back to article Clegg's taking away Your Freedom

The coalition government's wiki-powered loony magnet - Your Freedom website - which aims to collect the internet's very finest ideas - is shutting tomorrow, or rather "entering the next stage". Clegg, in a YouTube video watched by literally 150 people at the time of writing, said the first thing ministers would have seen when …

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  1. James 5
    Happy

    Clegg?

    Flying, biting insect. Source of stinging pain. Is that the one?

  2. sledge

    Play School

    Is it just me or does anyone else feel like they are being spoken to by Bungle from Play School when Clegg addresses the nation?

  3. Jimmy Floyd
    Boffin

    Floyd's Law

    I define this law thus:

    "The nuttiness of the proponent of an idea is in inverse proportion to his or her grasp of language."

  4. Chris Harries
    Happy

    Green

    I think the biggest discussion on there was the abolishment of the law on Cannabis. Many subjects started and many comments on each, almost all in favor. It gave me a bit of hope for England, though I do stress "a bit"

    1. Red Bren
      Happy

      It's just you

      Because Bungle was in Rainbow.

      1. Steve K Silver badge
        Badgers

        This is disturbing......

        http://cyriak.co.uk/gifs022.html

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Thumb Up

          It's Bungles all the way down

          That is all.

    2. Sir Sham Cad

      But, Geoffrey?

      What about all the suggestions the boys and girls have sent in to us?

      "Sorry, Bungle, but George won't give us any money for them!"

      "Well, George, that's just being mean!"

      "Well, you know how tight he is, he won't even give me any money for Trident!"

      "Shut up, Zippy!"

    3. CGX

      I'm sure I won't be the only one to point this out, but...

      Bungle is from Rainbow.

      Maybe you've confused him with Big Ted.

    4. Stuart Gepp
      FAIL

      Bungling Bungle

      Bungle was from Rainbow

    5. Anonymous Coward
      Troll

      Title....Hmmm

      Bungle was from Rainbow

      I have a DVD box set

      Hence Anon

      Oh and Clegg & Cameron are muppets

      Don't you think it looks like a government official?

      1. Scorchio!!

        Muppetry

        If Clegg and Cameron are muppets what are the creatures who went before them, the ones who bungled government by spending/wasting vast sums of money on IT projects that have (e.g.) crippled tax collection, the ones who not so accidentally let 3 million people walk in and have citizenship having told the electorate in their 1997 manifesto they'd maintain 'strict control' over immigration, the ones whose prime minister took our country to war more times than any single prime minister before him, including one that was definitely on a pretext for his boy friend Jebbula the nut?

        1. Graham Dawson

          @scorchio

          Skeksis?

          1. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

            Re: @scorchio

            "I hate your whimper."

    6. AndrueC Silver badge
      Thumb Up

      Unfortunate name

      I'm a fan of Lost of the Summer Wine so every time I hear the name Clegg I think of Norman :)

      1. MJI Silver badge

        Then there is Wallace

        During the election I had this weird vision of a Party Political Broadcast of Nick Clegg riding in the sidecar in A Close Shave, to the W&G theme music.

        This really leaves some strange thoughts - I still can't help but hum the theme music to W&G when I see him on TV.

        Sometimes the mind does some weird stuff!

        To all the non UK posters Norman Clegg in LOTSW was played by Peter Sallis who also plays Wallace in W&G.

    7. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      You've been listening to Sarah Palin again.

      Haven't you?

    8. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Laws

      We wouldn't need laws if everyone would only work 18 hours a day for the barest pittance, spend only enough to keep themselves alive and then give every last remaining cent to the nearest rich person.

      Why can you be the first to usher in this brave new era in which we don't need any laws?

    9. blackworx

      Oi Mr Smarty Pants Floyd

      I have an idea if your so clever why dont you just take your smart alec coment's rite and stick them where the sun dont shine at least the people you are slagging off have got the right idea ther only trying to make this country gr8 again you are just THE SAME as all the polish i bet you would give THEM all a free roof over ther head's and HONEST DESCENT hard working people get the shitty and of the stick EVERY TIME it is our DENSITY or so it seems!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Headmaster

        Density

        It may be your density - I prefer destiny myself...

        1. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

          Re: Density

          *whooosh*

        2. Anonymous Coward
          FAIL

          Nope, definitely your density

          Didn't quite get the joke, did you?

        3. blackworx

          Re: Density

          #FACEPALM#

      2. Jimmy Floyd
        Happy

        @blackworx

        Brilliant...

  5. SlabMan

    I'm beginning to understand...

    ... why the machines locked all the dumb humans away in the Matrix. It's well known that you can power a small lightbulb from a potato. One sizable couch-potato ought therefore to be capable of powering a 1U server, most likely using harvested methane. Varying loads on the server could be catered for by adapting the subject's nasty nylon tracksuit trousers into a capacious methane reservoir. Do this on an industrial scale and it should be possible to build self-sustaining battery farms of commentards locked in an infinite loop mutual flame-baiting. The resulting tin-sheds can be hidden away on an industrial park, leaving us more enlightened folk free to wander in Teletubby-style pastoral bliss.

    Elitist - moi?

    1. Cameron Colley
      Joke

      What makes you sure you're not a Morlock?

      If you're in IT then, at least stereotypically, you're already a hairy troglodyte...

    2. Elmer Phud
      Thumb Up

      Energy

      You missed the opportunity to also harness the static electricity from the shell-suit ( We all know that the know-how to feed static back to the grid has been suppressed).

      As the couch-potoato(e) writhes about getting all worked up over teenage pregnancies caused by illegal migrant benefit cheats involved in the slave trade while running cannabis farms and all this on crack and plant food, there wll be more than enough generated to power the telly and also several local CCTVs.

    3. The Indomitable Gall
      FAIL

      Irrelevant pedantry

      You cannot power a lightbulb from a potato.

      The majority of the energy generated in the famous "potato clock" mechanism is not generated by the potato itself, but is released by the corrosion of the anode. The potato acts merely as an electrolytic medium.

      <-- Your GSCE General Science.

  6. nichomach

    So...

    ...the loonies'll be back spekeing their braaaaaaines on HYS then...?

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Joke

    @Chris Harries

    Many subjects started, but they all ended up something like this:

    Yeah, man, well... right legalise - ooo food, nom nom nom...

    Although on the whole I agree - at a time of decreasing tax revenue and booming drug use, HM Treasury should make a pot windfall - produce it cheap, tax it so that it is as expensive as it currently as, sell it to over 21s.

    It would be interesting to see that happening - with wide scale decriminalisation, would we get a noticeable reduction in A&E costs, due to less aggressive drunken chavs out for a fight?

  8. Paul Johnston
    WTF?

    Where to start?

    "We can't have that if policies are only made behind closed doors!"

    And cuts in the spending review will be chosen by a "Star Chamber"

    Subtext "We are very open to ignore what you say but will always pay lip service to it."

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Alien

    Requests for UFO Disclosure being taken seriously?

    If anything this would be good, but we all know it wont happen as its the US where the majestic 150 gather and despite 70% for disclosure... It aint going to happen as too much at risk, or so they believe....

    Just get on with it already!

    1. hplasm Silver badge
      WTF?

      Let me be among the first to say-

      Eh?????

      1. Miek
        Alien

        Me Too

        I would like to second that with "huh?"

  10. Desk Jockey
    Headmaster

    The joys of democracy

    And people wonder why the British democratic system is buggered? Only in politics can success be defined as getting as many stupid people as possible to vote for someone who has no qualifications or experience relevant to the job!

    Leadership is about making people think YOU are one the one with the ideas and the means to carry them out. Asking a committee of several million to suggest ideas to various problems suffers from a few minor flaws...

    On the other hand, rail roading the opinion of several million people who disagree with going to war with someone is a lot worse so I guess this can only be seen as 'progress'!

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    307 views as i type!

    Looks like you have succeeded its showing 307 views of the video just now

    1. Annihilator
      Happy

      That's because

      ~157 people read El Reg. Wooo! High fives all round! You're 7 more popular than Nick Clegg

  12. Nigel 9

    "Government tries something new - lets extract the urine!"

    <sigh>.... Much as I liked spitting image as much as the next bloke, I do really grow tired of the doom-mongers who rubbish every government before its walked in the door.

    1. Country is ****ed due to MASSIVE overspending.

    2. This new (shock - coalition! watch as the world collapses etc etc) government see's there is no cash left, and tries to gather a bit of public opinion whilst sifting through the idiots..... in an attempt to make policy that is remotely popular

    3. Attempt is laughed at, and they are blamed for every cut for the evil man they surely are.

    My political bias aside, it amazes me how forgetful this country is, and how they expect money to magically appear out of thin air.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Troll

      Actually it did appear out of thin air.

      and they gave it to the banks.

  13. Pinkerton
    Unhappy

    It's easy to take the piss...

    It is and one should never pass up the opportunity.

    However, on a more serious note (hey, it's not Friday, yet) the great unwashed do get what they deserve half the time.

    How many people, at some time or other, have moaned that The Government Just Doesn't Listen? When the Government *does* listen all there is to listen to is an avalanche of appallingly-rendered cockwaffle. Anyone who *does* have something sensible to say is drowned out (OK, avalanches, drowning... mixing my metaphors, but you get the idea).

    There will no doubt be a bunch of cynics (round here? Shome mistake, shurely!) who will suggest that there's no point in writing anything useful as it'll be ignored.

    Well, we'll never know now will we? No bastard wrote anything useful!

    I do think it's a shame that we (by which I mean everyone else, natch!) couldn't have been just a teensy weensy bit more grown up and used this as an opportunity to either (a) get something changed or (b) prove beyond all doubt that even when we are asked for our opinions we are ignored.

    Ho hum.

    1. tim99uk
      Happy

      Why not write your MP?

      I agree with Pinkerton, the powers that be are trying to listen ...thats gotta be good.

      I regularly email my MP on issues, Mr Benyon he must be getting annoyed with my mails but thats what he signed up for when he became my MP :)

      Tim

  14. MinionZero
    Unhappy

    Great news!...

    I for one can't wait to see all the good progress this ideas website will bring us! ... Wonderful isn't it! ... Well that's what I would have liked to have said. It felt good for a few seconds at least. Ahhh... to dream...

    Meanwhile the cynic in me knows only to well sadly politicians are inherently Passive Aggressive Narcissists (and some are aggressive Narcissists) … (because their behaviour gives them a competitive advantage in gaining power) and as such they have a pervasive pattern of negative attitudes towards any idea which isn't their own, combined with an endless need to obstruct and resist any change they do not instigate or fear they are not in control over. Therefore they secretly don't want people to tell them what to do, (because as a child they suffered excessive parental control over them and they spend their adult lives fighting back against perceived control over them) and therefore that's why they seek positions of power over others! Of course they see themselves defending against the control of others and so (in their mind) its everyone else's fault why things go wrong, yet all they end up doing in their endless battle of obstructing and resist others is end up making chaotic situations even worse. Yet no one can tell them they are wrong because they then sink into procrastination and sulking and seeing themselves as being victimized by anyone telling them they are wrong. Sound familiar!!! The profile of a Passive–aggressive is the profile of a typical politician, regardless of which party they are in. Therefore this web site will fail.

    Therefore I despondently wait to see all the *lack of* progress this ideas website will sadly really bring us. :(

  15. Arnie
    FAIL

    @ Chris Harris

    We can expect the coalitions stance on drugs in december. You can bet your bottom dollar its not gonna be a more liberal approach. They'll just keep sentancing law abiding citizens whos only crime is to grow a bit of percy and not want to be part of the ever growing unregulated black market that is cannabis prohibtion.

    overgrow.gov.uk

  16. irish donkey
    Thumb Up

    Decriminalise Cannabis along the same lines as the Netherlands

    Seems to be a bit of a favorite. So we shall be expecting that change in the law Nick?

    nick...

    Nick.....

    NICK!

    Oh gone now? Oh well it was good while it lasted.

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    They ask lots, they say lots, but watch what they actually DO!

    Is that pretender trying that feed them cake gag again, that went down soooo well last time it was tried, except it didn't!

    The Political Class must know Ponzi democracy is slowly dying, because its central theme of giving other peoples money to the masses, to keep them quiet, is running out of suckers (and future suckers) to fund it.

    When the money finally runs out, what cunning plan will be tried next by the rich, to keep the masses quiet and keep the masses from depriving them of life and riches?

    1. tim99uk
      FAIL

      What are they doing?

      They are trying to stop the money running out after a decade of monetary policy from Mr Bean....

      And lets face it...1 in 5 are employed by the state and dont get me started on the welfare class!

      The easiest thing to do is keep spending, NIMBY's will love them...but the country will be smegged.

      Tim

  18. envmod
    Black Helicopters

    take me to your dealer

    majestic 150? i thought it was only 12 - have they been on a recruitment drive? how do you app--

    *gets bundled into unmarked transit van*

  19. Rogerborg

    Amused but not surprised

    to note that the majority of the (serious) suggestions are about creating new laws and new offences, rather than getting rid of old ones.

    It's true, Freetards really are a teeny vocal minority. Most of us would rather flog 'em.

  20. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    bullshite

    "We can only hope that Clegg and the coalition can seize the day."

    LAUGHABLE, just like the shite they are spouting about, well, everything really!

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    lol

    > hey'll just keep sentancing law abiding citizens whos only crime is to grow a bit of percy

    Anyone still suggesting it isn't harmful? ;)

    1. McToo
      Flame

      Yep!

      When it's made into tea or cakes (hmmmm.... nom nom nom). Smoke it and you get the same detrimental effects as smoking tobacco, unsurprisingly. Or are you referring to 'mental health' issues reported by the Daily Fail et al? The same guardians of our health and morals that reported the deaths of those teenagers up north as being because of M-Kat and the post mortems showed no mephodrone in their bodies? But hey, why let facts get in the way of a good knee jerk?

  22. CygnusRex
    Big Brother

    Come on, it's a brilliant idea

    Look, it's very simple, and employs the monkey/typewriter principle.

    If enough people are allowed to input to a site then it is not beyond the realms of possibility that every proposed government policy has a chance of recieving a direct hit, no matter how unsavoury that policy is.

    This then allows a spokesman to say <grease>"Of course we are listening Mr, Paxman, take for example our new Child Chimneysweep policy, which is a direct suggestion from Edward Bagum, of Romford..."</grease> neglecting to mention that the thread that contained the suggestion was mostly comprised of people calling Eddie an idiot.

    The problem isn't that they are listening, the problem is that people keep talking

  23. Arnie
    Paris Hilton

    @Anonymous Coward

    "Anyone still suggesting it isn't harmful? ;)"

    whats harmful about growing a bit weed in the privacy of your own home? no victim, no crime!

  24. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    "entering the next stage"

    Pick out the one comment on the whole site that was written by some bitter old crone to read:

    "I think you should ban Cannabis... I did Cannabis once in the 1820s and I did not like it at all. Actually it may have been brambles that I was eating but NONETHELESS I think Cannabrix is an evil plant. The shape of the leaves does not please me at all. Send them all back I say. Anyway, what was i talking about, yes Cannabits, all these devil worshipers running arond making Cannabins out of paint stripper and such. Paint stripper does not please me at all and I think you should ban Cannabis"

    And use that as an excuse not to decriminalize.

  25. Master Baker
    Unhappy

    can't think of one

    I used to have a friend who lost their job and is now on the dole (has been for about 4 years). It's quite bad to see how he's gone. He doesn't bother looking for work and gets out of bed after lunch each day. Every 2 weeks he gets dole money (jobseekers?) that he spends immediately on drugs and then spends the time until his next freebie pay day moaning that he has no money.

    We're not friends anymore since he turned-over just about all of our mutual friends (lent money, doesn't pay back etc).

    He doesn't even wash or bathe (or buy under-arm spray). And I'll bet he wipes his shit with his hand because when I used to go to his flat he never had any bog roll.

    And another person I know hasn't worked her entire life. She's now 55 and chose to be a baby factory with a number of different hubbies. She constantly moans that she doesn't 'get paid' enough. She fails to realise that the government isn't giving her a salary; it's a freebie. Infact it's a freebie sucked out of my taxes. She moans about money even though she had enough to send to a Nigerian chap when she got caught up in a dating scam. And she constantly moans at blokes like a wrongun - even though she plays 2-3 blokes at a single time.

    Maybe these two are the exception. It seems to me that living on benefits for any amount of time can create laziness and a dependancy on the State. I think this government should do everything it can to minimise scrounger benefits. Perhaps if I was a scrounger myself, or had been made redundant in the bad times created (at least helped-along) by Gordon Browns de-regulation of the banks, then I'd be typing the opposite.

    People who have nothing wrong with them should not be given things for free. My ex is looking for a new place to live and she is 'entitled' to rent council properties (3-4 bed room places - even though she has 1 child - yep that I do pay CS for) for less than £150 a week. I have to pay near £800 a month for a shitty two bed flat. She goes abroad twice a year on holiday. I can't afford to, even though I'm in a reasonable full-time job. She also receives a load of benefits, including her current rent paid for. I receive no benefits.

    When people who do nothing for a living get entitlements above and beyond those folks that work their bollocks (or lady bits) off just to pay bills, then there is something fundamentally wrong.

    Scroungers, single letching mums, dole scum, wasters, visa marriages, sham college visas, economic migrants, runaway fathers, Tony Blair, Gordon Brown. Fuck you all.

    1. Mad Dave

      Dude,

      You sound sorta stressed out there.

      Maybe you should use some of your baking skills and heed the advice of http://forums.theregister.co.uk/post/861612 ?

  26. Matthew Malthouse
    Headmaster

    refinemnets for Floyd's Law

    1.) Appropriate use of capitalisation.

    2.) More than one successive exclamation points.

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