back to article Boobquake fails to destroy planet

Planet Earth has not (yet) been destroyed by today's terrifying Boobquake experiment - one Indiana student's response to Iranian cleric Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi's insistence that immodestly dressed women provoke earthquakes. Sedighi recently declared: "Many women who do not dress modestly ... lead young men astray, …

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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Grenade

    Blimey

    Do we really have to put up with these Bronze Age, mad, dangerous tossers? Can't we just wipe them out and save ourselves hundreds of years of religious cluster-fucks?

    They'll be saying the Earth is flat next....... ;-)

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Wipe who out?

      I think wiping women out is a bit of an extreme solution to what is, after all, just a jape.

      It would put an end to a lot of religious problems though (as well as a whole load of other problems the human race has caused/experienced).

    2. Goatan
      Flame

      re: Blimey

      I say we take off and nuke the sight from orbit. Its the only way to be sure.

    3. John Bailey
      Thumb Up

      Certainly

      Right after we get rid of our own bronze aged numpties. And believe me.. They do exist.

      One set of sky fairy worshippers is as bad as any of the others. So we either make them all illegal, take away their ability to speak out on behalf of their imaginary friend, or strip all religions of legal special treatment across the board.

      Personally, I favour the latter. I'd love to see the pope arrested in connection with concealing information on child abuse from the police.

      1. Spoonguard
        Black Helicopters

        Don't think this could happen

        The pope is the absolute sovereign of a independent state, do you honestly think he is going to extradite himself? And what exactly would that accomplish?

  2. Alex Walsh
    Thumb Up

    It must be hard

    Having your job Lester. Tell me, do you actually get paid or pay El Reg to come up with this sort of stuff?!

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Stop

    Boobs 1, English comprehension 0

    Amazing, either the translation is off, or our impromptu activist has serious deficiencies in parsing English. According to the quote, it's not the boobs that cause the earthquakes, it's the sinful fornication they "obviously" provoke which does so ... and THAT is a hypothesis I would very much like to test.

    1. Red Bren
      Coat

      I've tested this already

      The earth always moves for her!

    2. Lionel Baden
      Thumb Up

      @AC Boob1 ....

      Actually he did blame women dressing scantily for causing the quake.

      The result of them being scantily clad causes men to fornicate more often in turn causing earthquakes.

      Now she has put to the test a large number of women (the first step to causing a earthquake) dressing scantily.

      Now as nothing has happened we can now cross that off our list !!

      I now propose a new experiment

      I ask all members of el Reg to do their part and have sex with their partners (all in the name of science) at the same time.

      Does 22:30 GMT this cumming ^HHHHHHH comming friday suit everybody ???

      Remember people Science Needs YOU !!!!!

    3. Captain TickTock

      ...Hard?

      fnarrh fnarrh.

  4. Ian Sawyer 1

    Fwooar

    Hmmm those jubblies made my desk quake

  5. Huntsman
    Thumb Up

    Those bad boys

    may have failed to produce a quake, but I've just had some movement in my underpants.

    I'd say her norks were a 7 on the Rackter scale.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    It's not very scientific is it?

    What is the objective?

    Is she attempting to establish that leading young men astray, corrupting their chastity and spreading adultery in society doesn't lead to earthquakes, or that scantily clad lasses don't lead young men astray, etc.

    I rather hope it's the latter, as encouraging adultery just to prove a point seems a little OTT.

    1. Test Man
      Heart

      Wow

      They were an excellent specimen, for sure!

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Norks!

      That made me laugh out loud you muppet. I could get into serious trouble, I'm not allowed to even smile for fear of getting sacked....

      Keep your witty comments to yourself in future :)

      Norks... definitely a term that should be used more often.

    3. alyn

      Who cares?

      This is the sort of science experiment I like. I might have paid more attention to science classes at school if they did experiments like this.

      The earth moved for me looking at Jennys picture ( or was that just flatulance)

    4. Svantevid
      Happy

      Just to prove a point?

      "encouraging adultery just to prove a point seems a little OTT."

      Dear AC, _any_ reason to corrupt my chastity and encourage adultery is a perfectly good reason.

      Or would be if I wasn't married... still, I fully support anyone willing to jump in and be thoroughly corrupted. At least three times per night. ;-)

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        um

        "... _any_ reason to corrupt my chastity and encourage adultery is a perfectly good reason. Or would be if I wasn't married ..."

        So adultery would be okay for you if you weren't married?

  7. eWill
    Coat

    Actually....

    That cleric said that imodestly dressed women incited men to lust and adultury and it was this "energy " that caused the earth quakes... so if the women of world would really like to stress test this issue, they should be having affairs and madly flirting

    Please tell me where you'd like to meet I'm happy to help !

  8. Eden
    Unhappy

    What a shame.

    A missed oppertunity there...if only there had been a well timed earth quake we would no doubt have seen a mass increase in scantily clad ladies theatening to flash themselves at people. *sigh*, oh what could have been!

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Kudos

    On picking up an interesting story

    the clerics views are news to me and frankly this courageous young woman's counter to it is interesting.

    I'm busy at work though, so I will revisit this story tonight.

    When my wife's out.

    AC for all the usual reasons

  10. z0mb13e
    Paris Hilton

    hmmm...

    Given that there are earth quakes daily would this 'experiment' not just add fuel to the fires of those living with these weird beliefs?

    'See! She shakes her tits and look what happens! Earth Quakes! Yeah! See! I told you...'

    However for the rest of us - carry on...

    Paris - you know why...

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    dunno

    They flipped from earth quakes to tornados.

    1. I didn't do IT.
      Boffin

      Statistical Analysis

      Ah, my friend. You forgot that she was an *Indiana* college student (we grow'em right round here, eh?) ;)

      Her blog also stated that she had accumulated earthquake activity for the days prior and she would continue for the days after, thereby allowing comparisons for seeing if there was *increased* sesmic activity during the, ahem, experiments.

      Perhaps not a poker tournament winning heavenly body theorist, but hey - we get what we can!

  12. Stephane Mabille
    Paris Hilton

    Iran 1 - Boobs 0

    Earthquake, 6.5 on Richter scale, at 02:59 GMT this morning in Taiwan.... looks like the Boobs really upset Iranian leader Imaginary Friend.....

    Paris: only 0,1 on Richter...

  13. SpoodyGoon
    Thumb Up

    I for one welcome our new breast overlords

    I for one welcome our new breast overlords and welcome the distant sound of motorboating as a sign of the coming messiah.

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Happy

    Norks

    That made me laugh out loud you muppet. I could get into serious trouble, I'm not allowed to even smile for fear of getting sacked....

    Keep your witty comments to yourself in future :)

    Norks... definitely a term that should be used more often.

  15. Number6

    In Other News...

    The new Nevada coastline has seen a glut of applications to build beachfront properties.

  16. Ian Ferguson
    Black Helicopters

    Speak for yourselves...

    ...we had a minor earthquake (6.5 I believe) early in the morning here in Taipei, about the time that this experiment occurred.

    I think these devious corrupt Americans should recompensate us!

    I also believe the ash cloud causing me to be stuck in Taiwan is god's direct response to Newcastle.

    1. Bucky 2
      Pint

      I speak for God

      This just goes to show whiney and passive-aggressive a deity can be.

  17. Dave The Cardboard Box
    Megaphone

    This young woman should be applauded

    She just should.

    Seriously, if we are going to be bashing someone for being out of touch we should also look at the surveys in Britain that show a large minority of people think women who have been raped were partly responsible because they wore revealing clothes. Still, go on feel superior.

  18. This post has been deleted by its author

  19. Robert Carnegie Silver badge

    I'm busy but

    I can manage some lusting if that helps to prove the point. Let me know when to start (I may go hahead without you).

  20. Anonymous Coward
    Megaphone

    Cleric Ahmed says...

    My temple has collapsed! You jezebelle of an infidel!

    1. The old man from scene 24

      so what is the truth

      This is, of course, very emotive. But I've not seen any evidence one way or the other. It would be good to know whether there is a correlation between the incidence of scantily clad ladies and the incidence of rape. And if so, where the causality lies.

      Not that rape is justified no matter how scantily clad anyone is, but I suspect there would be a correlation simply on the principle that a rising tide lifts all boats. i.e. a society that is more judicious in its personal morality is likely to have a lower incidence of both rape and liberal clothing policies and a society that is less moral it likely to have more of both.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        FAIL

        You what?

        "a society that is more judicious in its personal morality is likely to have a lower incidence of both rape and liberal clothing policies and a society that is less moral it likely to have more of both."

        I was under the impression that there was no correlation between sexual violence and 'morality'. Personally, I find it immoral to try to inflict your idea of morality on others, that's what seems to cause a lot of these problems in the first place. I'd go as far as to suggest that societies with more liberal attitudes towards sex would suffer from a lower incidence of sexual violence, as a consequence of sexual release being more readily available without having to resort to rape.

        I don't know about you, but I'd rather live in a country where rape victims weren't prosecuted for being immoral (as reportedly happens in Iran), and people are free to make their own 'moral' choices rather than having them inflicted on them by some dubious-looking beardy blokes.

        1. LaeMing Silver badge
          Grenade

          Leaving aside...

          ... that everything I have read (from reasonably reputable sources, at least) says rape is much more about assertion of power than it is about sexual need, it is pretty obvious that the more a society blames the victim (for any crime, not just rape), the less likely the crime is to be reported. Criminals love this, I'm sure.

          If the end result of you speaking up that your cousin, father, local religious leader, or (about 25% as likely) some stranger raped you, is to be called a whore and persecuted (possibly even stoned to death, or otherwise 'honour killed'), would you call the attacker to account for their actions, or suffer in silence? Like I said, rapists love that sort of status quo, whether they be rapists in person, or rapists by proxy supporting such attitudes in a society.

          I tend to agree with an AC above: there are concentrated pockets of backwards humanity, particularly in the mid-east and southern US, and one I could mention in Europe, that really would be of most benefit to humanity as test points for orbital nuclear deployment strategies.

        2. The old man from scene 24

          You may be right...

          But I was kind of hoping someone would present some evidence one way or the other, rather than invective.

          I also think you need to be careful not to interpret correlation in such a way that it equates to blame of the victim. Otherwise your stance against blaming the victim (which I wholeheartedly endorse) will be unnecessarily undermined if evidence does turn out to favour correlation.

  21. LesDootagin

    is more investigation warranted?

    Should we be encouraging the scientific community to investigate a possible correlation between the tornadoes that ripped across the southern and midwestern US this weekend and the centrifugal use of stripper poles across the same geographical region, during the same time period?

  22. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    SoCal is plagued by (small) quakes today

    Many dozens of small Earthquakes in Southern California today. All small, but some guys prefer smaller ones anyway...

  23. DI_Wyman
    Happy

    A poor grasp?

    Iranian clerics have a poor grasp of the fundamentals of plate tectonics. In fact I think you may find they have a poor grasp of most things!

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Heart

      Nah...

      That's the myth that women with small ones like to perpetuate...

      1. LaeMing Silver badge
        Happy

        Bit like the myth that...

        a man's size doesn't matter, eh: ;-P

    2. Stewart Haywood

      @A poor grasp?

      My understanding has always been that earthquakes are caused by Iranian clerics with a very firm grasp of their todgers.

  24. Juan Inamillion
    Coat

    Jubtastic!

    That is all.

  25. Rocket
    Coffee/keyboard

    Am I too late?

    Why weren't we warned about this *before* it actually happened?

    Then I could've been prepared in case a flesh-flasher was wandering in front of me.

  26. SlabMan

    The CIA is interested in the military potential

    Realising it could be incredibly cost-effective, they've established a black-ops program to explore the military applications of mammary-induced tectonic convulsions. The new division will be located next door to The Men Who Stare at Goats, and is provisionally named 'The Chicks who Flash at Scrotes'.

  27. Anonymous Coward
    Unhappy

    Quaking Nukes

    http://www.slate.com/id/2246332/

    Long Live Democratic Seismology

    Chile survived its huge earthquake relatively well. Iran would be a different story.

    By Christopher Hitchens

    Posted Monday, March 1, 2010, at 10:32 AM ET

    ... "In Tehran, Iran's capital, Dr. Bilham has calculated that one million people could die in a predicted quake similar in intensity to the one in Haiti." (Italics added.) ...

    ... And what would happen to the secret nuclear facilities, both under the ground and above it? ... what would the survivors think when they looked around the (possibly irradiated) ruins ...

    ... it should become part of our humanitarianism and our public diplomacy to warn the Iranian people of the man-made reasons that the results of a natural calamity would be hideously multiplied in their case. This, together with the offer of immediate help in earthquake-proofing, enhanced from our experiences in California, is nothing less than a moral responsibility. ...

  28. kissingthecarpet
    Thumb Up

    Have a look at her blog as well

    e.g. The thing about the Christian anti-porn rally was entertaining

  29. alviator
    Coat

    For Science

    This kind of breakthrough research must be peer reviewed and reproducible by independent bodies (preferably immodest). And what is the critical point? Is it one boob or two or many all at once....

    Excuse me, I'll be in my bunk.

  30. Pontiff
    FAIL

    Boobquake?

    Surely the title to this piece should should be Bulgarian airbag quake fails to destroy planet?

  31. Louis 3
    Boffin

    They did it wrong

    Uh, girls...

    He said, "Many women who do not dress modestly ... spread adultery in society, which increases earthquakes."

    This means that spreading adultery causes earthquakes, not dressing immodestly. Why don't we all try again tomorrow?

  32. Anonymous Coward
    Happy

    I couldn't really tell

    Moar please!

  33. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Nominated

    For an IgNobel.

  34. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Jeff Dunham

    I Keeel You!

    Silence!

  35. Captain Save-a-ho
    Paris Hilton

    Monitoring and peer review needed

    To avoid the mistakes made with other well-known scientific ventures (like climate research), I suggest that these experiment should require the sort of scientific rigor that will likely keep many of us scientists occupied for roughly 10 minutes at a time (couple times a day?) to monitor the experiments and attempt to validate the quality of the results.

    I wonder whether that's how Paris got her start. Maybe she's smarter than we think.

  36. Sandra Greer
    Flame

    Rape in those countries

    There are plenty of rapes in those countries where the women are veiled head to toe. Only the police won't respond to complaints, and the women's relatives respond by killing the women. Morality has nothing to do with dress and everything to do with taking responsibility for one's own actions.

    As long as the crass morons with Imaginary Friends make the rules, they can focus on fake morality and ignore the real thing. This goes for the Vatican also, now doesn't it?

  37. Ian Emery Silver badge
    Paris Hilton

    Boobs STOP Earthquakes.

    i just checked my favourite Earthquake news page (sad I know); and there have been fewer quakes reported today than on any day I can remember!!

    Get your kit off to save the planet girls!!

    http://www.myforecast.com/bin/earthquake.m?city=W31960&metric=true

    Did Paris contribute?? Where are the photos!!

  38. Ian Michael Gumby Silver badge
    Paris Hilton

    Uhm... the cleric may actually have something ...

    Clearly this picture went up on the 'net prior to April 25th.

    The female poster is a student at Indiana University?

    Well from :

    http://earthquake.usgs.gov/earthquakes/recenteqsus/Quakes/nmhnw0424a.php

    There was a quake in Indiana not really too far. Approx 75 miles from Bloomington.

    I would have to say that her study is inconclusive and that definitely more testing of her theory should be done! After all, we do want to be scientific about this, right?

    Paris because she does know how to dress!

    1. Marvin the Martian
      Stop

      Whoopsy.

      You're pretty definitely wrong here: they did cause an earthquake. An hour before kickoff --- obviously when the thoughts looking forward to immodesty were highest --- the combined naughty thinking of those showing AND THOSE GOING TO OGLE combined to trigger an earthquake.

      During the action of course there was less of that: reality always disappoints, so the (far more numerous) males relaxing back to normal reality (no anticipation, and just the regular 95% porn content online) restored things to baseline immodesty.

  39. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Down

    responsibility.

    so lets get this right.

    our men are barely more than animals and can not control themselves at the sight of an ankle. so its YOUR fault for showing them. the religion of fail.

    1. LaeMing Silver badge
      Megaphone

      I always wonder,

      why the men of these beliefs are so prepared to risk their immortal souls by going anywhere near countries that don't have their standards of female dress. The obviously don't believe their own BS or they would not be leaving their own provincial little parts of the flat Earth.

  40. Anonymous Coward
    Stop

    Hmm

    http://www.torontosun.com/news/weird/2010/04/26/13725861.html

  41. Captain TickTock
    Coat

    Weapons...

    of mass distraction...

    Mine's the dirty mac.

    Must clean the keyboard

  42. jon 77

    hmm, these would better!!

    http://fukung.net/v/12369/a68239be9c160d27d8403e751d24460c.gif

    (dont worry, they are covered.... )

    sure to set some things moving!! :D

    hey find them for me, but I cannot see any good sized ones on facepalm or twatter... ???

  43. Ian 31
    Thumb Up

    Respect the jubs.

    Well done that woman.

  44. Jon Axtell
    FAIL

    A quake DID happen

    http://www.news.com.au/breaking-news/world/magnitude-quake-strikes-off-taiwan/story-e6frfkui-1225858389891

    1. Skydreamer
      Alert

      Quake happened!

      One did happen - and not just one - check the quake records on this site:

      http://earthquake.usgs.gov/earthquakes/recenteqsww/Quakes/quakes_all.html

    2. Gumby 1

      A quake DID happen true, but an hour before kickoff

      Yes we noticed that 6.5 quake, Good thing the Boobquake hadn't started or it would have messed up the stats.

  45. BillyBobsBoobEmporium
    Thumb Up

    No Fear

    In an earthquake, surrounded by exposed breats that are all a jiggle.

    Why would that be bad?

  46. jon 77

    heres a better one!!! :D

    http://www.daniellecorsetto.com/images/gws/GWS927.jpg

  47. john 212

    what would be interesting is

    if the Reg had a Mohammed icon.

  48. CapitalW
    Paris Hilton

    No earthquake....

    ...but the temperature just went up a few degrees. Yep, she triggered localized global worming.

    We already know Paris can affect temperatures, etc.

  49. Magilla
    Alert

    Maybe it works!

    Kalgoorlie, Western Australia, has the most notorious Red Light District on the Western side of Australia, and for the last week, has been rocked by daily earthquakes, from multiple epicentres - measuring from 2 to 5.8 on the Richter scale.

  50. Anonymous Coward
    Grenade

    So can we learn from this...

    that contrary to what Iranian clerics (what level was he? My 17th-level Mage could fry him!) spout from their mouth-things, Allah actually DOES like 8008132?

    Anon, and let's see if this gets though the mods!

  51. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Lots of stats to play with

    There were fewer force 4 or above quakes while the experiment was in progress than in the days immediately prior to it.

  52. Velv Silver badge
    Coffee/keyboard

    Imaginary Friends....

    Even the Catholic church will be outraged by this "experiment" - think of all the wasted semen.

  53. Anonymous Coward
    Welcome

    Facebook fans at last are we?

    I am amazed how the presentation of a few sets of jubblies are enough to convert the entire population of commentards to facebook fans over night.

    What? Did you not know that this was a facebook group that you are applauding?

    (Welcome. Welcome to facebook, philistines.)

  54. spezzer
    Grenade

    its understandable..

    how an Iranian cleric could reach this conclusion. Clearly theres a link between scantily clad women, horny guys and more sex. The chances are that the cleric has probably overheard men talk about sex and reached the conclusion that indeed the earth does move!

    Seeemple!

  55. Richard 120

    Fervour

    When I read the original story I assumed he'd (the cleric) been misquoted, or something was out of context.

    Has anyone verified that what's being reported are actually the blokes thoughts?

    If they are then there's something not right in his head, he's seemingly deranged.

    Analysing the words carefully and trying to make sense of the thought process that went into making the original statement leads me to conclude that he's missed the last 800 or so years of scientific developments, not picked up on the fact that one of the most stable geographic regions on the planet (UK) has a vastly more immodest way of dressing than he's used to, and I'm sure the UK is not the only place on the planet where some womed dress tartily and there's a distinct lack of seismic activity.

    The test is a fail though, the words actually state it's the adultery that's causing the earthquakes, not the boobage. The assumption he's made is that immodesty increases adultery.

    I wonder about that though, I wonder what's more likely to cause adultery, a bit of cleavage on show , or alternatively not actually knowing what your wife looks like until your wedding night and subsequently finding she is not to your taste.

    I don't get the way some minds work regardless of how much I try, that much is very apparent.

  56. Anonymous Coward
    Alert

    Bouncing?

    Surely in order to generate enough energy for a quake, the ladies all need to be seen jumping up and down?

  57. HFoster

    Can prehistoric earthquakes be identified archaeologically?

    If so, all we need is to find enough evidence for high incidences of quakes occurring before humankind, and thusly before moral rules existed to be broken.

    Not that any religious order is likely to let a piddling little thing like fact or scientific rigour trouble them.

  58. Anonymous Coward
    Joke

    Proof

    Did the cleric try any of his comments for proof. If he did it is very scientific. Or it may be his version of God farting that causes earthquakes.

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