back to article England win World Cup, says dried vulture brain

Footie punters eager to know if their team has any possibility of winning the world cup would do well to take note of the shamanic powers of vulture brains, whose far-seeing powers can apparently foresee if, for example, England are going to screw up yet again in the essential penalty shoot-out. According to South African …

COMMENTS

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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Troll

    Not a snowballs

    "celebrating the moment in which our beloved, overpaid, national team didn't screw it up in the penalty box"

    Then wake up and eat your cornflakes.

  2. TheRobster Silver badge
    Thumb Up

    A title.

    "drink ten pints instead, and then convince yourself that you had a vision of driving around London with a couple of flapping plastic England flags outside yer motor's window, celebrating the moment in which our beloved, overpaid, national team didn't screw it up in the penalty box. "

    Amen to that!

  3. Evil Auditor Silver badge

    "The harvesting of the bird's heads"

    It shows disgusting disrespect for nature to kill such wonderful creatures just for their brains. The question, however, is, if they took just the brains and not the whole heads of the poor birds could the vultures live on? Who is more competent to answer such a decisive question than Vulture Central.

  4. Richard 120
    WTF?

    Oh dear

    "electrocution from electricity pylons"

    That sounds like a similar myth to the whole vulture bone eating thing. The starlings round my way don't seem to mind them, they seem to positively thrive on them in fact.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Oh dear

      A starling isn't big enough to span the insulators and short itself to ground via the tower. I'd imagine there would be a nice arc when a vulture spreads its wings to take off, sounds like I'd better spell out for you that the wing wouldn't need to actually touch the tower.

    2. mike2R
      Boffin

      Re:

      More to the point. If these birds have prescient brains, can't they foresee the consequences of flying into an electricity pylon?

  5. Gordon is not a Moron

    So would

    eating the dried brains of El Reg hacks work just as well?

    Curses, no vulture icon.

    1. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

      Re: So would

      You can have mine, it's pre-dessicated.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Badgers

        You can have mine, it's pre-dessicated.

        Bee Tee Total? I dont believe it!

        I dont think hacks know what dry means.

        Pickled Brains all round.

        1. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

          Re: You can have mine, it's pre-dessicated.

          Don't be silly.

      2. Alan Thomson
        Flame

        This is not a title

        That's desiccated, Ms Bee.

        1. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

          Re: This is not a title

          Well, that just proves it.

  6. Ray 11

    I see there is no The Register Vulture head icon in the list

    Was it used by a Sangoma for muti?

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    @screw up yet again in the essential penalty shoot-out.

    Frank Lampard has shown himself in recent years truly adept at penalty taking, someone you'd bet your house on (well, not me, I don't gamble!). And yet in the last month he's missed two including missing the goal entirely in the FA Cup final. Looks like he's been in training for the World Cup.

  8. Richard IV
    Dead Vulture

    Disgraceful lack of obvious props

    Where's the Playmobil info-graphic with a printout of a certain logo that forms part of a masthead not a million pixels up from this comment?

  9. alwarming

    what was that????????????

    England shared a point with yanks ? can't believe it!!!!

    Is this Boston Tea party all over again ????

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