back to article Greenock pensioners cuffed for Tesco 'sex romp'

Two Greenock pensioners prompted the closure of a Tesco bakery aisle and police intervention after "stunned shoppers" clocked the pair indulging in a "sex romp", the Sun reports. Fay Byrne, 62, and chum Peter Echlin, 78, were arrested for alleged public indecency after "horrified store bosses alerted cops". A Tesco source …

COMMENTS

This topic is closed for new posts.
  1. Efros
    Paris Hilton

    Give em both a medal

    Especially her for initiating it all!

    Paris for fairly obvious reasons.

  2. Liam Johnson

    tut tut

    Another wardrobe defect.

  3. Tony S
    Alert

    Staff announcement...

    ...Cleaner required in aisle 2!

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Thumb Up

      Ahem

      You owe me a new keyboard.

    2. Niall 1

      Staff announcement...

      Fluffer you are now required in aisle 3!

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    I don't know if it'll go to court.

    But if it does will stand up in court?

    (I'll join, what I assume will be by now, the queue at the coat stand)

  5. Reading Your E-mail
    Go

    Impressive

    78 and it still works, right on sir!!!

  6. Cynical Observer
    Coat

    Inspired by motto

    ... Every Little Helps

  7. Hugh G. Rection
    Coat

    Tsk.

    At least they weren't wearing pyjamas.

  8. Teddy the Bear
    Coat

    Heart Problems...

    "The widow was also noted to have Acute Angina which was said to have made the situation worse".

    Sorry, couldn't resist...

  9. Z 1
    Pint

    Woohoo!

    It's friday!

  10. grimreality
    Linux

    New icon required.

    OK, there is no IT angle to this.

    However, I would be willing to let it slide if you could give us a new litle blue v icon.

    I guess bread was not the only thing being raised in this bakery section.

  11. Anonymous John

    There's only one possible comment.

    Playmobil reconstruction please.

    PS. We're still waiting for a Playmobil icon.

  12. Richard 120

    ROFL

    That's absolutely brilliant I love the quotes!

  13. Michael Parker
    Thumb Up

    Cleanup in isle 3....

    title says it all.

  14. Deckchair

    is required.

    Jock Joystick Joyride Jeopardy

  15. Studley
    Coat

    Checking out her baps?

    Obligatory coat picture.

    I'm still confused though - they're both claiming the other one started it?

    "Nothing like this has happened before." - poor fella

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    A titillation is required

    Pictures or it didn't happe....on second thoughts scratch that.

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I hesitate to ask....

    What's the IT Angle?

    V. Funny though?

    ID Cards for them then - just in case!

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Unhappy

      tenuous but plausible

      The offended Tesco workers were former employees from the mahoosive IBM installation that was closed down in Greenock not long ago, or some equally high tech manufacturing outfit that took advantage of the constituency's pensioner quotient to put up cheap facilities and then folded.

      AC because I may actually know some of them.

  18. The Fuzzy Wotnot
    Happy

    No one else?

    OK I'll say it then....ahem, "Clean up in aisle 6 please!"!

  19. Amazon Wageslave
    Coat

    Unsurprising

    It is Greenock; there's not an awful lot to do here.

    Still. every little helps...

  20. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

    Re: There's only one possible comment.

    You're still waiting for a Playmobil icon? How remiss of us. I shall be certain to raise the issue of 'fulfilling the commentards' every sordid whim' at Monday's meeting and ensure it is marked for urgent actioning.

    1. neb
      Heart

      @moderatrix

      you said raise, fulfil, sordid whim and urgent actioning

      wheres the icon for new pants please?

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Paris Hilton

      Oh goody.

      I have a sordid whim Ms Bee....

      Sadly I suspect it will remain unfulfilled.

    3. SirTainleyBarking
      Happy

      I thought I saw you in Tesco

      Second job to help make ends meet?

  21. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

    Re: I hesitate to ask....

    If anyone else asks what the IT angle is on a Bootnotes article, I will kill again.

    1. Sordid Details
      WTF?

      Gawd 'elp us

      Again?

  22. Annihilator
    Coat

    Did..

    .. the master baker intervene?

  23. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

    Re: No one else?

    Yes. Someone else. Look up.

    Sorry, but if I don't, you'll never learn, will you?

  24. MinionZero
    Happy

    @"raise the issue of 'fulfilling the commentards' every sordid whim'"

    You need a bravery award for risking saying that in public! ;)

  25. hi_robb
    Alert

    I wonder...

    If tesco actually had a code to alert staff to the fact that people were fornicating in the aisle.

    As in code 67 isle 2

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Happy

      one good turn deserves another

      at least it wasn't a code 69

  26. Andus McCoatover

    Utterly stunned....

    And we thought David Carradine was a Master...whatever.

    Grief, at my age, I don't even wanna think about it, and I'm only(?) 53.

    Oh, and at Moderatrix's comment "Re: No-one else" 'Yes. Someone else. Look up.', posts aren't posted or moderated at the time they're sent. They are done in batches. Probably when the pub opposite El Reg closes. So who can know that they aren't the first?

    Go on, Sarah, click the 'Rejected' button. You know you're dying to ;-)

  27. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

    Re: Utterly stunned....

    Alright, fair enough, Andus, but it's still astonishing to me that anyone here can think they're first with any quip when the chances are good that er, they won't be.

    The comments are done in batches because I HAVE OTHER ACTUAL WORK TO DO inbetween changing all of your virtual nappies, capiche?

    Man, I feel fighty today.

    1. James Pickett

      @Sarah

      "Man, I feel fighty today"

      See you near the bread counter, then? No pyjamas, though...

    2. Maverick
      Pint

      > I feel fighty today

      so how would we tell?

      guess that next you'll pretending to be offended and stomp off to the pub

      (as if eh?)

      1. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

        Re: > I feel fighty today

        Why don't you come here and say that?

        1. Maverick
          Thumb Up

          Re: > I feel fighty today

          > Why don't you come here and say that?

          wow, is that an offer of a beer?

          result :)

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Cleaner's busy today

          He might have meant 'feisty'. Do you still want him to come over?

          1. Steve X

            feeling feisty

            If she's feeling Feisty now, the rest of you will just have to wait in line. Could be a long wait...

          2. Maverick
            Thumb Up

            I see what you did there

            > Do you still want him to come over?

            ooh-err, very clever

    3. Andus McCoatover
      Joke

      Whoa! Moderatrix didn't kill me! Result!

      In appreciation, although it's -20 celcius outside, I'm gonna get the barman of this pub to crush some bottles, and sprinkle the shards on the ground on the path home.

      Then, I'm gonna crawl 200 metres to the house on hands and knees, naked*, so I can feel true subserviance to 'She-Who-Rules'

      I woz lucky! (Motorway tongue-washing? Cardboard box? Luxury!)

      * Not a pretty sight. Mercifully, it's dark at present. Only way anyone'll see a 'full moon' tonight.

  28. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    LOL

    Isn't it funny that we are the only species that, thanks to the adherants of non existant dieties, who have made the jump from set to moralities and defilement - are declared to "be punishable" for breeding activities.

    Paris - because she is good to spend a night in.

  29. Tanuki
    Badgers

    Must be the Tesco 'Value' Viagra!

    Presumably they were aiming for the "oldest person to be listed on the sex offenders database" award?

    1. LinkOfHyrule
      Joke

      Value vs Finest

      Dose the 'Tesco Finest' range of Viagra also increase girth as-well as increasing stiffness?

  30. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

    Re: Whoa! Moderatrix didn't kill me! Result!

    Good grief.

  31. ian 22
    Dead Vulture

    Playmobil reconstruction

    Please no! They are wrinkeled old pensioners for god's sake.

    One foot in the grave, etc..

  32. Mike Moyle Silver badge
    Coat

    There could be some good from all of this

    With any luck, some of the local yoofs were in the store and had the sight of geriatric genitalia gyrating sufficiently seared into their brains as to utterly drive drive out any urge to procreate ever again.

    ...I can hope, can't I?

    1. David John Walsh
      Alert

      every cloud

      has a silver surfer liner.......... thou are panty liners required at that age?????

      Probably but to stop a different type of flow!

  33. Jonathan McComb
    Go

    Gives a whole new meaning....

    to getting a 'Crusty Bloomer' from TESCO's...

    1. Sordid Details
      Thumb Up

      ROFLMFAO

      Just when you thought the last nugget had been extracted....Jonathan, I take off my hat to you sir.

  34. Riffraff

    IT angle -well....

    they do have a PC, for having photos on cakes. although I thnk there would be issues if you asked for that on a cake!!

  35. Anonymous Coward
    Joke

    Never mind stranger danger

    .. the new threat is Codger Todger!

  36. This post has been deleted by its author

  37. mhoulden
    Coat

    Just a misunderstanding?

    "When I said I wanted some crumpets...t"

  38. frank ly
    Headmaster

    Clarification Required

    "Greenock pensioners cuffed for Tesco 'sex romp'"

    Were they cuffed 'because of' their actions or were they cuffed 'in preparation for' their activity?

    It's small points like this that need better sub-editing.

  39. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Fancy a bit of crumpet?

    When he promised to take her up the aisle, he din't mean the bakery aisle. In all the excitement she mis-read the sign: 'bang one get one free'

  40. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    Heh

    Bloody fantastic!! Frikkin medal is in order for both of them for proving there is something to look forward to after retirement, not an appearance in court. Who's up for starting a petition for a honours for both of them?

  41. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "sex romp"

    Economies and empires may rise and fall, fortunes made and lost, but The Sun will always remain faithful to its own sensation-fuelling jargon for the titillation of the Britards.

  42. proto-robbie
    Paris Hilton

    Confectioner's custard

    Accused: "The old baguette saw me coming and caught me in the croissants your Honour. I saw the cheesecake and the custard doughnuts and just couldn't stop myself unfortunately. Will I still get my Clubcard points, by the way 'n that?"

    Sheriff: "It should be noted in mitigation that this particular episode is not likely to increase the population of Greenock."

    Paris, who certainly knows how to make dough rise.

  43. Anonymous Coward
    IT Angle

    WTF?

    huh?

    whats this got to do with IT - the mention of CCTV or the phone line being used?

    come on Reg - you arent The Sun

  44. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

    Re: WTF?

    You've got a university email address, AC - how can you not have figured this out? And why don't you know what an apostrophe is?

    The story is in the Bootnotes section, it doesn't need an IT angle. It is Monday morning and I need a drink.

  45. Deckchair

    @Sara Bee

    How's the meeting going? We will be getting our wishes fufilled?

  46. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

    Re: @Sara Bee

    Don't be silly, Deckchair.

This topic is closed for new posts.

Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2019