back to article England versus Germany: Quaff real ale

The Royal Society of Chemistry is advising England fans to avoid overanxiety on Sunday, as their team goes out on penalties to slaughter ze Germans, by drinking real ale. Biochemist Dr Ian Hornsey explained: “English supporters should be able to withstand the pressures associated with the big match on Sunday better than our …


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  1. Code Monkey


    Not just for the hops, not just for the Germany game - lager is pish anyway.

    Mine's the one with the bottle of Holdens Golden Glow in the pocket

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    “English supporters should be able to withstand the pressures associated with the big match "

    since when is sitting on your ass watching other people play a game considered pressure.

    come on people.

  3. James Le Cuirot
    Thumb Up

    Hail the ale!

    They should be drinking ale in the first place, not that bloody fizzy piss!

    1. Sebastian Brosig

      Ein Pils bitte

      "lager" is frothy piss.

      But us Germans from north of Frankfurt (i.e in the British zone of old, so maybe familiar to some of you old fart Brits) drink Pilsner, which is quite strong in the nops department.

      And perfectly capable to remedy any match-induced stress for us krauts.

      It does have a certain gassiness but when pourd/drawn properly (takes 7 minutes) it's not so bad because the gas is used up to form the beautiful head.

      Bavarian Bier is a bit like Fosters & ct/


      1. Brian Morrison

        A head?

        Right then, you clearly *are* from oop north!

    2. Annihilator


      Try being in a pub. 3 pints in, 10 minutes from half-time and the pressure of a full bladder. Giving in and going to the slashers will guarantee you not being able to get the spot you have in front of the TV back.

      Pressure comes in many different forms you know...

  4. thesykes

    Or, alternatively....

    ...try a method I found very useful for the England v Argentina match in 1998... drink so much lager that you are totaly incapable of recognising the fact the match is over, it's a draw, down to penalties, we're out... totally bypassing the depair, anguish and disappointment.

    Of course, finding out afterwards (somehow I recovered enough to make it to the pub!) wasn't the most pleasuarble experience, but was cushioned by the tentative grip on reality.

    1. Code Monkey


      My colleague tried that on Wednesday. He was still working out which permutations meant we avoided Germany when I told him they'd played on Wednesday night and won the group.

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Too right!!

    plus it means no Tennents flu on monday morning. :p

  6. frank ly Silver badge
    Thumb Up

    Alcohol free contentment?

    "... the sedative effects of hops is reckoned to be down to a chemical called dimethylvinyl carbinol..."

    Can I get this in tablet form?

  7. fishman

    Flushed away

    When England plays I always think about the movie "Flushed Away".

  8. Anonymous Coward


    Even better to quaff it with like-minded fans at a CAMRA Real Ale Festival :)

    In Edinburgh :)

    Lederhosen or Kilt mandatory

  9. Dave Bell

    Another recommendation...

    Alternate between the British beers "Lancaster Bomber" and "Spitfire"

    (German fans seem more concerned about their rivalry with the Dutch, which is odd, but I do have an orange shirt.)

  10. mwk

    The weather should be nice

    so everyone should be relaxing in their summer suits with a nice G&T or a glass of Pimms.

  11. Z 1

    Ale - make my a pint

    I'll drink to that! Up Ale, down the Chav brews of Carlin', Stella and Carlsberg innit!

  12. jake Silver badge


    Hops aren't a sedative ... That's an urban myth.

    Yes, hops are related to cannabis. Yes, hops are added to beer as a preservative. But no, I'm sorry, hops don't get you wasted. If they did, a modern craft/micro-brewed IPA would be the choice of lager-louts the world over ... but it would seem they prefer that fizzy yellow shit.

    It's the alcohol content, people ... not the flavo(u)ring agents.

    1. Dave Cradle

      maybe it's time you went to the pub... anyone who can miss the point by so wide a margin probably needs a drink.

      While you're there, why not talk in a loud voice about how clever you are.

      Have a good weekend.

      1. Richard IV


        Anyone who can miss the point by so wide a margin is probably in the England penalty taking picks ;)

    2. Graham Marsden

      Whilst most people are watching...

      ... a bunch of over-paid prima donnas getting kicked out of the World Cup...

      ... the roads should be nice and clear, so I'll be having an enjoyable bimble along the twisty bits :-)

      Mine's the bike jacket...

    3. Old Tom

      Re: Eh?

      "Hops aren't a sedative ... That's an urban myth."

      The Interweb says that hops contain 2-methyl-3-buten-2-ol which has sedative effects. So although you're right that they're added to beer as a preservative, you're wrong about that. They're also, of course, added to ales for their flavour, bitterness and aroma.

      1. jake Silver badge

        @Old Tom

        "The Interweb says that hops contain 2-methyl-3-buten-2-ol which has sedative effects."

        It's not a sedative in the concentration present in Hops when diluted in beer. Trust me ... If I drink a pint of Arrogant Bastard Ale, or two and a half pints of Bud Light on a warm summer afternoon, they have roughly the same soporific effect. That is equal amounts of alcohol, but Arrogant Bastard has roughly 8 times the hops content. Other than flavo(u)r, the only real difference is that Bud Light makes me pee more, for obvious reasons.

        Side note: I actually grow three kinds of hops for my own homebrew.

      2. Chemist

        Re :

        2-methyl-3-buten-2-ol is apparently a sedative but the dose required is supposedly 2-5 grams. I think the amount of beer required to get that amount of 2-methyl-3-buten-2-ol might contribute to DEATH let alone sedation

    4. Sorry that handle is already taken. Silver badge

      "Hops aren't a sedative ... That's an urban myth."

      I guess the Biochemist with a PhD is wrong then. Good thing you sorted all the confusion out.

  13. Peter Fox

    Ian Hornsey's book BREWING is a good read.

    Plenty of geekiness in the microbiology and chemistry departments. Really useful for home brewers wanting to raise their game.

  14. Trevor 3
    Thumb Up

    I'm pleased that the...

    ...urban yoof like that sparkling yellow gnats piss, as it leaves the Ale to the rest of us.

    Mine's a pint of Swift One while you're there...

    1. Robert E A Harvey

      cider inside

      Ale is good, dry cider better, scrumpy best.

      No frothy head on cider!

  15. Anonymous John


    Shouldn't the article end with a Boozenote?

  16. Tom 7 Silver badge

    Bottom fermented lager or top fermented beer.

    nothing to do with the hops - its the yeast - though fuggles and goldings helped.

    Lager drinkers:

    Germans - started 2 world wars

    Americans - trying to do the same.

    England - been drinking lager since ...1966 Coincidence?

    Bottom fermenting yeast poisons you - simple as that.

  17. Muscleguy Silver badge

    It's traditional

    to help you get to sleep by using a hop pillow, but in our new age pill preparation world this idea has not been kept up. BTW lettuce has soporiphic qualities as well, so include a nice healthy green salad with your pint.

    I will also agree with Sebastian Brosig, Pilsner (the genuine article anyway) is nicely hopped. Did a tour of the Pilsner Urquell Brewery in, wait for it: Plzen in the Czech Republic (they invented the stuff after all). If you do a tour they take you down into the chalk tunnels where they used to laager the beer at a constant 7C and there is a Large barrel on its side with a wooden tap in it brewed the old fashioned way and frothy from the yeast. You are encouraged to partake as much as you wish (I was driving dammit). It is the very nectar.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      What temp?

      "...the beer at a constant 7C and..."


      1. Muscleguy Silver badge

        This one


    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      natural remedies

      "BTW lettuce has soporiphic qualities as well,"

      Too right, look what it does to tortoises.

      Back home in the Med - swift armoured reptiles. In an UK garden stuffed full of lettuce - novelty door stop.

  18. TheTallGuy

    Shock, not really

    Pubs with predominately real ale drinkers rarely if ever have trouble, the only time I've seen it at my local was when a large stag party invaded, all drinking lager and of course it all kicked off between them.

    Perhaps it's not so much what's in real ales as to the chemicals they put in the fizzy yellow stuff. Seen a similar thing with darts against pool players, but it's probably just a yoof thing.

    Beer Icon for a reason my alcohol raddled brain can't remember.

  19. Mike Banahan

    There's lager then there's the piss they sell in England

    After living for a year in Munich and spending most of it in beergardens and similar establishments I find a bit of contrition is necessary. A firm believer in 'the British make the best beer in the world' (actually they do, Taylor's Landlord) I learned that whilst maybe the pinnacle belongs to Blighty, the quality is found in Bavaria - I can't speak for the rest of Germany as I didn't explore further.

    It's remarkably hard to find a bad beer there and the consistency and quality, not to mention the welcome, is excellent.

    And anywhere else when they sensed a bunch of beer-swilling chavs descending from all parts of the world they would rub their hands, see the till signs go up, and serve the worst they had to the undiscerning louts of the globe. Not at the Oktoberfest though - instead of selling the weakest piss available, the Oktoberfest special beers are not only excellent, they are extra strong at typically 6%.

    A well-made litre of Helles (lager) is so far from what you can get in the majority of pubs in the UK there's not much comparison. Though I still prefer dark beers, even I, with my chauvinist hat on, have to concede that it's a beer-drinker's paradise over there.

    Sorry and all that but sometimes a bit of reality is called for.

    I went back a week ago to check. Nothing has changed. Top food too.

    1. TeeCee Gold badge

      Re: the piss they sell in England

      You've not been to France then? Some of things sold as lager over there (and even purporting to be known brands) are just unbelievably awful.

      I have a mate whose mother's side of the family are an old Bavarian brewing concern. He says that quality control there goes like this:

      <TASTE>: "Mmm, lovely. Get that out to the bars."

      <TASTE>: "Mm. Ok, but lacking that special something. Export it to England."

      <TASTE>...<SPIT>....<RETCH>: "Holy shit, what the hell went wrong there? We can't even pour that down the drain, it would contaminate the sewage. Send it to France."

  20. ElReg!comments!Pierre Silver badge


    I think you'll find that Greasy McButterhands will stand mightily between the poles, should the need arise.

    OK, the need better not arise!

  21. tony trolle

    Just count yourselfs lucky

    I am English living in USA. <canoe joke>

    Drinkable larger (America beer) is hard to find; got cans down to

    Taurino from "Fresh and Easy" (Owned by Tesco) and Natural Ice @ 5.9%

    I really miss real British and Bavaria beer/ale

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