back to article Steve Jobs uncloaks the 'iPad'

Steve Jobs has announced Apple's long-awaited tablet - now officially named the iPad, as The Reg had predicted - at a media circus Wednesday morning in the 757-seat Novellus Theater at San Francisco's Yerba Buena Center for the Arts. The Reg will offer its considered analysis of what Jobs called "a truly magical and …

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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Boffin

    iHostage

    One would assume iPad users will be held hostage to the same software monopoly restrictions as iPhone users.

  2. Tim J
    Thumb Up

    The world's only revolving because of Steve though...

    ...let us all bow down before the master and empty our wallets so we too can play with the latest god-like bit of consumer electronics. It will undoubtedly change your life, and make you a better person. Well, better than all the lesser people. i.e. The losers.

    Winners Heart Apple.

  3. Rolf Howarth

    £399 in the UK?

    So, no UK pricing has been announced, but I bet it's £399. So before everyone jumps in and says what a ripoff, think for a moment how do Apple calculate the price?

    Exchange rates fluctuate, but once they've set a price for a model in a market they don't tend to change it. So, what's the lowest the pound might expect to fall against the dollar over the next 12 months, 1.50 maybe? $499/1.5 = £333, add 17.5% VAT, that's £391, then round it up or down to the nearest round number... £399. If the rate drops lower than that they make a loss, if it stays at 1.60 or above they're up on the deal. Not a bad price in all though.

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Jobs Horns

    Clever case

    Too bad it's certain to be DRM locked what with a custom "Apple A4" SOC and all.

  5. Toastan Buttar
    Jobs Halo

    UK price ?

    I wonder if it'll be a straightforward £=$ ratio ? Looks gorgeous, I must say. Techno-lust !

  6. Jeremy 2

    Terrible name. Really...

    If I may refer to my previous comment on the iPad name:

    http://forums.theregister.co.uk/post/657478

    At 9.7", I can see the appeal a little more than the 7" that was expected... But the lack of open access just puts me right off again. You just know it's going to be locked down tighter than the crown jewels.

    So.... Meh.... Again.

  7. Pete 2 Silver badge

    Apple's "Vista" moment?

    When MS launched Vista, the meeja were making a BIG thing of the announcement. The BBC had a reporter in a computer store, getting vox-pops from passers by. One lady was shown the new O/S, told it had taken so many years to develop and cost so many billions of dollars. Her reaction to seeing the wizzy new interface: "is that all?"

    Fast forward to the iPad launch, It appears to be a larger version of an iPhone, but without the phone. Is that all?

  8. Steve X

    "World continues to revolve around sun"

    Subheading like that, I was expecting a comment about Larry Ellison...

  9. alun phillips
    Grenade

    is it...?

    A large ipod touch or a small (overpriced) underpowered laptop without a physical keyboard?

    Grenade because I am coming armed if theres fanboi's about

  10. Jack 4
    Grenade

    Wanna bet...

    Want to bet that the price will drop a few hundred dollars after a few months once Apple soaks the early buyers with a "Fashion Victim" tax, just like they did with the iPhone when it was first released?

  11. justsaying
    Jobs Halo

    In years to come

    the OED will use this event as a definition of "fail". I'm an Apple fan but this is simply a disastrous event.

    I almost feel sorry for old Stevie.

    "Hey everyone, the netbook stinks, what you need is a bigger iPod Touch! We'll provide everything you need (at a price) and don't worry if it multitasks like a sysadmin on a Friday afternoon - you and it will look very cool!!!

    Just look into my eyes, look into my eyes, the eyes, the eyes, not around the eyes, don't look around my eyes, look into my eyes.

    You're under."

  12. Charles Manning

    David Carr's dopey comment

    Duh!

    It has always been about the software, never the hardware [*].

    Nobody carries a 2 pound lump, cellphone or even a laptop, around just for the fun of doing so. Nope, they carry it around because it provides life support for the software/data and the function those provide.

    Nobody want's the hardware. They just want something that gives them the software. The hardware is a penalty you have to pay to have the software around.

    Apple have taken the right route with this. A tablet has far more in common with a phone than a PC. MS have screwed up at least 4 attempts to get into tablets (one of Bill Gate's pet projects) because they have tried to make it into a Windows machine (ie. yet another PC). Of course they tried that on phones too.... Nobody wants to use the start bar on a phone or tablet.

    [*] Slight exception maybe for iconic devices, like maybe the iphone, that apparently make you look cool.

  13. Tom 7 Silver badge

    Ah an Apple netbook

    Just too big to be a netbook (so you have to carry it externally so people can see you have an Apple) and 3 times the price plus tie ins and overexpensive 'addons'. An Apple netbook. Who'd have thought it....

  14. Paul Stephenson
    Jobs Halo

    iPad Keyboard Dock to work on iPhone/iPod Touch?

    As the iPad is reported to use the same connector as the iPhone and iPod Touch, I wonder if this means the optional hardware keyboard available for the iPad will also work with these other devices? Hopefully it will be just like the lovely folding keyboard I had for the Palm Pilot about a decade ago!

  15. Stuart Halliday
    Happy

    No ARM?

    So where is the ARM chip you said it would have?

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I finally have definitive proof that Apple have no taste...

    What could it be? Their over-reliance on minimalist design (well known by designers as being the safest option - no personality = nothing for anybody to dislike).

    Or could it be the fact that this Jobs fella still insists on wearing a black polar neck, always (is he covering up hickies from adoring fanbois?)

    Nope. According to Engadget they were playing 'Baby Let Me Follow You Down', a great Dylan song. But they were playing the ELECTRIC version! Ask anybody who knows Bob Dylan's music what they think of his electric period.

    Hahahahahahahahahahaha. Apple you try too hard. I would say FAIL, but then I'd have to kill myself (and yes Apple fans I know you want me to do that anyway...) x

  17. RegisterThis
    Coat

    Underwhelmed ...

    ... by this desciption? What was all the hype about? Nothing here strikes me as revolutionary ... sounds more like an oversize iPod Touch than an oversize iPhone given the mention of 3G (for data) and no voice call capabilities (except I assume for voip) ... maybe why google voice has not received Apples blessing? I'll reserve judgment for now and read a few more articles ...

  18. Sly
    Badgers

    The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

    I bet this won't be the first post in relation to a full wikipedia mirror on the iPad as a pseudo Hitchhiker's Guide to the Earth.

    of course with all the DRM restrictions and such, you won't be able to copy the multimedia content over and it will end up being an incomplete Hitchhiker's Guide.

    It's shiny... but I still think a larger version of Fujitsu's Lifebook u810 (the tiny one with the flip around screen) would be better (like with a 7" screen instead of the 5.6"). I'd be afraid I would break the screen on that iPad. at least give me a shell I can close over it... oh wait... Apple's aftermarket!

    KA-CHING!

    Only licensed Apple products may be used on the iPad. Otherwise it will cease to function until the unlicensed product is removed. If Apple hasn't figured this one out, they soon will.

  19. Laurent_Z
    Thumb Up

    Good god !

    Jesus Tablet seems interesting.

    If the change rates keep up between Euro and Dollar (1.4 last I checked), that makes it close to 600€...Twice more than my Sony PRS-505 when I bought it...bit pricey...

    Lets wait until blackrain can unjail it 8)

    No camera, btw...

  20. Anonymous Coward
    Welcome

    Try searching Apple.com for iPad

    Returns an empty page with errors.....

    Really want to sell this thing don't they.

    Sad that it's as speculated, for consuming media and Web 2.0, rather than doing anything useful. Yeah I know it runs "apps" but how many of them are really worth anything? But OTH they are vetted by Apple.

    Maybe I am getting old.

    One Question - Does it have a microphone?

    1. Dr Richard

      ... nope it's following Dieter Ram's 10 principles of good design.

      http://www.vitsoe.com/en/gb/about/dieterrams/gooddesign

      Dieter is a genius and I for one applaud the lack of extraneous buttons, stupid branding logos (single iconic apple logo is fine), crappy plastic, etc. Their design may be minimal but the physical engineering these days is superb. I will be looking forward to actual hold and interact with one.

    2. Rob Beard
      FAIL

      No Leg too...

      ...since it's going to cost an arm and a leg :-)

      Rob

    3. Vincent

      Exactly Rolf

      But you even forgot 1 thing: duties which are applicable on invoice price and shipping, then VAT is added to the cost incorporating the duties! In a funny way, it is cheaper in Europe...

      1. Rolf Howarth

        No duty

        I could be wrong but I don't think there is any import duty on computers and telecoms equipment at the moment

    4. Shell
      Thumb Up

      Not new but...

      They said that about the iPhone tho. "Nothing new here". Have you any idea how many iPhones I see on the commute to work every morning!? Those buggers are everywhere (um... including my jacket pocket...). The iPad isn't "new" - it's a pooling of some of the best interface ideas in a format that is more easily consumed. I'm really excited by the idea of what this could do to the publishing industry. I'd much rather have an interactive stack of digital magazines that the backpack of design mags I usually lug around with me.

      But I'm cautious too: I dont know if there is a market for an expensive device like this. And it'll only be a success if the content (such as interactive mags, lots of good books, a few killer apps) is there. And the idea of spending £499 + 3G contract on top of my iPhone contract... meh. Is there anyone rich enough left in the UK (apart from bankers) who can actually afford that any more?

    5. Bit Brain

      According to Wikipedia…

      …the A4 uses the ARM architecture.

    6. Bit Brain
      FAIL

      Forgot to add a link

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apple_A4

    7. Goat Jam
      Coat

      hmmmrph

      I remember a time not too long ago when mobile phones were hip, cool and expensive and it was not uncommon to find poseurs swanning about with fake "mockbiles" just so they could look cool too.

      On another level, calls at that time were so expensive that sometimes even peeps who actually had a working phone would go around pretending to talk into them for the cool factor. I recall one guy who was doing this on a train only to be near fatally embarrassed when the wretched thing rang while he was talking into it.

      Happy days, happy days.

      Mines the one with the Motorola DynaTac 8000 in the pocket, thanks.

    8. Joel Mansford
      Stop

      £399 not a bad price?

      ...Really?

      A Dell Inspiron 11z costs £299 and runs a full-blown OS.

      Ok so it doesn't have a touch screen but that's not £100 worth I'm sure.

      1. mrweekender
        FAIL

        Yeah..

        ..but who would buy a fucking Dell?

      2. Rolf Howarth

        Missing the point

        If I wanted a full-blown OS I'd buy a full-blown computer. I've already got one of those (or rather, I've probably got 6 or 7, I lose count: big ones, small ones, Macs, PCs, etc.).

        The iPad is something completely different. It's a consumer gadget that's supposed to be fun to use. Using and administering a tiny Windows PC wouldn't be fun, it would be work (which I'm happy to do, as long as you pay me of course).

    9. Annihilator
      Coat

      No camera?

      Why on earth would you want a camera? How much of a bell-end would you look taking a picture with that??

      Granted you'd look like a bell-end owning one full-stop... :-)

      1. Neill Mitchell

        Erm...

        Video calls perhaps, like most netbooks?

    10. Andy ORourke
      Joke

      You are dreaming arent you

      This is a new device so any peripherals you buy for it won't work on your 'old' iPhone

    11. Anonymous Coward
      Jobs Horns

      Steve in my head...

      See the Steve Jobs in my head sounds more like the guy from Indiana Jones/Temple of Doom.... KAHLI MAAAAAAH!!! and then Steve rips your heart from your chest. Glad to see some folks were out protesting the event. Nice to know some of us realize a horribly closed and locked down platform is not the best thing for consumers. We like choice, not choices made for us.

  21. Prag Fest
    Stop

    Hmmm

    Bit meh tbh.

  22. Dazed and Confused Silver badge
    Thumb Down

    Looks kinda clunky

    I'd have thought they have done video to the edge or at least damn close.

    With that big black outline around it if looks dated even before it's shipped.

  23. geist
    Welcome

    difference?

    Is that Carmaggedon in the picture? That would be reason enough to buy it. Though surely the big questions are how is it better than a tablet PC and is it just a big IPhone? 16GB memory though, nice.

  24. Tony Bloke
    WTF?

    Am I missing something?

    "As expected, the iPad's raison d'être, according to Jobs, is to be a mobile video-watching, book-reading, game-playing, photo-perusing, music-listening, web-surfing, and email-emailing device."

    So, it's a laptop?

  25. Anonymous Coward
    Jobs Horns

    yeah

    I saw it, I laughed. What idiot would buy that over an iPod Touch or iPhone? That's if they wanted to stick with Apple. It looks like a kids toy, 4 buttons at the bottom? Seriously, I'm still laughing at how it looks, its pathetic. All that hype and what do you get, a McDonalds SuperSized iPhone.

    Still laughing, and will point AND laugh at any idiot who buys one of those... things.

  26. Libertine
    FAIL

    heh

    i was laughing pretty hard when i read the first article about the iPad some 10min. ago .... i was just thinking about all the Journalists and Hype and they all sit in fron of their screen thinking "how the hell should i explain THIS ..."

    seriously tough, that thing is nothing special except its got an apple logo on it ... given, that will be reason enough for some people to buy it, but imo they really missed an opportunity here to give tablets a good push ... i mean jesus, not even putting a cam in there ... thats just made of fail ...

    second to that there is no real target audience methinks ... i mean whos supposed to buy this ? iphone users allready have the same thing except with theirs they can also make phone calls ... ipod users ... njet, too big and bulky to serve as a substiute... and the rest of humanity will also live happily with their netbooks

  27. Bunglebear
    Troll

    Shekels

    And how much will they be charging for this fashion-statement bit of techno-frippery? It looks frighteningly breakable to me for a mobile device.

    Either way, good luck to 'em.

  28. The Fuzzy Wotnot
    Pint

    Intresting I suppose

    Won't be able to move in here in a minute, for gushing fanbois!

    I looks a little bulkier than I expected. Still should be intresting to see how it's recieved by the party faithful. No great surprise they locked it into the cash-cow that is Apps-Store.

    Look forward to jail-breaking it and getting Ubuntu loaded! Just kidding, nothing like winding up the Jobs faithful!

  29. Richard 81

    STOP THE PRESSES!

    There are islands in the pacific as yet untouched by western civilisation, where the most primitive of peoples live. They don't know what a computer is, they have never even heard of Apple and if they saw a white man, they would throw him into the nearest volcano to appease their pagan gods. Yet even they knew Steve Jobs was going to be announcing some sort of iTablet today.

  30. Scott Broukell
    Joke

    Incontinence - there's an app for that !

    ..... make your iPads work for you !

  31. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    iPad!!!???

    Sounds like a ladies sanitary product!!! Will suite the boi's

  32. This post has been deleted by its author

  33. Stu J
    Stop

    Yawn

    It's a tablet PC, they've been around for years, nothing to see here.

    Yet the world's media falls for Apple's hype, yet again. Sadly all the fanbois will buy one, making it a whopping success, and the media circus will roll on.

  34. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Down

    Big iphone or cut rate laptop?

    Why would I watch a movie on this? This isn't hyperbole. Give me one good reason to watch an hour and half long movie on the back of a National Geographic. If Jobs is going to describe a netbook as a crappy laptop, how is this not just a crappy laptop? If I'm sitting in my living room I have a TV (already hooked up to my computer) to watch movies on. If I'm traveling I have a real laptop to do real work on. And if somehow I lose enough IQ points to become interested in an e-reader I think I'd rather have one that isn't the same as my laptop screen.

  35. Giles Jones Gold badge

    Hmmm

    I think it looks ok, but it's still a niche product.

    The problem it will have is it doesn't use an epaper screen. So as a reading device its appeal is limited.

    I think basically what Apple thought was rather than create a desktop surface computer, why not make it mobile? being sat at a desk using a computer is so old fashioned now, outside of an office anyway.

  36. mrlumpy
    FAIL

    Wat???

    Seriously, what a waste of time, it is a high powered netbook sized iphone, hardly a revolution.

    How long after this goes to market will the forums be full of "my screen cracked" topics?

  37. david willis
    FAIL

    10inch i-phone

    Hmm, a 10 inch iphone... doesn't fit in your pocket. Isn't a proper computer. Hmm, lemon maybe?

    That should start a fight with the fan boys.

  38. B Ward

    Hmmm

    Er it looks a bit bulky! Not so cracked on touch control for gaming either. Crap just saw the price. Okay that's me not sold on it.

  39. strangefish

    no mention

    of a price point for this gi-phone then?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Paris Hilton

      I got used to it..

      'Though it'd take bloody big strides to get a whole ten incher in and not be uncomfortable.'

      Mine feel fine but thanks for the concern mate.

      Paris, a little uncomfortable about a ten incher but she got used to it too..

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Paris Hilton

        Poor boy.

        Too much food microwaved in plastic containers as a child?

        Paris, because she a mistress of tweezers and a magnifying glass.

  40. Anonymous Coward
    Jobs Horns

    Finally

    Can we all just move on now please?

    It's a giant iphone - whoop-de-doo

    and this is 'a truly magical and revolutionary product' how exactly? Surely with something of that size it wouldn't be too hard to have it run a full version of OSX so you can make it somewhat usable beyond what his Jobsness decrees you are allowed to have?

  41. Jay Jaffa
    Jobs Horns

    Her indoors wants one

    I think it's the acid test - this will be a success.

    I bought her a Windows 7 ACER PC last month from PC World. Came so full of 60-day trial rubbish from Norton, Kodak and the likes that the performance was crap and there was relentless pop-ups so she actually gave up on it. I ended up re-formatting and sticking Ubuntu on it. She's hasn't noticed the difference but thinks it's a lot quicker now.

    She's just seen this iPad preview now and said that she wants rid of the laptop (ebay maybe hon, someone might want it!). A consumer PC for the masses.

    9 years of Visual C++ and now it's time to learn how to code for the apple. How did Microsoft fuck things up so much ... !

  42. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    The only real surprise is the price

    Everything else had been widely predicted, but the $499 base price is impressive.

    It's also interesting that it's not available today - it won't be available for another 2 months.

    Who'll be the first to market an iPad handbag?

  43. Benjamin Ford
    Stop

    Not unless it has flash

    Type your comment here — plain text only, no HTML

    I won't even consider it if it doesn't have it.

  44. Petrea Mitchell
    WTF?

    Giant iPhone == possible problems

    I'm looking at early photos of Steve Jobs holding the iPad delicately by its edges and thinking: If you're supposed to carry this around the house, *how*?? The Kindle and friends may look ugly to Apple designers, but at least they have obvious places you can grab on to them. If this is supposed to replace the newspaper, how's it going to handle getting cereal and orange juice spilled on it at the breakfast table? Or being shoved into a briefcase, since you can't fold it up to protect the screen? If your kids are supposed to use this, how many times will it survive being dropped on the floor?

  45. Youngone Silver badge
    FAIL

    Well...

    On the face of it, this might be quite a good idea.... but.

    How much will it cost? It'd have to be cheap for me to even look at it.

    How locked down will it be? Very I suspect. After all its an Apple.

    Will ebooks be encumbered with DRM? Of course, God forbid I might like to have control over my own purchases.

    Don't imagine I'll be buying one of these. The price rumours are between US$500 and US$1,000. That equates to NZ$700 to NZ$1,400 or so. That would make it between 2x and 4x more than I'll pay.

  46. strangefish
    Unhappy

    ahh there it is

    Bah and bah again. The low-end price is eyecatching but Apple really have to knock it off with the Ryanair way they charge for "extras" on their products like a useful amount of memory, storage or best of all... a connection that allows you to actually use the damn thing. Thrice I bah at thee.

  47. Benjamin Ford
    FAIL

    And only 64 Gb?

    That seems a little low, I would have thought that would have been the entry level!

  48. Mr Young
    Pint

    Cool!

    "gesture-based interface elements" Cooooool.....Does that mean I can give my computerspaz the finger and it'll minimise the currently focused window. Does it work like that?

  49. Anonymous Coward
    FAIL

    Hmm lets see.

    No camera, thats for version 2, then video camera and wide screen for version 3!

    No flash? check

    No multitasking? check

    Tied in to the app store? check, watch out macbook owners, you are next!

    will i probably buy one anyways? check

  50. Steen Hive
    Thumb Up

    "Run iPhone software virtually unmodified"

    So you have to jailbreak it, then? :-)

  51. Eddy Ito Silver badge

    WFIW

    web page here

    http://www.apple.com/ipad/

  52. Vince

    Wake me up when it is over

    God that's a dull product. The Duplo version of the iPhone with added "not really needed" factor.

    Still, hopefully it won't take off so I don't have to put up with plenty of tards telling me my preferred choice of device (which won't be an ipad funnily enough) should be replaced with one.

  53. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Oh goody.

    OMGOMGOMG.. Oh wait, umm, it looks just like a big iPhone...

    Can't wait for all the Dom Joly jokes.

    HELLO, YES, I'M A POSING TWAT WITH TOO MUCH MONEY.

    YES, IT'S A GLORIFIED EBOOK READER.

    All that hype for so little substance.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      WTF?

      Low end price? FFS, you are a banker and I claim my five pounds.

    2. Bit Brain

      Not available for 2 months…

      I know that's usually the case with most new Apple hardware but I wonder if it's deliberate in this case. Gives iPhone devs a chance to d/l the SDK and make sure their existing apps work OK on the new shiny and possibly (depending on how easy they make it) update them to use the extra screen real-estate so that there are at least a few iPad apps available when people finally get them.

    3. sT0rNG b4R3 duRiD
      Jobs Horns

      I feel your pain

      Goddamit, looks like I'll have to go learn obj-c or something :(

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        I feel your pain.

        I'm an Apple fan but... Objective-C... <blurgh>... bigger hack than C++ and that's saying something.

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Go

      Not available for 2 months

      This is deliberate. To be able to sell it immediately the thing has to be FCC certified. To get it FCC certified you have to send final products in to be tested. And because the FCC can't control their staff, leaked product shots would be all over the Internet immediately.

      The free publicity from the secrecy-hype and the unveiling is worth far more than any lost sales between now and its availability.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        3G Only surely?

        FCC approval is only required for 3G not WiFi and 3G versions wont be available for another month anyway (so 3 months wait in total).

        Can't see much reason why the WiFi-only versions couldn't have been available now.

    5. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Personally...

      ...I'm glad it doesn't have Flash.All the current implementations have security flaws, gobble up cpu cycles (bye bye battery life) and Flash just isn't required to view video over the web.

      And Flash based web sites? Immediately marks the company (and designer) as decidely 3rd rate. If their judgement is so awful that they think a Flash web site is "cool" then I sure as hell ain't trusting them with my business.

    6. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Read what you just posted

      You admit that you bought a PC full of 3rd party crap and somehow this is Microsofts fault? Blame Acer for bundling all the unnecessary bloat.

      Did you even try a clean install of Windows 7? You would be surprised at just how well it runs.

  54. Anonymous Coward
    FAIL

    Very disappointing

    The price is great, it's fantastic engineering... but what would I want one for?

    And the kids will soon break it.

  55. Tom Maddox Silver badge
    Coat

    At 9.7 inches . . .

    . . . the iPad is good for those heavy flow days! Mine's the one with the string attached (yes, strings are on tampons, I know).

    1. John 104
      FAIL

      Price?

      The price blows. Seriously. Why limit yourself to such a small cross section of functionality on an akward device when you could just buy a netbook or a really nice laptop? Apple are going to land on their face with this one.

      Fail. Because FAIL!

  56. ratfox Silver badge
    Paris Hilton

    First to post a comment...

    Yeah right.

    They already have a commercial on YouTube:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A1BUH9eXy18

    1. ratfox Silver badge
      FAIL

      Oops

      This video has been removed due to terms of use violation.

      They sure didn't waste a minute...

    2. D@v3
      Jobs Horns

      you tube vid

      removed due to terms of use violation.

      my 2p, looks like a solution to a problem i didnt know existed. Like my other iProds, this looks blaaahmeh

      (typed on my pocket sized EeePc)

  57. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Better than a netbook?

    So, this is a device to compete with the netbook that will have none of the flexibility of the netbook (essentially the ability to run any desktop software you want, barring games)? Count me out. A restricted app store requiring a blessing from apple for each and every update is bad enough on the iphone.

  58. Martin an gof Silver badge

    How many bedrooms?

    Does the 32G version have one bedroom and the 64G two?

    http://www.yournewhome.co.uk/Barratt-iPad-homes_2

    http://www.barratthomes.co.uk/About-Us/Testimonials/Joanne-Milne/

    M.

  59. Paul 4
    Joke

    World continues to revolve around sun

    But every fanboy knows where the sun shines from.

  60. O
    FAIL

    Awful.

    Judging by the posts on Engadget and Gizmodo (the favourite hang outs for Jobsian disciples), even the iSheep are baulking at this.

    Expensive.

    No multi-tasking (seriously?!?!?!?).

    No support for Flash. At all.

    No camera.

    Ordinary battery life.

    PA developed ARM SoC which looks like it'll end up slower than TI, Qualcomm, Samsung and particularly Marvell chips.

    Why on earth would anyone want an enormous, heavy and expensive iPhone?

    If you want a limited tablet without a fully-fledged O/S, Chrome O/S tablets will be far more capable, open, less bloated and cheaper.

  61. PaulW

    Why?

    So is it:

    a) An IPhone with no phone or

    b) A laptop with no keyboard or

    c) A table with no handwriting capability (at least as far as I can see)

    I suppose the 10 hour battery is interesting but my portable DVD player does 14 hours.

    iPhone application scaling strikes me as a disasater - its got to have some hardware scaling mechanism or quite frankley an app or game is going to look really blocky at that resolution. Facebook on that screen really should have been the web style version not the iPhone incarnation.

    I guess I just dont get it. I have an iPhone for use as a mobile device (phone/PDA/games/web) and a small laptop for use as a moble computing platform (work/remote network access/games/web). Between the two of them I can talk, play physical shiney media, write hand written notes (never underestimate this!), and a few other things that the iPad can't do.

    Remind me of why I need one other than St. Steve says I need one?

  62. Anonymous Coward
    FAIL

    It says a lot

    when iTampon is trending on Twitter but iPad isn't. Heck, even Kindle is trending. Something tells me this is a FAIL already.

  63. Michael Downie
    FAIL

    Massively Disappointing

    I was hoping for it to have a version of OSX on it, rather than a scaled up iPhone/iTouch OS.

    If it had a version of OSX, had multitasking and could run most OSX software like iLife, then i would say its a nigh on essential and properly groundbreaking product.

    But it doesnt have any of it, it isnt essential and bearing in mind the iPhone/iTouch has been out since 2007 with essentially the same features, its not even groubreaking. When realeased in the UK, the 3G model needs to be sub-£300 for me to even glimmer some interest.

    Sorry Mr Jobs, i like your phones, laptops and desktops but your iPad... try again please.

  64. Paul Owen 1
    WTF?

    Meh, Meh, and thrice Meh

    Big iPhone, no multitasking, no Flash support, backlit screen for reading ebooks (have Apple not heard how horrible an experience that is?), no proper OS.

    I say once more: Meh!

  65. John Sanders
    Flame

    LOL!

    "Pricing begins at $499 - that'll get you a non-3G iPad with 16GB of storage"

    Muah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha (rolling on the floor)

    $500 for that piece of... so I can enjoy the pleasure to buy crap from virtual apple sponsored stores???? not even multitasking... !!!!!

    Come on do not make me laugh.

    Oh wait this was about saving the printed press...

    Muah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha (rolling on the floor)

    Who's going to be the idiot buying one???? $500!!!!

  66. Anonymous Coward
    WTF?

    Hmmmm

    When everyone is wanting everything smaller, apple give us an oversized iPod Touch!

  67. Anonymous Coward
    Coffee/keyboard

    seriously?

    First female comment I heard: Does it have wings?

  68. Anonymous Coward
    WTF?

    Ho hum

    iCouldntGiveaFlyingFuck

  69. bluest.one
    FAIL

    Rename it the iFail All Ready

    No multitasking.

    So I wouldn't be able to listen to Spotify while I browse the internet, or to my locally streamed audio while doing something else, like writing my emails.

    Uh-oh.

    And locked down tight so I'm limited to using what the crack-addled monkeys at App Store approval department say is blessed.

    Apple have a track record of scre-ups for all their insightful wins and this is such a fail.

  70. Slappy
    FAIL

    Meh...

    I'll wait till Asus/Acer et al bring out a superior machine for half the price <ducks for coat>

  71. PaulW

    Mono speaker(s)?

    Just noticed from the 360 view on the apple site that it only looks like it has one speaker (bottom left corner - positioned the same place as an iPhone). Can anyone confirm/deny?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Thanks

      As with everything they seem to release, the first thing to look for is what blindingly obvious thing which most manufacturers don't bother putting on the specs, have been left off the device instead.

      Like does it do Copy and Paste?

      People will still buy it - maybe it'll put off the hardened fanbois, but there's still enough people who will buy it simply because it's there and the BBC have told them to.

    2. magnetik

      Re: Awful

      "even the iSheep are baulking at this"

      They're not sheep then, are they? Duh!

      I have a few Apple products and I love my MBP. Watched the iPad video - I'm not impressed. I can't see it making my shopping list any time soon.

    3. John 104

      Correction

      I think you meant to say:

      Why on earth would anyone want an enormous, heavy and expensive iPhone that won't make a phone call?

    4. LinkOfHyrule
      Joke

      No but....

      You can take it roller-blading, sky diving or even white-water-rafting and feel confident all day! Maybe that explains why the invites to the 'ceremony' had splodges of liquid all over them?

    5. This post has been deleted by its author

    6. This post has been deleted by its author

    7. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Stereo?

      What would be the point of stereo speakers on a device like this?

  72. Hi Wreck
    Pint

    Wait for V2

    When they put the phone back in. Looking at the yute of today -- surfing and yacking -- this thing probably fits the bill of a netbook and phone all wrapped up in one. And as a road warrior who can't afford to call alot when traveling internationally, a phone and 'presentations' all in one box.

  73. Anonymous Coward
    FAIL

    iBook, iWork, iPhone apps, e-mail

    Don't care.

    If I could use the thing to write-compile-test code at least for it, I'll change to a partial pass

    Not holding my breath, though. I like breathing at least a few times a year.

    1. AFH100
      WTF?

      write compile???

      "If I could use the thing to write-compile-test code... "

      <peter griffin voice>yes. yes, that's exactly the market this product was designed for. yup. that's the one. right there. thaaaaat one.</griffin>

      1. This post has been deleted by its author

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Meh

          I can write-deliver an app on my Palm V for crying out loud. But it looks right now like wanting to do anything outside of what Apple allows, like running an in-house company app, will be verboten. Pass.

  74. Richard Lea

    Flash

    Now I know that a lot of web is changing to HTML5 but there is still a hell a lot of Flash out there.

    Its just a giant Ipod touch.

    Even tho being an Apple fan, typing on a Macbook Pro, listening to my iphone........ think i will steer well clear of this...like Google and China clear

  75. Kaemaril

    Hmm.

    Looks mildly interesting.I see that apparently some versions will have 3G, with AT&T the partner in the states.

    1) O2 over here?

    2) When will this be available in the UK? apple.com/uk has nothing so far ... :(

    3) Please can it have a decent RSS reader that caches web pages including the pics?

  76. Robert Hill
    Jobs Halo

    iPad...

    right down to the Apple store in my stocking feet to get in line for one of these!

    Seriously, EVERY ONE of the previous posters has missed what makes this special, AGAIN:

    It's the only tablet with an in-built micro-payment system (aka iTunes) and a few thousand mobile applications at launch. Yes, that is a game changer - that will bring serious portable media to the iPad, there are already a slew of iPhone games to play on it that will benefit immensely from a larger screen, etc. It will rock.

    As for why it is better than a phone, as anyone that has used an ereader knows, size DOES matter. My Sony 505 has a 7" screen, and it still struggles to properly format many pages readabily - a 9" would be much better. E-ink would be cool, but would utterly reduce it to JUST a portable book - no games or video. And there are already a few larger screened ereaders.

    Apple wins, yet again. And once again, it isn't about just the hardware itself...

    1. MattWPBS

      Uh-huh...

      Right, so the game changer is that you're tied to one online store, rather than being able to buy OSX programs from anywhere online?

    2. John 104
      FAIL

      Wrong

      Despite all you say, it still blows. Seriously. Did you even pay atention to the part you wrote about being tied into a micropayment system? Yep, lets line up to get nickeled and dimed to death ( or whatever pence and such you brits use :) )

      Its worse than a phone, worse than a netbook. It won't make a call and its going to be akward as hell to use unless you have it on a flat surface, and then I would imagine that it will have to be propped. 4:3 screen for movies? What the hell were they thinking?

      As for ebooks, mobi pocket readr for winmo does the trick nicely.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Jobs Horns

      padboi

      Hey Rob, Steve Jobs called to say thanks for the organ you donated.

    4. This post has been deleted by its author

  77. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    ..one for the ladeeeez?????

    Missus says she likes it and wants one (much more than her current netbook) .. maybe this is the first female only gadget (well apart from other 'niche' products)

    I reckon the ladies will be flocking to get one of these...

    Oh and people who just want to use a computer for email and let Apple think about the apps for them... no virus's is quite tempting.... how many netbooks can boast that...

    And no I'm not a fanboi....or maybe they're creating a market of fangirls....

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Marketing, marketing, marketing

      I can't believe even Reg readers are stupid enough to believe the nonsense about macs being completely impregnable to virus', and PCs having a lot of them.

      Blame windows, not PCs, OMFG the hardware architecture is exactly the same. I have a quad-boot (as in Linux, Drangonfly BSD, leopard, and 7) system right on this netbook, which I got for $300.

      It doesn't have an apple on it, yet it is much more secure than your overpriced mac gadgets.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Headmaster

      it's "fangrrlz"

      Please, keep the spieling strait!

    3. J 3
      Coat

      Mine

      "no virus's is quite tempting.... how many netbooks can boast that..."

      Mine can!

  78. Anonymous Coward
    Jobs Halo

    Hold your horses

    The iPad was not speciically designed for the sort of people who read The Register.

    I think the low cost (non 3G) 16GB version would be great for my 70 year old mother. OK, several web sites that require Flash might get her confused... other than that it should be ideal.

    Yes, it's a large iPhone / iPod Touch. No problem - no viruses, controlled environment, simple to use, hard to break (software wise).

    Initially, I thought it might give Sony's eBook or Amazon kindle a run for thier money - however, the 1024 x 768 display is either optimised for video / pictures or for matte reading. No problem - no one said Apple was perfect. I also worry about the issues between Google and Apple - YouTube not working is going to be a problem if the relationship breaks and Flash isn't supported.

    So hold the negativity and think who the device is aimed at. Sure it's not an Aston Martin, but a lot of people like the BMW Mini.

  79. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    netPad™

    Thank god they didn't call it the Apple netPad. Psion would be back onto the lawyers quicker than you can say, "No sir, we've never heard of one peeling before".

  80. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Hackintosh a Dell mini instead

    Buy yourself a Dell mini and a Copy of OSX for £20 or so. Hackintosh it, then you get the same size screen, a proper keyboard, a 160GB disk, camera and mike and a proper multitasking operating system. All for less than the entry ipad. No contest.

  81. Watashi

    Executive toy

    Everyone goes on about Apps, but the reason you need Apps is because you can't use an iPhone like you can a proper computer. If you can use the web properly, use Google apps or MS gadgets, or use other office products, most Apps immediately become redundant - all you end up doing is paying for things you can get elsewhere for free.

    Then there's the compromise - all the things you want to use an iPad for can be done either cheaper, smaller, faster, or better with other existing devices. It's too big to take on the PSP and DS, it has no keyboard and a small screen so you can't use it like a laptop, it's got a normal LCD screen so it’s not a proper eReader and you can't carry it around with you as easily as you can a Smartphone. It’s not a netbook because it’s too expensive (despite being no smaller), and it’s not a proper movie player because it has no built-in optical drive.

    Realistically, who’s going to shell out £500 (plus the cost of an extra mobile contract) for this? People with too much money, and there aren’t that many of those around at the moment. The iPod was revolutionary because it popularised the current generation of portable audio devices, and the iPhone was revolutionary because it was the first consumer friendly pocket-sized computer. What, exactly, is revolutionary about the iPad?

    Finally, all of you reading this on a laptop on the sofa, push the screen as far back as it will go and lean it back so it’s flat on your lap. Now, sit back in comfort in your chair. What can you see? That’s right… nothing!

  82. Simon Ward
    FAIL

    iPad becomes iFad ...

    Our MD will invariably be ordering one of these as soon as they become available in the UK, so I'll pass judgement on usability etc. once I've actually had a play with one (I'm the poor sod who'll have to do the setup etc.)

    From a personal point of view, however, iPhone OS=lockdown=no sale - if I want computing on the move I'll use my Dell Mini-10v

  83. Joey
    Jobs Halo

    Multitasking, Flash

    Multitasking is coming in iPhone OS 4, the iPad runs 3.2 at launch.

    Flash is old hat technology being replaced by (open source) HTML5, supported by Firefox 3.6, Google Chrome and Safari already.

    For all the naysayers, sit back and watch how to make money - but you will never learn!

  84. LeBeourfCurtaine
    FAIL

    iPeriod

    Yes, it's name conjures images of sanitary towels and hence must be aimed at those of us of a menstruating disposition....

  85. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    iPad - sounds smelly to me.

    "Pad" is the gujarati slang word for "excessive flatulence" - welcome to Apple's new iFart !!

  86. Kevin 6
    FAIL

    errm

    Isn't it just a jumbo Ipod Touch? The only really revolutionary thing Apple did here was take an existing product and enlarge it, whereas most companies shrink them instead.

    And for its price you can buy a tablet pc that runs real computer software not just iphone apps, and has 5 hour battery time.

  87. Blubster
    Thumb Down

    What a waste

    May as well buy one of those crappy Archos 'multimedia' devices - another product where you have to throw money at it to get it to work and be tied into their own brand of proprietary software.

  88. Chris Byers
    FAIL

    To big to be a travel companion

    I was hoping the iPad was to be a 7" device, something I could take on overnight business trips, so I could browse the web and answer some email on the train with a few multimidia features thrown in, but the fact that it is too big to fit in a inside jacket pocket keans I'm back to eyeing up a Lenovo X Series tablet. At least I'll get some freedom of choice out of that!

  89. MattyB
    Welcome

    As Usual......

    ...... A wonderful piece of engineering by Apple.

    The demo's that I've seen seem to show that Apple has taken a gamble on people not wanting to multi-task in favor of making sure that whatever you happen to be running runs smoothly.

    Personally, I'm in two minds. the 64GB version would be adequate to replace the personal laptop I carry around on business trips (ok, it's a macbook), but I'm not loving the idea of not being able to watch a movie while I web browse and clear up the days Emails.

    But, I can see a legitimate use for this device in my home. I spend hours a day with my laptop open, either web browsing or reading articles, often with the stereo or TV on. At times like this I could easily replace my laptop with this device. Unfortunately I can't see myself being able to do without the laptop during that one in ten time that I need to do more than one thing at once.

    End result (as I have just stated to the other half with puppy dog eyes) "I won't buy one for myself, but if somebody wants to buy me one I'm not gonna say no"

  90. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    Finally

    I'm not an apple fanboi, I dont own anything made by them (iPhone I might get if they stick a better camera in). When the touch came out I thought "if they scale that up, you'd end up somewhere near the pads they had in star trek TNG, which would be great". Tablet PCs never lived up to their original concept, and unless things have changed, they were way too expensive. Netbooks are just crap laptops. I think the iPad fills a gap somewhere in there, and is more or less how I imagined it would be.

    Yeah the single tasking is bollocks, their app model makes a techie scream for a jailbreak. But if they can avoid pricing it the same as the USD value in GBP I could consider thinking about maybe possibly deciding to consider buying one. I hope this doesnt make me a girl.

    1. Sorry that handle is already taken. Silver badge

      Could be worse

      It's better than iTampon.

    2. Peter Gathercole Silver badge
      FAIL

      HTML5?

      You've not been reading the Reg. properly. HTML5 is far from done-and-dusted, as it relies on the underlying codecs being in the browser, and there being arguments about H.264 and Ogg Vorbis.

      BTW. H.264 is not open source. Even though it's freely available It is patented. This is something quite different.

  91. Cliff

    Coooooooolllll!!!!111!!!1!

    But I'll add a keyboard to be useful, maybe I could use the keyboard to protect the screen when not in use too! Oh, wait, I've already got one.

  92. nsld
    Paris Hilton

    Phone not included for safety reasons

    If you tried to answer that brick you would knock yourself out!

    "iPad, we are taking the piss and mopping it up for you"

    Cue woman in pink lycra on roller skates

    Paris on the skates!

  93. Anonymous Coward
    Boffin

    Design Flaws

    Does anyone know if the iPad suffers from a lack of removable battery and/or a lack of storage expandability? In other words, can you get a 16GB model and replace/add flash to it to boost it up to 64GB? Can one swap batteries?

  94. Anonymous Coward
    FAIL

    iFail to see the niche.

    I'll enjoy watching this one crash and burn.

  95. Chris Reynolds
    Stop

    Too crippled for me

    Echoing many other posters, the lack of Flash or Multitasking makes this a miss for me. Wife is doing a Masters and flips between online resources and her word processor when doing coursework. If this can't multi-task then she'll just stick with her Dell Mini 9 and iPod Mini.

    I'd want this for casual web surfing (amongst other things) and the lack of Flash means that I can't "see web pages as they were meant to be seen" (to quote apple.com.)

    Finally (and this is not a complaint, just an honest reason why I'd not go for it yet) its form-factor means it won't fit into my iPod docks. My iPod sits in my car's glovebox broadcasting to the stereo and at home it sits in my Sounddock. I'd hope there'll be an accessory to cope with this.

    So I'll stick with my laptop, iPod Nano and paper book for now. Fix Flash and Multi-tasking and I'll consider this.

  96. Paul Lingwood
    Coat

    Jesus Pad?

    Moses Tablet

  97. andrew wavey
    Thumb Down

    hmm

    Just another toy for the kids, it's not a large version of iphone, it's a large version of the itouch. I was looking forward to this but now that there is nothing for wordprocessing or stylus, what is the point.

    it would have been nice to do up a doc, grab the stylus, sign your name, then send it out.

    apple really needs to make these big toys corporate friendly.

  98. Anonymous Coward
    WTF?

    meh

    man bags... I hate those fucking things... and now there's a reason to carry them... arrgh.. hate the fucking things even more now...

    1. sT0rNG b4R3 duRiD
      Thumb Up

      Agree

      Moses Tablet it is...

      Any more concur?

      Or we could always call it the iPlank

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        iFlop

        Or iSlate, because it's getting one. Perhaps even iSuck. I'll run with Moses tablet though.

  99. Andrew Newstead

    Business as usual I see...

    As usual we see the traditional split that occurs when Apple products are discussed, the Yeas rejoicing and the Nays slagging off - both without much evidence that their positions are justified.

    I think that the merits or otherwise of this device will be decided when people finally get hold of one and play with it and use it. I believe this is how the iPhone took off.

    My position? I've learned not to get too excited about any new piece of kit until I've had a chance to use it and I've been around since the Apple 2s and the original DOS PCs.

  100. Gilbo
    Grenade

    Haha

    So many blinkered people here judging a book by its cover, and usually I'd be the first to slag off Apple. This is the hardware, people, most likely announced prematurely cos of a) hp & ms and b) rumours.

    If you lot can't see this as a huge, hardware precursor to a iPhone/iPad/iPod Touch v4 OS coming imminently then, I'm sorry, you all need your heads examined.

  101. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Just had a thought

    iBook Store will have ePub books. I'd bet my hat they have DRM. So are they going with (integrated?) Adobe Digital Editions or are they going in-house with their own DRM?

  102. bruceld
    Thumb Down

    I never have any idea what to put as a title...

    Don't worry. Apple is innovative. They'll put the multitasking and phone version in the iPad 2G. This is why they don't make their products upgradable because they wouldn't be able to sell their next version or product or new product.

    I'll stick with my iPod Touch. It seems to do everything I need when I'm on the road.

  103. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    @Joey

    "Flash is old hat technology being replaced by (open source) HTML5, supported by Firefox 3.6, Google Chrome and Safari already."

    HTML 5 video is being beta tested on some sites to replace Flash. But for sites like Kongregate or for sites which use Flash for animation purposes, it's going nowhere.

  104. Slurp
    Alert

    Hang on... wasn't there another product with this name?!?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YFNQE_TzQNI

    1. Ammaross Danan
      FAIL

      Well

      Apparently you missed the numerous articles here on The Reg that go over the current Fail that is HTML5 video. Some developing bodies want to make money and push a hardware-accelerated codec. Others want a free codec so they can develop cost-effective browsers and editing tools. Since it's all up in the air at the moment, we're in for another round of IE5/6 vs. browser-community-at-large non-standard-DOM type battle.

  105. Mikey
    Thumb Down

    You what?

    It would appear the ideas monkies at Apple have finally run out of imagination. This is essentially an iPod Touch for the hard of seeing. Or the 'My First Mac' line of kids toys.

    Aside from the bigger screen and itunes, show me something it can do that my N900 can't.

  106. Max Jalil

    Hahahahahhahahaha

    a aha ahaha

    -no, realy. Let them eat apple (and leave me with my Z88 and Pipedream)

  107. Glenn Amspaugh
    Headmaster

    The only problem with it...

    ... is that it does not appear able to stream music/video wirelessly from a machine with an iTunes collection. I have 350 or so movies ripped to m4v, collected in iTunes on a Mac mini. My AppleTV and various Macs around the house can all stream movies from this system but my iPods and iPhone; they all have to be physically connected to iTunes system and then have a subset of items synced to them. Was really hoping iPad would not have this limitation but looks like I hoped in vain. Maybe version 3 will have that.

    And a video camera somewhere on there. That would be cool.

  108. mrweekender
    Welcome

    This is the future..

    ..and this will be the type of device kids use in and out of schools. Have you seen the education software you can get for the iTouch, oh and just a few other things - no viruses, parental controls, intuitive software, books available, music, podcasts from iTunes U, could be used as a reward system, games system etc, etc, - sorry but I would not hesitate to buy something like this for my child and she would absolutely love it - hell I'd love it. Jobs is right about netbooks they're shit I know I've spent 12 months watching the market from an educators perspective. I think Apple have got it bang on.

    The world is not flat you morons - LOOK AGAIN!

    1. Captain Save-a-ho
      FAIL

      Apparently the world is flat...

      http://www.theregister.co.uk/2009/11/08/iphone_worm_rickrolls_users/print.html

      What was that about no viruses?

    2. Anonymous Coward
      FAIL

      This is the future?

      "This will be the type of device kids use in and out of schools."

      mmm... I guess most parents would have zero trouble shelling out 500USD just so that their kids are able to do their homeworks. Ah, and for sure it has got a stylus to learn writing, right? right?

      In my country, we are using a revolutionary technology called "paper notepad" - no virus, easy parental control, very intuitive to use, can be used for games as well as for work. My niece got several with color pencils, and she absolutely loves it - hell, I do love it. Did I say that the price range is around 5USD?

      The "great educational tool" is just a cheap excuse to (1) justify buying a costly geek toy and (2) dismiss more of the educative mission to a piece of technology.

      1. The Fuzzy Wotnot
        WTF?

        Kids? With this? Are you serious?!

        Jesus wept! Mine have DS's a cheap £80 toy, the number of times I moan at them to have some respect for it and stop dropping it and leaving it about for someone else to sit on!

        Flipping heck, they have trouble looking after pencils and paper, do you really think I would trust them with a £1000 toy like this?! Not unless I win next week's rollover!

      2. mrweekender
        Unhappy

        WTF

        Are you retarded?

  109. Anonymous Coward
    Joke

    iPleb

    New word: describe the idiots who'll shell out good money for something that makes you look a tit!

    Right I'm trademarking that before you lot get in...

  110. Dru Richman

    G-d love the Brits and the Reg

    Can we hop inside the Wayback® Machine and go back to January of 2007? Go read all the initial post from pundits, nitwits, and folks just like you, who belched that there was no way, no possible way, that Apple was ever going to make it in the smartphone business. Go back a few years earlier and read how Apple was going to crash and be burnt to a crisp upon entering the MP3 player market.

    You might not have noticed but Apple is a major player in the MP3 player and smartphone business. They sell more music than any retailer in the US. Their smartphone app store, with over 140,000 apps, has sold/downloaded over 3 Billion apps. This product is built on the shoulder of those two outstanding products [Yes, we already know how you feel about Apple, it's products, and it's methods of conducting business. But the public has spoken, loudly, about which company it wants to buy it's electronics from.]

    The price point is right. The form factor is right. The applications are in place as of today. Apple is going to sell millions of these things—even if you think they're trash. My advise: You may not buy the iPad, but I would scamper down to my stockbroker and buy as much Apple stock as possible. This is yet another opportunity for Apple to print money.

    1. whiteafrican
      FAIL

      @Dru Richman... Err...

      There's one massive, MASSIVE, huge, gaping hole in your theory there, old son, and it is this: The iPhone fitted into an identifiable market, for an existing need. It provided a simple way to make calls, listen to music, and surf the net. Phones of that nature had been around for a while, and Apple improved on some of the existing tech. People bought iPhones because they needed a phone, and the iPhone is a good phone. Same with the iPod. There was a pre-existing market in portable music players (mp3 players, cd players, minidisc players, walkmen, etc.) going way back. People bought iPods because they wanted a music player.

      The trouble is, this iPad thing has no identifiable market and meets no existing need. Who (besides the obvious fanbois) is going to choose an underpowered tablet with a phone OS to do something they need to do? Want to make phone calls? - unless you're calling Dom Jolly, this iPad is no good. Want to edit documents, type *anything*, run some useful software (photoshop, dreamweaver, etc.) - then you'll be wanting a real computer. Want a convenient gaming device? - then you're after a PSP or a NintendoDS (or you could always play games on the iPad, but given the lack of buttons and the prevalence of accelerometer use in iPhone games, your arms will get REALLY tired from twisting the iPad all over the place. Also, it'll be SO easy to drop the silly thing). Want a really good reading device? - then you want a Kindle - it has much better battery life, and the screen won't be nearly so hard on your eyes.

      The point is, the iPad doesn't offer anything better than the existing tech, and combines the drawbacks of phones (weak OSs and weak peripheral support) with the drawbacks of netbooks (weak processors, and size/weight that force you to carry a bag). The price is expensive. The form factor is a bit silly (seriously, no handwriting input and no Wacom pressure-sensitive stylus for artwork? there go two MASSIVE markets in education and the arts). The applications are phone apps - they are mostly novel timewasters and the ones that aren't are inferior to anything you could run on a netbook. Apple screws these things up all the time. This iPad thing will go the way of the Apple TV, the Pippin and the G4 cube (and they were all probably better products for their time than the iPad is...).

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Thumb Down

      @Yank

      "the public has spoken, loudly, about which company it wants to buy it's electronics from"

      Yes, that's why nearly 95% of internet connected devices are NOT made by Apple (http://marketshare.hitslink.com/report.aspx?qprid=8)

      "another opportunity for Apple to print money"

      Really? I've heard that printing lots of money eventually leads to problems (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hyperinflation_in_Zimbabwe)

      I don't think I'll be buying any Apple stock right now.

      1. Rolf Howarth

        Hyperinflation?

        I'm not sure I understand your point. Inflation is caused by debt. Apple aren't in debt, quite the opposite, they're sitting on a pile of cash bigger than many countries' GDP.

        "95% of devices aren't by Apple". First, that chart is for computer OS's, not mobile devices. Secondly, so what? Apple care much more about profit share, mind share, and making great products, than market share. General Motors sell about 10x as many cars as BMW... which company would you prefer to own shares in?

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          @Hyperinflation?

          "Inflation is caused by debt"

          I was responding to a metaphor with a tongue-in-cheek extension of that metaphor. I'm sorry if this confused you. Are you also American?

          "that chart is for computer OS's, not mobile devices"

          Au contraire, if you look a little beyond the title, it lists iPhone, iPod Touch, Symbian, Blackberry, and Nintendo DS to name but a few.

          "Apple care much more about profit share, mind share, and making great products, than market share"

          This may well be true, but I was responding to the claim by Dru Richman that "the public has spoken, loudly, about which company it wants to buy it's electronics from". The previously noted fact contradicts his assertion.

          " "95% of devices aren't by Apple" "

          Please don't put quotation marks around words I haven't written. What I actually wrote was "nearly 95% of internet connected devices are NOT made by Apple". I know the meaning is similar, but if you're putting quotation marks round it, that implies a direct quote, not a paraphrasing. Moreover, I stand by this claim based on the original reference.

      2. mrweekender
        FAIL

        Take a look..

        ..at the education market.

  111. Chad H.
    Alert

    Not for me, but they'll sell a few

    I can actually see a few situations where it might be useful. You want to be productive on the train/plane/Carpool and using a full fledged laptop is to uncomortable, or to shut up the kids with a mini media centre in the back seat.

    Not for me, and I think the Analysts sales predictions are WAY off, but I think there is a market there.

  112. Spooner_Man
    Unhappy

    iTunes

    Argh...why oh why do you need (another) PC/Mac with iTunes in order to use this thing??!

    If it was full OSX I would have bought one in a flash.

  113. lipong
    WTF?

    Unbelievable not a single positive comment!

    This discussion is just full of jealous people, most likely programmers and IT admins and the like that never had and ever will have a clue about the design and functionality of a mass consumer product. It true that apple is a monopolistic company that as a tight grip on every aspect of the products they release (something that any company would do if they could), that does not however means that they are not technology pioneers. It is true that the ipad is not much more that a modified version of an iphone but is that a bad? From personal experience I have in many occasions (sofa, plane+train+bus) felt like having a device with a big enough screen where I could use the internet, read a book,etc. That is scenario where the ipad is going to fit.

    The device is not more that apple's take on a netbook but with the an user friendly interface and full of features that will be customised for the device and its perceived functions. Much in the same way that the iphone as changed the mobile phone with features like for example: visual voicemail, good internet browsing ability, fast files search and great multi-touch screen, also the ipad is going to change the netbook model.

    As for those that were expecting a total revolutionary product, just look at the ipod example when it was lunched it was not more that a mp3 player similar to many others, the reasons why it was a success was the details, the UI and by being user friendly.

  114. BinaryDad
    Thumb Up

    Oh dear.

    ...I think many of the commenters on here have missed the point entirely with the "wtf? no multi-tasking? It's shit" posts.

    Quite frankly, like most of Apples products, it's not aimed at a vocal minority with poor personal hygiene, who are only interested in hardware specs, and other things that 99.9% of the planet couldn't care less about.

    The fact that a bunch of misguided, unwashed, stuck in the past misogynists who are fast seeing their last remaining bastion of superiority (the superior knowledge of everybody's computer) won't hurt Apple one bit. It's the sheer fact that it's aimed as the uninformed, casual user that will make it a success.

    You lot can stick to your outdated systems. The rest of the world marches on, thankfully without the sour smell of your body odor as you jump up and down in front of them about how much more you know about their computer than they do. You tools.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Unbelievable not a single positive comment!

      Because only the dumb suckers are taken in by Apple's bling sale.

    2. Jolyon

      I'd use one if I had one

      I already spend quite a bit of time surfing, emailing etc on an iPod touch (which I don't use for music unless it is to stream it from a home NAS to a stereo with a dock).

      The same interface witrh bigger screen is just a winner for me.

      I don't care at all about Apple control of the device, I doubt the lack of multi-tasking will bother me and not having flash is a minor irritant at worst as I already block almost all of it in Firefox and seldom miss it.

      There may well be far too many Apple zealotards but that doesn't mean they can't make good products and credit where it is due, this thing looks like it will have a role in my house.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Thumb Down

      Oh dear indeed

      I'm afraid you, BinaryDad, are the tool.

      The drawbacks if the previous iShit offerings don't matter because they relate to things that are not primary functions. The phone can't play flash but that's OK because you're going to carry a phone anyway and net browsing is a second function. Can't multitask and the procesor is slow on the pod but that's ok because its a music player, all the stuff like games are secondary functions.

      This is being touted as a do-all for everyone, a 'mobile video-watching, book-reading, game-playing, photo-perusing, music-listening, web-surfing, and email-emailing device.'

      - It's a movie watcher except that the 4:3 screen format is dinosaur tech.

      - It's an ebook reader but the screen is the wrong technology. ebooks as an idea went nowhere until an alternative for back-lit came along.

      - It's a game player except that it has a netbook processor.

      - It's a photo viewer except that the screen resolution is rather low.

      - It's a music player and an emailer but not at the same time.

      - It's a web surfer but not for a vast swathe of the internet and I need yet another monthly drain on my pocket because I can't make calls with it.

      - It's not even got the legendary apple design chic. The phone had the screen to 2 edges from the start, something other manufacturers have only recently matched. If the Pad were the size of its screen you might have a chance of getting it in a pocket

      It's not a device genre people are already commonly carrying, it's an extra device apple want us to choose to carry. Thus it needs to be more perfect than the iPhone or iPod, we're going to carry a phone and/or music player anyway, apple just need us to choose theirs. The iPad truly is a jack of all trades and master of none and deserves to burst the iEverything bubble.

      IMO it needed to be 16:9 format, a little smaller than an Ordnance Survey map so it fits in an outdoor jacket map pocket or suit jacket inside pocket, have the screen to the edge on 3 sides, able to use text apps such as email or doc processing at the same time as playing music and forget the ebook eye strain maker. Then the slow processor so limited gaming wouldn't matter and better that than a whizzy game chip but even poorer battery life

  115. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    No Flash = win

    Have you ever experienced Flash on OS X?

    It's crap. Adobe should be ashamed of themselves. It's slow and buggy as hell, and it WILL bring your browser down. It'll also consume vast amounts of memory and monopolise your processor.

    It's a pig's ear. Fortunately no right-thinking adult has any use for it.

  116. Henry Wertz 1 Gold badge

    Network meltdown

    $30 unlimited data? Holy hell, AT&T's network is already melting down, this is really not going to help. (Disclaimer, I do not have AT&T service.)

  117. Andy Enderby 1
    Grenade

    game changer ?

    A game changer ? Really ? Palm has done multi tasking for a while, combined with all the usual gubbins in one package. iWhiteElephant.

  118. OrsonX
    Paris Hilton

    27th January

    Gadget Porn Day :)

  119. Anonymous Coward
    Jobs Horns

    iTampax or iPantyLiner?

    I wonder...

  120. Henry Wertz 1 Gold badge

    re: Fashion Victim tax

    @Jack 4, re:

    "Want to bet that the price will drop a few hundred dollars after a few months once Apple soaks the early buyers with a "Fashion Victim" tax, just like they did with the iPhone when it was first released?"

    ...

    I'm not an Apple fan -- AT ALL -- but this is completely normal in the telecom industry (at least in the US). Even the Motorola Razr, it was nearly $1000 new (and maybe $600 with a contract), but in about a year it was "free with contract". If a phone (or in this case, a 3G-using device) comes out you WILL get soaked for it if you buy it right away.

  121. Rolf Howarth
    Thumb Up

    Very interesting

    This looks like it could be a VERY interesting consumer device.

    Sure, tablets in one form or another have been around for ages, but they were the kind of thing spotty faced geeks might play with for a bit and soon get bored with because they couldn't do anything useful with them, not the sort of thing your wife or g/f or kids or mom will be lusting after and putting top of their Christmas lists for the next few years, and trust me, they WILL lust after the iPad. Big time. Minimalist styling and a silky smooth design that fits smoothly in the hand is EXACTLY what they want. Better start saving now...

    "Only a big iPod Touch"... right. So what from a marketing perspective is wrong with that? Any idea exactly how many iPods are out there, and how many millions and millions of people are already familiar with the interface? Not to mention 100,000 apps available for it from day one.

    No camera and video iChat? This is the 1st gen device, they're here for the long haul. And that's before you factor in things like eBooks and micropayments for magazine subscriptions.

    I too was a bit underwhelmed when I first saw the specs, but the more I think about it the more convinced I am this will be HUGE and that in 3 or 4 years the iPad will be as ubiquitous as iPods are today.

  122. Anonymous Coward
    WTF?

    Is this Apples Windows Millenium Ediition or Apple TV Revisited

    Oh, the short memories....

    Apple doesnt always suceed!

    Newton, Apple TV, and now Ipad

    Is this Apples Windows Millenium Ediition or Vista?

    Can we now start talking about the next real inovation from apple, or do we have to wait till next year!?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      The iPad is equipped with that essential extra...

      ... iWings

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Happy

      No flash

      Flash no longer displays automatically - you get a box that says "Flash" and unless you click on it, the browser won't even try to load it.

      (I think this is the default but maybe I installed some addon - I can't remember)

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        No flash

        You probably installed 'clicktoflash' (or something similar). It's very handy.

        I love how a 300x400 Flash game can hog 80% of the CPU on a dual core 2.66 GHz OS X system.

    3. Fred Flintstone Gold badge

      No, the porn version is..

      .. the iPaddle, obviously.

      El Reg, as an aside, predicting the name is obviously a huge feat given the astronomically vast amounts of options available..

      :-)

    4. Fred Flintstone Gold badge

      It won't be huge, sorry

      There may be *different* versions, but I think the size will stay the same :-)

      Being US I assume it's going to be letter format, which begs the question if there will be a European A4 one.

    5. DPWDC

      RE:iTampax or iPantyLiner

      iPon?

  123. Emelia
    WTF?

    Where is the Camera ?

    This could replace my laptop for holidays etc Internet, mail, but no camera for video calling ?

    http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/frantic_steve_jobs_stays_up

    Hit or miss ?

    Miss.

  124. Anonymous Coward
    Happy

    I think you're all missing the point

    this is a momentous occasion - after years of miniaturising, this novelty is a BIGGER version of an earlier product. I want a room-sized server.

  125. Anonymous Coward
    Badgers

    Just an iphone ..

    for the short-sighted?

  126. Nic 3
    Thumb Up

    Looks great

    It always amazes me, the rush to knock something like this. To me it looks great. To most people I have spoken to about it it looks great. I know of at least 8 people who will buy this as soon as it is available in the UK including me.

    Am I a Sheep? It would be satisfying to consider me as such wouldn't it?

    Nope, I am a consumer. Yes I am fairly wealthy so I am happy to use some disposable income on this. I will also no doubt buy plenty of apps for it (as well as the apps I have on my iPhone). No i wont be buying Fart/Bubble-wrap apps. I will buy some games, also some useful business utilities and others just for a 99p punt.

    I am also technically savvy (web developer with 12 years experience) which means I am aware of plenty of devices that perform similar tasks and some more. What those other devices miss and what Apple have been able to nail for the last few years is making a piece of consumer electronics a pleasure to use. The iPhone is a pleasure to use and the iPad looks the same too.

    I don't NEED one but I can afford one and it will fill a nice little gap. My wife and I will no doubt use it to casually browse the web around the house, access our music and watch vids.

    I can also see a strong use in a sales environment.

    We could all be driving Vauxhall Corsas. They get you from A to B, they are cheap and pretty reliable. However some cars are more attractive and more of a pleasure to drive. They are also more expensive but plenty of people are willing to pay a bit more for the increased satisfaction.

    Silly sheep...

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Silly Fanboi.

      Which sums up Apple's core market really, people with too much disposable income and no better reason for buying anything than it looks pretty.

      Oh, and you've just confirmed my long held belief that web developers are tech imbeciles (having employed several over the years).

      1. Fred Flintstone Gold badge

        Nonsense

        Someone with a degree of technical competence has just the same variables as someone else deciding on a new device: will it work for me. If "will it work" includes "joining a club" or "being seen with one", well, hurray for you.

        I simply decide if it has a function for me. I could use an easy - immediately on - device for reference material so I'm interested. I was also interested in the Kindle but this has more screen estate and can do more, although I doubt I'd got for the 3G version (I wonder if you could you hook it up to an iPhone for tethering?).

        As for web dev being tech imbeciles, I think the only thing you demonstrated with that statement is that you shouldn't be put in charge of employing people :-).

      2. Nic 3
        Stop

        title

        imbecile with a very successful web development company. I employ plenty too.

    2. whiteafrican
      FAIL

      @Nic 3

      OK, we're not rushing to knock this because of its looks (although th excessive bezel looks a bit odd). We're knocking the concept. It's a phone, the size of a laptop (also available in cheaper, crappier, non-phone version). We did away with oversize phones in the 90s, and they now exist only for comedy purposes. Which is why clowns will buy the iPad.

      If you're a web developer, WHY are you even looking at this thing?! Will it run Dreamweaver? No. Will it run flash? No. Will it run Java? No. Will it be comfortable to type code on? I'll let you physical therapist's bill for dealing with your RSI answer that question... but hey, the iPad's got HTML5. Awesome - except that by the time HTML5 matures into something useful, this iPad will be old hat. And expensive old hat at that.

      As for the Vauxhall Corsa argument, you're looking at this the wrong way. You're comparing the Corsa to another car, whereas you can't compare the iPad to anything in the same category. It can't compete with your phone (because it's too big) and it can't compete with your laptop (because it's too underpowered). Therefore, in your analogy, you're not choosing between a Vauxhall Corsa and another car, you're going to have to buy both. Sure, you have the disposable income to do it, and that's your choice. Personall, I do too, but if I'm going to buy another tablet, it'll be an upgrade for my existing HP tc1100 that actually does some useful stuff like, you know, multitasking, Photoshop (with pressure-sensitive input), Word (with handwriting recognition)...

      SO, yeah, silly sheep is pretty much spot on.

      1. Nic 3

        its not a computer

        stop comparing it to a computer. Its a device. I have a PC and a laptop to develop on.

        You missed the point with my comparison. I suppose i was trying to say people are prepared to spend more money on something that is a pleasure to use.

    3. John Hughes
      Unhappy

      Bigger screen is not for shortsighted....

      ... it's for the longsighted.

      Shortsighted people have no problem at all staring at tiny things close up.

      (Having passed the half-century I now have the joys of both problems).

    4. DPWDC
      Jobs Horns

      iHovercraft

      The Corsa Argument - not quite right is it...

      For this, the annalogy would more along the lines of:

      :Phone is a boat - it is good on water

      :PC is a car - is good on land

      :iPad is a hovercraft, doesn't really excel on water OR land but you can just about get by on either, and oh look, aren't I cool, I own an iHovercraft!

      1. Nic 3

        title

        I'd probably quite like a hovercraft ;-)

        I don't understand where the look cool argument comes from either? Sure soem might be interested in the image. Me no. I wan't a gadget to be a pleasure to use. I don't care if I am seen with it. Besides which I would consider the ipad to be something to use around the house not out on the street.

        My Corsa argument probably suites the iPhone better than the iPad so I concede your point.

  127. Gareth Gouldstone
    Happy

    History repeating, perhaps

    I love the last line of this article!

    http://www.theregister.co.uk/2006/12/23/iphone_will_fail/page2.html

  128. Grubby
    Grenade

    i-havenothingtoputhere

    It looks like an upgrade from the ipod touch, if you're a giant it is anyway. I like the look of it, all Apple things look nice and are well built so it will be a success, they could release the i-shoebox and everyone would want one, not because they need one, but because it's an 'apple' shoe box...

    Don't know if I'd spend $500 on one (which when it comes here will still be £500, thanks tax man), it looks nice, and has a lot of useful features. But you're not going to carry it under your arm, so you'll need a bag and the 10 hour battery life will be a maximum assuming you dont actually do much with it or use the 3g, so you'll need a charger. so.. I'll be carrying a bag that's big enough for my charger, my ipad, headphones... err, i-think i'll use my laptop.

  129. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Slow burner

    Apart from the fact I really, really detest the whole locked down thing (to the point buying one is a non starter), I've surprised my self by quite warming to the idea for what it is. As an easy to hand device to grab and browse or watch a film, or review some work docs it seems like a good enough idea. But it's no use for replacing a laptop for anything remotely heavyweight, and for me it's not portable enough, which rather puts it in the bracket of something for those with an excess of money.

    I suspect that it'll be like the iPod, which took two or three years to take off, but when it did so it did it big time. Like the Ipod more storage and a better price will probably be the key, although given what it is, 3g as standard would seem to be a minimum also.

    But I suspect for a lot of us the lock in will be the deal breaker for a long time to come.

    1. Goat Jam
      Pint

      The Fail that keeps on Failing

      LOL. I remember reading that article at the time and think, "hmmmm, well see I suppose"

      I just re-read it and almost every single sentence is an Epic Fail in its own right.

      Great stuff.

      Beer for Bill Ray because you can't always get it right, Bill.

  130. Elsie
    FAIL

    TouchOn Steroids

    Personally speaking, I really don't see the point of this I-Pod Touch on steroids. Besides the fact I could buy books to use on this device, it has nothing new.

    No multi-tasking so you're stuck doing one thing at a time.

    No camera so you can't use it as a Skype device

    No memory card slot so you're stuck at the size you buy.

    Although it has a promised 10 hour battery life you can't replace the battery ... unless you send it back to Apple for an expensive swap.

    The iPad is touted as giving you the best web experience ... yet it cannot play Flash, something that millions of pages use as standard.

    You have to pay an extra $130 to get a 3G slot ... and then goodness knows how much for a SIM and data contract.

    I was really looking forward to something new, something exciting but the iPad for me is a huge let down. I would rather stick with my fully functional, flash capable, expandable, 120gb, camera equipped £180 netbook (with a proper keyboard) than go for this Apple product.

    It won't fail as there are too many Apple sycophants that will see the iPad as a life changing gadget that they can't live without and they'll buy it without thinking. And that's a shame.

  131. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Down

    After years of waiting..........

    Steve Jobs unveils a bigger iPhone.

    1. Ted
      Boffin

      Oops, you forgot to think.

      It's a real shame you got all of your comments wrong.

      You can't do multitasking yet, it eats batteries but you have push notification so it allows apps to run in the background,

      You can use skype, but just without video. A camera eats batteries don't forget.

      No, you have the entire internet as a hard drive, or any wireless hard drive through an Apple Airport. So even the 16GB model is plenty.

      All batteries on all Apple products are replaceable, you would never need to send it to Apple for a new battery, that was just a myth.

      Well, Flash isn't an open standard, plus it eats batteries, so HTML 5 will fill that need as we move away from Flash.

      $130 for 3G is about right, and the data plan is $14.99 a month.

      Yeah, but a NetBook is going to have a crappy screen, it's only going to run Windows, it will be super slow and have far less software.

      I can tell you really want an iPad, but are trying to lie to yourself about problems that don't exist.

      Watch the Keynote... it will help you decide...

      http://www.apple.com/quicktime/qtv/specialevent0110/

    2. Anonymous Coward
      FAIL

      surely some mistake!

      Elsie wrote: "The iPad is touted as giving you the best web experience ... yet it cannot play Flash, something that millions of pages use as standard."

      I'll correct that for you "The iPad is touted as giving you the best web experience ... which is why it doesn't play Flash. A pile of poo used only by the most annoying web pages"

    3. Anonymous Coward
      WTF?

      Do feel free to not buy it, then.

      "No multi-tasking so you're stuck doing one thing at a time."

      Seriously, how often is this going to be a real issue on a mobile device? As with the iPhone I'd expect that you can listen to music in the background while reading a book and still have calendar alarms and alerts for incoming e-mails, which is probably about as much multi-tasking as you are likely to need.

      "No camera so you can't use it as a Skype device"

      No, you can't use it as a Skype *Video* device. You do know Skype was a voice-only service when it started and it still works as one. Personally, I can count the number of video calls I've made on Captain Hook's bad hand.

      "No memory card slot so you're stuck at the size you buy."

      Yes, bit of a bummer that and oddly enough happens to be a trait that it shares with scores of other mobile devices including a lot of netbooks.

      "Although it has a promised 10 hour battery life you can't replace the battery ... unless you send it back to Apple for an expensive swap."

      Par for the course for Apple. That said, I have a six year old Sony laptop that I've never taken the battery out of and two spare batteries for an old Nokia that are pretty much unused, so I don't know how big a problem this would be, I doubt you would use this for any critical activities; it's more likely to be an inconvenience.

      "The iPad is touted as giving you the best web experience ... yet it cannot play Flash, something that millions of pages use as standard."

      And millions of people berate as hateful. Seriously, Adobe can't even be bothered to write a 64-bit version for Windows or even fix the bugs in the 32-bit version, it really is time to start phasing it out. And if you have a look at other news stories it looks like YouTube have started already.

      "You have to pay an extra $130 to get a 3G slot ... and then goodness knows how much for a SIM and data contract."

      If you read the story it's in there. And it's without contract.

      "I would rather stick with my fully functional, flash capable, expandable, 120gb, camera equipped £180 netbook"

      Hold on, you were working in dollars a minute ago...

      But, you know, good on you. You stick with your kit and keep telling yourself that. And don't let anyone tell you that their Toyota Yaris is a better vehicle than your Trabant, they do the same things and you have the advantage of being able to make your own paper-mache body panels instead of the Toyota's expensive made-in-a-factory ones.

      "It won't fail as there are too many Apple sycophants that will see the iPad as a life changing gadget that they can't live without and they'll buy it without thinking"

      Fortunately there will be a huge number of Apple partisans who will not buy it without thinking to help offset them a bit.

      Damn, I promised myself I wouldn't do this.

      Can we have an Unfail icon?

      1. Fred Flintstone Gold badge

        Full marks ..

        .. for mentioning Trabant, grin, haven't heard that one for a while.

        However, I'm not going to jump straight in either - I wait until the fanboys have debugged the thing :-)

    4. Fred Flintstone Gold badge

      You can do batt replacements yourself

      The guys at ifixit will sell you a decent kit with idiot proof instructions on how to swap out the battery. Worth a visit IMHO - it's what made me decide to buy the iPhone.

      I tend to buy gadgets for a couple of years because I actually *use* them. I know that makes me slightly unusual, but I'm not going to change that :-)

  132. uhuznaa
    Thumb Up

    I love it...

    The comments, I mean: "It's just for retard consumers and girls! Stupid end users! You can't do real work on it!! And it has no Flash, so I will never buy it!!!

    Delicious.

    By the way: There is a rather cool keyboard-dock for it and you can also use BT keyboards. And there will be iWork for it. I think for the average home or casual user (or a geek in casual mode) this is quite a perfect thing to have. Especially since there will (judging from the iPhone and the iPod touch) be exactly zero effort required to keep the thing running and happy and configured. And it seems to run on a charge for 10 hours and keeps up in standby for a month.

    I really can't see what's wrong with that. Even the name reminds me much more of the IBM Thinkpad than of female items. But probably all the "geeks" here have never heard about a "Thinkpad".

    Well done, Apple.

    I have never understood what's so great about nursing along your tools all day long. I work with and at computers and software 10 to 12 hours a day and I'm rather happy when I can just use something for a change. But that's just me, probably.

  133. CADmonkey
    FAIL

    I saw that years ago....

    ...on Trigger happy Tv, wasn't it?

    "Hello!!!!......I'm at the opera......no, it's crap!!!"

  134. Justin Stringfellow
    FAIL

    how do you actually use it though?

    OK so it's a large ipod touch. So I could (if I owned one) pick up an ipod touch with one hand and operate the touch screen with the other hand. This thing is a lot bigger though... so where does it go? flat on a table? flat on your lap? Sorry but my neck isn't up to craning over at that angle.

  135. ZenCoder

    This is going to be a fun product.

    I bought a first gen iPod touch after playing with my friends for a few minutes. It cost a lot more than my previous mp3 player but it was just that much fun. I have fun with it every day.

    I will have to play with an iPad to find out if I'll want one or not, but I suspect that it might be what finally convinces me to start reading eBooks. The ipod touch seems like it would be the perfect reader in every way except size.

  136. vincent himpe

    it has a microphone , but no video camera ..

    that's a dealbreaker for me. Even the shittiest phone or net book has one of those.

  137. Ivan Hallworth
    Happy

    Good enough is good enough!

    Congratulations to Apple on your new baby, time will tell if you have 'done it again.'

    Nothing is ideal and this seems like a good enough is good enough solution.

    It does create a new niche. We'll have to see if this matters, grows and is a sustainable niche.

    Perhaps its really a fun/useful iPhone line media player extension that sits between iPhone and MacBooks, more on the iPhone side? A plus one at the moment rather than a replace for both?

    iBooks looks good and its going to be interesting to see how it fares with Kindle and others.

    Appears to sit in the middle of the Apple range and the middle can be a dangerous place to be!

    Hopefully in future iPhone and OSX will converge? Nice that there are lots of apps at launch and line extension to iPhone if not OSX.

    Useful mobile adjunct to an iPhone in place of MBA when mobile would be my use plus surfing, reading and easily creating media content.

    Like the dock keyboard idea that gives it full keyboard feel and makes it like a laptop.

    Rev2 may be a much better enchilada.

    Will consider buying when it becomes available. Perhaps the iPhone service providers will do some interesting multi-device deals when it becomes available that will help affordability and economy. If not it is perhaps a bit expensive if you've already got a smart phone plus a laptop to keep and maintain. Is a third asset to keep and maintain.

    iPad mops everything up and better name than iSlate that it looked like it may have been

    Pleased all the pre announcement speculation is now finally over having reached fever pitch : )

    Makes you wonder with awe how this smart device space will look over the next few years.

    The rate of change appears to be accelerating.

    Like iPhone/iTouch there's sure to be some very interesting and unusual applications that you'd never imagine.

    It does look to fill a gap, even if smaller market niche, in the market.

    That being said this format may turn out to be the major part of a volume market in time as prices reduce.

    Well Done Apple - a clever bit of difficult engineering and smart market positioning done well. Likely to sell well, and time will tell either way.

    Hope that people enjoy trying and using it. Looking forward to meeting it. Its a most interesting idea.

  138. Big-nosed Pengie
    Thumb Up

    OK - there IS a use for it

    A mate of mine who's severely vision-impaired can't wait. For him it's the perfect answer to reading stuff onscreen, and printed books are increasingly inaccessable to him. His iPhone's too small to be useful; he can do it without any problems on his computer but he can't sit in the comfy chair and read a book on his computer or take it to bed with him.

    Damn good, I say.

    OK - that's one. Can anyone else think of something to do with it?

    1. SynnerCal
      Linux

      Re: This is going to be a fun product

      ZenCoder wrote "The ipod touch seems like it would be the perfect reader in every way except size."

      Actually I'd disagree partially - I too think the iPT is a superb eReader, but I'd argue that the size is very good. Since the device fits easily into a jacket/coat/trouser pocket then it means you've got access to some reading material just about anywhere. And if you're standing on a train/bus it's easier to use than a real (dead tree) book. Other than battery life I can't see any advantage to the current crop of dedicated eReaders, and on the flip side my iPT can do so much more than any eReader.

      As to the iPad itself - I'm with the 'meh' crowd. If it's £500 then that's the same price as two goodish netbooks, or one netbook and a good iPT - both combo's that'll suit me better than one monolithic slab device. If it was the same price as a netbook then I'd possibly be interested, otherwise that's too much of a surcharge for the interface - irrespective of how good/whizzy it is.

      I dare say that - judging on the Avataresque level of interest/hype so far anyway - that Apple won't be short of customers and we'll soon see the usual shots of folks camped outside the Apple Stores waiting eagerly for their chance to buy. Fair enough says I, but I won't be joining them any time soon.

    2. CollyWolly

      perfect ebook reader?

      Perfect except for the colour screen = crap battery life compared to e-ink readers, and crap in the sun as well.

  139. ForthIsNotDead Silver badge
    Unhappy

    It looks a bit big...

    to me... I can't imagine sitting on the tube (if you can find a seat) and using it flat on your lap.

    Unless you are a complete poser of course.

    I'll stick with my Cambridge Z88. It has stratospheric geek value, and people are falling over themselves on the tube to see what it is... If only they knew it was made in 1987...

    This new apple thing looks cool enough, but my very first reaction when I saw old Jobby holding it in that photo was "Crikey! It's huge!" - too big!

  140. Mike Campbell 1
    Happy

    Spectacular

    A sensational announcement and just the beginning of a whole new range.

    It will take a while to sort out the kinks and international launch of iBooks.

    A year from now, we'll all have them.

    Where is Zinio.com ?

    Look to Amazon to port Kindle iPhone across.

    What a great chess board.

    Sure beats the EO440.

    Apple's iPad Video says it all.

    I might just come out of retirement.

    Roll on UK availability.

  141. Anonymous Coward
    Jobs Halo

    Steve Jobs

    When Steve Jobs worked at Atari, the company was working on creating the arcade game Breakout, which required 80 Integrated Circuits (ICs). The less ICs there were, the cheaper the games would be to produce, so Nolan Bushnell (Atari's president) offered $100 for every IC that could be knocked out of the design. Jobs brought Woz the challenge, and over four days and nights at Atari they put together a design that only required 30 ICs. Bushnell gave Jobs his $5000 bonus, which Jobs "split" with Wozniak by telling him it was a $700 bonus, giving him "half," or $350. Woz was delighted, but years later found out the truth. And cried.

  142. rfc959
    Jobs Horns

    In the valley of the goats, the Goat Fucker is king.

    This little story really does show the difference between the two founders: Wozniak, the classic hacker, facing challenges and improving a project so that people like himself could enjoy it, and Jobs, the goat fucker.

  143. LinkOfHyrule
    Grenade

    Gaming...... urm, yeah whatever

    hmm, we've heard in the run up to this being announced that it will be great for playing games and what not... seriously?

    I don't really care about bashing Apple or not, joking aside (I take the piss out of all tech firms, I'm equal opportunities like that!) but seriously, how is this going to be any good for playing games on?

    It's bloody massive and has no buttons!

    Most importantly, its too expensive for a personal console. You can buy like four Nintendo DSs for the same price as the some versions of this thing! Yeah, I'm sure all the kid's parents and 'casual' gamers (and Hardcore gamers like myself) are going to want to spend top dollar for this, not!

    If the iPad had a D-Pad (ooh err) it might be a slightly different story. Probably still a crap story though, with carpel tunnel syndrome*.

    *I'd buy one though if they brought out a game called "Super Apple Kart" where you play as Steve Jobs and Steve Woz-ma-thingy-ma-bob racing around on the moon on jet-powered Segways chasing after the Evil Gates and Balmer shooting at them with Yellow Lasers out of Woz's face!**

    **I'm fibbing

  144. This post has been deleted by its author

    1. Euchrid

      You missed out the best bits!

      When Woz found out, he was on an Apple exec. plane and discovered the truth when reading a book about Apple that came out. One Apple suit, put a comforting hand on his shoulder and said "Woz, we're all so sorry.... we thought you knew." So not only discovered that his 'best friend' had shafted him years earlier, Woz also discovered this was common knowledge in the company... who do you think told them?

      Secondly, Woz would spend his $350 on parts for the Apple I - he didn't have enough money for the Intel processor he wanted, so went down the cheaper, MOS route. This wasn't not the best thing in the long-term for Apple - had Jobs seen this in his crystal ball, he probably wouldn't have gone for the fast buck.

      As an aside, Woz and Jobs used to flog phone phreaking equipment - a nice little earner. They decided to stop doing this and Jobs decided to meet their 'last customer' alone in a car park. Jobs claims he was mugged... maybe he was, but maybehe was putting in some practice how to get one over on Woz.

    2. Euchrid

      re: Gaming...... urm, yeah whatever

      Although this wouldn't be my portable gaming weapon of choice, the iPhone has done rather well in terms of attracting games developers - far more so than I expected (personally, I thought it wouldn't take off this way). In June of last year there were over 13,000 games available. Are they any good? Some are, some aren't - but GTA Chinatown Wars, for instance, is bloody good and I wouldn't mind seeing what something like that would be like on the iPad (not that I'm likely to get one).

      Also, it's attracted a lot of small developers - one lone guy produced a neat puzzle game, which when it came out cost $5 in the App Store. In the first two months, he made $250,000.

      There have been posters on here saying that their kids and friends of kids see the iPod Touch as more trendy games devices that their DS's - I know this doesn't equate to iPad demand, but it did make me realise that my 'nah, Nintendo and Sony will continue to own the portable gaming market' was not 100% accurate.

      1. whiteafrican
        FAIL

        @Euchrid

        Ok, except, if you actually start to engage a bit of thought here, you'll spot a problem. Most of the decent iPhone games use the accelerometer. If you hold an iPhone, you can generate quite a lot of tilt just by movig your fingers/wrists. Now grab a pad of A4 paper and try doing the same thing... Notice any problems? How tired will your arms be after 15 mins of trying to play games by twisting & turning the iPad? It's going to bite the dust as a gaming device, because it's less portable AND harder to use than the competition... And it's not like Apple haven't screwed this up before on the gaming front - remember the Pippin?

        1. Euchrid

          re: @Euchrid

          Now, now *wags fingers* just because you don't agree with what I say, doesn't mean that I haven't engaged in thought.

          Personally, I would don’t agree that “most of the decent iPhone games use the accelerometer”. Robocalypse is a very decent game (not as good as the DS, mind) that doesn’t use the accelerator – strategy games often benefit from a touch screen – and a real weakness (IMO was that the screen is a little too small). With arcade games on the iPhone/Touch, I generally prefer a touch screen interface – Space Invaders Infinity, for instance is a cracking game.

          I can’t say I’ve played thousands of games using the iPhone OS, but being a bit of a gamer, I do read a lot of reviews – can’t say that the games that tended to be rated the most (either by pro or amateur reviewers) are ones that use the accelerometer. Of course, if you know better, please feel free to give some examples!

          As for the problems you list about moving the iPad around, well sure…. Assuming every games developer is going to design games for the iPad in exactly the same way as they would for the iPhone/Touch, that is.

          No, I don’t remember the Pippin, granddad – I'm far too young. However, I have read about it and as for as I’m aware, it was a console that was only for gaming. The iPad isn’t – yes, they have shown it off for gaming, but it’s hardly been marketed as just a gaming device, is it?

          1. whiteafrican

            @Euchrid, @Ivan Headache

            @Euchrid

            See, all the finger wagging in the world won't persuade anyone that you've thought this through. Your argument boils down to:

            1) The iPad will be hard to use for accelerometer games, so therefore Accelerometer games aren't the best games... sort of undermined by the fact that Apple was trying to show off Asphalt 5 on the iPad at it's launch, don't you think? (http://www.wired.com/images_blogs/gamelife/2010/01/asphalt_5_350.jpg)

            2) You seem to accept that the basic problem is real (which I respect) but then you argue that developers are going to have to create a whole new set of games to deal with this problem... Why not just stick with the iPhone that doesn't have that problem at all?!

            3) As for the Pippin, the argument was about gaming. Re-read the OP. I made the point that Apple don't have a great track record at gaming. On some platforms they get it about right (the iPod touch, for instance). On others, they fail hard (the Pippin, and Macs generally suck for games). The iPad looks like another fail here - they're taking a working form factor and making it harder to use on the go, which was sort of the whole point of the darned thing!

            ------------------------

            @Ivan Headache

            "You keep mentioning the Pippin as an Apple screw-up."

            Ummm... yeah. You want to ban me from mentioning Apple's mistakes?

            "If I remember correctly, the Pippin never made it to marketin the UK or Europe."

            Right, so you're saying that -in Apple's defence- its product was so rubbish that you never actually saw one... I agree with you. It was that rubbish.

        2. Ivan Headache

          Once again

          You keep mentioning the Pippin as an Apple screw-up.

          If I remember correctly, the Pippin never made it to marketin the UK or Europe. I certainly never saw one in the UK - and anyway it was the Bandai Pippin, while it may have had Apple designed innards it was not sold by Apple. It died because Bandai merged with SEGA and SEGA didn't want to continue it.

  145. It'sa Mea... Mario

    Weather?

    Why no Weather app?

    And Maps is good but is about 4 times more useful with the compass.

    Has mic but no Voice Memos?

    So it is basically a giant iPod (minus Weather App, plus mic) but I would you know..

    Will try and wait for second gen though.

  146. regprentice
    Jobs Horns

    paradox

    If this is just an oversized touch, then it will still need to be synched with itunes?

    I would be looking at this as a replacement for my netbook, but if i get rid of my aspire one , what will i synch my ipad to?????

    Using itunes is an unholy nightmare for pc users. I bought an iphone and could not move my library from my old nano into my iphone despite owning all the music. i cant connect my iphone to a second pc without it threatening to delete the contents of the handset. In the end i used my netbook like a giant hard drive for my iphone only, and add and delete music from the folders on my C: drive then synch 'everything' to my iphone, it is by far the easiest way to manage itunes.

    This paradox will stop a lot of people buying one unless the pad functions more like a Mac/PC and less like a ipod.

    Praying in vain for drag and drop.

  147. Scott 19
    FAIL

    Fanbois

    or Apples PR department, Its a sh*t laptop that brings nothing to the party, if your on here listing its qualitys, which can be said for any laptop (although laptops are not locked down so your stuck with a 16Gb drive to save all 2 movies onto).

    They've missed the boat it should of controlled you home media TV, music and browsing the internet all from your coffee table instead its all half arsed and down better by a laptop, less powerful for more money.

    Unless your a fanbois this has FAIL written aqll over it.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      re: Fanbois

      Erm.... have you seen what the 'fanbois' are actually saying? Go over to MacRumors or any Mac forum and and you'll see that the majority of posters are bitching about it lacking a built-in backpack.

      Fanboys are more annoying than those who bitch about them... but only slightly.

  148. JohnG Silver badge

    Apple "invents" the UMPC...

    ...like the units sold for several years by Sony, Samsung and others. The existing UMPCs run a full blown OS (Windows or Linux) and can run various applications of your choice. Apple's skill in persuading people that they have invented stuff that other manufacturers are already selling is their true genius.

    The difficulty with this one is that UMPCs have largely been sidelined by netbooks, which typically do more for less money.

  149. Stone Fox
    FAIL

    A phrase I head on the onion news network springs to mind

    "Ass-backwards as fuck"

    ifail...?

  150. James Hughes 1

    What's to follow

    And I don't mean from Apple.

    Looking at the iPad - looks great. Not tried the GUI, but I bet it works really well. Form factor is something I have been waiting for for years (something to keep in the living room for browsing, streaming, remote control of TV, Skype etc - everything you have ever wanted to do form the comfort of the armschair).

    However, the lack of camera knackers the Skype option, and the relatively closed nature of sw dev means that the sort on things I want to do won't/may never be available.

    However, what will competitors come out with? If competitor hardware specs are good enough (i.e same as this iPad, but with a camera, changeable battery, not so interested in phone as I look on this as a home device, not a mobile device) etc, then the Windows and Linux boys/modders will be producing something more along the lines of what I want. or I would be able to do it myself.

    So, this is a great start , and hopefully will force start a market of devices on which software can be written that actually does fill a need, one that may not even exist at the moment!

  151. Anonymous Coward
    FAIL

    Rant

    The "artsy" look-and-feel of the event's invitation, which featured splashes and blobs of color, is apparently explained by the iPad's "brushes" feature, which allows you to paint on photos, change their colors, and make images of your own.

    WOW they included paint !!!!!

    i must buy tis item i can use my finger instead of a mouse !!!

    even better yet would be if i could use a PEN !!!!!

    OMGZR!!!!

    its almost as bad as a ad for a yamaha keyboard (with real sounding stereo Grand piano, since when were they stereo !"!)

    1. Matthew 17

      everything is stereo

      unless you have 1 ear.

      so to recreate how something would sound you need 2 speakers!

  152. deshepherd

    @Network meltdown

    250MB/month for $15 and "unlimited" fo $30 .... well, on Tmob here I'm getting 1.2GB/month for £20/6months (technically its unlimited but regular excursions over 40MB/day are agains "fair use" and Tmob reserve right to send stroppy notes or slow down connection).... and if I used the phone and used a £10 top-up per month that would be free.

    So doesn't look like much of a "breakthrough" deal to me.

  153. Gareth Gouldstone
    Happy

    Interesting logic ...

    Many of the comments on here express:

    a) All Apple products are crap

    b) I would never buy an Apple product

    Logic holding true so far, then

    c) I am really disappointed at the spec of the Apple product

    Oops!

  154. Anonymous Coward
    FAIL

    Oversized Iphone that isn't a phone

    When i first saw steve jobs holding this thing i thought it looks like a massive iphone..

    looking at the specs, it seems like it isn't really usable for much, no phone, limited storage, no flash, cant run osx apps.

    Try again apple, in a few years when you can get a real computer in that form.

  155. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    iDontcare

    Here we go again - another product to lock you into Apple's cash cow of buying everything from them and consuming whatever they offer - but hey.... it looks good and thats what matters and it makes me look cool. Jees what drivel.

    Get a life people and Consume less.

  156. Justabloke 1
    Flame

    FFS!

    Please no more "iThis"... "iThat". Its doing my fucking head in!

    OK! OK! We get it.. you can do internety type stuff with your gear! get over it FFS!

  157. pctechxp

    Anyone else think

    This looks like an oversized iPhone or should I say supersized.

  158. Tim Roberts 1

    some of you just dont get it.....

    It's not the hardware, it's what the software can do ....

    Who gives a flying fuck what it's called or who makes it - what other company has text book publishers on side, potentially newspapers, music, etc etc.

    JFC guys, some of you anti mac twits are just a rabid as the pro-macs but you can't see it because you hide behind calling "them' mactartds. So wtf are you ... wintards??? Lintards??? Certainly you are just as bad - Lord Bill can do no wrong etc etc bullshit.

    The ipad will sell - I think very well especially when publishers of textbooks and mags/newspapers get in on it. You see, the power that Apple has in this is not the hardware its in the apps - itunes, ibook, iwhatever, that no other vendor has.

    Having said that, will I buy one - probably not because what I'm really after is a basic old ebook reader ....... yeah yeah I'm a luddite.

  159. Jolyon

    All the way up to 91?

    What TF does

    "It looks like ... [an] iPhone - although with a more rectangular aspect ratio"

    mean?

    The answer is none. None more right-angled.

  160. Roby
    WTF?

    Is it just me?

    Meh... it looks like a giant iPhone. Not sure what I was expecting but... I just don't like the look of it. I can't quite put my finger on it. Other Apple products I admit look stylish and great design, but this looks ugly for some reason.

    And the size? I guess this is filling the netbook market, but not many people carry one of those around. In my opinion the market for such a device has to be something you can carry with you easily. The iPhone could do so much and fit (just) in your pocket. My dad has a netbook, and if he wants to take it anywhere my mum has to put it in her handbag! I just can't imagine people carrying these around. And furthermore, they don't need to.

    You don't need a laptop or netbook with you at all times. If you're a business person and you need it with you, you'll have a suitcase or bag with a proper laptop. If you aren't, it's not worth always carrying a large device around. So if you're only using it say, at home, occasionally taking it somewhere, but not really "on the move", then what's the point? Might as well get something larger that can do more (and that isn't heavily restricted).

    Who knows, perhaps it will do very well and be the next must-have item, but I honestly think even if I was a millionaire and money was no object I wouldn't bother with one, so I can't imagine why anyone would want one, except to fawn over as a fan. Anyway, rant over.

  161. Dick Emery
    FAIL

    What no OLED?

    FFS at least put a decent display on the thing.

  162. Fractured Cell
    Pint

    TBH, Rather disapointed.

    Most of the concepts that the iFans made were better.

    I was expecting it to at least run a buggered version of OSX, not a slightly better version of the iOS.

    Watched the Keynote with bated breath, but when the Moses Tablet™ was unveiled, all I could say was: Thats crap! Its just a massive iPhone!"

    Very dissapointed, was actually expecting something useable.

    (now to go drown myself. (With large amounts of ethanol, of course.))

  163. Magnus_Pym

    It's the App store stoopid.

    Sod the hardware. It's what people will find to do with it after it is released that matters. The iPhone was just an expensive phone until people started writing apps to do weird stuff.

    Even I can think of some. Who will be the first to bring out a multiplayer shoot'em up game that has an overview on the 24" monitor and first person view on each players the 10" iPad. 10" screen makes a far better satnav. I bet they use them in the apple stores as the current hand held (iPac) I thing is crap. I bet media types will love them. Probably load them up with a presentation and courier them to the customer or some such seemingly wasteful crap.

  164. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Down

    Bizarre conflict

    Apple now has two competing "operating systems" for high resolution devices. OS X has nice overlapping windows, dialog boxes, drop-down menus, etc. and the iPad... doesn't. This is not an advance in UI design, it's a regression. We're back to the pre-Macintosh days, where apps took up the whole screen and displayed "whatever." Not cool.

    What Apple should have been doing is merging the iPhone OS features *into* OS X. Make a mini-MacBook with a touchscreen, GPS, 3G, and compass that's able to run iPhone apps.

    The iPad is not a bad device. But at this point, everybody knows you can make a cheap tiny computer with great battery life for a few hundred dollars. With this being possible, why would anyone want to settle for an enormous iPod touch?

  165. This post has been deleted by a moderator

    1. Gareth Gouldstone
      Happy

      Closet case, I fear

      You know that the most rabidly homophobic people are closet gays?

      You must be a closet fanboi.

      Otherwise, why bother to comment?

  166. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Just a sec

    If I remember right it was all the rumour sites and el reg among others who whipped themeselves and everyone else into a frenzy about this. Not actually apple. So what did you want? Cures for cancer, space travel for all, free beer for a year?

    iPad is the next evolutionary step up from the iphone and ipod just like the imac and macbooks were from their predecessors. I guess you dont get it. You dont like it, dont buy it. But dont whine ok.

    1. whiteafrican
      FAIL

      @Boxer

      Lol - typical fanboi response. Apple deliver a disappointing product, so you blame the media and the critics. Meanwhile, all you fanbois (both reporters like Brian X Chen at Wired, and average posters on sites like this one) were raving about this iPad before it was announced. Then they announced it, and it was basically a bloated version of an existing product that brings nothing new to the table, and costs a lot. So now you all look a bit silly. Deal with it.

      What did people want?

      - Multitasking.

      - A decent OS.

      - An actual useful way to input data (like handwriting recognition, for example. If you're going to point to the optional keyboad, I'm going to point you to a netbook that comes with a keyboard and does more stuff than the iPad and costs less). You can't touch-type on a virtual keyboard.

      - Flash.

      - Java.

      - Expansion slots.

      - Tethering.

      - A camera.

      - A decent sized hard drive.

      - A lower price (i.e. minus the fanboi tax).

      - The ability to use a Wacom stylus in Photoshop would be nice.

      - A device you aren't embarrassed to mention, in case people think you're talking about a feminine hygene product.

      Apple failed to deliver on any of these, even though they're available on lots of other machines, so the existing tech is quite cheap. Instead, they gave us a bloated iPod touch. With books. Oh goody. Therefore, we will rightly point out that this product is made of Fail.

      @El Reg - Can we please have a "MADE OF FAIL" button, because the standard "FAIL" button just doesn't seem to get the point across.

      1. Jolyon

        Made of arsewater

        I don't want multitasking to any greater extent than playing music while browsing.

        I do want a decent OS but I suspect that's actually what has been provided.

        I don't need to be able to touch type on it and don't want flash, java, a camera or more storage.

        I can afford one and as a grown up I don't feel the need to be embarrassed myself by the name a company chooses for its product.

        I don't claim my requirements to be those of every other potential purchaser of the thing, that'd just make me look like a spoiled, stupid berk but for me it looks like something that'd get some use around the house.

        1. whiteafrican
          FAIL

          @Jolyon

          Ah, the classic fanboi response, "Apple didn't give us [feature X] therefore [feature X] is unnecessary. So sayeth the Jobs."

          You don't *want* multitasking? I mean, I can understand you saying you don't need it very often, but you'd be hard pressed to deny that it is useful to be able to switch between apps without having to exit them, or use multiple apps at once.

          As for a decent OS, most people want an OS that allows them to do more than just surf the internet and play with apps that are mostly novel timewasters (somehow I suspect iBeer and iFart apps on this thing are going to get old very fast). Sure, some people might spend a lot of time on facebook, but they'll occasionally want to write letters, take lecture notes, make spreadsheets you know, just write stuff down. Windows (and even OSX) offer software that is infinitely superior to the AppStore equivalents when it comes to any of these things. Who knows, people might even want to do some Photoshop or Dreamweaver stuff, like you could do on, say, an ordinary laptop. They might also want an OS that isn't COMPLETELY DEPENDEDNT ON ITUNES. If the iPad is going to be used on the go, as a netbook repalcement, you surely want it to be an independent device, not one that you have to hook up to another computer to put new content on it?!

          I can understand that you don't want to be able to type much. You are, after all, a fanboi, so I will take it as read that you don't intend to actually do any work anyway. As for not wanting java and flash, again, you're a fanboi, so you probably don't care about the parts of the internet that His Stevieness hasn't seen fit to include in your universe (the other 95% of us quite like having access to the whole internet though). Frankly, even I am not sure about wanting a camera on this thing - Apple haven't managed to put a decent camera on any device yet, so you may be right about that. But seriously, you don't *want* more storage? Why the heck not? Are you storage-averse? Do you get a kick out of having to refresh the stuff on your device all the time? Why on earth would you not want a decent amount of storage? This is supposed to be an entertainement device. That means 80Gb minimum, preferrably around the 250Gb mark. 16Gb?! on a device that size? seriously?

          I'm glad you don't feel the need to be embarassed - but you have to admit it's a really poor choice of name. It's not a good sign that the internet is awash with tampon jokes before the product even hits the shelves.

          I do agree with your last comment though, it does look like "something that'd get some use around the house." The trouble is, when it comes to work, the iPad is clearly going to finish second to my laptop, when it comes to tv, the iPad is clearly going to finish second to, well, my tv, and when it comes to games, the iPad obviously going to finish second to my console (probably third, actually, as my laptop creams the iPad on graphics). When I want to call people, I have an actual phone for that... So while the iPad may get some use, it'll never get enough use to justify actually buying one.

      2. Ivan Headache

        there isn't one because

        You would use it on every single item written about Apple just so you say Cube, Apple TV and Pippin.

        1. whiteafrican
          Stop

          @Ivan Headache

          In my defence, I'm not criticising everything Apple has done - the iPod is great (I own two). My girlfriend has an iPhone, which isn't for me, but she likes it and I can see why. It is a good phone.

          But this tablet thing is just stupid. You get fanbois lining up to say "It'll be amazing because the iPod/iPhone is amazing..." but it won't, becuase there are obvious differences, and some of us would like to point that out. The fanbois also seem to think Apple is invincible and never makes mistakes, but it isn't and it does and again, some of us would like to point that out (if it's all the same to you).

          Lastly, you left Macbook Air and the Newton off your list. I'd throw in the Lisa as well, but although that was practically the definition of Made of Fail from a commercial perspective, it did bring the GUI into mainstream computing, so we can all be thankful for that.

      3. Anonymous Coward
        WTF?

        @ whiteafrican

        Try reading first it helps. I dont remember apple saying they were making a netbook. In fact apple are notorious for not telling you much about what they are up to. So apple bring out a product thats not a netbook and you then go into blubber mode with classics like

        "The ability to use a Wacom stylus in Photoshop would be nice."

        did i miss something in the release for the ipad?

        and finally

        "Apple failed to deliver on any of these, even though they're available on lots of other machines."

        Then go buy one of them.

        1. whiteafrican
          FAIL

          @Boxer

          Dude, get a grip. Nobody's blubbering. As for reading, not everything that anyone says in a post has to be a direct response to something you said first. We're allowed to introduce new ideas to the debate... novel, I know... The reason Netbooks are relevant here is that they are a competing product (given the price bracket and the fact that they're both pitched at people looking for a simple, internet-friendly device with a mid-size screen). Therefore, a comparison between the two is valid. It's a pathetic argument to say, "Apple weren't trying to create [X] and therefore you're not allowed to compare the iPad to [X]."

          As for the Wacom comment, I was just saying that it would be nice to have a useful drawing app and a useful input method. Axiotron actually makes an OSX tablet (perfectly legally) that runs Photoshop and has Wacom support. If the iPad tablet had that, loads of artists would buy it. Heck, I'd probably buy two. If it had a pressure-sensitive stylus, the iPad would quite possibly be an artist's dream. Instead, they gave us an app that lets you finger-paint. But that's Apple for you - treat the fanbois like the children they are...

          The final point you appear to be making is that you would prefer me to purchase a competing product, rather than simply pointing out the areas in which the competing products are superior to the iPad. That is illogical and absurd - I don't want either a netbook or an iPad - but if I want to speculate as to which I would buy if I had to choose, and compare the waeknesses/strengths of the products, then I will. What would you prefer? Do you want to ban people from commenting on forums unless they have purchased the product in question? Or do you just want to ban people from criticising the work of his Stevefulness?

  167. Piro

    Microsoft has a chance

    .. Because Courier looks approximately a million times better than this, and surely can't be less functional, and in a much better form factor

    1. Jolyon

      Apples and oranges?

      I'm not sure they're really competing - not for my cash at least.

      Courier seems to be about input and organisation where the iPad is targetting browsing and grazing.

      I'm not sure I'd want to read a book on either but I definitely wouldn't want to be holding two screens to do it. On the other hand if I was porting a corporate application interface I'd want pen input and connectivity.

      The iPad might replace my TV, stereo, DS and photo album; Courier would step in for the work laptop, diary, notepad etc

      Of course MS may well have other tablet designs in development - Gates was pretty upbeat about the concept a while ago and they've never abandoned it.

    2. kiwistu
      Thumb Up

      Courier for the win?

      The first photos and specs of the Courier made it sound very promising and now it looks better than ever. Sinnead O'Connor's album " I do not want what I cannot have" seems to be the inspiration for Apple's philosophy - "you will not want what we choose not to let you have", but I think that it's just possible the exclusionary control-mania at Cupertino might have gone too far this time. The Wired.com article on why the 10 most glaring omssions of the iPad are actually all masterstrokes of genius is hilarious, but there are many articles popping up in non tech media all over the web suggesting that perhaps the Emperor might not have quite as much on as everybody previously thought. I hope that MS capitalises on this by working to make sure Courier lives up to the potential promised in those early shots/spec.s

  168. KeithSloan
    Thumb Down

    Sorry Steve has lost his touch - iPad does not hit the mark

    I might have considered the iPad if I was traveling a lot i.e. spending hours on planes, trains etc. But the deal breakers for me are

    1) No flash support - I make that about 70-80% of the web sites I access unusable.

    2) No webcam for skype - If I was traveling I would want to video conference with the family at home.

    Also not sure about having an on-screen keyboard - the jury is still out for me on that one.

    Plus given to amuse myself on long journeys I would want access to Shogi/Go/Chess programs and all the decent ones are PC only. I think I would go for a Netbook something like the Samsung N10

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Unhappy

      Number 2 is the deal breaker for me too.

      Frankly I'm an Apple early adopter. I have just about everything they have produced. In use in the house today we have MacPro, PowerMac, MacBooks, (White, Ally, Pro and Air...), All flavours of Airport from tit version to latest Express, Apple TV, 3 iPhones and about 7 iPods at last count.

      I was planning on standing in line for this one but without the camera for Skype it's a non starter for me. I will have to stick with Air for travel (400K air miles a year travel, not just down to the shops and back. That is where an Air becomes a computer of choice not the toy a lot of you detractors think), though I might just run to one to keep the kids happy when travelling in the car...

    2. James Butler

      Onscreen keyboard

      About that ... how will it be used?

      1) Holding the iPad like a "book" (whatever that is) and typing with one hand?

      2) Laying the iPad flat on some surface to use both hands ... and craning your head out over the screen so you can see what you are typing?

      3) Propping up the iPad on a pillow or something so you can see the screen, and then angling your arms weirdly so you can hit the virtual keys?

      4) Ignoring the onscreen keyboard completely and using the "keyboard dock" (sold separately) that Apple is so thoughtfully making available to those who like the device but still wish it had a real keyboard?

      Apple financial analysts everywhere are betting on #4 ... the one that's not included with the device.

  169. pedrodude
    Dead Vulture

    Spankies?

    Are we in fact 12 years old?

    Sigh...

    1. Anonymous Coward
      WTF?

      Huh?

      What you talking about?

  170. M. Burns Silver badge
    Boffin

    Probably the most rational iPad review

    Is Samuel Axon review "The Anti-Hype: Why Apple’s iPad Disappoints" on mashup.com

    http://mashable.com/2010/01/27/apple-ipad-downsides/

  171. The Fuzzy Wotnot
    Megaphone

    OK you lot

    I don't have any strong feelings one way or the other, despite being an Apple "fanboi", it looks a tad boring, but seems useful enough to some people I suppose.

    I am going to bookmark this thread, take a copy and check back in 18 months time, see what happened.

    I'll see you all on the flip-side in 18 months time! Good luck!

  172. This post has been deleted by its author

    1. paulc
      Linux

      but does it run...

      "But the spec's look delightful. Display with good colour representation. Glossy display for easy cleaning."

      yup... would be great for running Linux on... :)

  173. Mark Serlin
    Grenade

    Z88!?!?

    yeah - I'd really LOVE to see you trying to read The Metro on that piece of turkey! Hahahaha!

  174. Parax
    Joke

    Dom Jolly,

    was initially chuffed, but was dissapointed to learn it had no phone.

  175. peter 67
    Paris Hilton

    iTap?

    iPad? iTap more like.

    Tap into the pockets of the Apple fanboi masses....

    It's a no for me. No OLED and no removable battery. sigh.....

    "Paris" cos we all know she likes to get tapped once in a while....

  176. RainForestGuppy

    Excellent

    It's Brilliant

    I can browse the net,

    Play movies,

    Play music

    Listen to the radio

    run app and games

    view pictures

    I'm talking about my 7 year old TC1000 tablet of course

  177. nanchatte
    Jobs Halo

    Appealing beyond the core audience, perhaps.

    I run a small private school in Tokyo and had a website design class with a student of mine today. She double clicked on the Safari icon at the start of the lesson and did an immediate and solid double take when the Apple page appeared.

    "Wow! That is THIN!" she said and immediately clicked on the full width banner of the edge-on, half-profile of the new iPad that dominated the screen.

    "I want one!" she said as she clicked on one of the details page and flipped through the gallery of photos.

    "It's like your iphone but the screen is huge. How can they make it so thin," she enthused.

    "It's amazing. Do you think they'll sell them in Japan. I'm going to get my mum to buy me one. She said she was going to get me a laptop. I think I want one of these."

    She is a 10 year old Japanese girl. FTW?

    1. Jolyon

      Yep, people want these

      One of the big UK football websites included a missive on their correspondence page today which signed off with a comment along the lines of the new Apple thing looking very desirable.

      If they can get the people who like Hello Kitty and Manchester United they can safely ignore the people who could discuss levels and types of multi-tasking in depth.

  178. Alpha Tony
    Jobs Halo

    None of you understand...

    ..It isn't a giant i-phone at all. It's a normal sized i-phone.

    The announcement is that Apple have invented a shrink ray.

    I shall call him... Mini Steve.

  179. Anonymous Coward
    Terminator

    What's in a name

    Ok, I can see why people could be a little put off by the name, but the Star Trek fans will love it. All the portable displays carried around in the series were call PADDs originally from pad of paper. It was supposed to stand for Personal Access Data Display. So now Apple has a iPAD. It's all about how you market it.

    Price wise I'm not too surprised. The Kindle was $399 when it came out and everyone thought it was overpriced. It's has sold fairly well. So now you can have the Apple version that is in color, runs video as well as ebooks, all the apps that the iPhone and iTouch run, and at a size that makes the virtual keyboard usable. They have bridged the eBook, MP3, and PDA markets with one device. They tried this a little with the iTouch...this is better. I'll probably end up supporting 6 of them by the end of July.

    Please note: I do not own a single item from Apple. I have to support them as part of my job. I'm not that impressed with their devices - but they have their nitch.

  180. Chris Byers
    Thumb Down

    Finally Apple release a turkey

    iMilleniumEdition?

    The fact that they have seriously misjudged just what the consumer and teh IT world wants means that the smaller Windows based tablets soon to be released have time to correct any shortcomings that teh iPad has revealed. An 8" Windows 7 based tablet with built in 3G that I can put in my inside jacket pocket and install pretty much all of my current purchased software on . yes please. A (admittedly nice looking) 10 inch slab that pretty much doesn't allow you to do anything well. No thanks.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Doesn't allow you to do anything?

      Hmmmm. Let me think. I want a small footprint device that I can do the following: check email, surf the web, read e-books, listen to my iTunes music, create/edit documents, view picture albums, play games. Did I miss something or does this device not do EXACTLY those things? Also, the great touch capability of this device is such a nice addition.

      On a separate point, does anyone know if there are different certifications this device would need to have if its primary function was phone? Just curious. I know it's not a phone as Apple is smart enough not to canabalise their iPhone sales, but I just wondered what the certification process was for phones vs. other non-phone devices.

    2. Jolyon

      Misjudged? Fact? Or more arsewater?

      Are the sales for this device disappointing then?

      Or is it just tardity of the first order for you to suggest you have access to any 'facts' about consumer desire in this case?

      You might be right about turkey though - suspect many will be bought at Christmas.

  181. Andrew James

    Revolutionary Product

    I haven't watched the video of the launch yet. Was it introduced as a revolutionary product? if not, where has all this "this is not revolutionary" stuff come from?

    Despite what Jobs might even say himself, Apple don't do revolution. They do evolution... and they do it pretty well, certainly since the birth of the iPod anyway.

    From what i have seen so far (watched the promo video sans audio on youtube) the interface looks to be friendly enough, and an expansion on what is in the iPhone/Touch thanks to the bigger screen area.

    Chances are, as with the iPhone OS upgrades previously, future upgrades will add features that don't exist already. Its not the Apple way to ship the perfect product on day one. Over time, while it may never become perfect, I'm betting it will become an improvement over what it does already.

    1. Steen
      Big Brother

      Never buy new ..

      or rely on a Beta, let someone else spend the cash and do the hard work. There are plenty of alternative appliances at that price and I could get a fairly decent laptop for the money.

  182. Gobhicks
    Heart

    Rejoice

    Only a masochist would read this comment thread, so I haven't

    1. prathlev
      Happy

      I concur

      ... but we can always try to start a new branch of comments with no relevance what-so-ever and see if anybody notices. A full 280 comments as I write this. Wow. Non-Blizzard wow.

      The subject of the article looks sweet though.

    2. Mr Young
      Happy

      Har,Har - nearly sleeping

      This comment list is not that big compared to some of my asm files.

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  185. David Glasgow

    OK. That's enough now.

    When I first browsed, there were already 170 comments. I nipped out for a bit, and there are now 288.

    What are the top ten scores for comments on an El Reg article? At what point do most readers decide they can't be arsed to either read or contribute, and leave the field to those with spittle flecked screens?

    Do I actually have anything to say about the iPad? Mmmmmm. Nah. Let's just see how it goes, eh?

  186. Bruno Girin
    Linux

    Touch Book

    The main annoyance for me with the iPad is that it's not a standalone device: you need to sync it with a desktop using iTunes, which of course only works on OS-X or Windows. As my main system is a Linux box, methinks I'm gonna get myself one of those instead: http://www.alwaysinnovating.com/touchbook/

  187. Thomas 18

    Entertainment Center

    Does all the stuff most people do on thier main computer... badly

    It does games about as well as a Gameboy Advanced

    It does office tasks without a keyboard

    It does movies without blueray/cd drive or tv out ports

    It stores data at a cost of $200 per 48GB - My latest usb pen drive stores 32GB and it was £40, oh but ofcourse it doesnt have USB ports oh well.

    How about buying a proper laptop which you can hapily get for that price then you can:

    Create music and movies

    Write programs

    Make phone calls

  188. J 3
    Coat

    Damn...

    This will be El Reg's most commented on story EVER. Just doing my part...

    Anyway, I'm starting to think the iPad will be at least reasonably successful after all, after hearing the reactions of a few "regular people" about it.

  189. ach20
    FAIL

    An expensive digital photo frame

    That's what it looks like to me!

    1. RiverChelt

      'an expensive digital photo frame'

      just what my dear old mother wants. perhaps i'll get her one for her birthday. however, should she decide to dump her now obselete NC10 netbook, I am wondering, how does she actually go about getting the images from her digital camera onto her digital photo frame? confused I am.

  190. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    Brilliant bit of kit!

    At last something worthy of 21st century (netbooks seem so - so, so much of shopfloor sweepings turned into something elegantly unremarkable with a nod at 21st century lifestyles and a bigger nod to 20th century technologies?)

    What will the next and next plus one generations of the iPad do?

    Gotta hav this won.

    Look at the pricing, quality, elegance and gallantry of the device.

    Might it be so, oh so sweet to claim that the best device for W7 mobile is an iPad?

  191. Anonymous Coward
    Happy

    I can't wait

    My Apple mad friend will probably be in the queue for one of these and will proudly be showing it off.

    At which point I will bring out my Windows 7 tablet:

    I think I would like to read a book in the very popular mobipocket format but I don't have it on my tablet. Never mind, it's on this USB stick in my pocket, would you like a copy? Oh wait, you can't plug it in. Never mind, I will bluetooth it to you.

    Oh, I seem to have forgotten to install mobipocket, let me just visit the developers website and install it from there, why don't you do the same - oh, you can't as it isn't in the app store.

    I fancy watching a dvd, I'll just put it in, would you like to borrow - oh you don't have any kind of optical drive.

    Tell you what, let me bring up skype and video chat with my sister. You can join in, but it's audio only for you.

    I'll just catch up on that programme I missed, oh you missed it too well it's on the iplayer - whoops

    How about a miniclip multiplayer game of pool - no?

    I'll just open spotify and have it running in the background while I write some email and then do a bit of web browsing while having my instant message client and skype running in case someone needs to get hold of me - how's the ipad working for you? Why are you crying?

    Hours of fun ahead!

  192. Simon Buttress

    Nothing more than a wallet hoover

    Basically that's what it is. In price - both in purchase price and then separate data plan to be of any 'mobile' use at all - and also in functionality - iTunes, iBooks, Apps, 3 Apple shops in the palm of your hand. throw in limited functionality - browsing and emails - to keep some people sedated and voila, you are now many hundreds of pounds lighter in the pocket.

  193. Norman Wanzer
    Alert

    Ah finally

    A lightweight, portable, easy to use remote desktop interface for windows.

  194. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Down

    Huh?

    The keynote is pathetic. Not only do you get the usual crap, such as people maddly clapping their hands when Steve says that it can view pictures (AND ALSO IT CAN DO SLIDESHOWS!!!! OMG!!), but it's also completely wrong in a many ways.

    For example, when Jobs insults netbooks (fine, not everybody likes it, but at least do not lie about them), he generalizes and says it runs Microsoft software. However, with netbooks, I think even Apple and Microsoft can't ignore Linux anymore.

    Also, I fail to see how my netbook with a custom linux kernel compiled specifically for the machine (so no, you can't say that your thing is uber-optimized compared to mine) running on a 1.6 GHz Atom with a minimalist Openbox interface can be slower than something that has a 1GHz chip, and runs thousands of surely nice, but computationally expensive graphics effects.

    Oh wait, maybe because yours is limited to only one task?

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