big Brother

      Not really,

      He's probably wanting to ban them BECAUSE none of them have made a pass at him and he feels a little jealous and left out. (If I can't have it then no-one can!!)

  17. blackworx

    "homosexual breeding grounds"

    Question: how on earth would homosexuals "breed"?

    1. Anonymous Coward

      How to "breed".

      I don't want to spell it out too clearly, but you need to end up with a human fertilised egg implanted in a human womb.


      In this weather I've got my coat on already!

    2. Just Thinking

      Not literally

      I think "homesexual breeding ground" is based on the theory that it is contagious.

    3. crowley

      Re: "homosexual breeding grounds"

      They consider the homosexual condition to be a result of indoctrination.

      Therefore they 'multiply' by corrupting God's own people (on the 'straight' and narrow-minded path).

      To believe this was possible, one would have to have a pretty strong sense that ones own self would be corruptible in the presence of such opportunity!

      1. blackworx

        What a fool I've been

        And there was me thinking all along that when a mummy homosexual and a daddy homosexual love each other very much... Oh no, hang on.

  18. Titus Technophobe
    Thumb Up


    I am left with an image of the Airport being like the Blue Oyster Bar after reading this one.

  19. Pavlov's obedient mutt


    this wingnut and ol' Ted Haggard play down-on-their-knees together?

    mucking forons.

  20. Trygve

    "buff, pieced leathermen"

    Eh, wot? Pieced? Someone has chopped them up into bits?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      No, of course not

      Don't be ridiculous - obviously someone has outfitted them with firearms.

  21. Anonymous Coward

    Good for goose is good for gander

    Personally I'm looking forward to wearing a gay rights t-shirt, leather pants and cuffs and opting out of the perv-scan when I next visit the US of A.

    "You've got a real purdy mouth, security boi..."

  22. <shakes head>

    there is a small point.

    if they don't allow men to pat down women and visa versa <sic> presumably you need additional lines for gay, lesbian, transgender with the correct orientation of patter, to avoid any of those sexual things. :¬)

    1. Anonymous Coward


      What about asexuals? Or autosexuals? Do they get a free pass?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward


        ... good point. I suppose Hermaphrodites get patted down twice then?

    2. c0rruptd

      Title goes here.

      So who pats down the bisexuals?

  23. Robin Weston

    Ummm what?

    "homosexual breeding ground"

    How does that work then?

  24. This post has been deleted by its author

  25. Anonymous Coward

    I think we all should follow his example...

    ....and be good upstanding, homophobic christians, that way we can rid the world of these child molesters.

    Let's look to our Catholic Priests as a becon of light in these dark times!

    Oh wait......

  26. benj5386

    It is just me or.....

    ......does anyone else think he looks like Millhouse?

    Anyway, why are they picking on this one Irish guy? Pat Downs surely has a right to do whatever he wants in his spare time.

    1. blackworx

      Not Millhouse


    2. Da Weezil

      It isnt just you...

      I love the arrogance that this guy assumes that any gay guy could be desperate enough to be interested in him? He couldn't get that lucky surely?

      Most people assume that gay people have good taste... he needs to get those milk bottle bottoms refocused and look in a mirror and realise that anyone who touches him would do so only when absolutely necessary.. or maybe as an extremely generous act of charity... after a LOT of alcohol. Hell I think even a hooker would want extras!

      If that County Supervisors job is an elected post you would have to wonder about a community that would elect a guy like this... or if his personal prejudices are allowed to influence his ability to carry out his employment functions evenly.. (what the hell does a county supervisor do anyhow? - apart from spouting drivel like this )

      1. bubba-bear

        Loudon County, Virginia is VERY homophobi

        Loudon County is in Virginia, and is VERY homophobic. Loudon County is on the far fringe of the DC metro area and is largely rural and full of Bush and Reagan loving horse owning Republicans. A county supervisor is like a city mayor, but for a county.

        1. SirTainleyBarking

          So A bit like

          Brokeback Mountain then?

  27. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "defender of everything that is upright"

    > "defender of everything that is uptight"

    There you go, fixed.

    1. Maty

      alternatively ...

      "Defender of everything that is upright and not part of a gay male's anatomy"?

      Just asking.

  28. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Look at his picture

    I think he is afraid that he might find out in public that he enjoys it if another man his groping him.

  29. SirTainleyBarking

    Homosexyual Breeding grounds

    Bit of an oxymoron there?

    If I had to explain basic biology to an idiot like this, it would be like teaching a pig to sing

    But hell I'd rather be patted / groped down by a member of the Rainbow parade than a parochial Politico. With politicians you just don't know where they've been, and they expect you to buy them a drink first.

    But as other posters have said, if it puts the willies up the TSA, I'm grudgingly going to accept that this cloud may have a slightly tarnished silver lining

    1. The Fuzzy Wotnot

      That's the problem,

      The guy is obviously in complete denial of his sexuality he has completely wiped any notion of the basic understanding of human biology!

      Seems to have 6 kids and thinks the stork brought them!

      1. Walking Turtle


        Actually, many (though maybe not most) of that pencil-necked ilk have by now seen through (at least most of) that Stork Story; the smarter ones tend to blame the wife.

    2. John H Woods Silver badge

      "puts the willies up the TSA"

      I see what you did there!

  30. stu 4
    Thumb Up

    the real quote

    "The next TSA official that gives you an 'enhanced pat down' could be a practicing homosexual, caressing your privates with his slender hands, his rippling biceps straining under his tight shirt, his strong chest brushing against you, secretly getting pleasure from your submission," Loudoun County, Virginia, supervisor Eugene Delgaudio wrote in an email to his followers in the conservative organization Public Advocate, of which he is president.

    1. Tigra 07 Silver badge
      Thumb Up

      RE: stu 4

      I thought that quote was rather pornographic personally lol!

  31. Mark Olleson

    A prediction

    This guy is almost certain to be the next right-wing politician to get caught soliciting sex in a rest-room or sexually harassing a young male intern.

  32. min

    i dunno about y'all

    //but i find this guy hilarous. he needs his own TV show.

  33. Anonymous Coward


    Perhaps we are all misunderstanding him - perhaps like me he's just trying to justify having his bollocks grabbed by a sexy TSA girl instead. Ideally in a specially designed, split crotch leather uniform with high heels and a peephole bra.

    Now that would make me feel much better when I go through airport security

  34. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Yes, homosexuals breed

    Typically gay men use surrogate mothers while lesbians opt for artificial insemenation

    Can we drop the subject of gay breeding and get on with pointing and laughing at the dumb politico trying to further his career with a hate tract?

    1. sabroni Silver badge


      ...does that count as breeding? Seems like, particularly in the case of homosexual men and surrogate mothers, you're opting out of one of the most difficult bits, carrying the baby. And how do both homosexual men get dna into the child with a surrogate mother? Sounds more like one homosexual man breeding with a woman to me....

      Don't get me wrong, I love the gayers, but to claim that they can breed seems a bit of an exaggeration....

      1. bubba-bear

        Turkey basters

        The surrogate can get knocked up with a turkey baster, but in vitro fertilization is often used.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        technically yes.

        I never said homosexuals breed with each other, only that they breed, and anyway some of the surrogate mothers must be lesbians so the baby has a homosexual father and a homosexual mother and, shock horror, no more chance of growing up gay than any other child.

  35. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    Many years ago I visited a clinic for a, er, um, social disease.

    The med-tech tasked with obtaining samples was enjoying his work much more than the salary scale would indicate.

    1. asiaseen

      In my case

      the doctor doing the "groping" was the local bishop's wife.

  36. Cameron Colley

    So _that's_ who this guy is.

    I recognise the picture from Sherry Vine's excellent "You're A Homo" (sung to the tune of "Alejandro" by Lady GaGa).

    You can put me down for a couple of quid that this guy will be outed by a male escort he paid to bugger him.

  37. TeeCee Gold badge

    I see the problem.

    Presumably if online pr0n and World of Warcraft had been around when he was a spotty, bespectacled and friendless little shit living in his Mom's basement, with nothing to look forward to other than having his lunch money nicked the next day, he'd have grown up as a normal, well-adjusted bloke.

  38. DrXym Silver badge

    A question

    Why is it that so many of these virulently homophobic idiots get caught soliciting undercover policemen in public toilets, or get photographed going on holiday with rent boys? When they get caught of course they proclaim they were "researching" homosexuality or something similarly pathetic.

    1. SirTainleyBarking

      Researching Homosexuality

      A friend of mine who is of the Bear persuasion uses this argument. I have told him that he's been "Researching" for so long now he ought to have a PHd and call himself "Professor"

  39. This post has been deleted by its author

  40. jake Silver badge


    "Not to put too fine a point on it, but mayhap Supervisor Delgaudio doth protesteth too much."

    Methinks ElReg probably has a pretty good handle on the situation ...

    1. david wilson


      >>"Gays can't espouse tolerance and diversity and inclusion when all they seem to do is marginalize and make fun of everyone who doesn't agree with them 110% of the time."

      I'm not sure that any I know do that.

      Sure, there may be a small but possibly fairly visible minority who are militantly gay, though as yet, I haven't heard of many of them gathering to kick the shit out of straight couples caught dogging, or suggesting that anything but gay sex should be punishable by a death sentence.

      While I may personally find the odd person going out of their way to be 'outrageous' pretty rapidly gets tiresome outside the appropriate contexts, there are tiresome people in pretty much any subgroup of humanity I can think of, including the subgroups I belong to.

      >>"Being made fun of and marginalized for their beliefs. It's only fair gays show the respect to others that they demand from the world."


      I'm not sure I know many people who chose to be gay because it was 'a lifestyle they believed in'.

      It's not like choosing one human invention over another, like a variety of computer or a brand or sub-brand of religion.

    2. Anonymous Coward

      But, truth be told ...

      "If gays wanted to be taken more seriously they would stop acting like spoiled children when they don't get their way"

      You seem to be under the impression that all gay men are screaming queens, so it's only fair that you should be made fun of and marginalized.

    3. Graham Marsden


      "If gays wanted to be taken more seriously they would stop acting like spoiled children when they don't get their way each and every time and learn to listen to those who oppose and work toward a workable solution"

      And WTF is this "workable solution" you speak of? Most gays (and, indeed, others who enjoy forms of "alternative sexuality") simply want other people to *MIND THEIR OWN DAMN BUSINESS* and stop trying to tell them what they should or shouldn't do based on the critics' view of what is "right and proper".

      The majority of gays don't make arrogant pronouncements like this guy has, they just want to be left alone to live their own lives in peace and quiet, but if some prat opens their big mouth and starts implying that eg gay = paedophile then they get all the derision they deserve.

    4. VictimMildew


      > "Not to put too fine a point on it, but mayhap Supervisor Delgaudio doth protesteth too much."


      > Methinks ElReg probably has a pretty good handle on the situation ...

      Except that it should be "doth protest" or "protesteth", not a combination of the two.

      Apart from that little bit of hair-splitting, I agree wholeheartedly.

  41. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Hang on a minute

    In spite of the view of popular media, which lets face it, is some kind of gay sancturary for gays. I say it's a pretty safe bet that men don't want other men "touching their junk".

    You might as well say the same about a male TSA feeling up a woman and say, "well guess what!!! he might be HETROsexual....get over it!"

    Pathetic double standards.

    1. david wilson


      So you reckon that it's not possible for a gay TSA employee to do their job?

      What about male doctors treating women?

      Should we make sure they're all gay, just to be sure they can't be getting a kick out of it?

      1. Tigra 07 Silver badge
        Thumb Up

        RE: David Wilson

        David Wilson, i like that idea

        I want to work in a sexual health clinic if any straight person wants to swap?

        I have a macho job moving boxes and crates around all day, you may enjoy it more?

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: @AC

        I don't give a shit if they say they can do their job or not, I don't want some guy "touching my junk" as part of a routine security check.

        "What about male doctors treating women?"

        What about them? Since you don't seem to know, TSA security goons are not doctors and if you think for some reason they come under the same banner as them, you're an idiot. The same kind of idiot that thinks all this stuff is A OK.

        I couldn't care less if YOU go and submit to have your cock and balls felt by some jumped up security guard who may or may not be gay, but don't for a minute think that just because you're willing to stoop that low, I am too.

        In any other situation exept a medical one, it would be classed as rape. Remember that.

        1. david wilson


          >>"What about them? Since you don't seem to know, TSA security goons are not doctors..."

          Well, I'm sure you've enlightened everyone here with your amazing inside knowledge.

          Do you think that doctors are all above sexual excitement, whereas peasants aren't?

          >>"In any other situation exept a medical one, it would be classed as rape "

          Whoever was doing it, presumably, if there wasn't a reason for it, and you didn't consent.

          So what's the Big Deal about the 'they could be gay' thing, which, if you hadn't noticed, is the whole point of the article.

      3. Walking Turtle

        So what about male doctors treating women?

        Isn't there a sharp contrast between the two (medic vs TSA'er) vis a' vis the Mutual Consent factor... as well as Genuine Actual Necessity? (Having recently put up with a couple of American Corporatized Healthcare MDs doing Aggressive Medical Theater on YT (the patient) instead of actually providing Medical Therapy under the System, one feels deeply for the involuntary Security Theater Audience.)

        Badgers' Paws. In recognition of some Things Held in Common.

        And that is all! :)

    2. Craig Chambers

      Sexual detatchment in the workplace

      As an ex-nurse I can confidently say that I never once felt sexual arousal in dealing with any patient of any age. I dealt with people of all ages in various states of undress, and often had to administer treatments to the private regions of naked attractive people. I always offered women the option of a female nurse, but I never offered the same choice to men, though men were never offered (to my knowledge) an opposite choice by female colleagues.

      In any case, invariably, women were not at all bothered as what I was doing was my job, not copping a feel. Do you honestly think that people get sexual kicks out of this sort of thing?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        RE: Craig

        Craig, I'd be suprised if they did get sexual kicks tbh but it takes all sorts.

        Having said that, if it was my job to have a good feel of womens breasts as they were on their way through an airport checkpoint..... then well...

        You say you offered female patients the option of a female nurse. Why did you do that? Was it because you wanted to make sure YOU didn't get aroused? Of course not.

        Also, I don't buy the idea that doctors & nurses are the same as TSA employees. In your situation you have a patient who entrusts themselves to your care. The TSA just want to treat everyone like cattle.

        Not something I'll submit to.

  42. Tigra 07 Silver badge

    At the end of the day...

    You can always count on the backwards American politicians to say something like this.

    America - home of the free, as long as you're not black, a woman or gay.

    Britain has the right idea morally compared to them, first to ban slavery, first to allow gays in the army, first to allow females to vote, first to give blacks rights, first to give gay partnerships, first to give gay rights.

    America is morally bankrupt from this side of the pond.

    1. Andrew the Invertebrate

      Not really the first....

      slavery only became illegal in the UK on April 6th 2010, so there might have been one or two countries ahead of us there.

    2. Roger Varley

      Not Really First .....

      and it was New Zealand who first gave women the right to vote.

      1. Tigra 07 Silver badge
        Thumb Down

        RE: Roger Varley

        Roger read my post again.

        "Britain has the right idea morally compared to them"

        I spent the whole post comparing America and the UK, so why would "them" suddenly refer to New Zealanders?

  43. Andy 18

    Why do I get the urge to sneak some Viagra into the airport coffee?

    Embarrass some law enforcement folks!

  44. Anonymous Coward

    I don't want

    to be patted down by anyone.

    Or photographed naked.

  45. adnim Silver badge


    in performance of expected role is all that is required. sexuality, gender, race, religion and all our other individual differences should not matter one iota.

    I do except there are those who would prefer body searches to be performed by the same gender. However, an invasion of privacy is still an invasion of privacy regardless of whom does the invading.

    Some choice perhaps: "how would you like to be groped today, straight or gay, male or female?". I am sure we all have our own preference.

  46. ElbowNi
    Paris Hilton

    Slightly different issue

    Why is there a rule about male on male and female on female pat downs. Are they saying that there is a sexual element to the pat down, if not why does it matter the sex or sexual orientation of the person conducting the search?

    I for one would much prefer to be patted down by a member of the opposite sex as they are more gentle and less likely to break any of my delicate parts...

    1. JoeTheAnnoying

      Americans and sex...

      I hope you're British to ask such a question. Americans are obsessed with, and dreadfully afraid of, sex or anything that can be remotely related to it. To the point of absolute, appalling, irrationality. If it can be interpreted in a sexual way, it will be. We are all Beavis and Butt-Head:

      - People are objecting to the scanners not because they're being exposed to low levels of ionizing radiation on a regular basis, but because they might be seen in naked blurry unidentifiable pictures.

      - People cannot conceive of a person of the opposite sex patting them down in a non-sexual manner.

      - People worry about pat-downs of children because pedophiles might enjoy it, not because the children might be frightened and confused by such treatment.

      My father had a great quote:

      "Turn on the TV at any time of the day or night, switch through the channels, and you're guaranteed to find a man with a gun in his hand. Do the same thing, and you're guaranteed never to find a man with his dick in his hand. Now, consider, which is the healthier behavior?"

      I am always amused by American horror movies: You can show a woman having a spike shoved through her eye or having her heart cut out and get just a "Restricted" rating (under 17 admitted with parent or guardian), but if you show an erect penis it's an immediate X/NC-17/whatever-they're-using-now.

      Americans and sex. It's a wonder we manage to reproduce.

    2. sabroni Silver badge


      ..until you're asked, saucy!

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      you're right for the wrong reason

      They also have a better idea, in most cases, what a member of the opposite sex feels like through their clothes.

  47. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    It's for his own good

    I'd rather have my junk felt by some queer than risk having a terrorist take a bomb on board.

  48. Ken 16 Silver badge

    I'd rather be patted down by a hot girl at the airport

    Equal opportunities should mean there's an even chance of that, right?

    (only place it's happened so far was in CDG, Vive La France)

  49. Deadly_NZ

    FArkin Yanks

    They wont show a tit on tv but these insidious pat downs have got to be givethem a false sense of security and power...

    And those who show how much power they seem to have actually have none, and are probably sad people who go home and stand in the shower for hours on end and drink heavily at the thought of going back to work for the great democracy that is the Paranoid states of Insania the USA

    A granade cos the wiki leaks guy may need one after making the whole of the us government do the same thing for the first time in history ..... SHIT them selves HAHAHAHAHA

  50. Spasticus

    Strip tease

    They already ask for our jackets, belts and shoes, I just wish I had the nerve to completely strip off in the queue waiting to be felt up.

  51. Bob Foster

    Easy solution to get them to stop using the scanners

    Laughed my head off when I saw this

  52. Grease Monkey
    Paris Hilton


    I wonder what he thinks about body cavity searches.

    Paris? Who else?

  53. david wilson

    From the article...

    >>"The next TSA official that gives you an 'enhanced pat down' could be a practicing homosexual... "

    To be honest, given a choice, I'd probably prefer a practicing one over one who either can't get laid or who is filled with self disgust or celibate longings.

    I'd have thought that a quick businesslike check would be better than some extended period of nervous fumbling.

  54. A.T. Tappman (Chaplain)

    @ I'd rather have my junk felt by some queer than risk having a terrorist take a bomb on board.

    I wasn't aware that the two were mutually exclusive, is gonad cupping like some kind of new anti-terror alternative therapy for the frequent flier?

  55. Red Bren

    A new alarmist cry

    "Won't somebody think of my penis?!!!"

    I think he want's to be patted down by lesbians.

  56. Rogerborg

    Hey, Eugene, what'cha thinking about?

    Men having sex! Disgusting, sweaty, sordid man-sex! Man-bits being rubbed together, man-bits being thrust into other man-bits, thrust hard and urgently, thrust again and again and again and... uuuuuuuuurhhhh.

    Why won't these gays let me stop thinking about them having sex? Why won't they give me a moment's respite from these images in my head?

    1. david wilson



      I do wonder why some people get so worked up about what other adults do in private.

      When I hear a 'Christian' guest house' owner complaining that they're not allowed to be homophobic any more, I wonder if they'd just be better off being entirely honest and putting up a warning on their advertising that they simply find themselves unable to avoid spending all their time imagining their guests having sex.

  57. Paul RND*1000

    Stinking hypocrite

    Just another weaselly, extremist, self-serving politician who isn't fit for any office.

    If it was his preferred shower of useless bastards who were in the White House right now, he'd be hailing the pervo-scanners and groin groping as a win against those "evil terra-ists".

    Cucking funt. Just like all the rest of 'em.

  58. JaitcH

    Would choice reduce the complaints?

    Perhaps if the TSA allowed PAX to choose the sex of the person preparing to 'handle your junk' the number of complaints would decrease.

    Of course, some of the females employed by TSA might persuade anyone to stick with males.

  59. Robert Moore


    So I am starting a pool on how long before this wackjob is caught with a homosexual prostitute.

    I am guessing 3 months.

    Flames for the flaming fruit this guy probably is in private.

  60. Arclight

    Looking at his photo

    he has nothing to worry about. Gay men have taste

  61. Orv Silver badge

    So, let me make sure I understand this correctly.

    Government agents groping you is A-OK, as long as they don't enjoy it?

  62. A.T. Tappman (Chaplain)

    @ orv

    as long as they don't enjoy it *sexually*.. it's the power and control that they are supposed to enjoy in jobs in security theatre, sex might distract them.

  63. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    The REAL reason

    Eugene Delgaudio is just mad because no one in the TSA wants to touch his junk.

  64. Electro Boy

    Ah yes, Loudon County.....

    As someone who lives not too far from Loudon County, Believe me, the place is riddled with puritanical nutbags. Who can forget this recent gem from last year......

    Virginia is a scary place.

    1. Paul Crawford Silver badge

      Scary indeed.

      Welcome to the 21st century's version of the witchcraft trials...where the accusation alone is enough to ruin a life, and those who make false accusations rarely, if ever, face charges over it.

  65. bruceld

    Just wow...

    I'm a "crotch groping queer that breeds in special breeding grounds and I enjoy holding hands with my practicing-homosexual partner and skipping over to the adoption agency for a little boy to adopt" (gosh it even sounds stupid when I say it), but NO amount of money in the world would ever make me want to grope this fugly bitches crotch.

    Seriously. LOOK AT HIM! What a total vomit-fest. I wonder what his wife and kids look like and I can only feel sorry for them. Anyone have any links to share?

  66. Mike Lovell
    Thumb Up

    Russian System?

    When I flew out from Moscow I was patted down by a female security guard. Personally I prefered it!

  67. Anonymous Coward

    Convenient that "Public Advocate" is located adjacent to a porn store...

    What a most delicious irony! I noted that the address of the Public Advocate office [1] is in close proximity to a porn shop (MVC Late Nite) [2] (I know 'cause I work nearby). Must make it convenient for Mr. Delgaudio to get his fix.

    The beer's for choosing such a great location -- cheers!

    P.S. It's even more ironic that MVC used to have the street-facing store front to the building Public Advocate's in! Mr. Delgaudio didn't even have to leave the building!



  68. nyelvmark

    Intelligence is a subtle concept.

    "...although the hugely hetero hero makes $40,000 a year as a county supervisor, he pulls in $150,000 as president of an organization whose website proudly proclaims its mission to include "defending the rights of fathers, mothers and children to live their lives free from government intrusions"

    So, could one of you guys explain again how he's an idiot? Maybe you can tell us how much you make from your hobbies?

  69. Glenn Charles
    Big Brother

    the solution

    Insist on a patdown, with beans the night before.


  70. Anonymous Coward

    Probably gay and in denial

    Have you ever noticed that a lot of these extreme homophobes are actually homosexual in denial them selves?

    What ya want to bet on this ass clown?

This topic is closed for new posts.

Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2019