back to article Steve Jobs: 'Pad? That's my word'

The latest off-the-cuff email from Steve Jobs has injected another soupçon of silliness into the ongoing kerfuffle over the iPad's name - and in doing so, it has further established the CEO of the Decade's reputation for imperious disregard for the developers who have contributed mightily to his company's success. Jobs' most …

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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Down

    Jobs!

    What a wanker

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Apple's relationship with developers

    Don't forget there's a 100 million iPhone OS devices out there, and customers are two finger taps away from buying your apps.

    When Jobs says 'jump' you say 'how high?'

  3. Inachu
    Heart

    STEVE JOBS already lost.

    Radio Shack lost this one as they thought they owned the word "SHACK"

    Radio shack was going after any website be it commercail or personal if they had the word Shack either as a TITLE or HEADING on their website.

    Well we all know what happened yes? Don't remember?

    RADIO SHACK LOST!

    For a short time people reveling that they won against Radio shack put up

    titles in their HTML document:

    LISA'S SHACK

    WEL COME TO BOB'S SHACK OF HORRORS

    SHACK OF DELIGHTS

    etc, etc, etc, etc, yadda yadda yadda.

    So now again we will have:

    WELCOME TO THE PAD OF INACHU!

  4. Alien Doctor 1.1
    Flame

    Only slightly facetious

    Are Steve Jobs and Jim Gamble related (at least in their perceived Godheadedness)?

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Jobs Horns

    Arrogance and genius has it's price...

    ... it can make you turn into a giant knob-end.

    Then again, I suspect that his 'Jobness' has always been an annoyingly single minded control freak.

    ... so long as he's happy with his small willy, that's all that counts ... ;)

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Jobs Horns

      The thing about that

      is that while there are 100 million apps for the iPhone out there, every iPhone user already has both of the useful ones...

      1. hplasm Silver badge
        Jobs Horns

        Those would be-

        The Android emulator and Opera Mini?

        *This reply only for padding *

        /Gets coat and pads away. Pad pad pad pad...

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Jobs Horns

      I don't get the genius bit...

      I mean he's not the engineer behind any of these svelte bits of electronic wonderment. He's not the lead marketeer who- every time a new product comes out- restricts supply so he can say "they sold out on launch day". He's just a twunt in a turtleneck.

    3. Daf L

      But it's quality that counts...

      There will always be thousands of companies out there that will produce apps for the iPhone, while it remains viable, but if you start to annoy the top developers - the ones with the big budgets and the high quality software teams then you are left with a bunch of script-kiddies and ... yes .. flatulence apps.

      What percentage of developers make truly stunning apps? These are the ones that musn't get annoyed. If their focus starts to shift to other platforms then it will not be good to start receiving second hand apps six months after other platforms have got them, if at all.

    4. Joe Cooper
      Jobs Horns

      History repeats

      This happened with Nintendo in the early 90s.

      They were difficult with ISVs but they played ball cause they had to.

      Then the Playstation showed up and a lot of studios jumped ship as soon as they could.

      A lot of awesome games wound up on the PSX and the '64 came in distant second. It only got worse with the 'Cube and it took until the Wii in '06 to really rebound.

      That's a *full decade* as distant second.

      I doubt any of the current crop will be the ones to give Apple the kick in the rear they need, but just wait.

      1. Daniel B.
        FAIL

        I predict a double whammy

        With the current trend of Jobsism, I can predict that this attitude will lead to a never before seen scenario, something I'll call the "Atari/Nintendo crash". Everyone knows about the Videogame Crash of 1983/84, and how Nintendo got the gaming companies to flock en masse to the PSX. Jobs will bring BOTH things to Apple:

        - Pissing off the developers over idiotic stuff will not bring any friends to Apple. If they manage to piss off the big devs (the ones doing the good apps), they will leave en masse to either the Blackberry appworld, or the growing Android platform. I wish they went to Palm, but it doesn't seem to be so appealing right now. Anyway, this would be the "Playstation" effect.

        - The remaining devs will be either the Jobs fanbois, or the lazy iFart suckers that churn a lot of useless apps. These guys will saturate the AppStore such that it will reach critical mass, and people will just stop buying apps. This happened with all the Atari crap games on clearance, triggering the Crash.

        Eventually, the well will go dry, and the whole "... there's an app for that!" marketing campaign will backfire, as the "selling point" will no longer be valid. Users with lapsing contracts will switch to Android or Blackberry, and the fall of the almighty iPhone will be complete.

        Sadly, this seems to be the only way that Apple will ever understand that Jobs' attitude is hurting them.

      2. Stevie Silver badge

        Bah!

        But the quality issue was real there. I well remember the flood of cheap tat that was foisted into the marketplace by people who didn't get how the Atari market had been killed.

        Not to say that some of the officially approved games weren't underdeveloped and poorly thought out or that there weren't some good ideas in the unapproved titles, just that the "Tengen" line was decidedly less stellar than those who played ball.

    5. blackworx
      Troll

      Re: Jobs!

      Hmmm, 22 upvotes and 0 downvotes as of 0615 GMT

      One can only assume from this that the reactionary jobs-cult commentards are late risers.

      Either that or they are all still busy foofing their hair/practising an air of superiority/applying instant-run mascara.

    6. JWS
      Thumb Down

      Agreed

      Here, here. Cock.

    7. Snake Doctor
      Pint

      Jobs!

      Have read all of the above comments and really the first post sums him up quite nicely...

      A Beer for the OP

      1. Anonymous Coward
        FAIL

        That would be...

        ... "Hear hear!"

        Cock!

    8. Danny 14 Silver badge
      FAIL

      not quite the same though

      You could walk out of radio shack and go elsewhere. If you have an iphone then you have to buy from the store. If apple suddenly decide to pull the app you like then it sucks to be you really.

      This is hardly going to end well for apple. Sure in the short term they will sell but even the fanbois wont be raving about a product with no apps.

    9. wiley14
      Jobs Horns

      So?

      I've had a Windows Mobile device since the mid-2000s. How many of *those* are out there? Fact is, Apple is becoming the one thing they said they weren't ever going to become.

  6. John Lilburne

    In that case ...

    ... isn't Apple itself a trademark infringment on a more famous Apple company?

  7. Anonymous Coward
    FAIL

    Bible study app? Tens of thousands of dollars?

    "The dev, Chris Ostmo, tells 9to5Mac that he sent an email to Jobs noting that his company had spent "tens of thousands of dollars" marketing its apps and that changing the apps' names would require him "to spend to spend tens of thousands of dollars more to market new names."

    Tens of thousands of dollars marketing a bible study app?

    In this modern, less superstitious age, there are probably less than ten thousand people that believe in that crap!

    He's already wasted his money on advertising, that's for sure!

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Jobs Horns

    "in whole or in part"

    Hrm... can I try that... I claim all the vowels (plus y for good measure)... El rEg alone gives me two to go after, but thE rEgIstEr gives me a further 4... could be good money.

    Say, erm 2p per usage per page on the site?

    (Yes, yes I know you cant do things like that, but it sounds good doesnt it).

    AC cuz I'm at work.

  9. alain williams Silver badge

    Let me announce the easyPad

    I'm not sure what it will do, but I will be attacked by Stelios and Jobs, both of who assume that they own common English words.

  10. da_fish27
    FAIL

    whatever..

    Their fucking problem. They know all too well why they chose the iPhone platform, and knew the idiocy of Apple and their god.

    Don't go there in the first place.

  11. IR

    Notepad

    That is all.

  12. ArmanX
    Jobs Horns

    It's that "in part" that gets ya.

    Obviously, "Journal.APP" will have to be renamed again, because it starts with "APP", which is the first three letters of "Apple."

    Also infringing: "McIntosh apple" (the apple) for obvious reasons, "Notepad.exe" for using "pad" in the name, NASA for using a launch "pad", and we can't forget each and every keyboard manufacturer, for allowing people to type the words "iPad", "iPhone", or "Apple" without sending money to Apple.

    Probably should post this anonymous, because the iLawyers will probably iSue me... ah well.

  13. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
    Coat

    The great renaming

    Can't sell eyepads any longer, then.

    Not to mention women's pads.

    And all this due to some guy trying to pad his pockets.

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Does her own?

    Kotex pads and related products, incontinence pads or what about Thinkpad? I bet Lenevo would have something to say re Thinkpad. Will he tell them to change their name?

    1. Craigness

      Ditto

      Bill clearly owns the iPad trademark.

      "Stephen P. Jobs"

      Does the P stand for Pad?

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Wrong

      Try not to insult those of us with the common sense not to dismiss an ancient text that is repeatedly backed up by archealogical evidence.

      1. J 3
        Joke

        Oops...

        You forgot the joke icon there, AC... Here, I'll put it for you.

      2. Alex McKenna

        The Bible???

        Backed up by nothing you mean.

        There's evidence enough in the ground to prove the Bible is nothing more than the sort of stuff goat-herders knew a couple of thousand years ago.

        They knew how to herd animals and so on, I'm sure. But they thought the world started just before their grandfather was born. They liked to sacrifice things all the time...

      3. EXAFLOPS'R'US
        Happy

        Oh, and to help quantify my previous post,

        I do believe in God. I just have trouble with man-made organised structures that get setup around Him.

      4. EXAFLOPS'R'US
        Happy

        I found this to be pretty funny, on the subject of relevance

        From http://www.nakedcapitalism.com/2010/03/an-open-letter-to-dr-laura-schlesinger.html

        Time for a change of pace. This came via e-mail from Marshall Auerback:

        In her radio show, Dr. Laura Schlesinger (a popular conservative radio talk show host in the USA) said that homosexuality is an abomination according to the Bible Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following response is an open letter to Dr. Laura, and was attributed to a James M. Kauffman, Ed. D.

        _______________________

        Dear Dr. Laura:

        Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God’s Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination… end of

        debate.

        I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God’s Laws and how to follow them.

        1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighbouring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can’t I own Canadians?

        2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

        3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual unseemliness – Lev. 15: 19-24. The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offence.

        4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord – Lev. 1:9. The problem is my neighbours. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

        5. I have a neighbour who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2. clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?

        6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination – Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don’t agree. Can you settle this? Are there ‘degrees’ of abomination?

        7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?

        8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

        9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

        10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really

        necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev. 24:10-16. Couldn’t we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

        I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I am confident you can help.

        Thank you again for reminding us that God’s word is eternal and unchanging.

        Your adoring fan,

        James M. Kauffman, Ed. D.

        Professor Emeritus Dept. of Curriculum, Instruction, and Special Education

        University of Virginia

      5. Anonymous Coward
        Happy

        "Does the P stand for Pad?"

        No, it stands for 'Pendejo'

        http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Pendejo

        note: and not the Peruvian definition

        1. Gordon is not a Moron

          It's a great letter...

          that only comes 10 years after it was done on the West Wing, almost word for word in some places

          http://www.tv.com/the-west-wing/the-midterms/episode/3388/trivia.html?tag=cast_summary;trivia#quotes

          1. Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
            Joke

            'Ark the (triumph) herald angels sing

            Really, I didn't know turkey was allowing people to explore Mt Ararat, when did they find the remains of the ark?

            or for that matter, Adam & Eve's Plymouth Fury: " God drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden of Eden in a Fury"

            Have they identified if Moses and Joshua had cars or motorbikes? "The roar of Moses' Triumph is heard in the hills" and "Joshua's Triumph was heard throughout the city".

            The Apostles seem to have done their bit to save the enviorement and car polled however cramped it may have been for them "The Apostles were in one Accord."

            No doubt they used it to get an ice-cream from the Walls of Jericho.

        2. blackworx
          Pint

          @EXAFLOPS'R'US, Gordon is Not a Moron.

          http://www.snopes.com/politics/religion/drlaura.asp

          PS: GiNaM - cool name, takes me back. Still remember the jukebox number for that track in my old local - 3106.

      6. heyrick Silver badge

        "backed up by archealogical evidence"

        ...while neatly sidestepping the archealogical evidence showing that Darwin was on a much better track than "God made us, end of".

        Don't try to bring any form of science into religious discussion, that's Epic Fail territory.

        1. Atli
          Joke

          @heyrick

          Amen!

      7. Anonymous Coward
        Megaphone

        Evidence

        "Try not to insult those of us with the common sense not to dismiss an ancient text that is repeatedly backed up by archealogical evidence."

        Hahahaha. Hahahaha. Hahahahah. Hahahaha. Hahahaha (x 1million).

        There is more evidence of Odin.

    3. fred #257
      Pint

      Ohmigawd

      I'd better watch out, I've got THREE Thinkpads. And the oldest one is an i1200 - **i**1200, geddit?

      Come to that, 'Thinkpad' has an 'i' in it too, in fact it contains the word 'ipad'! What phrase did his Jobsiness use, 'in whole or in part'? Does this mean Lenovo OWNS Apple's ass?

    4. Radelix

      Yes but..

      There is that non-compete agreement. one apple wont make computers/consumer electronics. the other shall not open a music studio.

      P.S. please ignore my clumsy pressing of enter above.

    5. Fred Flintstone Gold badge
      Coat

      Too short

      I mean, I applaud the concept (Stelios was also my first thought when I read the article), but I think it needs more, umm, padding? *cough*

      I've almost arrived at a point where I'd set up a website listing all the non-Apple iPads, just to piss off Jobs. I know it's childish, but that (a) has never stopped me (grin) and (b) is a reaction to the way Jobs behaves.

      I use Apple kit because it happens to work for me, but there is no chance in hell I'll ever become a zealot and appreciate this sort of control freakery. As a matter of fact, it does the opposite. Every time he does stupid stuff like this I end up evaluating if I really want to be associated with the turtle neck equivalent of Scientology.

      Mine's the one with the lawsuits, thanks.

    6. Fred Flintstone Gold badge
      Jobs Horns

      Oh, yes please

      I would really love to be a fly on the wall in Jobs' office when some women's pad supplier calls them iPads.

      Time for a new edit of Downfall on Youtube? :-)

    7. David Haworth 1
      Boffin

      Re "in whole or in part"

      Mr. Jobs appears to demand that developers use one of their trademarks "in part". APP is part of APPLE after all

    8. David Haworth 1

      Re: Incontinence pads

      Perhaps that's what the "i" in "iPad" stands for.

      1. umacf24
        Thumb Up

        Oooh, yes, you could call your site

        "Buy your iPad here"

        And have links.

    9. Ivan Headache

      which

      more famous company would that be then?

      1. hplasm Silver badge
        Happy

        Er,

        Apricot?

    10. Ed Blackshaw Silver badge

      Sounds like a good name

      for an incontinence product

    11. Anonymous Coward
      Jobs Horns

      America - land of the free [of thought]

      I suspect any US city with more than 11000 people has > 10,000 Christians in it.

      Despite their Saviour's poverty and ideas that rich men cant get into heaven, wealth flies around American Christian groups (as long as they dont let too many minorities join their churches).

      There is, I suspect, an almost bottomless market for fleecing those who are inclined to belive in non-existent things. I just hate myself for not knowing how to properly take advantage of them. Unlike the developer of the Bible Study [cr]APP.

  15. Frank 6

    CEO of the decade?

    more like arse-hole of the decade.

  16. Will Godfrey Silver badge
    Badgers

    In other news

    Dogs have been seen looking very frightened, walking with a strange sliding gait and not running at all. It is thought they are afraid His Aloofness will notice they have paw pads.

  17. Anonymous Coward
    FAIL

    Jobs is a loser

    I don't care how many iPhones are out there. I'd never write an application for any platform with the knowledge that the company behind it gets to decide whether or not it ever becomes available to the end users. That's just idiocy. I'd give away a Blackberry app for free before I'd try to make a prophet off the iPhone. Apple's ridiculous stance on allowing apps onto the platform is ludicrous. Frankly, speaking as a developer, it pisses me off and I'm not alone. If Apple would just let people sell their apps as they wished they'd have a lot more developers willing to work with them.

    And because someone's bound the make the accusation, this isn't sour grapes. I haven't and won't ever submit an app for the approval of a power mad company like Apple.

  18. thomas k.
    Coat

    dismissive missive?

    That's unneccesarily redundant, innit? I suggest using the simpler "dis-missive" to describe Mr. Jobs' pronouncements henceforth.

  19. Spanners Silver badge
    Go

    Americans can no longer use mouse pads

    They will have to use mouse mats like everyone else who hasn't realised they have optical mice!

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Joke

      Re: Jobs is a loser

      >I'd give away a Blackberry app for free before I'd try to make a prophet off the iPhone.

      Nice one - Jobs is allegedly a Profit of the Lord, after all. ;-)

    2. It'sa Mea... Mario
      Thumb Up

      great minds...

      Had exact same thought while reading article...

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Thumb Down

      Balls

      Mousemats are still useful for those with woodgrained desks, which seem to confuse optical mice very muchly.

  20. Alex McKenna

    Can Justified Arrogance go too far?

    As much as I LOATHE bible types and their disturbing stupidity, even I cannot ignore this rather worrying clue that Apple is in danger of becoming the reverse of its former self.

    You know, the free-thinking, freedom loving, alternative type of outfit. (A silly idea of course, when the firm is worth more than Wallmart :-) but we all have to live in our dreams. Reality being so tawdry.)

    It's almost like the local hippy vegetarian bookshop suddenly running up a Swastika flag on Hitler's birthday and they all started wearing Burkas.

    It won't stop me getting my iPad though when it makes it to London. I just hope Steve recovers from his (temporary) bout of ill-tempered paranoia. We all have bad days.

    1. JohnG

      "... the free-thinking, freedom loving, alternative type of outfit..."

      Are you having a laugh? The last time Apple was into freedom was when they were selling the Apple II. Ever since the Macintosh, they wanted to control every aspect - hardware, O/S and applications.

    2. Fred Flintstone Gold badge
      Joke

      A free-thinking, freedom loving, alternative type of outfit?

      Dear Alex,

      Apple "a free-thinking, freedom loving, alternative type of outfit"?

      What exactly have you been smoking lately? Worth avoiding, methinks.

      It isn't exactly with a small degree of irony that Apple's departure from that model was in 1984 (the launch of the original Macintosh), Orwell must have been killing himself with laughter if he hadn't been dead for 34 years already.

      We are not talking about "having a bad BOUT" - it's a personality deficiency that seems to have gotten worse over the 26 years since it emerged. I'm perfectly OK with Apple trying to contain information about new products, but to exercise control over what is said and what is done with the product is IMHO going well beyond delusional paranoia..

      Anyway, I'm sure you've made the marketing department's day with that comment. I bet they're still laughing.

      Joke alert, because you probably forgot.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Pint

      it is you who is the genius, sir

      "but we all have to live in our dreams. Reality being so tawdry."

    4. blackworx
      Pint

      Hitler's Birthday

      "It's almost like the local hippy vegetarian bookshop suddenly running up a Swastika flag on Hitler's birthday"

      That made me lol smiley face. Will have to remember that one.

  21. J 3
    Coat

    Er...

    Cu Medical Systems, really? That escaped me in the first article...

    Don't google (oops) for Cu in Portuguese, unless you want to see quite a bunch of very NSFW stuff...

  22. Mike Powers
    Flame

    Must just be people named Steve...

    I've had some run-ins with boardgame developers named Steve, where they just all of a sudden went to Crazy Land on me. Same with a couple of people at former work assignments.

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Troll

    Time to talk to the WINE guy

    about the iphone api and android....

  24. chort
    Alert

    "Pad" isn't the problem; 'L' looks like 'I'

    Lower-case 'L' looks too much like an upper-case 'I', which would make JournaLPad be JournaiPad, that's what they're objecting to. Whether that's a valid trademark complaint... we'll, I find that a bit tough to believe, but it's not like any app with "pad" in it will need to be renamed.

    I search of iTunes for apps with the word "pad" turned up roughly 230, most of which have "pad" in their name. If they tried to get 230 app developers to change the name of their app, it would be a much bigger story.

    1. Ken Hagan Gold badge

      Why the troll icon?

      That's a perfectly reasonable suggestion. One of the reasons why WINE is such an effort is that Windows apps make extensive use of a sprawling and poorly documented API, and many have significant dependencies on undocumented details. Since Apple *insist* that you stick to documented behaviour, and since the OS is deliberately limited in the features that it offers even through that API, it should be a piece of piss to produce an emulator.

      Of course, whether Google *want* Android to have 100,000 fart apps on launch day is another matter, but they might be interested in picking up all the developers who wrote iPhone apps only to see them barred because Steve got out of bed the wrong side that morning.

    2. Richard 120
      FAIL

      Change Font

      Not that big of a deal

      RA

  25. Watashi

    Jumping the shark

    Steve Jobs thinks he's the Fonz - and he's just water skied over that nasty shark, iPad in hand.

  26. Big-nosed Pengie
    Jobs Horns

    Boo hoo

    Has he heard of the saying "Who sups with the Devil must use a long spoon"?

    If you get into bed with Cupertino or Redmond, make sure you've got the Large Family-size drum of your favourite lubricant.

    1. Havin_it
      WTF?

      Eh...

      I've never seen lubricant sold or advertised in "family-size" drums. Can I ask where you shop?

  27. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    So...

    1. Get Android working well on the HP Slate (shouldn't be a problem).

    2. Write application for Android

    3. Profit

  28. Dave Barnhart

    Then I guess we can't use 'App' either

    If we can't use Apple's trademarks 'in part' then I guess we can't use 'App' since it is a part of 'Apple'

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      or the letter e

      or a, or p, or l

    2. Mart 2
      Megaphone

      and god forbid

      anyone who tries to market 'fresh apples'

      look out ASDA, TESCO et al, Steve Jobs is coming for you....

      i was going to upgrade to the new iPhone in the summer but Mr Jobs acting like a douche makes me consider androids

  29. Robert Carnegie Silver badge

    Here's what Mr Jobs just earned from me

    I hereby resolve, the next time I decide to buy any Apple personal computer or computing device or phone or media player for my own use, I will defer the purchase for one calendar month because of what I just read.

    By way of full disclosure, I was not particularly likely to buy any of his stuff ever, but that event just got put back another thirty days.

    I do reserve the right to suspend this decision if the story turns out to be untrue, but c'mon, it sounds like him.

  30. RW
    Coat

    What worries me....

    What about the pad thai (Thai: ผัดไทย) at my favorite Thai restaurant?

    Do I need a note from Jobsie to order it?

  31. heyrick Silver badge
    Happy

    "pad", huh?

    Otherwise known, to some in the nursing profession, as an incontinence nappy/diaper.

    [amusingly, the big flat washable ones are called "kylies", I wonder if Ms. Minogue knows?]

  32. Anonymous Coward
    WTF?

    solution

    To reduce rejection, crApple should offer pre development approval of name and concept. Also any automated checking toos used in the approval process should be made available to devs.

    1. Fred Flintstone Gold badge
      Coat

      No, but ..

      .. I know where you could put the dynamite chillies you may find in other dishes.

      I rather like the idea that the Thai don't think those things are hot enough so they go and roast them. That's the perfect additive to the family size drum of lubricant suggested in an earlier comment..

      Mine's the one with the wet wipes..

  33. seacook
    Thumb Down

    ...hmmm

    http://www.theregister.co.uk/Design/graphics/icons/comment/thumb_down_32.png I thought that the small i prefix on iPad stood for idiot. Am I missing something?

  34. sleepy

    Sadly for us commoners, that's how it is.

    Instead of complaining about reasonable control over product naming in a single store for a device that's been on the market less than a month, complain about the glaring absence of an equally functional market place for one-man developers for platforms anything up to 20 years old: MS Windows, Blackberry, Nokia, Linux, Mac, Xbox. It's blindingly obvious that Apple's paranoia level on the App store is just about perfect, and developers flock to it.

    The App store has been successful far beyond Apple's imaginings, and now it's criticised as though Apple was the only company with the only product anyone could buy, even though apps are a negligible part of Apple's earnings, which are in turn a tiny part of the earnings of the whole industry. Despite startling growth rate, the app store is still a seedling of a new species, needing TLC.

    I don't actually think Steve Jobs is being arrogant here. He's just micromanaging the best business decision for his company. The genius comes from seeing what others didn't see. The outrage and jealousy come from not being in place ourselves where Apple's choices work.

    Apple has 3 proprietary gadgets, iPad, iPhone, and iPod, and its own store for selling add-on content and software specifically for those gadgets. Those gadgets lie somewhere between a general purpose user programmable computer, and a fully closed proprietary gadget (eg dumb phone, central heating controller, modem, PABX). That market position (similar to games consoles) and the flexibility it gives Apple is the foundation of their current success. There can be no question that they can sell what they like or not in their App store, and in the context of that store, it's very helpful of Apple to actually cite the specific detail that put them off this app. Most store buyers won't tell you why they've rejected your product, precisely because it just triggers arguments and bad feeling.

    Of course the developer is free to call his bible app what he likes when he sells it in some other place, or for some other platform.

  35. SisterClamp
    Thumb Up

    I thought it was funny....

    ....reading Fake Steve Jobs' blog (http://bit.ly/aQq41Q), but I see you can't beat the real thing!

  36. This post has been deleted by its author

    1. Ken Hagan Gold badge

      Say what?

      "The App store has been successful far beyond Apple's imaginings"

      Really? The app store was always envisaged as the only place where you could get apps for the platform. The only way such a monopoly could fail to do well is if the hardware flopped. I rather doubt that was Apple's intention, so they must always have imagined the store would do rather well.

    2. TeeCee Gold badge
      Happy

      False idols.

      IIRC, that bit's one of the Ten Commandments.

      So that's come from God Himself (the other one) who's supposed to have a handle on absolutely Everything, Everywhere and Everywhen, according to those that believe this sort of stuff.

      Who's to say that it wasn't Apple that He had in mind when He wrote this? He's alleged to moves in mysterious ways you know and you don't get much more mysterious than warning Biblical era Hebrews about the dangers of shiny tech-toy addiction.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Joke

      "micromanaging"

      It's clearly more than his "jobs worth" for him to let this sleight to his genius and imagination pass...

      I can't believe all the comments suggesting he is actually the devil. This story must be about one of his lawyers writing on his behalf or something...

    4. TheGrapesy

      Hmm...

      "complain about the glaring absence of an equally functional market place for one-man developers for platforms anything up to 20 years old: MS Windows, Blackberry, Nokia, Linux, Mac, Xbox."

      Ignoring the operating systems (do they really need a unified marketplace? A discussion for another time, maybe), Xbox Live has an indie section on its marketplace where one-man dev teams often put up their games. Blackberry has App World (I haven't used it myself). Nokia has Ovi.

      1. chr0m4t1c

        He said "functional"

        I won't comment on the others as I haven't used them, but having used OVI for over a year now I can safely say that it's a disgrace.

        Nokia is capable of so much more, but the OVI store is a shambles.

        You can't browse the store on the web browser on your phone,you have to use the OVI application which is slow, cumbersome and un-intuative.

        If you use the store on a computer you can't download anything to install to the phone later, you have to "send a download link" to the phone.

        The download link is sent as an SMS that can take days to arrive.

        I tried to buy an application about a month ago and it took two days of trying until the credit card authorisation stopped timing out. That wouldn't be so bad, except it refused to save the card details until I had successfully made a purchase, so every time it timed out I had to enter all of the details again. On the bright side, I've now memorised all of the details for that card.

        So yes, I'd like to complain about the lack of an equally functional market place for other devices.

    5. Anonymous Coward
      Unhappy

      FanBoiMuch

      "The App store has been successful far beyond Apple's imaginings,"

      Yeah even without going into the monopoly issues I doubt it was beyond their imagination and the store is a success simply because there hardware is a success - now we could say that is because fanbois would buy a brown smelly iTurd if the iPontif demanded it but its a whole new debate.

      The App Store would never work on any other platform because even Microshite is more open. And that is saying a LOT.

  37. DeeTee
    Flame

    Did you buy your apples with clean, crisp notes?

    really ... that's the whole point ... very soon we'll be paying royalties and licencing fee while buying natural apples from the fruit stall or supermart ... I'm sure jobsie would love to have some micro control over what we eat ... how we eat ... what kind of soil it has been grown on ... and top it up with how you are supposed to pay ... white crisp notes ... with the a signed document understanding that you may well loose the note without any explanation or reason at the sole discretion of ... ahem ... apple! It's getting old and sick!

  38. JetSetJim Silver badge
    Stop

    I wonder what he'll have to say about this:

    http://wepad.mobi/en

    an iPad clone....

  39. Anonymous Coward
    Grenade

    Since

    Jobs is making you money as well, because i am sure they are selling - sometimes he who pays the piper calls the tune.

  40. pixelatedpete
    Jobs Horns

    oh dear

    I own a Mac. When I read crazy things like this I wish I didn't. Brings a whole new angle on "Jobsworth"!!

  41. Tony Rogers
    Big Brother

    Roman Empire Traits

    The mental imbalance shown by Jobs is well documented and at least traceable back to

    the very early reports of emperors and senators in Rome two thousand years ago.

    The word "Pad" is a from the English language. You are American I am told.

    Whilst his fawning followers and lawyers may bow to his childish whims, common sense

    will prevail in such cases of demented aberration.

    The market for employment will no doubt be curious as to if they will be chased away

    by offering "Jobs" available.

    So, here we are Jobs......., Pad, Apps, Apple, iPoo, et al.

    Enjoy the world and...... maybe take some time off ?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Dead Vulture

      The end for the Reg?

      >The market for employment

      My thoughts too. No more "Latest Jobs" from the Reg ---->

      It will have to be "Latest Employment Opportunities that Involve Remuneration"

      I'd like to claim the word "the", "a", and "and" for the avoidance of doubt in this "lingual landgrab".

  42. Anonymous Coward
    Jobs Horns

    Eejit

    Reminds me of Warner Brothers thinking that they owned the word 'Shire'.

    http://www.theregister.co.uk/2004/07/14/one_domain_to_rule_them_all/

    The more I hear about Apple, the less I like them.

  43. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Just another reason...

    ....never to buy overpriced trendy shiny but really pointless Apple crap ;)

  44. Stephen Usher
    Jobs Horns

    Contract law: unreasonable contract?

    You know, I'm not sure Apple can actually get away with the condition in the contract which states that they can ban an application for any reason even if it meets all the requirements spelt out in the terms and conditions, at least under UK law, where a contract has to be "reasonable."

    Maybe it requires someone with very deep pockets to challenge it in the courts?

  45. Ancient Oracle funkie
    Jobs Horns

    Possibly more worrying ...

    ... is when St Steve realises that most organisations have the audacity to employ people in what they call "jobs".

  46. Doug Glass
    Go

    What An A$$hole

    That is all; go about your business. Move along, nothing to see here.

    1. stephajn
      Thumb Down

      My thoughts exactly

      I agree with Doug Glass. In fact, as I was reading this article, his title was exactly the thought going through my head.

      A while back when iPhone OS 3.0 was coming out a friend of mine tried to convince me to get on board with it and develop an app with him. I had no interest in learning Objective C and don't even have a Mac to install their SDK on so I turned him down.

      Ever since then I've been reading more and more articles like this one about Apple's way of doing business. And I just do not understand how they can look people in the eye and say, "Yeah get on board with us. You'll have instant success! It's a great platform!"

      Not saying though that Microsoft's intentions to somewhat follow on Apple's heels with their plans for the Windows Phone 7 app store is any better...

  47. transientcylon
    Jobs Horns

    Say it with me kids!

    Mega-lo-mania!

    http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/megalomania

  48. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    Jobs to God

    Mail from Jobs to God "Please desist in using my trademark in your book re snake and tree of knowledge."

  49. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Pad is not copyrightable or tradmarkable

    Hi, reminds me of the big Home Depot / Office Depot litagation. Home Depot sued Office Depot for the use of the work Depot. The judge ruled the 'Depot' was common work allow and in the dictionary and can't be alone trademarked. Sorry Steve of Apple you don't even really own iPad either and definitely can't trademark Pad. Get real!

  50. Anonymous Coward
    Unhappy

    Pad is not copyrightable or tradmarkable

    Hi, reminds me of the big Home Depot / Office Depot litagation. Home Depot sued Office Depot for the use of the work Depot. The judge ruled the 'Depot' was common word allow and in the dictionary and can't be alone trademarked. Sorry Steve of Apple you don't even really own iPad either and definitely can't trademark Pad. Get real!

  51. Stevie Silver badge

    Bah

    I look forward to the larger brother of the iPad, the "Maxi", and the coming row it will precipitate with anticipation.

  52. Marketing Hack Silver badge
    Headmaster

    I hate it...

    when blowhards try to copyright sections of the English language. I hope Kotex or some other feminine hygiene supplier goes after Jobs over infringing on their copyright to the term "maxipad".

    By the way, in the U.S. you don't use "it's" unless you are talking about the possessive of a non-human subject. e.g. "The dog has lost it's collar" vs. "Its a nice dog"

    1. NBCanuck
      FAIL

      To Marketing Hack - "IT'S"

      Uh..I think you have that backwards. "It's" is a contraction of "It is". So used as a contraction "it's"- "It's a nice day" or as a possessive is "its" - "the dog broke its leash.

      Can't we just all agree to start a new language and leave all of the alternate spelling behind? Of course, that would only work if we spoke as we wrote and stayed away from slang. Right....will never happen.

    2. Chris Parsons

      Its...it's

      Then I suggest, as a nation, you buy a copy of Fowler's English Usage and learn how to do it properly.

  53. CodeWright
    Stop

    Starfleet would disagree

    Long ago, the writers of "Star Trek" (the original series, not these newfangled extensions or "reboots") designed a prop that was supposed to be a personal handheld computer input and display device. They named this device a "Personal Access Display Device", or PADD (pronounced "pad") for short.

    The current feature set for notepad-sized computer/input/display systems (like the iPad and it's brethern) seems to have mirrored the Star Trek PADD: wireless network connectivity, notepad-sized display, cursive input, portable, multifunction, independantly programmable, etc.

    A good case could be made for the idea that Steve Jobs (or the Apple marketing team) "borrowed" the name *Pad from Star Trek.

    Sorry, Steve, but it looks like you borrowed "prior art".

  54. John Savard Silver badge

    Names

    Well, I guess Microsoft won't be porting Notepad to the iPad any time soon.

  55. Peter Johnstone
    Joke

    Aw cr*p

    Scrapping plans for my 'Notepad for iPad' app. Don't want to have Redmond and Cupertino lawyers over my ass!

  56. Anonymous Coward
    Joke

    Trying to claim ownership of words?

    There's an app for that.

  57. Charlie van Becelaere
    Alien

    Need a translation

    Perhaps amanfrommars can help parse out what Herr Jobs was trying to say?

  58. Jim Marshall
    Megaphone

    Dear Mr. Jobs:

    Quit being a jerk to developers. Scratch that, quit being a jerk. You need them more than they need you, they can always write for Windows or the current *nix flavor of the moment.

    Regards,

    A Former Mac user

  59. pctechxp
    Coat

    Alternetive names

    FatPad, ObeseiPhone?

  60. Anonymous Coward
    Boffin

    Jobs also claims to own the letter "i"

    So pay up, boys!

  61. unhandled_exception

    Give me a break

    Yeah sure Steve is a dicator and he was typing faster than thinking when he answered that email but, come on, 120 comments on this piece of "news"! Looks like we are all paying attention to smell when the Emperor farts...

  62. Lockwood
    Jobs Horns

    Hmm

    Apple's trademark guidelines prevent the use of Apple-owned terms "in whole or in part"

    I(TM) think that that's agoing to be a problem. Anyone got a note pad(TM) so I(TM) can ask my Pa(TM) for help?

    Also, I(TM) saw a great ad(TM) for IPA(TM).

  63. dr_forrester
    Go

    What t means...

    "although exactly what "in part" might mean is mind-numbingly amorphous"

    Apparently, t means we're not allowed to use the letter 'i' anymore. t will be removed, per Apple demand, from the ASC charts next year.

  64. iOrange

    Isnt APP part of the word Apple?

    Isnt every App in violation of trademark infringement based on Job's stupid logic?

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