For a title-free universe
"...before some galactic equivalent of the Germans chuck their beach-towels on all the best planets..."
Already starting to colour the map of the universe pink, Mr. Page, are we?
Stargazing boffins say they have discovered evidence of a potentially habitable world orbiting a star just 20 light-years from Earth. They add that the circumstances of the discovery suggest that the galaxy may be "teeming with potentially habitable planets". Artist's conception showing the inner four planets of the Gliese 581 …
"Let's all hope that any denizens of the possible, habitable Sunrise Belt of Gliese 581g - or perhaps of 581d, should it in fact be habitable - have failed to evolve beyond the level of pondlife or primitive gibbering tree-dwellers, and as such will not be offended by the Bebo drivel-blast solecism."
It is a little known fact that highly intelligent life actually was discovered on Gliese 581d some years ago, and the Bebo transmissions are actually the first interstellar weapon of mass destruction exactly intended to cause the inhabitants to un-evolve back to the level of pondlife and primitive gibbering tree-dwellers.
There should be a law, or commission or something to stop morons, not only breeding, but also sending idiotic drivel into space. Surely what we beam into the cosmos should at least be monitored and censored to at least show the good side of humanity?
I mean come on. "Laters...." ???
> Our bodies are made of bones ... We have senses. Smell, Taste, Sight and Touch. Without any of these things, we wouldn't live.
Correct me if I am wrong, but I don't believe any of these senses are prerequisites for life either...
And are all Bebo users deaf? WTF do they teach kids at skool these days?
Please make them all go away.
actually a very exciting discovery and will be interesting to see what else is found... I do think there will be some red faces and a lot of explaining to do though when intelligent life is finally found and says a big hello to planet earth - some of them are very likely to be the ET's various governments have been strenously claiming they know nothing about for decades. what will said governments do then? admit they have been lying to everyone for 50+ years? I think that might severely dent people's general confidence in them and possibly lead to mass unrest.
i don't see any way this can be "disclosed" without seriously buggering up the power/control infrastructure in the world, which for obvious reasons, the associated parties will not allow to happen.
they need to get working on some extremely good excuses.
>>what will said governments do then? admit they have been lying to everyone for 50+ years? I think that might severely dent people's general confidence in them and possibly lead to mass unrest.
Or they might be a new government and blame it on the previous government while simultaneously broadcasting soundbites insisting they are a "Strong and stable government", just like the one we don't have now.
At least we won't have to worry about a comet strike any more. Although I don't see why we couldn't just go to Curry's instead :P
Um..., who the hell are you talking about, everyone I've talked to has lost all confidence in Government a long time ago. Maybe your talking about the Banksters, I believe they may still have confidence that things are running properly.
Let's see, 20 Light years, that means they should just about be recieving America's Funniest Home Videos and Doogie Howser M.D. about now.
That'll send the right impression about us.
The broadcast was particularly bad as it was a directed beam of microwaves. Prior now to its arrival you should know that its inhabitants now are but simple peaceful unicellular organisms no more andvanced that your average slime mould here on earth. Evolution has so far been stagnant due to the weak red rays from their sun and thick atmosphere.
When this broadcast arrives, it will by chance just give enough energy to one particular molecule of one particular vital enzyme or protein, say a heat shock protein or something (or whatever analogs they have) causing it to malfunction and pass on a mutation.
This mutation as you will see will be but the start. If you will, the tip of the iceberg of such a calamitous evolutionary cascade that by the time we arrive there some 50-100 years ago (depending on when exactly the Vulcans and this Zephram Cochrane dude eventually show up), we will find the whole planet inhabited by a somewhat humanoid, highly evil, and while debatably intelligent, definitely slimy, life form.
(" I say we take off, and nuke the site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure. " Something like that's bound to be said I suspect )
Any recipients (un)fortunate enough to have received and translated the messages from planet Bebo will have concluded from them that we pose no threat whatsoever. Though they may puzzle how such an obviously retarded species ever got the technology to create fire, let alone beam messages across the void.
Oh yes, one small point - you missed out a word:
>tidally locked - with one face constantly turned to its primary, like Mercury
should read "_unlike_ Mercury". it's been known since the 60's that this wasn;t the case.
also, won't they be wondering when our moon is going to show up?
how ironic would it be if we have actually conquered every advanced planet within 80 lightyears decades in advance by scaring the shit out of them with transmissions of our millitary might, only to show up with no weapons wrapped in padded white suits saying "we come in peace"?
IMHO, we should be putting ion cannons and nuke launchers on the ISS.
When the invasion force gets here, it will be because Firefly got cancelled.
She's also apparently related to Malcom X. You'd think she'd be a bit more well-read.
Hey, at least she's interested in doing Broadway and likes Doctor Who. That's quite a bit better than, say, wanting to be on ...
You know, I just realized that I watch so little TV now that I can't come up with an example of a truly insipid show. I know about Huge, and Glee, and Mad Men, but those are all pretty good. Hunh.
Anyway, Broadway and Doctor Who? It could be a lot worse.
The big temperature differences will, even in a non rotating world, result in huge atmospheric storms and if it has surface water currents as well. I certainly wouldn't see the place as a long term colony prospect. You would likely only be able to inhabit tiny portions of it and be constantly subject to the storms.
We should start building ships to take all the important people to one of the new worlds right away as ours is definitely going to be hit by a big asteroid in a few years time. Sadly, some of us lowly engineering types will have to stay behind to launch the first wave of spaceships but we will follow later. Important people like politicians, senior bankers, reality show celebrities, Scientologists and the like should pack only a single suitcase as space on the space ship will be limited.
The comment that gravity of 1.1 to 1.7 Earth normal would be "good for holding an atmosphere" may be misguided. Many scientists believe that even the Earth would have far too dense an atmosphere for life (as we know it, Jim) if not for our freakishly large Moon. In fact, it might be a fairly close replica of Venus - and none of us would want to live there. Since it is now thought that the Moon was created in an extremely improbably collision between the primitive Earth and another planet about the size of Mars, planets habitable by creatures like us may be quite rare.
If the planet is roughly 3x Earth size well within the Goldilocks zone and liquid water, it likely has a moon with all the right properties. Gravity that's high and low enough, liquid water, atmosphere, some sort of "day".
I wouldn't look to the planet itself. Too much gravity. But a moon might serve for Earth II.
Actually if we were ever to detect an alien invasion fleet we should send a combined British German counterstrike force, if they've been monitoring earth they should know that all truly evil Hollywood super villains are either British or German, just one broadcast of "Thank you Lord Vader you may fire when ready", "ja wohl, mein captain" should have them scurrying away !
Actually the aliens are now watching our 1990's TV shows (20 light years) and so must be by now starting to sense the quality of our shows deteriorating. That means the poor Alien sods are going to be subjected to our reality TV shows within the next 10 years. At which point that will help halve their IQ's and their viewing figures and invasion plans won't recover for decades. ;)
I can see how this is going to go!!!!
With knowledge and love of GOD we will go with bold entreaty whither no man had gone before to spread the word and the gospel of our king.
As long as we restrict communications to White American Christianity make sure no Islam extremist terrorist make are able to commuincate with the new planet then we'll be okay.
I know that one day life on another planet will be found, and this will either bolster relegion or end it. I fear both, One will bring out the extreme nature on both sides and we'll see the church trying to block access like they have done in the past, the other will see people take a loss of faith and come to terms that there may be no afterlife so they can do whatever they want. In essence, when we find new life I rekon there's a larger chance we'll kill ourselves long before we ever get to actually travel to the planet.
They will nuke their own planet to commit suicide after finding out how fucking depressing & inhospitable the universe really is.
If I found proof the only other intelligent life had created Web 2.0, I'd want to find another universe too. Oh, wait...
OH MY GOD! IT'S FULL OF .... BADGERS!
A planet which has seven times the mass of the Earth ... and which orbits a red dwarf sun. Oh yeah, that's very Earth-like. At best, its gravity would be insufferable and its ambient mean summer temperature will be low enough to freeze CO2.
How is this a potentially habitable world (any more so than, say Mars)?
Oh ... and 20 light years is of course an easily traversable a distance, isn't it?
I think it is quite clear that there is no life there. But there might be a liquid water there at the equator. But no life, my argument for that is this star system is actually too cold for a life to evolve there.
More information on this solar system.
How would they translate the Bebo gibberish into their own language anyway?
I always chuckle when I hear that we're broadcasting something into space. It's not like we've decoded their broadcasts yet, so how the fuck are they going to understand ours?
One of the fascinating aspects of meeting another race, would be how language had developed for them and how possible would it be to translate between the two.
Aliens are going to avoid us: all the drivel we've pumped in to space on various different wave lengths would make any intelegent life cringe and flee from fear of being infected by stupid.
It's just as likely that aliens have already taken steps to prevent humans from creating interstella travel so we leave them alone.
And then of course they may just blow us up, 'So long and thanks for all the fish'
It doesn't make sense to expect habitable conditions on a planet? You would want a planet that is slightly too hot?
With the little I know about these matters, usually astronomy says that a proto earth (before life) is much like Venus, with a gigantic greenhouse effect due to the enormous CO2 concentrations).
IOW when life starts converting this in O2, temperature drops somewhat.
If I understood it correctly this new planet already is a bit too cold, with greenhouse effect. Terraforming it would make it colder even?
When AGW scientists predict global catastrophe from a temperature increase of a couple of degrees, what's the chance of finding another habitable planet?
It all seems a bit unlikely.
In an infinite universe with infinite possibilities, you'll need an infinite amount of time to find something you want.
This just arrived.
OMG!! You loserz from Sol C spammed the hell out of us! WTF!, I was downloading porn when your spamfest locked up my router!
You guys blow whales and your cat looks like something I wiped my butt with last night! I bet you low-gravity wussies can't even arm wrestle my 6 year old sister! Wanna make something of it homo?--bring it!!!
XTEGMoELNAMp The Devourer--Gliese D
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