back to article Apple iPhone exec falls on sword

The Apple hardware exec reportedly responsible for the iPhone 4's much-maligned and equally much-defended antenna design has left One Infinite Loop. Don't, however, jump to the conclusion that Mark Papermaster is a victim of the iPhone 4 "antennagate" debacle. Remember, in his press conference of July 16 — an event from which …

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  1. Mike Echo

    Who?

    "Mr. Papermaster, who was listed as an executive on Apple's Web site earlier Saturday, had vanished from the site later in the day."

    Did he really exist at all?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Of course he didn't...

      Mr "PaperMaster" is a joke name, like Dickus Maximus (cue "The Life of Brian")

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        I have a Woman Fweind Yoh knhow...

        http://www.theregister.co.uk/Design/graphics/icons/comment/joke_32.png

        It's Biggus Dickus and Gluteus Maximus. He has a wife, you know. Her name is Incontinentia.... Incontinentia Buttocks.

    2. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
      Jobs Horns

      As Max Zorin said...

      "So, anyone else want to drop out?"

      1. A handle is required
        Coat

        Re: As Max Zorin said...

        Other than the iPhone's signal?

    3. Nigel 11

      X X X X X X X X X

      Am I the only person who is thinking "resigned", and many other things from "The Prisoner"?

      Should I worry that with the benefit of hindsight, "Rover" looked remarkably like an Apple product (clean uncluttered white design, etc.)

      If I next read about Apple moving into the defense sector, I'll start having nightmares.

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Stop

    -gate

    I wish people would stop using X-gate in journalism.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Why?

      What's wrong with making words by putting "X-" in front of them?

      1. Peter2 Silver badge

        Re : Why

        Because it's bloody annoying?

    2. Annihilator
      Unhappy

      Watergate

      At some point in the future when we've been saturated by X-gate scandals, our children's children will believe that Watergate was a scandal about water..

      @Iron Oxide - for that reason, I completely agree with you.

      1. jnewco81
        Grenade

        Agreed

        It is annoying. I also would like to repeatedly headbutt the media-type who came up with shortening celebrity / couple names - SuBo, KFed, JEdward, BrAngelina...Grrrrr

      2. Nick G

        Watergate

        Actually, as Mitchell & Webb pointed out, it should now be referred to as Watergategate...

  3. Disco-Legend-Zeke

    Get With The...

    ...pogrom.

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Black Helicopters

    Re: Apple hardware exec falls on sword

    He's lucky he didn't fall 'off a roof'.

    1. Fred Flintstone Gold badge

      Not worth..

      .. the Health & Safety inspection hassle. This is better, because you get to pester him for years to come.

      1. The Indomitable Gall

        Re: Not worth..

        You may have missed the reference there....

        http://www.theregister.co.uk/2010/05/26/foxconn_defacement_suicide_protest/

  5. Alan Denman

    non disclosure for 30 years?

    Roll on 2040 not.

  6. Bear Features
    Jobs Horns

    but why?

    Well, Jobs said that there was no issue, said that it was all media created and when you're successful people just try and make an issue out of nothing....

    Shirley he wasn't trying a cover up? *gasp* I mean, before his press conference it was a software issue...

    *giggles*

  7. Arctic fox

    Ah, you mean the way that......

    ....Leon Trotsky dissapeared from so many photographs when Stalin took over? Was Mr Papermaster told by the company's senior management *before* he noticed via the web that he had become a nonperson? Must be really weird to vanish like that.

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Unhappy

    that's right leave your iphone 4 prototype at the gate as you leave

    ET phone home ! with a finger pointing at the sky

  9. Jemma Silver badge
    FAIL

    ...reminds me of that scene in Serenity... but shouldnt it have been Jobs?

    Where that guy gets a samurai sword through the important bits...

    But if I remember isnt the 'buck stops here' guy the CEO?

    Apple: overpriced crap for underbrained idiots...

    Or the famous....

    Think... How?

  10. Simpson

    Are we talking airplanes

    or origami?

    Maybe the Reg should contact him about running the paper spaceplane project.

  11. JaitcH
    Unhappy

    The corporate disappearing act

    A large reservation travel company, once owned by an airline in the U.S., runs a program that removes permissions for a terminated employee that is triggered the minute the employee is notified.

    All computer access, web and e-mail references are removed with e-mail forwarding implemented, telephone systems reprogrammed, credit cards cancelled along with all employee privileges such as airline discounts.

    The employees access card is, of course nuked, and they have to be escorted out of the premises! By the next business day all traces of employment, such as parking spots, office names, etc have vanished done by gremlins who work overnight.

    Only HR retains contact to finalise all the paperwork, etc.

    Pretty amazing to watch, as long as you are not the reason!

  12. Rainer
    Jobs Halo

    Alarming

    As funny as it is watching this ballade - the question looming behind the horizon is: can Apple execs under Steve Jobs - and let's be honest: there's nobody next to him - can they actually be successful?

    It must be incredibly difficult to be a successful executive at Apple - and it must be equally difficult to find people who want to take such a job and actually get accepted by Apple.

    Apple has a leadership-problem. It's not at the top, but just below.

    It may also be that the hardware is just not ready for the software.

    A little bit like in the NeXT days.

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Joke

    On the plus side...

    Apple appear to have successfully implemented the Papermaster-less office.

  14. Tom Kelsall

    It's very sad, but...

    Mister Papermaster was today found to be suffering from a nine millimeter brain hemorrhage (sp?) in a back alley somewhere in Cupertino, central Russia.

  15. Tigra 07 Silver badge
    Jobs Horns

    He didn't jump...

    "That news organ reached Papermaster by mobile phone, but he "declined to comment" as to whether he jumped or was pushed."

    Maybe he couldn't comment because his antenna couldn't hold the call long enough?

  16. Lottie
    Joke

    But

    This isn't a problem. He didn't leave and although he did, other companies have the same issue with staff migration. Just wait till we show you the videos of HTC and Motorolla losing staff members.

    See, there is no antennagateexeleaving-gate.

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    @-gate

    > I wish people would stop using X-gate in journalism.

    Clearly there's some form of conspiracy going on to perpetuate this usage ... I expect in the future will get an expose that provides the full details on gate-gate.

    1. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

      Re: @-gate

      Why do you lot get so exercised about this perfectly acceptable shorthand? I've said it before, but you try writing headlines for a week and then you'll realise the value of these conventions.

      1. Witty username
        Coat

        must be part of the reggate scandal

        *leaves*

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        The death of a scandal.

        Because its is like txt spk for the word scandal. there are no cases where scandal does not work and -gate is needed, just like txtspk, its not required.

        but the media likes it, and its thier medium. so hey ho. what can we do...

      3. D@v3
        Thumb Down

        watergate

        had nothing to do with Water, or Gates.

        That is the problem that I have.

        I'm a little young to remember it first hand, but wasn't Wtergate referred to as The Watergate Scandal? Can't these things be referred to as, The Antenna Scandal? (or what ever is appropriate for the scandal of the moment)

        1. Roger Varley

          The title is required, and must contain letters and/or digits.

          Yes, it was "The Watergate Scandal". It was, if I recall, named after the building in which the break in took place. I

      4. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Sorry, Double-post-gate!

        This has entered our language: we are stuck with it for ever now, even when nobody has a clue what Watergate was.

        1. Rosco

          Watergategate

          There's a Mitchell and Webb sketch about this:

          MItchell: I was just going to say that my eye was caught by this whole scandal in America.

          Webb: Oh, the scandal in America. Yeah, that is interesting. That must be the biggest scandal since Watergategate.

          Mitchell: Watergategate? Isn't it just Watergate?

          Webb: No. That would mean it was just about water. No, it was a scandal or gate, add the suffix gate, that's what you do with a scandal, involving the Watergate Hotel. So it was called the Watergate scandal, or Watergategate.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Will they be able to report..

      The scandels at Col or Cowen without trademark infringement?

      1. Loyal Commenter Silver badge
        Coat

        Personally

        I tihnk there are far too many 'scandals' in the news, that have been blown out of all proportion by sufficing them with -gate. I think this should be known as scandalgate.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Will they be able to report

        or mention on-set shenanigans at Star, Star Atlantis etc without involving the RIAA

  18. NogginTheNog
    Coat

    Oh go on, let me jump on...

    But wasn't there a scandal involving that guy from the Goodies, the one who was a doctor...?

    1. Roger Varley

      Oh go on, let me jump on....

      As a pointer to how silly this can get, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_scandals_with_%22-gate%22_suffix contains a depressingly long list of *gate scandals.

      Most of which I've never heard of.

  19. Geoff Campbell
    Happy

    Ohhhhh, now this could get interesting.

    I'm sure he has a contractual clause forbidding him to talk about Apple business for a while, but that's unlikely to be more than 6 or 12 months. So we might get some very interesting gossip from him when that expires :-)

    GJC

    1. Rainer

      only...

      ...if he doesn't want a job anymore in this life.

  20. JDX Gold badge
    Megaphone

    Just wait...

    ...until we can find out if he still uses an iPhone after leaving Apple.

  21. Doug Glass
    Go

    And he will be replaced by ...

    Jonathan Wordsmith.

    What a bunch of little boys hiding behind their mamma and blaming their imaginary friend for the spilled milk.

    As Homer Simpson says, "Weaseling out of things is what separates us from the animals. Except the Weasel."

  22. url
    Coat

    (untitled)

    Former Microsoft CEO in legal boundary and trespass dispute.

    Bill Gate's Gate-Gate?

    Yeah, I know, mine has the wonky latch in the pocket.

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