back to article Microsoft 'offered sex and drugs to distributors'

As sales incentives go it's pretty extreme: one of Microsoft's Israeli distributors is claiming Microsoft offered resellers women for sex on a cruise ship. The distributor, EIM Computerized Technologies, made the revelations about the alleged activities in papers filed with the Tel Aviv District Court. The story in the Globes …

COMMENTS

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  1. Valerion
    Thumb Up

    One way or another

    Microsoft will ensure you're f****d.

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    The side benefits of unreliability

    Given what most M$ products are famed for, then the ladies they provide might..... no this is not appropriate :-)

  3. DI_Wyman
    Unhappy

    Sob

    I didn't get an invite.

  4. James 47
    Thumb Up

    Hookers and Coke

    What's the problem exactly???

  5. mlo0352
    Paris Hilton

    Proof?

    Proof would be nice.

    Paris, because she knows how to give services.

  6. Stef 4
    Thumb Down

    Seriously?

    "EIM claims it was victimised for not taking part in the orgy"

    As claims go, that is pretty poor. Did the dog eat their homework too?

  7. Robert Moore
    Flame

    Microsoft sex

    You know someone is going to get a virus.

  8. Ralph B
    Joke

    So the choice is now between ...

    ... Open Source or Open Sauce!

  9. Chris007
    Unhappy

    How come I...

    ...never seem to be invited to these events

  10. Robert Ramsay
    Joke

    But of course...

    The women were fine for a while, but then became completely unresponsive and had to be rebooted.

  11. J 3
    Joke

    Offering sex and drugs?

    Hey, they do it everywhere!

    They screw you AND also give you Windows... or are those the one and same action?

  12. Fred 1

    Winning strategy

    I have always believed that microsoft are a corrupt, immoral and criminal organisation who are a disgrace to the IT industry.

    I am a reasonable man however, and would be prepared to reconsider this position for a suitable bribe of sex and drugs.

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    Another tale of debauchery

    More details please. Pictures or it didin't happen.

  14. Paul 75
    Paris Hilton

    Neither EIM nor Microsoft were able to immediately comment on this story

    Were they on a cruise?

    And, please, Playmobil reconstruction!

  15. El
    Paris Hilton

    I'm in the wrong line of work!

    Where do I sign up to become an Israeli software distributor?

    Paris, 'cause she's been known to accept payments for attending parties as well...

    1. The Fuzzy Wotnot
      Coat

      Eh?

      Muddy boots and broken glasses?!

      Rugby/Hooker? Diet Coke? No? Please yourselves!

    2. Snert Lee

      What?

      Viral infections?

  16. Jerome 0

    I wonder...

    Interesting that Microsoft filed suit for breach of contract, but not for anything to do with the drug-fuelled orgy allegations. Is that a tacit admission?

  17. Fluffykins Silver badge

    It was probably a misunderstanding

    cone on, try Vista!

    Ha ha ha - youre shagged!

  18. Disco-Legend-Zeke
    Paris Hilton

    Where the heck is....

    ...mine?

  19. Sweeping Brush
    Paris Hilton

    Microsoft -

    Who do you want to do today?

  20. JBH
    Joke

    Microsoft hookers?

    Got to be a few jokes in there somewhere...

    ...I'd just be worried about catching something nasty!

  21. the real jacob
    Thumb Up

    so...

    how do I sign up to be a MS distributor?

  22. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Just imagine...

    microsoft[tm] sex[tm] (plus! pack) and microsoft[tm] banned substance[tm] (ultimate edition).

    And the appropriate ad campaigns to go with those.

    1. elderlybloke
      Pirate

      Microsoft hookers?

      Ditto , JBH.

      I have enough problems already.

  23. KenBW2

    Yea, whatever

    That is all

  24. John Greenwood 1
    Pint

    Neither EIM nor Microsoft were able to immediately comment on this story.

    Probably too shagged out to bother

  25. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Beats engineered incompatibility

    should be legal, probably is. Bribery use to be legal in these isles, still is if you call it an incentive.

    Of course we use to have very low tax as well, and the ability to carry weapons which balanced it all out.

  26. Bucky 2
    Pint

    Short Sighted

    The error as I see it was in not providing a number of men who would also provide said services.

    Discrimination, I say.

  27. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    Well

    Perhaps a ship makes some difference as it is sort of a restricted space and the whole lot was, I suppose, paid for by Microsoft.

    But what is the real difference when you take customers, for instance, to CeBit and you pay for the "after ski" part.

    Are there any laws against it.

    The drug part sounds bad, however, but the type of drugs is not mentioned.

  28. Dale Morgan

    Business as usual

    So i start the night off, get sucked into trying a great new product, things are going well i end up getting shagged, catch a virus and i crash 3 hours later, go into hibernation for 5 hours, reboot and nothings quite the same afterwards

  29. Reverend Brown
    Pint

    ad campaign?

    So who's going to deliver the "Hookers and blow, that was my idea" line?

  30. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    I wonder how

    one becomes a Microsoft distributor

    /hugs knees and does a little weep

  31. Paul 129
    Joke

    The hookers wouldn't have much business

    They are after all "Micro Softies"

  32. Puck
    Joke

    It looks like you're trying to get it up...

    ...would you like some help with that?

  33. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    Multiple vectors

    ...to be infected with a virus. Microsoft are always exploring new avenues, it seems.

  34. Anonymous Coward
    Pint

    Windows 7 serviceme pack1

    'nuff said

  35. greenmantle
    Thumb Up

    Playmobile

    Or it didn't happen...

  36. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Double Standards

    1) MS sue in Irish jurisdiction!

    2) Al Yamanah, senator

  37. TeeCee Gold badge
    Joke

    WinTarts.

    MS may give away the Homely Edition, but they know that at some point you're going to want to pay for the Ultimate version...

  38. lansalot
    Happy

    :O

    Ten and a half million shekels ?

    Did you hear that ? "Ten and a half million" he offers ! Me, with a dying Grandmother ??

    (Haven't they ever heard of haggling...?)

  39. nobby
    Coat

    Missing Ingredient

    Its just like microsoft to miss out a vital ingredient.

    i see no mention of Rock And Roll

  40. Pascal Monett Silver badge
    FAIL

    Didn't they have mobiles ?

    On the boat (before getting out of range, or when coming back in range) someone should have called the cops and had them waiting at the pier.

    It would be a lot less deniable if the cops had arrested everyone, found banned substances and a group of skimpily-clad nubile women.

    But they didn't, and they probably didn't take any pics either, so Microsoft will have an easy job of pretending that it is above such practices.

    1. ahahaha you won't catch me that easy again

      well, look at the MS board...

      ...do you seriously think any of them took time out in the late 70's to investigate the music scene of landaaan taaaan?

      i'm sure there was something funnier to be written here, but on having to re-log in to the site, it appears to have gone askew...ah well...

  41. Chris Mellor 1

    Microsoft says....

    This came in from a Microsoft spokesperson:

    "Microsoft terminated its commercial relationship with EIM Computer Technologies for valid business reasons. We are confident that the court will support our position.”

    Thanks for that,

    Chris.

  42. Anonymous Coward
    Badgers

    Boat in International waters.

    Who ya gonna call? what juristiction?

    surprisingly, to some it seems, anything goes off shore!

  43. Anonymous Coward
    Grenade

    What if...

    I was busy wanking one day, when I thought, "Hey, what if someone else would pay for me to get laid and line up cocaine for me?". So, Microsoft sent me on a Cruise Ship where I screwed 5 hookers and took so much cocaine my noise nearly fell off.

    My name's Pete Doherty and the Windows 7 Sex & Drugs Cruise was my idea!

  44. bill 30

    and all I got was...

    A copy of MS Works ...........

    seriously thought........................... oh, never mind!

  45. Graham Bartlett
    Joke

    Gives a whole new meaning to the phrase...

    ... three-finger shuffle...

  46. Stewart Stevens

    Teenage Volleyball Team

    One of the most embarrassing evenings I've ever had to endure was the Friday night entertainment provided by Microsoft at the end of a week long TechEd conference in Auckland.

    They got a local teen girl volleyball team into play us geeks!

    There were lots of cool games though and the buffet was great - including a whole King fish.

  47. Inachu
    Dead Vulture

    Typical

    For those not "IN THE KNOW" about Israel.

    The holy land is actually the #1 country yes the #1 country when it comes to

    the importation of sex workers from around the world.

    It is so bad in Israel that the govt. there say they are totally helpless.

    So if any european woman gets abducted for the sex trade then there is a 95% chance they will end up and die in Israel as a sex worker.

    The holy land indeed.

  48. henrydddd
    Thumb Down

    Windows 666

    I wonder if these reps were required to agree to MS EULA? Perhaps MS will agree that this type of activity should be open sourced rather than MS

    1. blod
      Coat

      Oh yes, as an Israeli I can tell you that

      It's true, 95% of prostitutes end up dead here in Israel, but these are the fortunate ones, think about the remaining 5% who are left to service the rest of Europe... Talk about overstretched workforce.

      As a matter of fact, there are ten abducted white European slave-prostitute-children for every male in Israel, I'm using 3 of those right now as a chair. And two more take turns blowing on my CPU, because they are actually cheaper than a CPU fan, go figure.

      Also, 95% of criminals everywhere were conceived either in Israel, or while one of the participating partners was thinking about Israel, that is a FACT.

      The Israeli authorities also admit this is a terrible problem, but they can't do anything, because they are busy stealing organs from Palestinians in a field hospital in Haiti while using white phosphorus on Japanese whaling boats in Darfur during Tibet's independence day. Also SARS.

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