back to article Spoof beer ad mocks England footie flops

It's good to see that following yesterday's football debacle, disappointed fans have responded as is the local custom, with a resigned shrug and a few pops at the expense of the lamentable England football team. Here's our fave, which just slipped into the Bootnotes inbox: Spoof of Shepherd Neame Spitfire poster: 4-1 Britain …


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  1. The Indomitable Gall

    England != Britain

    That is all.

    1. Tom 35 Silver badge

      True but it has no effect on the fact

      That they can't even beat the US. I expect Ghana could have beat them just like they did the US.

    2. This post has been deleted by its author

  2. Anonymous Coward

    England have a new coach

    It picked them up Monday morning.

    Rooney has beaten David Blaine’s record for doing nothing in a box.

    Thank you and good night.

    1. Professor Tinklepants

      I was asked...

      ....if I had any good vuvuzela jokes., sorry.

      Hmm....not sure if that works in print, might have to be said out loud!

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    LA Times = correct

    Totally agree with LA Times analysis, they've hit one into the back of the net ... unlike England.

  4. Paul Dx

    England are flying back into Glasgow

    ... that way they're assured of a hero's welcome

  5. Justabloke 1

    I reckon...

    ...the LA Times is spot on.

    1. Gordon is not a Moron

      Is there any chance

      that the collective commentard community can engineer the up/down votes on the above post to be 4 - 1 ?

      1. Bryce 2


        Just for you.

  6. Will Godfrey Silver badge

    Just as a matter of interest...

    How many of the 'England' players are actually English, and permanently resident in this country?

    1. Evil Graham

      Unfortunately ...

      The answer to both questions is "all of them"

    2. thesykes

      re: Just as a matter of interest

      Quick look at a very useful football stats website shows that every one of the England squad was born in England. As for permanent resident, they all play for English clubs, so, doubtful they live abroad on a permanent resident.

      The real problem is how many of the players in the English Premier League are English? Foreign owners hire foreign managers who sign foreign players. Plastic fans don't care as long as their team (who they've supported since they became owned by said foreign owners and started to win things) and only worry about English players once every four years.

      At the end of the day, the LA Times got it spot on, though.

  7. Anonymous Coward

    Me thinks

    the LA times couldnt have put it any better, the whole lot of them are overpaid pansies

  8. Beau

    Thanks a lot!!

    Thanks a lot you shit team, I have just had a hell of a day thanks to your load of rubbish yesterday.

    I'm living in Belgium and working with Germans!!!

    1. JohnG Silver badge

      Worse for me

      I live in Germany and spent the day at some outdoor event surrounded by Germans with a live radio commentary playing in the background.

      At least Hamilton and Button are still ahead of the rest in F1.

  9. karl 15


    England are shit at football, i don't know why the fans bother supporting them, or that they are surprised when they are kicked out at the start lol.

    I'm English, so i can say English football is SHIT!

    Stick to what we are good at, err....

    1. Paul 4


      Were very good at that. And were not bad at allot of other sports either.

    2. Thomas 4

      There is something England excels at

      When it comes sarcastic and caustic internet quips about the performance of our national teams, no-one does it better than England. It's just as well there isn't some sort of competition for it - if there was and England inevitably lost, I think the world would implode from some sort of sarcasm black hole.

      1. HFoster

        Sarcasm black hole

        Or, indeed, a sar-chasm.

  10. Anonymous Coward

    Weather forecast

    Wet weather expected in the UK while the non english nations are pissing themselves laughing

  11. Whitter
    Thumb Down

    As usual...

    Britain = England.


    1. Anonymous Coward
      Thumb Down

      The sooner it does...

      ... the happier I'd be. I wish the jocks would up sticks and piss off back to the north. You ran us for years under labour anyway.

  12. Anonymous John

    The England team visited an orphanage in Cape Town today

    “It’s heartbreaking to see their sad little faces with no hope,” said Jamal, aged six.

  13. Anonymous Coward

    Future England games will be on Sky adult channels

    ..because the sight of 11 as*holes getting a hammering is probably best kept away from our youth

  14. Anonymous Coward


    That is all.

  15. Graham Bartlett

    Too right

    A quick Google suggests that at least £60m of taxpayers' money is going into the FA per year (figures as of Sep 2009). If we're looking for somewhere to trim UK budgets, I'm damn sure I know where I'd start, and it's not with schools and hospitals.

  16. Anonymous Coward


    One of the all-time top trolls of all time, mate. Let's rock!

  17. Andrew Taylor 1

    England have just turned down

    a £70 million sponsorship deal, even the current team couldn't run about with "Winalot" on their shirts

    1. A J Stiles

      Not quite

      FA bosses HAVE been in talks with the CEO of a pet food company, but it WASN'T about sponsorship.

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    LA Times

    One thing that's definitely true of the England team is that they lack motivation. And who exactly is the England team "motivational guru"? A man who just happens to be employed by a team in what city exactly?

    Ho hum.

  19. I. Aproveofitspendingonspecificprojects 1

    @Evil Graham

    The answer to both questions is "all of them"

    Even when they are in South Africa?

  20. Peter Hood


    Overpaid 'professionals' living in luxury have no fighting urge. Time to start again, sack the team, keep the manager.

  21. LuMan

    Maybe it's because I'm a patriot....

    So, the LA Times says, "They are paid far too much by their Premier League clubs"

    This will be from the home of LA Galaxy who paid a certain English (not British) footballer $250m.

    Who says the Yanks can't do irony.

  22. Bleepme
    Paris Hilton


    ... that America, the home of the overpaid sports person, criticises English footballers for that very sin. Not that I disagree AT ALL, it's just funny.

    If people want to follow sports we can win at, can have world champions (or medallists) at can I suggest:

    Cricket, Rugby, Cycling, Swimming, Any motorsport, 2 or 4 wheels (dunno about trucks), shooting, curling, that sledgy thing at the winter olympics, athletics, etc.

    I suggest we lower the national debt with a footballer tax. They put in 5% effort, we tax them 95%.

    --Paris, cos I work there.

  23. Is it me?

    Perhaps the answer is,,,

    To ignore premiership footballers all together and pick the team from the lower divisions where young upcoming players at least have some incentive to play football. I've seen better games of Football in the Isthmian League than the Premiership and National side usually turn out. (Yes it was that long ago).

    Just what kind of incentive is "Wow another million, now shall I make my 5th Ferrari Red or Yellow", better build that extra garage as well.

    Or perhaps the FA should just pay expenses, like flight and Hotel bills, and see how many of our over paid footballers want to play for England.

  24. Anonymous Coward


    Osama bin Laden has just released a new TV message to prove he is still alive. He said that the England Team performance on Friday was completely shit. British intelligence have dismissed the claim, stating that the message could have been recorded anytime in the last 44 years.

    1. HFoster
      Thumb Up

      I LOL'd

      Fucking GOLD, mate!

    2. Mike Smith
      Thumb Up

      Downvoted ya

      ... to make the scores right.

      Loved it :-)

      (and before the England != Britain lot start on me, yes, I do know the difference - but the deliberate mistake made a better play on words)

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