back to article UK moob jobs rocket 80 per cent

The British Association of Aesthetic Plastic Surgeons (or BAAPS, phnar, phnar) has reported a massive rise in gynaecomastia ops last year, as lardy chaps moved to reduce their swelling moobs. The total number of men going under BAAPS members' knives for a breast reduction in 2009 was 581, meaning the procedure is now the third …

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  1. Chris Miller
    WTF?

    What sort of bloke

    Looking in mirror "hmm, getting a bit tubby - I have three options":

    a] cut down on the beer and curries

    b] take a bit more exercise

    c] undergo an expensive, painful and potentially disfiguring operation

    decides on [c]?

    1. Elmer Phud

      no mates?

      So, after the lazy gits have had thier chesticles reduced how do they explain it to thier mates in the pub or regulars in the queue at the kebab shop?

      "You look different today, is it the hair?"

      Or more likely "Oi! Where's yer tits gone?"

      Yup - wtf?

  2. This post has been deleted by a moderator

    1. skeptical i

      And yet this "namby pamby coiffy woffy" behaviour is acceptable for females?

      Gander, meet goose. Goose, gander. I'll leave you two to discuss which asinine behaviours are assigned to which segments of society and why. Ta.

  3. The BigYin

    The Big Yin's Moob-be-gone 3 step program

    1) Stop eating fast-food shit, start eating more veg

    2) Stop drinking beer, enjoy up to 4 glasses of quality wine a week

    3) Take some friggin' exercise you fat berk

    With this simple regime, you too could be moob free in 1 month. You also get fringe benefits!

    1) Decreased illness due to the intake of more vitamins etc

    2) Increased lifespan as liver returns to something resembling normal

    3) More money in your wallet

    4) Less chance of death or disfigurement, no surgery required!

    Yes indeed, join The Big Yin's Moob-be-gone program now an say good-bye to inappropriate fun-bag blues.

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Go

    Spot on Chris W!

    I bet a very high percentage of moob jobs are done on the "merry men" Any straight bloke would just get a good bra!

  5. Vladimir Plouzhnikov

    Morons

    Just 5 (five) minutes of exercise (push ups) per day every day is enough to solve that "problem". Try 10 minutes per day and in a couple of years everyone will be tired of you showing off your great pecs at every opportunity...

  6. lukewarmdog
    Badgers

    lister01

    How many male boob jobs went the other way? There's a healthy transgender culture as well as those people who don't care what society thinks, the convenience factor of having your own boobs far outweighs the pointing and staring you might get down the pub. I await the Playmobil presentation with bated breath, popcorn and bottled lager.

  7. fifi

    phnar?

    I thought it was spelt fnaar. Consider me informed.

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    wtf?

    they told me the surgery was to get my moobs enlarged.

    .... looks like I've got some phone calls to make.

  9. The Indomitable Gall

    What a great idea!

    I don't shave often enough, I spend months between haircuts. It's all too much effort, but now I realise that I can get "positive results" from having my nose broken and reset -- all my problems are solved!!!

    In all seriousness, saying anything positive about cosmetic surgery (ie non-reconstructive plastic surgery) is effectively talking up dysmorphia, which is a clinically recognised mental disorder.

    Anyone who visits the cosmetic surgeon should be considered dysmorphic, and as such incompetent to give consent. And if a surgeon operates on someone incompetent to give consent, he must be struck off.

    Yes, all cosmetic surgeons should be struck off.

  10. Sam Tana
    Paris Hilton

    An alternative....

    Just accept that as you get older, so you're more likely to put on weight. The so-called "moobs" are, therefore, badges of seniority and experience - like grey hair and wrinkles. Yes, you could waste your life desperately trying to hold back time like some enormously vain King Canut, or you could give them a cheeky jiggle and realise that now you've got something else to play with during the long, cold nights ahead.

    Paris - because she'd kill to have my man-bust.

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    @Chris Miller

    You're forgetting that option [c] means not cutting down on curries and beer or having to do exercise.. and when you remember that increasing waistlines are often the result of complete and utter laziness, I'm guessing be the majority of men in that condition that actually care what they look like (admittedly a very small number) will go for it.

  12. E 2
    WTF?

    De-obscured terminology

    Male tit reduction

    Reduction of fat bloating around base of penis

    Penis extension

    How about clear English, Lester? The Reg Lexicographic Army must be getting restless.

  13. Equitas
    Paris Hilton

    Equality

    Surely equality demands that the number of moob jobs done should equal the number of boob jobs done? :-)

  14. niya blake

    Ummm

    have any of you looked up gynaecomastia . Its not due being fat .

    Oh and Lukewarm do I've never heard of transgender person wanting boobs calling them self a man

  15. Naughtyhorse
    FAIL

    hmmm

    thisoplasty thatoplasy it's almost like they were real doctors (BAAPS kinda gives it away tho)

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