back to article Avro Vulcan - The Owners' Workshop Manual

DIY vehicle fixers' favourite Haynes has added a new title to its roster of vintage aircraft guides: the Avro Vulcan Owners' Workshop Manual. The cover of the Haynes Avro Vulcan manual The blurb explains: "The awesome Avro Vulcan is an enduring image of the Cold War era when the world stood on the brink of nuclear …

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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Nice

    Though I suspect the content is far removed from a real workshop manual for an aircraft.

    Once looked over part of the maintenance manual for a de Havilland Sea Vixen. Two thick A4 ring binders of pages.

    1. Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
      Headmaster

      Yes..

      The maintenance manuals for a B737 are about 6.5317 Linguine of A4 pages; the overhaul manuals are even bigger. On top of that there are also the structural repair manuals and a set of parts manuals to cover all versions, in total, about 0.2976 of a Double-decker bus thick.

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I know this is well off topic...

    but it's been awfully quiet the last hour or so. Its as if there was some kind of distraction.

    1. Rob

      Shame...

      ... it can't always be like that :(

  3. Greem
    Thumb Up

    Profits, profits...

    ...let's hope the publishers pass some of the profits over to XH558's owners, or the book is all we'll have. If anyone reading this article thinks they'd like to support the VTTS Trust, go here:

    http://www.vulcantothesky.org/donate

    and give them lots of lovely money to keep 558 flying!

    1. Daniel 1

      Welll....

      If XH558 stays on the ground, there's a substantially improved chance we'll still have XH558 to look at. It was only by flying these things, that you imperil them and all aboard them. They weren't supposed to fly at altitudes where people on the ground could see them, and that was why so many of them crashed. This is a plane whose rudder couldn't stop it from spinning like a dish, if you powered up one bank of engines faster than the other. Entire aircrews of good men have been killed by these bitches - and there's a reason why the only planes that look like this, these days, need computers to keep them in the air.

      "Discover what it was like to fly the mighty V- bomber during the Cold War"

      According to my dad, it was like driving a very cold, damp bus, that you couldn't see out of, while wearing an Irvin jacket that you'd have though was made of concrete, if it didn't smell so strongly of dead sheep.

      Just because you can fly them doesn't mean you should. Where's the collection box to keep the Last Working Starfighter in the air?

      1. Brian Morrison
        Thumb Up

        You clearly are not aware....

        ....that an aircraft on the ground in a museum is not an "aircraft" at all.

        Put 'em in the air, and if they crash then accept that it was the price that had to be paid.

        1. Daniel 1

          Yes, right...

          I'm perfectly aware of it.

          I'm also perfectly aware of the fact that a 'hero' is some sort of a weird sandwich, and so I can only assume - from your heroic attitude to flying a plane which tends to crash in ways which make successful ejection practically impossible - that you either intend to fly the thing, yourself, or you're some sort of a weird sandwich.

          If the crew of X390, at Glenview, had had 40,000 feet, instead of just 400ft, to recover, they might have been at least able to get out of the thing before it hit the ground. I can think of few aircraft types less suited to air displays than V Bombers.

          However, I suppose if deliberately flying a high altitude bomber at low altitudes, until the airframe completely gives, out was good enough for the RAF, then if must be good enough for you. Forgive me if I pass on the opportunity to fund this exercise, however, since I didn't think it was a good way of spending my money, while the RAF were doing it.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Coat

        Re: "Where's the collection box to keep the Last Working Starfighter in the air?"

        Don't be silly, it's impossible to keep Lockheed Starfighters in the air!

      3. not.known@this.address Bronze badge
        Boffin

        @Daniel1 -What are you on?

        How many crews, exactly, were lost due to a problem with the rudder? Try and see what happens when you open one side up but not the other in ANY airplane, from something the size of a B52 down to your average Cessena or Beech light twin.

        How many crashed simply because they flew at altitudes "where people could see them" and not because the pilot forgot there was a large chunk of steel between him and the ground below? (setting aside the question of how they could ever take off or land if they weren't able to fly safely within eyesight range? And how high would they need to fly for someone with average eyesight to not be able to see them?).

        And where the hell did you get the idea a modern delta will only fly if a computer helps out? Do you know anything about aeronautical science, or are you just basing your "facts" on the fact your old man didn't like flying in them?

        Things like the Eurofighter Typhoon or the B2 only need computer "assistance" because they are deliberatley designed to be UNstable - the biggest problem with landing the Vulcan was the lovely big cushion of air that got trapped beneath all that wing - but even that wasn't dangerous per se, just a minor annoyance.

        Comparing the Vulcan to a Starfighter is like comparing a Mini Metro to a drag-racing bike - one is designed to get you there and back, with an almost useful load, while the other is intended to get you to your destination as fast as possible...

        Let me guess, you've never flown a real aeroplane but you're a fantastic pilot in Microsoft's Flight Simulator, or Tom Clancy's HAWX on X-Box. Way to go, champ.

        1. Daniel 1

          Well, since you ask

          Well, these "Tom Clancy's HAWX" and whatever it is you're on about - I assume these are computer games. The tone of your reply pretty much characterises the sneering attitude which has become the default communication protocol of the Internet.

          Lack of rudder authority was the main reason aircrews disliked the Vulcan. All of the control surfaces had trouble overcoming the ship['s vast wingspan, but the tail fin was the glaring feature of the lot.

          The problem was brought to the attention of the top brass after the loss of XM601, in 1964, where loss of rudder authority (following an approach on asymetric power) was directly attributed as the cause of the crash. However, lack of authority from control surfaces was a well-established problem amongst those who had been lucky enough to recover from it in a Vulcan, long before this crash. Indeed many of those individuals were among those whose testimony came to acknowledge the problem, following the XM601 inquest.

          And yes, many Vulcans did crash simply because they flew at altitudes "where people could see them". My father's squadron was 44, Rhodesia - the first to convert to low level flying - and the Vulcan was an utterly diasterous low level airplane (worse, even, than the Canberas he went on to, in fact). Six of my father's friends were killed in an accident that was put down to pilot error, but which many in the squadron believed to be the result of catastrophic airframe failure brought on by low level flying.

          Now, Vulcan is a lovely looking thing (just as the new Typhoon is, in fact), but it was bought for a type of war that was never actually fought, and then forced into a type of war it wasn't any good at. Somehow we revile our bad military procurement purchases when we're still paying for them, but enshrine them in myth, once a covering of sepia and patina has developed on them.

          We should get XH558 flying, to immortalise what, exactly? And at airshows?

          XL390 (the last full-aircrew loss in a Vulcan) crashed at an air display in Illinois, in the early 70s and the likelihood there, is that - had they been flying at 40,000ft, as the ship was designed to do, rather than the 400ft dictated by air shows, the crew might at least have had time to get out of the thing before it hit the deck.

          Vulcans had a way of going out of control which made them especially difficult to escape from. Aircrews disliked that, naturally. It seems the reality of the situation is being painted out of the history by people who want to get this thing flying because of some truth that was never real.

          So, yes, by all means fly a high altitude bomber at low altitudes until it's airframe collapses, but forgive me for not donating money to help you do this. I did not regard this as a good use of my money, when the RAF was doing, it using the public funds. I'll be damned if I'll volunteer to do it.

      4. lawman

        Yeh but no but

        I recall sitting on top of a mountain above Maesteg in South Wales back in the 70s and looking down on a Vulcan as it weaved its way down the valley. It must have been flying at under 1000 feet.

  4. Matt 21

    Hanynes

    Read the book, take off OK, coming into land you suddenly realise there's a step missing and you need a part no-one sells for less than ten grand :-)

    1. Rick Berry

      It's an assembly, not a part...

      Actually, the part you would need would only cost a couple of quid. The problem would be that the only way to get it would be to buy it as an "assembly" for ten grand...

      1. Intractable Potsherd Silver badge
        Thumb Up

        And...

        ... you'd need manufacturers special tool no: xxxxxxxxx to fit it, which costs a couple of hundred quid (or can be made out of two pop can ring-pulls and some sticky-tape)!

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Saw one of these swoop low over Greenhead bank on the way to Scotland.

    It just came out of nowhere, and was absolutely silent.

    I found this quite strange, because these full passtrhrough things make a whopping noise. The same basic engine powering Concorde went over my head 15 years later, and I thought we were having an earthquake.

    1. 0laf Silver badge
      Thumb Up

      Silent?

      Was under one doing a low flypast at an air show, about 17 years ago. Fook me it was loud, it did make the ground shake.

      1. Kevin Johnston

        Flypast...

        Legend has it that it stopped going to the Bembridge Airshow after a stunning 'low, slow and dirty' pass with full chat caused so much sound shock that a large number of windows were shattered in a nearby town.

        May be all lies but you really want to believe it even though I haven't seen one in the air since

    2. Mike Flugennock

      Concorde engine...?

      Throughout most of my adolescence, I lived in a neighborhood under the approach/takeoff flight paths of Dulles International Airport, and had gotten quite used to the likes of DC9s, 707s and 747s passing "low and slow" over our house. In the mid '70s, I was part of a local campaign to prevent the Concorde from being flown in and out of IAD owing to noise concerns. Once the Concordes started using IAD, though, I was forced to reconsider my position, at least partially; while the Concorde's noise level was about the same as "traditional" jetliners, its frequency range was quite different. While regular jets had most of their roar and rumble in the low end, the Concorde's engine noise was mostly in the midrange, with a sound not unlike someone ripping a sheet of paper -- only louder -- and was a bit more annoying, although not enough to make a huge difference. Also, IAD took measures to mitigate noise issues by routing approach/takeoffs of the Concorde over more lightly-populated areas west of the airport.

      Of course, I don't really know what it was like for neighborhoods near major airports in England and France.

  6. Robert Moore
    Flame

    Avro Arrow

    When will they bring out a manual for my Avro Arrow.

    I am stuck while trying to rebuild the landing gear.

  7. Peter Simpson 1
    Thumb Up

    MG Midget tach chip

    Friend's tach failed. Disassembled it, found a TI numbered chip. As I'm an EE, called my local TI rep and asked for a sample (chip number was one off from a standard TI tach chip). Reply comes back 2 weeks later: "it's a proprietary custom part".

    Cra@p.

    "But I found a couple in the engineer's desk drawer and they're in the mail to you."

    Yesssss!

    Tach repaired, worked fine for many years more. The MG's long gone, but I still remember the generosity of that TI rep.

  8. hugo tyson
    Thumb Up

    Just in time for XH558's 50th Birthday

    Fantastic timing; XH558 was delivered to the RAF on 1st July 1960; she'll be 50 in 8 days from now. Send money now - I do!

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    Haven't used a Haynes manual since I sold my XR3.

    Is the first step in *every* procedure still "Disconnect the battery"?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      So?

      I think you'll find that's the first step in almost every procedure of every workshop manual. Especially the manufacturer's official workshop manuals.

      What it doesn't say is "make sure you've got the radio code to hand" before telling you to disconnect the battery.

  10. Anonymous Coward
    FAIL

    Yawn.

    Getting very bored with Haynes overpriced novelty books. There's even one for Thomas the Tank Engine FFS!

    1. Mike Flugennock

      You think that's something...

      I still have my copy of the Star Fleet Tech Manual, circa 1976, with complete plan and section views of every class of Federation starship, along with cutaways and diagrams of, among other things, various types of tricorders -- showing then-current electronics inside, with the note "Equivalent 20th Century Terran early development shown IAW UFP Prime Directive".

      I'd still love to get my hands on the Chilton's Apollo LM manual.

  11. Fluffykins Silver badge

    Haynes Manuals - Simplified

    Ah: Haynes Workshop manuals. There are many phrases and euphemisms which bear translation into everyday English. Here are just a few that may be in the Vulcan Version

    :

    Haynes: Rotate anticlockwise.

    Translation: Clamp with molegrips then beat repeatedly with hammer anticlockwise.

    Haynes: This is a snug fit.

    Translation: Clamp with molegrips then beat repeatedly with hammer.

    Haynes: This is a tight fit.

    Translation: Clamp with molegrips then beat repeatedly with a hammer.

    Haynes: As described in Chapter 7...

    Translation: That'll teach you not to read right through before you start. Now you are looking at scary photos of the inside of a gearbox.

    Haynes: Prise off...

    Translation: Hammer a screwdriver into...

    Haynes: Undo...

    Translation: Go buy a tin of WD40 (giant economy size).

    Haynes: Retain tiny spring...

    Translation: PINGGGG - "Jesus, where the hell did that go?"

    Haynes: Press and rotate to remove bulb...

    Translation: OK - that's the glass bit off, now fetch some good pliers to dig out the bayonet part (and maybe a plaster or two).

    Haynes: Lightly slacken...

    Translation: Start off lightly and build up till the veins on your forehead are throbbing then clamp with molegrips then beat repeatedly with hammer.

    Haynes: Weekly checks...

    Translation: If it isn't broken don't fix it.

    Haynes: Routine maintenance...

    Translation: If it isn't broken, it's about to be. We warned you!

    Haynes: One spanner rating.

    Translation: An infant could do this... so how did you manage to **** it up?

    Haynes: Two spanner rating.

    Translation: Now you may think that you can do this because two is a low, teensy weensy number... but you also thought the wiring diagram was a map of the Tokyo underground (in fact, that would have been more use to you).

    Haynes: Three spanner rating.

    Translation: Make sure you won't need your car for a couple of days.

    Haynes: Four spanner rating.

    Translation: You're not seriously considering this are you?

    Haynes: Five spanner rating.

    Translation: OK - but don't ever transport your loved ones in it again.

    Haynes: If not, you can fabricate your own special tool like this...

    Translation: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

    Haynes: Compress...

    Translation: Squeeze with all your might, jump up and down on it, throw it at the garage wall, then find some molegrips and a hammer...

    Haynes: Inspect...

    Translation: Squint at really hard and pretend you know what you are looking at, then declare in a loud knowing voice to your wife, "Yep, it's as I thought, it's going to need a new one"

    Haynes: Carefully...

    Translation: You are about to suffer serious abrasions.

    Haynes: Retaining nut...

    Translation: Yes, that's it, that big spherical blob of rust.

    Haynes: Get an assistant...

    Translation: Prepare to humiliate yourself in front of someone you know.

    Haynes: Difficult to reach ...

    Translation: Assembled at the factory and never meant to be touched.

    Haynes: Turning the engine will be easier with the spark plugs removed.

    Translation: However, starting the engine afterwards will be much harder. Once that sinking pit of your stomach feeling has subsided, you can start to feel deeply ashamed as you gingerly refit the spark plugs.

    Haynes: Refitting is the reverse sequence to removal.

    Translation: Yeah, right. But you swear in different places.

    Haynes: Prise away plastic locating pegs...

    Translation: Snap off...

    Haynes: Using a suitable drift...

    Translation: Clamp with molegrips then beat repeatedly with hammer.

    Haynes: Everyday toolkit

    Translation: RAC Card & Mobile Phone (but don't forget your molegrips and hammer!)

    Haynes: Apply moderate heat...

    Translation: Unless you have a blast furnace, don't bother. Alternatively, clamp with molegrips then beat repeatedly with hammer.

    Haynes: Index

    Translation: List of all the things in the book, bar what you need to do.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Coffee/keyboard

      Yep, and this is pretty much WHY I haven't used a Haynes manual since selling my XR3...

      Thanks Fluffykins - genuine LOLs here while reading this. :-D

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      @Fluffykins

      I nearly wet myself you b@$t4rd!!!

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Thumb Up

      My favourite is

      "Assembly is the reverse of disassembly"

    4. Rob

      Tears of flippin laughter

      I can vouch for most the translations to be completely true and correct

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Tears of flippin laughter

        "I can vouch for most the translations to be completely true and correct"

        I can vouch for their being understatements.

    5. adrianww
      Coffee/keyboard

      Thank you

      Thank you, thank you, thank you! Just as I remember it from trying to do some odd bits and pieces on a Series II Land Rover while following the appropriate Haynes manual.

      Oh and, fortunately, I wasn't actually drinking when I read all that. Otherwise you probably would indeed owe me a new keyboard, which could have been expensive given that I'm typing this on a laptop...

      1. James Hughes 1

        WD40?

        Good god, you shouldn't be using that as an easing oil. Use PlusGas or similar.

        Tut Tut.

    6. Neill Mitchell

      LOL

      That made my day :)

    7. The Unexpected Bill
      Happy

      Oh my!

      Fluffykins, you have just absolutely made my day. I wish that's the kind of thing that Haynes would really print in their manuals, because "ain't it the truth".

      While all of their manuals seem to be pretty bad, the one for 1981-89 Chrysler K platform cars is laughable, especially if yours had the 2.6L Mitsubishi engine. Oh, I got so mad while dealing with that wretched thing! And then I found the Chrysler factory service manual being offered for sale. What a difference!

      Frankly, it scares me that they've written an aircraft service manual. I sincerely hope no aircraft serviced from information in a Haynes manual flies over *my* house!

      Just how long have you been working on that?

    8. Anonymous Coward
      Go

      Thank you...

      Fluffykins, you made my day much brighter, as I disassembled a vintage 100Mhz-Pentium Aptiva PS/2. It was customary to IBM, in much written and no graphic detail, to describe how to remove a hard-drive through 18 double-sided pages, back then. 35 screws out, 20 back in, and the thing remained rock-solid, despite all the missing screws. I guess it was designed to be attached to a Diesel Locomotive, or this Avro-Vulcan bomber. Geez.

      Can I use the word "Overbuilt" in understatement mode? Thank you.

      When I was done tearing it apart, a lad asked me: "Will you be able to put it back together?" as I looked up and noticed there were ISA and riser cards spread all over the place. "Sure thing" I replied, "Here is IBM's manual on how to put it back" I lied.

      I'd rather have the Spitfire or the P-51, since I've seen the Merlin engine shoved into anything its owner wanted to move, from speed boats, to some home-built cars. Don´t ask me how can a moron control 1500 bhp on anything without wings. They just did, and without no friggin' 'puters.

    9. Nexox Enigma

      Oh God

      Midway through this I hit my limit for 'how much can you laugh out loud in the office before your coworkers think you've lost it,' so I'll have to continue reading at home. I think I'm going to print it out and keep it with my tools...

      I'm damned lucky that this full cup of coffee was nowhere near my lips at the time - a lesson I learned long ago when reading El Reg comments.

    10. Graham Marsden
      Boffin

      "Assembly is the reverse of disassembly..."

      ... so that tiny spring will *leap* from wherever it vanished to under the car/ workbench/ dog and land neatly in place...

    11. Steven Jones

      prepared in advance...

      I can't believe this is off the cuff and you must have been preparing this posting for years. Anyway, thanks for the laugh and demonstrating that it's not just me that is completely inept.

      Haynes manuals, like Meccano, made this country what it aspired to be before going down the pub looked like a better idea.

    12. elderlybloke
      Happy

      Fluffykins

      You have caused me to get a double hernia and also lots of eye watering .

      You must have used Haynes as much as I have.

    13. Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
      Coffee/keyboard

      ROFLMHO

      10/10 Flufftkins, sounds like you've skinned your knuckles more than once, but

      Haynes: This is a tight fit.

      Translation: Heat with blowtorch, Clamp with molegrips then beat repeatedly with a hammer.

      Will Fluffykins post become the most up-voted post ever?

      New keyboard please, and one for my colleague on the other side of the partition.

  12. karl 15
    Pint

    Yam

    I still have the Haynes manual for my old Yamaha 350lc YPVS, Mmmmm Haynes, sunny days of yesteryear spent in the shed listening to Thw Jam :)

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Errors

      Did you find the errors in that particular manual? I certainly did. Then I got hold of a copy of the Yamaha factory workshop manual and was much happier.

  13. Hayden Clark
    Happy

    "Complete strip down and rebuild"

    At least, this manual *will* be based on a "Complete strip down and rebuild", unlike most of these that just recycled the pictures from the manufacturer's workshop manual.

    I have a manual for the Morris Ital (don't ask). According to the credits in the flyleaf, the car in the picture was *borrowed* from a dealership - and so, I suppose, after unbolting a few things, they gave it back!

    1. BristolBachelor Gold badge
      Thumb Down

      New Haynes manuals are carp (IMHO)

      It used to be the case that they said every manual based on a Complete strip down and rebuild. I always had them and they were always useful (the translations above need to be known, and "reassembly is the reverse of removal" mean't you were probably better off trying to do it without the manual, because you'd take more care to remember!)

      Now they seem to all be the same manual but with a picture of a different car on the front. Practically anything more complex than fill it with fuel, washer water, and maybe an oil change are beyond what might be explained.

    2. ambrosen

      Heh! If I were buying a Morris Ital

      I'd rather it was re-assembled in Yeovil than built in Cowley or Longbridge.

  14. /dev/null
    Boffin

    Slightly suprised...

    ... they didn't cut some kind of a deal with VTST/TVOC to share the profits, given they must have liased quite closely with them to produce the book.

    Now, how about doing one on the TSR.2?

    1. Brian Morrison
      Thumb Up

      Yeah....

      ...including the admonition "Do not run the engines within the 96-98% rpm range or they will explode!

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      TSR2

      Now that would be interesting.

    3. graeme leggett

      Can still benefit them

      If you buy it through the Vulcan to the Sky store.

      Alternatively Airfix are doing a 50th birthday Vulcan model kit with a contribution going to them Though at 30 quid its expensive, and a bit of a sod to build well too.

      1. John Blagden
        Joke

        1/24th Scale?

        To go with my old Spit?

  15. Steven Jones

    How about

    If Haynes can find time to do this stuff, perhaps they might consider including the wiring diagram for the air conditioning system in the Mk I Focus manual rather than leaving it out completely. I'd rather they got round to doing that before starting out on the maintenance manual for HMS Vanguard.

    Is that too much to ask?

    1. James Hughes 1

      I think you will find

      that those qualified to write the Avro Vulcan book are not particularly familiar with the Mk1 Focus.

  16. Justabloke 1

    title here

    From the manual..

    Chapter 1 : basic handling

    1.1 Take offf, 2 spanners

    1.2 Throttle up, rotate once sufficient ground speed has been achieved

    2.1 Landing, 5 spanners

    2.2 Throttle back, while adjusting flaps to maintain lift.

  17. Neil Barnes Silver badge
    Boffin

    Fluffykins, you forgot one...

    Haynes: "There is now no reason why the engine will not start"

    Translation: but it's still not going to.

  18. PerlyKing Bronze badge
    Coffee/keyboard

    Brilliant!

    Thank you Fluffykins! Obviously from the heart!

  19. Peter Clarke 1
    Coat

    Special toolss

    Hammer??? Surely you mean Special Tool 0000 000001 :)

    You only need two tools- gaffer tape and WD40. if it moves but shouldn' then use the gaffer tape. If it doesn' move but should then use WD40 (easing oil for the pedants)

    1. TeeCee Gold badge
      Happy

      Ah yes.

      "Use British Leyland Service Tool RGX0000013798/V. If this is not available, it may be possible to accomplish the removal using a pair of large, flat-bladed screwdrivers as levers."

      Translation:

      "Use two screwdrivers, a piece of wood, an Austin 7 jack handle and that worn cam chain from a Vauxhall Viva that you've never got around to chucking out."

      I kid you not..............

  20. Mystic Megabyte Silver badge
    Happy

    Memories

    Back in the 60s I was at an air-show that was going to have a V bomber flypast.

    I was stranding on the roof of my Dad's Ford Popular, camera at the ready.

    F**k me, the Vulcan flew over at about 200ft!

    Everything shook and I nearly fell off the car, but I did get the shot on my trusty 1953 Zeiss Ikon.

    BTW TSR-2 circuit boards were for sale for a shilling In Lisle St. (Soho, London) at about the same time.

    From the Haynes manual: never touch baked O rings! Use mole grips and hammer :)

  21. Miami Mike
    Happy

    For real POH

    I have a genuine for real copy of the POH (Pilot's Operating Handbook) for an F-5E. Fortunately, it isn't classified so I don't have to kill myself for remembering I have it.

    8.5 by 11 inches (about A-4 size), a bit more than an inch thick (30mm for you guys in Metric-land), almost 3/4 of the book is emergency procedures. Most of them are three steps long. 1) try this. 2) try that. 3) bail out.

    Seems there's only one generator on board, driven off the right engine. If the right engine stops, so does all the electricity, and things get awkward very quickly thereafter. Time to trot, bwana.

    There are one or two civilian registered F-5s here, and a handful of T-38s - not too shabby for a little two-seat runabout ;-)

  22. John Dougald McCallum
    Unhappy

    Haynes

    Ahh another joke book great,best read along side the manufacturers own workshop manual

  23. Anonymous Coward
    WTF?

    re Daniel1/Vulcan not safe to fly

    You've clearly never read this thread on pprune then.

    http://www.pprune.org/aviation-history-nostalgia/111797-did-you-fly-vulcan-merged.html

    There's an awful lot of former Vulcan crews on there who would disagree with you, and a little discussion of the Glenview crash. Though the people who know what went on don't really want to talk about it in public. Be warned, it's a very long but deeply engrossing thread about all things Vulcan related.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Go

      Daniel1

      Daniel is not wrong. The Coningsby crash in 1964 was the second time that this happened on an asymetric overshoot at Coninsgby. By great skill a crash was averted the first time but the aircraft still shed a number of wheels and was recovered to Waddington.

      There was another near miss at Akrotiri when the aircraft was possibly in a supersonic or near sonic dive.

      There were several controlled flight into terrain crashes as the crews tried to use a bomber designed and equiped for high altitude flight on low altitude training sorties - TFR etc only came later.

      The rear crew escape system was an article of faith that might have worked in combat at high altitude but frequently didn't in training.

      In today's safety conscious world the Vulcan would never have been built. In the airshow circuit it still has no reliable rear crew escape system.

      Like Daniel's dad, I was Vulcan crew.

  24. Mike Flugennock

    Apollo LM Manual...?

    Wasn't it Haynes who also produced the Apollo LM DIY maintenance manual -- or was it Chilton's?

  25. Mips
    Jobs Horns

    Aérospatiale-BAC Concorde?

    Section one = How to check your fuel tank linings.

  26. Graham Bartlett

    @Fluffykins

    Not new by any means, but funny all the same.

    And in common with most people, I find "Refitting is the reverse sequence to removal" to be the most accurate there. Possibly the least helpful instruction ever.

  27. Sir Lancelot
    Thumb Up

    It ain't rocket science!

    I can hardly wait for the "Saturn V rocket" edition to be published.

  28. vulcan

    those manuals

    My abiding memory of Haynes manuals was if it took 3 pages to described an operation it would take about 15 minutes to do. If it was a one line description the time taken would be 3 hours!!!

    I have seen the Vulcan at many an airshow and have always been impressed but probably the best sight was 5 in formation over its birthplace when it was retired from service.

  29. Mike Flex

    Re: Nice

    > Though I suspect the content is far removed from a real workshop manual for an aircraft.

    It's a Haynes manual of fairy tales, innit. I'd no more expect to be able to strip and rebuild a Vulcan from one than they could tell me how to strip and rebuild a car.

    Still, they're useful for those annoying little tasks like changing headlamp bulbs which, bizarrely, are expected to be garage jobs these days.

  30. Max_Normal
    Thumb Down

    Waaaah! Don't touch Haynes manuals, you'll fall out of the sky.

    My Haynes manual told be to connect the oil pipes the wrong way round on my Triumph Bonneville after I had rebuilt the engine. Queue an instant seize followed by yet another new set of pistons.

  31. wader
    Black Helicopters

    Electrics

    The Boy's Own Book of Electrics was over 4 inches thick. When one was lost over Durham a call went out in the press for anyone findng it to hand it in.

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