Wait a minute...
..did I stumble on The Sun's or Daily Sport's websites by mistake?
A Manchester woman who took a tumble from her Wii Fit board is suffering an earth-moving side effect of the Nintendo-related mishap: she's now a nymphomaniac. "Randy" Amanda Flowers, 24, was diagnosed with "persistent sexual arousal syndrome due to a damaged nerve", the Daily Star explains. She's susceptible to the "slightest …
Not IT angle, mind you - but an IT angel, a mythical creature from the heavens, in this day and age brought to you in the safety and convenience of your own dorm by the interwebs. An IT angel is the closest to a partner most of us will ever get, so if IT is in the genes we will be the last generation, etc.
Whenever i hear that word 'munter' i just think: that person's not got any choice about how god made her (or him - although blokes don't have the same pressure to be pretty). You on the other hand, have the choice to not be a complete fucking compassionless shitstain on the fabric of society. Men like you want their teeth smashing in and no mistake.
get out of your basements and find a decent place to work; the coding shop in which I work has more than a 50% female crew.
Some are beautiful, others make up for lack of "looks" with personalities that I would die for; O.K. most are attached, but there are geekesses out there that would probably not say 'no' if asked out. Bite the bullet (or the mouse, whatever), take a chance and you might even be able to leave your parents house soon.
..an ex of mine behaved somewhat like that (though fuelled mostly by coke and craziness). It's really exciting at first, but when you start noticing friction injuries on your bits from overuse, it starts to get a lot less entertaining.
Put me off the whole idea for a while, that.
I really should have used the Joke Alert icon, shouldn't I?
<-------- Okay, here it is.
Saying that, who didn't think "that'd be awesome" before thinking about the practicalities of it? Rumcajz clearly did- an off switch would make this a really good thing to be afflicted with!
One fluff piece like that out of the Star and half the male population turns into a bunch of giggling twelve year old boys.
I imagine something like that would become quite debilitating after a while.
Not that I wouldn't want to swap places with her for a few days though, you know, just out of scientific curiosity.
Shows the difference between UK and USA - in the latter I'm sure Ms Flowers would be reaching for that attorney, whereas here in Blighty it's more likely a call to Max Clifford.
That said, checking the instructions for my Wii-Fit (too many sodas/beers/pizzas to work off) and it does quite clearly warn you about losing balance. Slippery rugs are definite no-no.
Stupid question - but if it's a knocked nerve isn't there something that the medics can do? Joking/sniggering apart - this is bound to be somewhat of a disability.
Never think these kinds of things through.. for instance, would you really want to have sex with men 10 times a day for a few days?
(I am of course making assumptions based on the general geekiness of the register reader base; straight, nerdy and with interesting social skills (that includes me too btw)).. you may of course be a gay adonis with an who just wishes he had a larger libido.. I which case I guess my point is a bit moot)
Sadly I'm neither gay adonis nor moderatrix. Besides, I have no doubt sockpuppeting is probably beneath our beloved Ms Bee. At the very least there will be minions for that sort of thing.
Just out of interest - why would swapping places with her imply having sex with men 10 times a day? Why would it imply having sex with anyone? That's the kind of thinking I was referring to in my first post, and which leads to the Star printing priapic nonsense like "Hopefully one day I’ll find a superstud who can satisfy me" ;o)
You owe the US bashing kitty a £. From what I hear you're just as litigious over on your side of the pond as we are.
Wonder why nobody ever gets these injuries falling off their Step Aerobics boards? Or a brick?
I guess because the brick doesn't have deep pockets like Nintendo does.
Having lived on both sides of the pond, I can definitely testify to the UK being much less litigious than the USA. There are a few reasons for that:
1) Punitive damages. Damages awards in the UK are a tiny fraction of what they are in the US. This makes it much harder for lawyers to get rich ambulance chasing and therefore reduces the number of lawyer induced ridiculous lawsuits.
2) No win no fee. This was only recently introduced in the UK, and is a key driver of crazy lawsuits. Interestingly, no win no fee has lots of limitations in the UK, and a frivolous law suit is much more likely to result in extensive costs for the complainant in the UK than the US.
Also another clear sign that litigation is much more likely in the US than the UK is the presence of adverts about companies converting structured settlements into cash now. These adverts don't exist at all in the UK, but are regularly on daytime TV in the US.
As mentioned best fixes are:
Not having a shave
Seriously my girlfriend is highly sexed, minimum is once a day, and twice is more normal, if i was at home I dont think she would ever stop!
Also I agree the friction burns, "paper" cuts, etc can be quite painful if you have had a busy weekend!
Robster, I was attempting to be drole by linking two posts together. As for the "gratuitous offence", I was refering to the offence I was causing. I think my initial response to Ms Bee's comment shows I have a sense of humour through the use of self-deprecation or perhaps you didn't bother to read it? So maybe it's you who needs to grow up or at least learn to understand complicated sentences. You might find a dictionary will help too, you half-witted little bitch.
Oh dear, is this the level of 'The Reg' authors integrity? Getting stories from the Daily Star, I thought The Reg was the place to come for genuine IT related stories and reviews, but what do I find today, this Tripe, and what a load of twoddle it is. I hope this 'Lester' doesn't consider himself as serious author putting out articles like this, no sorry, not the sort of thing I expect to find here, keep stories printed in the Daily Star/Sun whatever, there, they have no need to be repeated here.
I see you're new here, so I'll offer a few tips.
Anything in 'Bootnotes' is fair game.
Anything written by Lewis or Lester will likely be male chauvinistic in nature with liberal helpings of double entendres. I hasten to add that this is mostly tongue-in-cheek.
If you're likely to be offended by this, I would stay away from articles by either in Bootnotes!
Maybe NSFW shold be redefined as Not Suitable For Women (JOKE, OKAY)
Can we start a charity hear to donate gear for the demanding dame? We need one of each: food processor, washing machine, dremel, hammer drill, PS 2 controller, 12v battery with alligator clips, ultrasonic cleaner, paint shaker, 12 speed blender, fish tank pump, krytron switches, rubirosa, a dead parrot, SPAM, a vial with Chilean soil, a peeled mango, a cattleprod and the Claude Villee Biology Primer for Highschool students.
Mine's not the one with a 1 TB volume innocently labeled System 64.
This isn't a news story - it's a begging letter. And Ok Sarah I won't win any Brad Pitt lookalike compos but I've never fallen for the sexist myth that women have a vastly different attitude to nookie than men. I've just never resorted to advertising in the Daily Star after going without for a few weeks....
Welcome - as all offers would be
is a mental illness which is sometimes has an aspect of a heightened desire for physical sex to offset feelings of low self worth. You don't want to wish this on your girlfriend; You nip down the shops for five minutes and you return find her naked in the street running after the milkman and don't try to go to work, whatever you do. She then spends a prolonged period in a mental hospital.
Nowadays (i.e. since the invention of psycho-analysis) they talk about hypersexuality; Increased desire for sex for a variety of reasons. But hey, schizophrenia is not multiple personality disorder, why let facts get in the way of a good story.
I've become more choosy, as I await my free bus-pass to arrive.
I've decided that the essential qualifications for any woman who wants a 'nice piece of pork' from me must have no GCSE's, loads of cheap bling, fake Burberry coat (aren't fakes and the real thing both made in China??) and absolutely essentially, an ASBO for, er, nocturnally 'bothering' the neighbours.
Oh, Manchester's out. Mutht be an Ethex lath.
But, at my age, I can't be fuc*king arsed. (er, oops...)
My wife and I have had one since it first came out and I can assure you that THIS (very sadly) is a 1 in a billion occurance! And while it has helped us both lose quite a bit of weight and she looks even more beautiful than the very day I met her 15 years ago, her labido hasn't increased one iota.
You're obviously using the wrong exercise technique. To increase the size of your wife's labido you're probably going to have to do something that involves small weights and patience, or possibly some kind of vacuum appliance. I'd Google it for you, but have Safesearch turned on.
Assuming that is her, I would say although she is not model standard she is not exactly grotesque either.
Guys complaining about not enough sex: perhaps if you did one or more of the following you might get it more often:
-actually being nice to your partner
-helping around the house once in a while
-losing some weight and getting your hair cut
-getting a woman in the first place
-not being such a dick
-showering occasionally (change your clothes regularly too)
The one consistent factor in *you* not getting sex is, well, you.
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