Very good, but..
....will it shorten the time period between Monday morning to Friday pubtime?
International boffins are vying with one another in a race to topsy-turvinate the world of physics this week, with a flurry of results due in imminently from radical fabric-of-time-and-space-rending experiments at the Large Hadron Collider - most brutally powerful particle-pummeller ever assembled by the human race. “It …
I'm sure the bastards that were running their own LHC-type atom smasher in another universe were thinking that very thing when they created our universe. And don't they all regret it now, as of of course the creation of the universe has been generally regarded as a very bad idea.
Now, stick out your thumb and let's get off this planet already!
It will lengthen the universal value of 'pubtime' ensuring that plenty of quenching can occur
Explanation: (Non-science types might want to look away...) The more ions in the fire, the more quenching will occur - As spacetime is an instrinsically bound volume, more ions in the limited spatial confines of the LHC means that the temporal dimention must increase to accommodate the growing demand for quenching.
surely you could have got a little more scaremongery on that one.. the words Meltdown, Cryogenic, Contamination and Gasification all sound good too..
catastrophic electro-meltdown-initiated-cryogenic-helium-superfluid-boiloff-contamination-and-gasification-explosion mishap
"Meanwhile the Collider will continue to smash heavy ions until 6 December, when it will shut down for the Christmas break."
I do hope they are leaving some guards on-site while everyone is at home enjoying Christmas. Who knows what otherworldly/otherdimensional creatures could crawl out of the collision caverns when no one is looking...
It's not a 'non-denominational winterval' - It's St Nicholas Day, which is when many people on the continent celebrate the 'commercial' side of Christmas as opposed to the 'religious' bit... continental kids have their visit from Santa then.
They're closing it down because nobody will be sober enough to operate it. ;-)
And who are we to spoil their party?
They simply feed the tinsel into the particle source whatsits,crank up the accelerator thingamajigs a bit, then continuously adjust the collision aim doodad so that the point of collision gradually moves along the entire length of the tunnel. You can see the result of those collisions in the pic in the article; if that's not festive I don't know what is.
Yes, offices certainly are decorated. We are all people too, really! The Ion results are really, really nice - it's quite a privilege to be peering back in time.
This article, too, reminds my why I enjoy reading El Reg. You'll be pleased to know that links to these articles are usually doing the rounds at CERN.
Hmm.. sounds like a few corners could be cut trying to get those last few TB of data before they shut down for the winter break.
Needless to say any aliens visiting our solar system are going to be picking up some very strange readings very shortly and might show up to have a look.
If there is a massive unexplained "seismic event" and mass UFO sighting near Geneva on that date don't say I didn't warn you.
Methinks the recent UN "Alien Ambassador" appointment is no coincidence.
AC, because he can't find his crowbar OR hazmat suit... but does have a substantial collection of strange and exotic metal fragments which seem to levitate a magnet when cooled to 5.2 deg C...
I understannd 'quarko', but what is 'gluotic', exactly. Derived from 'gluon', yes..... but why not 'gluonic'?
Is this difference related to the difference between 'biotic' and 'bionic'?
P.S. If Z bosons are 100 times mire massive that protons; where do they come from and where do they go to? (Since I assume they don't hang around for long; otherwise we'd keep bumping into them, in a manner of speaking.)
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