back to article Gulag awaits Russian Olympic trainers

Those of you who like your Russia strictly old school will be delighted to learn that president Dmitry Medvedev has suggested that those responsible for the country's lamentable performance at the Vancouver Winter Olympics would be well advised to clear their desks. Russia clocked up three golds, five silvers and seven bronzes …

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  1. Deadly_NZ
    Gates Horns

    You Fools!!!!

    3 golds???? Now who won and who failed?? the losers to the Gulag Coaches and support staff to be Shot .. Now the gold medalists where are they ?? what is this they defected to the west ?? Now the capitaliast dogs will think they are invincible. Now how to get a Dacha built in Argentina

    Well is one scenario I KNOW I would not want to go back and 'Explain'

    1. Steve Roper
      Alien

      Erm...

      Are you amanfromMars' apprentice or something?

  2. NogginTheNog
    WTF?

    Blame game(s)

    So it's all the coaches' fault, not the people actually doing the competing, is it?

    1. Brett

      blame culture prevails

      err.. YES

  3. Evil Auditor Silver badge
    WTF?

    "a systemic failure"

    Did they run short of doping?

  4. Chris Miller

    Calm down, dear

    It's only a game - the clue is in the title.

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Terminator

    It's 'funny' cos...

    ...I heard some people joking a couple of nights ago about how they would not want to be an athlete, coach, judge, drug tester etc in the Russian games as they 'may have difficulties' if they do not have Russian athletes guaranteed to win every event.

    They were joking how the Russians would have ultrasonic weapons to take out opponent athletes. Vary the oxygen levels in the stadium when the Russians are in action, or when they are not. Bribe or threaten every judge or tester. Every trick in the book and plenty more. Anyway, I thought it was all daft joking and then IMMEDIATELY they start threatening the coaches and implicitly, the athletes! Amazing.

    It is sad that national identity has come to this. People should not care that much about sport. 'It is just a game'. Sometimes good to watch, and sometimes nice to have your favourites win, but it really is not *important* at all. The world has bigger issues. Sport is ENTERTAINMENT. Just a distraction.

    It is ironic to the point of paradox that the need for success in pointless little games will result in abuses of human rights of those involved! One has to laugh, but really this joke is not funny.

    Canada did well and I am sure v few threats (relatively speaking) were used to achieve the result. It would be nice for everyone if Russia could attempt to achieve their own success in a genuinely laid back manner.

    I must admit, I have tried to be moderate in this post as I am shit scared of reprisals just for mentioning overhearing other people joking and suggesting amateur sport at any level should not cost people too dearly. So I'll leave it right there! Lol. - That is a nervous (downright scared) Lol BTW.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    So, business as usual.

    True to form, the Gold Medallists will get bigger apartments and the rest will never be heard from again.

    Mine is the one with the salt proofing installed.

  7. Reading Your E-mail
    FAIL

    Typical

    "People should not care that much about sport. 'It is just a game'."

    That's why we only got one medal. Sport has progressed to the point that it is a full time career, just like all other walks of life. Those that take it seriously get the Gold, those that don't won't even get on the plane to Canada. Competition is the corner stone of any species, it's just a shame we've forgotten that and now nurture the couch potato and teach kids that being a loser is ok.

    So sad, but not surprising.

  8. JeffyPooh Silver badge
    Happy

    Total medals vs. Gold medals vs. weighted average

    Assume: Gold 5 pts, Silver 2 pts, Bronze 1pt.

    Do the math.

  9. Ian Emery Silver badge
    Terminator

    It could be worse.

    I remember an African Dictator having his piss-poor Olympic team lined up and shot when their aircraft landed back home.

    1. Sceptic Tank

      Africa

      That sounds about right for Africa. I vaguely remember a story of another dictator / el presidente that made his football team do military service after their return from a dismal world cup.

  10. An nonymous Cowerd
    Coat

    points mean..

    ...prizes!

    The Русский Федерация was offering 100,000 euros for a Gold, AND "a 4 x 4 car"

    Silver medal was many euros, and no car - not TWO ladas as some wags might have it!

    I owned a Жигули once.......honest

  11. Rick Brasche
    FAIL

    remember the Olympics is not about 'sports"

    it was developed as a replacement for combat between nations. A peaceful outlet for jingoism and national pride and "my guy is better than your guy" and all that.

    it is *not* for political correctness, or 'everyone should be cheered equally' and 'there are no losers' nonsense. it's war without the destruction and bloodshed, reduced to a small team of trained representatives and all the shouting and posturing and poseuring and pissing of the "real thing".

    Shame on those trying to ignore the history and purpose of the Olympics and denying the safe pressure outlet for societies' "primitive" (I say "human") needs for domination and chest beating. If the alternative is actual warfare, whether economic or military or environmental, I'll take the Games any day.

    Because suppressing the "incorrect" aspects of human nature denies the truth of humanity and ALWAYS leads to greater evils.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      So...

      ...you are saying it is obsolete!

      It evidently does not prevent wars and it encourages chest beating and nationalistic pride of levels that increase dislike for other countries.

      Would this discussion exist if Russians were not already feeling envy towards other nations and a determination to get revenge next time.

      Besides, the entire geopolitical system is just carving up the world for the profit of those that own or run their portion. This division is then used to make the primitives generate profit by fighting each other one way or another, whether it is literally, allegorically or metaphorically. So how is the Olympics not just using division to generate cash for those that have been granted the right to administrate it.

      I am all for fun and honour. That is what AMATEUR sport is about. But bring in the cash and spin it as an international battle of ideology and the fun - AND the honour - goes out of it pretty quickly. The real success of the Canadian games was the fact that whilst it was not perfect, no-one cared. Well, the two countries that are hosting the next Olympics cared as they sought to degrade the Cad effort so their own looks better when their own time comes.

  12. Marketing Hack Silver badge

    huh?

    Rick Brasche--did you write the movie "Rollerball"? Basically, countries "raz eachother" on who has the best food, music, prettiest girls, handsomest men, who dresses best, nicest weather, best museums, longest history, etc... Its not just about sports.

    Regarding tormenting athletes--remember those confirmed stories about Saddam Hussein's sons torturing failing Iraqi athletes when they returned home from defeat? Nice guy, that Saddam....

    1. Charley 1

      And not only that

      But during WW1 German soldiers raped nuns and ate babies, according to what my old Granny was told.

  13. Francis Offord
    Gates Horns

    So, what is different?

    Whatever anyone says you have to admit that the stark choice makes for a realistic incentive to do well. We should adopt the same policy. Only problem being no nasty Gulag but as a horror image you could sentence backsliders to listen to parliamentary debates for three days every week and write dissertations on them for posterity.

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