...Barbie the witch instead.
We take all the Barbies and burn then, oh and the Bratz things as well...
Our friends at insideHPC pushed this story recently, but there hasn’t been an accompanying groundswell of buzz, so I’m bringing it to The Register’s audience in an attempt to get the ball rolling. Mattel, purveyor of the iconic Barbie doll, is running a contest to decide Barbie’s next career. She has quite a wide range of …
...such as desktop or network support/admin, she would undoubtedly need:
Shabby clothes - you aren't going to crawl under desks and into risers in a nice dress.
Multitool - Leatherman-esque knife/pliers combo for cutting through cabling rats nests.
A utilitarian handbag with a cheap mobile phone, make up compact, can of deoderant and a pack fo alka-seltzer, for when [and the morning after] comprehensively outdrinking the men in the team. Which seems to be a common theme with the lasses I have worked with.
Also, a box full of motherboards, hard drives, SCSI cards and GPUs, for her houseshare in south London where she annoys her flatmates by trying to get esoteric old hardware to work properly.
And a large stock of absinthe.
There again, mebbe that's just the lasses I have worked with. And loved working with, frankly.
Anon though, as I don't want a slap from them - as despite all the above, they are still nice fluffy girls at heart.
"such as desktop or network support/admin, "
That would make her a technician, not an engineer.
The engineer is the person who designed the system in such a way that the technician needs 6 different Torx screwdrivers and a non-standard wrench in order to change the hard drive.
Hmm, nearly typed non-standartd /wench/ there. That would be Barbie...
...used to run-the-bitches-over with me Tonka trucks! Wa-ha-haha! Think I also got Ken to be their pimp once too, oh how we laughed!
Back on topic, Well seeing as Barbie is all like fashionable and stuff, they'd probably give her a magic pink iPad rather then anything that's any use for her job.
They could have made a small fortune selling lenses, upgrading the bodies every year ... They could have done a Nikon and asked $8,000 for a new model. For those who like the retro feel, they could have sold, darkroom Barbie, complete with chemical stains on her hands and an instant response of hands flying to her face when coming out in to the sunlight.
... or are they too scared that the combination of Barbie, Ken and the little red light might be a little too much for young minds?
I don't think she'd need many accessories really, after all she'd be promoted to PM pretty damned quick and just have to tell us engineers what we should be doing on a daily basis instead.
I think she needs a diploma from some crappy management school, a copy of the contractual SLA's and budgetary control. Possibly a copy of "PCs for Dummies" so she can understand all the technical language that real engineers sling around?
Oh yeah, perhaps some carpet burns from the promotional process too.
She can have a whole wardrobe full of heavy metal / geek / just plain rude Tee shirts, mountain boots, thirty or forty pairs of jeans (of which she only wears her 'favourite' pair), oh and a single dress for when she visits her Mum.
Her dressing table can be fitted out with sample beers from all over the world, and single speed CD drives and 32MB HDDs, various Linux distro CDs, three boxes of A4 micro-perf fan fold printer paper, 170 to 200 kilos of various technical manuals for such exciting things as Apollo Domain Unix installation complete with 57 5 1/4 inch floppy disks, Borland C (Brand New, Try it today!!!) George, The Operating System. A single lipstick (the one she bought the day after she left school) currently lying under one of the boxes of fan fold paper.
She can have an anorak for the winter and a thick leather coat for the summer.
See so much and I haven't even started on her real home (her cubical) yet.
Ken should be her manager, with pointy hair. She hates him.
If you drop out the girly stuff, it's disturbingly like my dressing table. Fan-fold, check. HDDs are 40/60Mb. CDs, iomegas, blah blah. Linux distro? Minix3-yeah! TurboPascal 5.5 full set (well, hey, a quid from a charity shop!). You forgot the 386 motherboards, four different types of memory (remember the old 30-pin SIMMs?) and various bits that once belonged inside a BBC Micro...
Seriously, Best idea ever! Accessories should include, little tins of cat food, soiled baggy clothing, over-flowing litter trays and as a special bonus, Ken in a new role as "Community psychiatric nurse" to check on Barbie to make sure shes not laying dead on the kitchen floor, surrounded by very hungry cats.
I voted computer engineer, but I only voted at all because I know that if it comes out, Moss and Roy will get their hands on one. I have no idea what they'll do with it, but it ought to be hilarious.
In fact, it probably doesn't matter -- now that the suggestion's out there, it'll probably find its way into the series whether or not it actually exists.
(Almost) every "Computer Engineer Barbie" will either very quickly move to another department (IT management or something "audity") or leave and start having babies, then be too far "out of it" to return when the short ones are big enough to be left alone so they'll go into teaching or something else instead.
Sigh... whatever she wears she'll need to have a change of clothes, IT is rarely a career.
As one of the few people here who can say I've collected Barbies ans well as computers, I really want to see this. "My first one came home as a monitor toy" Not really bought into Barbies much in the last several years, but I love odd, non standard Barbies. From Morticia Adams Barbie, to Star Trek Barbie, to Gay "Earring magic" Ken. I'll be the first to go out and buy one. And if they don't give her a PINK laptop I know a few other women who will too.
The Bratz people have pretty much sewn up the "Teenage Skank" doll market, Mattel hates to admit it but it lost most of the kid market to them and now does its best in dolls that sell to adult collectors.
....Surgeon. Just think of the sales of operating theatre equipment, blood soaked gowns and, when the string is pulled, cries of "scalpel....suction"..and of course there is always the possibility of the operation going wrong which leads to 'Litigation Barbie' jeez, the possibilities are endless
Engineers don't BUY clothing, we go to sponsored events and get free t-shirts.
Yes, you could sell me a Barbie with her own PDA and Bluetooth Headset. So long as I get matching HP/Microsoft/Dell shirts to go with it. In fact, everything she carries should have some sort of corporate stamp. From the CW backpack to the MS CD carrier (holding a stack of Debian distros).
Twenty or thirty years ago there were such people. These days you've got the techs who keep a company's computers and networks running. The developers themselves look like ordinary (for us) people, male and female.
BTW -- I have it on good authority that being over endowed in the bust is a serious nuisance if you want to get anything done. (If you've got nobody to ask then check out the episode of the Simpsons a year or so back when Marge accidentally gets augmented.)
Good lord! You've figured out a way to make Sun profitable.....oh, too late...
Just think, she has an Purple SGI box, and blue Juniper firewall, and a F-5 BigIP with the bright red logo... hell, maybe more hotties will want to be in I.T. if they think Barbie can do it too.
On the other hand, some of us ********* already have the modded Barbie Joystick w/ pierced nipples (added) and other piercings (added to added anotomical features)
The small accessories are OK, but what about the big stuff: the Barbie Data Centre... rows of tall, thin 19" racks, with lots of opportunities for product placement (aww, cute, it's got a tiny CISCO logo...), AC units, UPS... Also fits with the Barbie Secure Data Centre - add the credit card logos on the payment processing kit (note: Ken's Guard Desk (with entry log book and CCTV monitors) sold separately).
The data center in a box makes a perfect Barbie add-on accessory. The trailer that unfolds into the Google style stackable data center. Plug the USB cable in, and it can be used as a USB hub. Make 'em pink, throw some corporate logos on it, logos that could be paid for in a licensing deal, and Mattel will make out with this.
Ken dolls, with tented pants ("you're REALLY pretty, Barbie! Would you like to go out to lunch with us?") and lab coats...
I think Computer Engineer Barbie is going to need:
No dress sense
Thick NHS glasses
Wallet full of CDs
Lord of the Rings action figures on her desk
Strange musty smell
As well as the usual computer accessories:
piece of old pizza down behind the screen
Empty drinks cans
Signed photo of Leonard Nimmoy
Why on earth do you Brits think a computer engineer is someone who spends their days mucking about with wires and providing tech support to lusers? Here in the states, computer engineering includes disciplines such as: digital circuits; embedded systems; computer architecture; distributed systems; networking; and DSP. CE Barbie obviously spends her days in a cubicle covered with Matrix and LoTR posters, squinting at tiny font, diagrams, and possibly wave forms.
In her cube, she needs to have a stuffed Tux, some old dilbert books, xkcd comics, dual-head monitor, and a giant coffee mug. As fashion accessories, she should come with removable carpal tunnel support gloves, a carabiner filled with keys, bottle opener, mini leatherman, etc., an android phone, and little or no social life.
Hmm, on second thought, it'd be nice to get more women entering this field. Maybe honesty isn't the best policy.
Thanks Hungry Sean. I'm a computer engineer and work on embedded systems, C programming, VHDL code for FPGAs. I have yet to meet a computer engineer that has anything to do with IT techie nonsense (unless they're working on their own computers at home). I'm the one usually calling the IT department to fix my Windows problems so I can focus on more important problems to my job description such as, why does this board not work?!?! Why won't my code compile?!?! Why are my waveforms delayed a clock cycle?!?! The SPI on my DAC is not responding?!?!
I like the idea of computer engineer barbie! I am a young single woman and a computer engineer so of course I like the idea. I kind of like the barbie but she needs a cup of coffee and a purse with way too much stuff in it. she also could use an iPod unless of course she is streaming music via her bluetooth headset from her smartphone.
I think she needs to lose the blazer and get a cute casual sweater. Oh yeah! Don't forget her all important ESD wrist strap!!! LOL! Get her a pink one! We can't have her zapping all of her Altera development hardware!!
She also needs her badge! Where is her badge! How will she get into the building where she works? Get her a cute pink lanyard for her badge, or like me - a super cool retractable badge clip! I like the badge clip better so I don't choke myself dashing from one lab bench to the other.
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