back to article ID card minister forgets ID card

Already shouldering the unfortunate burden of cheerleading for the ID cards scheme, one might expect the universe might cut Home Office minister Meg Hillier some slack. Alas, at an event in Liverpool to promote said white elephant yesterday, she forgot her ID card. Hillier blamed her forgetfulness on the demands of looking …

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  1. Anonymous Coward
    FAIL

    Oh my aching sides

    Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

    Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

    That is all

    (Fail - obviously)

  2. Dan 10
    FAIL

    Popular then...

    "Hillier's intervention came after the Manchester ID cards pilot was extended across the north west. From January people in Cheshire, Merseyside, Lancashire and Cumbria will be able to apply for a card, should they so wish."

    This wouldn't be because no-one in Manchester was stupid enough to sign up for one, would it?!

  3. The Original Ash
    Thumb Up

    Oh dear sweet Jesus, thank you...

    Christmas has come early, folks!

    "Under the current situation people bring their details in and they get lost. This saves a lot of messing around."

    National ID Card Scheme: Losing your details while saving a lot of messing around.

  4. Nev Silver badge
    FAIL

    Good thing she doesn't live in France

    She could have opened herslf up to arrest.

    1. Jimbo 6

      Shome mishtake shurely

      'Good thing' ? I think you mean 'what a shame'...

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Big Brother

      Same in Germany

      No ID Card, and you can get nicked...

      Something I bet Zanu-Labour would dearly like to have too, I reckon

      1. John Smith 19 Gold badge
        Thumb Up

        Same in Germany

        "Something I bet Zanu-Labour would dearly like to have too, I reckon"

        Not at all. That might make the sheeple start thinking that it was some sort of authoritarian surveillance ploy by a control freak government (you can bet the police would be vigerous in enforcing that law).

        They might also remember that the last *sustained* terrorist campagn was by the provisional IRA, which ended in 1998 and that since then the only terrorist incident on the UK mainland (7/7/05) killed 57 people (including the Argenteinan electrician wasted by the Met).

        Less than the average number of children known to social services which are killed (normally by guardians or parents) each year.

        Less than the number of people who die in farm accidents each year. About 77 according to ROoSPA.

        Less than the number of people who die in botched DIY accidents each year.

        They might also remember that historically the UK *is* different from the rest of Europe in *not* requiring a subject of the crown to prove to *anyone* who they say they are.

        They might think it was somehow *unnecessary* to have this intrusive (*much* more so than most other European countries) invasive and expensive (Setup costs supposedly 400m, £5bn running over the next 10 years. I believe the setup costs are already above that estimate).

        making it mandaotry is for when the net is fully closed.

  5. Pat 11

    Already proving useful

    Are they? If I took one into Barclays, would it make it easier to open an account? Where are they making life easier for someone?

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    A suggestion

    I used to forget where I left my glasses. Buying a new pair every month was affecting my bank balance. I switched to contact lenses.

    The minister may wish to learn from my experience. It is best to keep the card on you physically at all times so that you don't ever have to remember to carry it around.

    Stick it where the sun doesn't shine, my dear.

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    Meanwhile, in a country next door...

    In the Netherlands, forgetting an ID card comes to a fine of €50,- and being busy with babies is no excuse. However, as long as the authorities have not established your identity (which they can't because you forgot your ID card), they can detain you up to two days if they feel like it. I just thought you'd like to know what's in store for you lot in the future.

    But the mandatory ID card law has helped reduce the number of terrorist attacks in the Netherlands from 0 to 0. So it does work.

    AC, oh irony ;-)

  8. Sceptical Bastard
    FAIL

    I never thought I'd say this ....

    ... but three cheers for Liverpool!

    As to Mug Hillier, if you think Wacky Jackie was pigshit stupid and accident-prone, this one is even worse. Check her record - Google fun for all the family over the hols.

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    How hard/expensive is it to replace?

    If it's anything like a passport, the more important they become the less likely anyone is to carry them.

  10. The BigYin

    No ID? She could be anyone.

    Other forms of ID are not acceptable as they could be fake.

    Forgetting your ID card is no excuse (it's a bit like claiming you were ignorant of a law).

    There is no excuse, she should be held under arrest until her identity can be verified.

    If MPs were treated in the same way as members of the public WILL be treated, then perhaps this whole ID business can be scrapped.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      more to the point

      Would it be easier to get a barclays account if you had a fake/fraudulant one?

      Lets face it how many of the new ID cards that have been issued have been issued to adventurous criminals seeing if they can get one with fake birth certificates/medical card/bank details/etc. Wonder if any have tried to get two, how do they make sure you don't get two?

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Thumb Up

      Indeed!

      I bet if I tried that I would get laughed out and asked to bring back some "proper" ID, ie the usual 6 proofs of address/signature, malarky!

      Nightclubs?

      "Can I come in?"

      "ID please mate."

      Flashes GOV ID card.

      "Sorry mate! Did you knock this up on your computer? Have you got something proper like a driving license? No? Sorry mate, you'll have to leave."

    3. Nigel 11
      Grenade

      Held under arrest

      Yes, she should be treated in the same way as her proposed laws would have the rest of us treated.

      She should also be fingerprinted and DNA-sampled, and that information stored in the police computer for the next N years (even if she's never charged with anything). See how she likes that. Especially after organised crime makes off with the contents of the ID, fingerprint and DNA databases, and DNA synthesizers become mainstream criminal technology ... all within the next decade, I expect.

    4. Vincent Ballard
      Alert

      In Spain

      Since ID cards were introduced in Spain back in 1944 there have been a mere few hundred terrorist attacks, and only about 1000 people have been killed by terrorists. And there are only a few hundred illegal immigrants in Spain (not counting the million-odd ex-illegal immigrants who have been granted residential status in amnesties). So clearly they've been a terrific success here too.

    5. kevin biswas
      FAIL

      Lets get this straight....

      Someone with no ID card is at the door, claiming to be the minister in charge of ID cards. Maybe she has a superficial resemblance to the minister in question, but it seems much more likely she is a random lunatic. Another sad case for the MHA section 2 squad, methinks.

      1. Vincent Ballard
        FAIL

        *Thousand*

        Ahem. s/few hundred illegal immigrants/few hundred thousand illegal immigrants/. Sorry about that.

      2. Clint Sharp

        Ahem. I think you'll find...

        That the random lunatic is the minister, after all it seems to be a qualification for the job.

    6. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      probably not...

      as thanks to the anti money laundering regulations, you need to provide ID from a specific list of approved forms of ID, which doesn't include the ID card.

      The bank I work in would not accept it, mainly because it's not one of the options the computer systems give you, it would end up having to go in 'other' and need backing up by all sorts of manager overrides.

    7. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Layers of stupidity

      I still think that other tart...Blears...is more stupid than the dope fiend of Redditch. Call her 'dog shit stupid'.

      I'd be interested to see arguments as to why dog shit is not as stupid as pig shit. Though it is probably a philosophical point anyway!

    8. Fred 24
      Megaphone

      Barclays?

      Do yourself a favour! while all banks actively use smoke and mirror tactics chose another one, cross the street! For your sake not mine!

  11. Peter Thomas 2
    Black Helicopters

    Come on guys, why don't you back it?

    As demonstrated, the national ID card scheme is a much more efficient way of losing your details.

    All your personal details and biometric information can be lost in one go, so much better than the old fashioned way of losing the odd important document.

    I for one welcome our Orwellian overlords...

  12. Anonymous John

    Re she forgot her ID card.

    "Hillier blamed her forgetfulness on the demands of looking after her baby."

    I bet that won't be a valid excuse when/if they start fining people for not carrying the cards with them 24/7.

  13. Gordon is not a Moron
    Grenade

    Hoist meet petard

    That is all.

    1. kevin biswas
      Happy

      Of course.....

      No-one would EVER expect those who make the rules for others have to follow them themselves, now would they ?

    2. N2 Silver badge
      Thumb Down

      Brilliant!

      So do I get replacement fingerprints, Iris & any other biometric stuff that goes amiss when I loose it or our glorious pack of government toss pots loose the data en-mass?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        The clerk says: You don't exist, go away.

        Somebody else claims to be you using fake fingerprints and a fake eye and faked dna (possible now), so clearly somebody is impersonating somebody. But he's got your ID and you are therefore an unidentified nobody. This is all very fishy and difficult and the easiest way to make the problem go away is declare you an un-person, known impostor, and therefore a criminal, excuse me, more criminal than usual, should that be possible.

        So, in a word, replacements? Bwahahahaha! Go away, filthy criminal scum!

        I think it should be obvious by now that the government thinks ID cards much more easily dealt with than actual persons, so you all get an upgrade to being a little bit of plastic, and if you lose the upgrade, you are obsolete and can be ignored. Humans are obsolete, get with the times already, stupid humans! Carry on government.

  14. Ihre Papiere Bitte!!
    Thumb Down

    There's Hypocrisy on the Starboard Bow, Starboard Bow...

    "Hillier blamed her forgetfulness on the demands of looking after her baby."

    I bet that excuse wouldn't work for anyone else...! Go straight to Jail, do not pass Go, do not collect £200...

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    How can anyone trust the Intrusive Divisive (ID) Cards

    anymore?

    If the person behind this whacky, and out there idea of ID cards cannot be tracked and validated by it then it all comes down like the proverbial house of ID cards it is built on.

    What a waste of time and money, I hope whoever is responsible for the ID Cards pays for it all out of their own pocket, and is never given a position of public responsibility ever again, they are just not fit for the job.

  16. Mike Bell 2
    Stop

    How did they know...

    It was really Meg Hillier? She had no ID so she could have been an impostor.

  17. Paul Elstob
    Alert

    I dare not believe it.

    A council not bending the the government's whims, this doesn't make sense.

    Really though, it's just cost me £20 to renew the photo on my driving license, my passport cost me about £60. WTF would I do with another piece of plastic when either of the aforementioned suffice for my everyday needs?

  18. SmallYellowFuzzyDuck, how pweety!
    Grenade

    How not to lose an ID card

    Keep it in the back of a drawer at home gathering dust like the rest of the population probably will.

    Of course an even better method for no losing them is to scrap the scheme and not issue them in the first place!

    And nice one Liverpool, well done for rejecting them!

    1. Stu Pid
      Unhappy

      I think

      You should go to jail for referencing that dreadful song.

  19. Mark Rosher
    FAIL

    It's been done before...

    I think this is in preparation for phase two. Insertion at birth of RFID tags. Come on people, it'll help prevent absent mindedness and keep us all safe from the nasty terrorists.

    Don't tell 'em your name, Pike.

  20. ElFatbob
    FAIL

    Har Har

    "Identity cards are already proving themselves extremely useful in daily life, from opening a bank account to entering a nightclub, and for travel to Europe,"

    To whom, the 5 people who actually have one?

    I'd like to hear from them please.

  21. Kevin Perry

    Is it just me?

    Or does anyone else keep reading Hillier as (appropriately) Hitler?

  22. Ad Fundum
    Paris Hilton

    A question for the lawyers / philosophers

    If I show my ID card while I'm taking photos in Westminster, will I be allowed to carry on regardless because I'll have proved that I'm not a terrorist?

    I thought it in jest but I think it might actually be a serious question.

    1. Rasczak

      Reading

      No, not just you.

    2. The BigYin

      No

      You have simply proved that your face matches a card and given a name (it's a local check*). For verification you will still be taken to a station for an on-line check. But that merely verifies your ID, not that you are not a terrorist.

      To prove that will require interrogation and further check by the security services.

      Once you are proved innocent of being a terrorist, you will them be charged with causing a public disturbance and wasting police time. You will also be billed for the cost of the checks.

      Future Britain, powered by Labour, burning your privacy.

      *This is why ID cards CANNOT work, the checks are local, no real-time connection the central DB *and* all intelligence DBs.

  23. g e
    FAIL

    Postnatal amnesia?

    Also under this heading.... postnatal amnesia caused me to forget...

    ...to declare my luxury holiday with David Geffen

    ...to pay for my moat extension out of my own pocket

    ...to represent my constituents' interests above my own

    ...to remind the police force they serve the public not the converse

    ...to resign as Prime Minister

    ...to make the banks pay for their own fuckups and send the shareholders home in tears

    ...to cancel Xmas on religious equality grounds (the silver lining...)

  24. Glyn 2
    Black Helicopters

    uptake

    What's the latest on the uptake in Manchester?

    Last I heard it was 2000 people I think after 3 months in a city of how many million?!?!!?

  25. Anonymous Coward
    FAIL

    Show us the proof

    "Identity cards are already proving themselves extremely useful in daily life, from opening a bank account to entering a nightclub, and for travel to Europe,"

    Really? Can the person who claimed to be her (it might not actually have been her - she couldn't produce her ID card to prove who she said she was) actually provide real solid evidence for this statement or is this just more government bullshit?

  26. yossarianuk

    Maybe she had something to hide?

    I can only assume that she must be guilty of god knows what, after all if she had nothing to hide why did she not have her card,

  27. Ad Fundum
    FAIL

    From Wikipedia ...

    "In December 2009, while trying to promote the extremely unpopular ID card program in Manchester, UK she had to admit that she had managed to forget her own, blaming the loss on baby related dementia. She thus joined a growing number of UK politicians such as Baroness Scotland who legislate to enforce behaviours they themselves can not maintain."

  28. DrXym Silver badge

    Still don't see how they prevent anything

    The criteria that ID cards would stop terrorism is fairly hard to swallow. You only have to look at past terrorism attacks and wonder how an ID card would have made the slightest bit of difference. ID cards might provide a small amount of additional intelligence but for a vast ongoing expense and administrative overhead. And since they're not mandatory, I doubt they'll do much of that either. The money most certainly could be put to better use elsewhere in counter terrorism, infrastructure security etc.

    1. Sir Runcible Spoon Silver badge
      Flame

      I like traffic lights

      I thought everyone knew that the ID cards (+database, +dna, +crb whisper control) are the fundamental basics required for mass population control.

      Information is power.

      The only defence is for enough people in this dog-forsaken country to grow a set of balls and say no*

      *no == refusal ; information sabotage; protests; anything else that will obtain the desired result.

      Flames - coz that's how I see it all ending.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        I was thinking of running!

        I don't care who I tell to fuck off and don't come back. I mean, in that sense I think it a shame Bush isn't Pres anymore!

        Though I'm possibly not the most diplomatic choice, either way it requires support. From the Reg comments section you get the idea there ought to be a lot of it.

  29. Mike Richards Silver badge

    Jesus wept

    This daft bint has to do ONE thing to retain her ministerial salary.

    Just ONE THING - she has to remember to pick up her ID card so she can do her job promoting ID cards.

    And she couldn't even do that.

    There are things without spines lurking in mangrove swamps blowing bubbles that would make better government officials than Meg Hillier.

    (And can we have a slightly larger FAIL icon - the current one seems somewhat inadequate for this case)

    1. Steve Roper
      Pint

      Brilliant description, sir!

      "There are things without spines lurking in mangrove swamps blowing bubbles that would make better government officials than..."

      Absolutely brilliant. If you don't mind, I'm going to steal that description for use in describing Australia's own less-than spineless bubble-blowing mangrove-swamp lurker, Stephen Conroy!

      Here's your pint. Cheers!

  30. Oliver 7
    FAIL

    Meg the mug

    I reckon nobody in Lab 2.0 actually likes Meg, otherwise she wouldn't have been handed this dog's dinner of a project. I'm sure own goals like this will just make her even more unpopular with her colleagues. What a fucking choob!

    Come the election this charade will either be swept aside by the tories or quietly dropped, if the current incumbents somehow win. At a time when swingeing cuts in public expenditure are mandated (even if the chancellor is holding out) common sense dictates that this must be first in the queue for the heave-ho.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Yes, that's the trouble...

      ...with common sense!

  31. tiggertaebo
    FAIL

    Could it be?

    Have we found the most epic of the epic fails?

  32. Meh!
    FAIL

    Hahaha

    I've written to my MP (who is labour) asking that he write to Meg the Mug to provide evidence to back up her assertion:

    "Identity cards are already proving themselves extremely useful in daily life, from opening a bank account to entering a nightclub, and for travel to Europe,"

    Or issue a public statement retracting it.

    To my surprise, he emailed me back (within 10 minutes no less) saying he would do just that. Keep this story open...

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      I wrote to

      Alan Johnson, and called him a cunt. But I haven't heard back from him!

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Pint

      hahaha indeed.

      Good show sir. I do hope this gets a nice follow-up.

  33. Eponymous Cowherd
    Big Brother

    Baby?

    I wonder if said sprog will be enrolled onto ContactPoint?

    Nothing to fear, Nothing to hide, Meg.......

  34. MJI Silver badge
    Big Brother

    Not just the surname - first name too

    I first read her first name as the Red Dward swear word

    Meg

    Smeg

    Hiller

    Hitler

    Does it matter?

  35. MJI Silver badge
    Coat

    DWARF

    I meant Dwarf xxxxxxxing keyboards

  36. Graham Marsden
    FAIL

    "Under the current situation...

    "...people bring their details in and they get lost. This saves a lot of messing around."

    Yes, when we have ID cards and a National ID Register we won't have to lose details one at a time, we can lose them *ALL* in one go!

    That will save *so much* messing around!!!

  37. cynic56

    Thank goodness ...

    "Hillier blamed her forgetfulness on the demands of looking after her baby."

    We can just breathe a sigh of relief that she's only a Government Minister. Imagine the consequences if she had a proper job.

  38. Anonymous Coward
    Grenade

    Anarchy Rules

    Just proves that the gubbermint is populated with f**kwits. If these money grabbing b'stards want me to have a piece of plastic with a picture on it they can issue it. I'm damned if I will pay for one to fund their expenses fiddles. I still have my paper only driving licence which has so far been acceptable along with passport in various parts of the world to hire and drive a car.

  39. mistertee
    Thumb Up

    Thank you

    Being from Manchester, it is always tempting to take the mickey out of scousers. But reading that ...

    "Liverpool councillors last week voted to officially oppose the rollout of ID cards to the city"

    and

    "The Council will not recognise the ID card for official purposes."

    ...has made me see that city in a whole new light. Thank you Liverpool. Thank you, thank you.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Yeahbut

      We still fked over the Con charge so we do have *some* things to be proud of.

  40. Roger Heathcote 1

    I'm thick of it all...

    Meg Hiller == Nicola Murray ?

    1. John Smith 19 Gold badge
      Happy

      Nicola Murry. No chance.

      Had Meg had someone like Malcolm Tucker around this story would never have appeared. He would have used that deft combination of Glaswegian charm and willingness to hit people to ensure a *much* more positive outcom.

      However IRL I do suspect she's had some *huge* promises made that her dedication to this ghastly mess will be remembered in the next government. Although the next Labour government may be a while in coming.

      Why else would she sit still to deal with this mound of S$%t?

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