back to article Gov targets boozers as Manc ID card scheme launches

A handful of lucky Mancunians should be getting their hands on ID cards within ten days, after the government officially kicked off the much-anticipated scheme in the Northern city today. The government has thrown open the appointments book at Identity and Passport Offices in the city and at Manchester Airport. So far, there …

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  1. rpjs
    Big Brother

    Oh lord

    "tough legislation introduced this month to clamp down on underage drinking"

    What new assault on liberty and sanity does this entail I wonder?

    1. David 105
      Big Brother

      You know what it entails

      Manchesters boozers will be told to ONLY accept the new ID card, no ID card, no drink. Simples

      1. marvin29
        Grenade

        Figures

        1,300 people have requested an application form.

        Out of a population in Greater Manchester of 2.25m that's actually 0.06% (not 0.6%), or one person in 1,666.

        The number of people eligible to become guinea pigs is greater than 2.25m because people who live outside but work in the Greater Manchester area can sign their identity away for the government to "manage".

      2. Ted Bovis
        Pint

        Ha

        "Dear Manchester boozers,

        Please reduce your clientele to a maximum of 1,386 potential drinkers. If you don't, we will hit you with another badly-drafted law quicker than you can say 'General Election'.

        Thanks awfully,

        Your Masters at the Home Office"

  2. Jimmy Floyd
    Boffin

    What are the odds of that

    Depending on the definition of 'Manchester' (bear with me), that's 1,300 people who want an ID card out of a population of or 450,000 (the city) or 2.25m (Greater Manchester). 2.9% or 0.6% respectively.

    Just out of interest I wonder what percentage of the population are into self-flagellation, sado-masochism or sacrificing goats to the spirit of Tony Blair? I pick those activities purely at random, you understand.

  3. Anonymous John
    Happy

    Title

    "saying that to get a passport, you first had to have a passport."

    That's one hell of an obstacle!

  4. Chuck McGhee
    Big Brother

    Genius

    "With research by the Identity and Passport Service showing that nearly ten per cent of passports are lost by young people on nights out"

    Ooooook. So, firstly, why on earth were the IPS researching lost items on boozy nights out? B, why are people taking passports out with them when there are much easier ways to prove identity/age within our own borders and iii) is the ID card going to be somehow welded to us so it can't be dropped in the same way as a passport?

  5. Mark Monaghan
    Coat

    You're my best mate you are

    Given that "nearly ten per cent of passports are lost by young people on nights out", I wonder how many of the bars in Manchester have readers to confirm that the ID card is both genuine and is being used by its owner.

    Does iris recognition work after seven pints of strong lager?

    It's the one with the pocket full of plastic cards - and the schizophrenia medication.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    MPs and Second homes

    His ID card has to be updated with his address details, when he flips his home, this means that the ID database needs to be updated with the new address each flip. So I want to see all MPs have their ID cards. I'd love to catch them with their main home defined as one address and the ID card connected to a different one.

    "Still, Home Secretary Alan Johnson flashed one as he travelled to a ministerial meeting in Brussels yesterday."

    You know he flashed his card to get ON THE EUROSTAR... to EXIT Britain! (There's no passport control on the French side). If you look at the photo, the Beeb has a details snap of his card as he entered the train! The idiot held up the *real* card for people to photograph. You'd think they'd learned from all the documents taken into number 10.

    Not only that he has a passport, so he paid for a Passport AND an ID card, as will anyone who has this, because it's this card is not equivalent to a passport. (Actually I bet he claimed it on expenses or got it for free).

    Passports were only £18 when Labour came into power, so it's only cheap because they made passports expensive. No doubt, young people will be required to have an ID card to get a drink to prove they are old enough to drink. Their student id presumably no longer accepted.

    I wonder, what happens if Gary McKinnon doesn't have a passport, how does he get on the plane given you need an ID document to exit Britain now?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Student Id's haven't been accepted for years.

      They don't carry dates of birth usually. Driving licence/Passport/Proof of age card with pass hologram seem to be the favourites.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Happy

      correction

      The French passport/customs entry control is on OUR side of the chunnel - ours is on THEIR side. So the 'On the eurostar....to exit britain' bit is not true, he actually flashed it to enter France (strange but true).

      However I agree with your sentiment. :-)

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Is it just me...

    ...or does "With research by the Identity and Passport Service showing that nearly ten per cent of passports are lost by young people on nights out" make no sense?

    Are they saying that 10% of all extant UK passports are lost by young people on nights out? Or that 10% of all passports lost are lost by young people on nights out? Or something entirely different? Both those figure seem ridiculously high.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      It means...

      ...every student in Manchester gets pissed up then tears the bit with the picture on off lest they be identified. Most barpersons only check the visa anyway. The survey determined the percentage having weighed the passports before the students went out and again when they came back.

      But I'd like to know what percentage of Manchester students require their passport when buying an eighth?

    2. Chris 180

      It's not that unlikely

      I can easily believe that 10% of passports lost are lost by young people on nights out.

      Most people need to take their passport outside their home maybe 3 or 4 times a year. A lot of young people who don't have a driving licence take it out at least once a week so there's much more opportunity to lose it.

      Or (as happened to me a few years ago) have it stolen from a nightclub cloakroom.

  8. Nomen Publicus
    FAIL

    No clue minister?

    I can state for certain that exactly zero percent of the Manchester student population carry their passport when going out for a drink. Many of them will carry their Students Union card, but none need a passport. Manchester pubs and clubs have no desire to exclude students for any other reason except poor fashion sense...

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    So he's out of the country?

    Please can someone ring up the IPS and report his passport stolen? Should be fun when he tries to get back in with just and ID card. Anon for obvious reasons.

  10. John G Imrie
    Happy

    Research oppertunity

    "With research by the Identity and Passport Service showing that nearly ten per cent of passports are lost by young people on nights out and tough legislation introduced this month to clamp down on underage drinking, it will be more important than ever for young people to have access to a universally accepted proof of age."

    So how do I get funding to do research on how many ID cards are lost on nights out?

    I'll give you a quick preview of my preliminary results: 10%

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Big Brother

    Reference

    My mate works an manchester airport, and I'm down on the form as his reference (apparently, I'm 'professional').

    Unfortunately, he got a bit confused, and filled half the form in as if he was me. Not sure what's going to happen now . . . maybe I'll be one of the first they come for when Mandelson decides to take over and make this mandatory?

  12. This post has been deleted by its author

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Just get a provisional driving licence.

    At £50, much cheaper than the passport + Id card combo, plus you get to keep your biometrics to yourself.

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Pint

    This could be end of ID cards

    History tells us that the social group most likely to find work-arounds to save money are...well...students (I can vouch for this when I worked for BT as virtually all phone hacks came from universities, and hence they were always the 'pilot' for new/improved secure mechanisms for phone systems).

    By encouraging students to be in the trial the government may inadvertently provoked the student population to concentrate efforts on Fake IDs - and I expect them to succeed (as indeed the ID card has already been successfully faked elsewhere). And when this happens the IDea could once and for all be dead - here's hoping.

    Beer - 'cos it will be over a few pints of this that the hacks will be created

    1. Christoph Silver badge
      Grenade

      Students???

      These of course would be the same students who are having to go on the game to get enough money for food because their loans have not arrived.

      And they're expected to shell out a fortune for an ID card to the same government that is too incompetent to give them any money?

  15. Nebulo
    Pint

    Nice subtitle

    "Gis yer face to get off your face innit"? :)

    I'd have to be totally off my face to even consider it innit. Fortunately there's not enough beer in the Reg's icon to get me that way.

  16. blackworx
    WTF?

    Translated for the hard of thinking:

    "With research by the Identity and Passport Service showing that drinking is more important to young people than having an ID card, and tough legislation introduced this month to make it almost impossible for anyone under the age of thirty to buy a drink without ID, it will be more important than ever over the coming months for us to convince you this crock of shit is the solution to an imaginary problem we contrived for you."

    Fixed.

    PS: Reg, I like the new comment pages, but it's only a matter of time before it all gets blocked for loads of people because the URL begins with the word "forums". And hey I liked scrolling down through hundreds of comments keeping track of all the different conversation threads. Kept the brain ticking over, made me feel less like I was skiving.

  17. David 105
    FAIL

    stupid pointless waste of money etc

    "It can be used by young people as a convenient and universal proof of age and as a credit-card sized alternative to the passport when travelling in Europe,"

    Photo driving license does this as well, without the obscene intrusion into our private lives. If you're going to dream up a new Stalinist ID card, at least put some new bells and whistles on it to sell it to the idiot sheeple!

    Fail because I'm hoping this scheme does

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Fail

      It already has failed mate, it's just got to lie down and die a graceful death. Unfortunately, given the expenditure so far, I doubt it will.

  18. Clint Sharp
    Pint

    Ahh finally...

    They admit it, you need to be drunk to get an ID card...

    I can see it now, waking up in the morning, the obligatory traffic cone, kebab remnants stuck to your face and/or chest hair, clothes smelling vaguely of vomit, Susan Boyle in bed next to you and oh cfuk, how did that happen, noooooooo, a fucking ID card, I hope nobody saw me going home with that......

  19. John Smith 19 Gold badge
    Coat

    So "Big" Als got one

    These politicians.

    All the perks

    Mortage on expenses

    Free travel

    and *now* no queue national ID card issuing (I rather doubt *such* a VIP could stand around for that nonsense. He's an important man, unlike us).

    And now politicians have them the security will be airtight. I'm sure a government spokesperson said as much.

    Mine's the one with a back issue of Elektor. The one with the extra long range RFID reader design in it.

    something else we have to thank the Dutch for.

  20. Anonymous Coward
    FAIL

    So he flashed the French

    Were they just as unimpressed as everyone else?

  21. bobbyk
    Stop

    Selling the card

    My god, they must be desparate to sell these cards: "Request an application form to win a chance of being flashed by Alan Johnson". Still, at least it wasn't the previous Home Secretary.

  22. This post has been deleted by its author

  23. -tim
    Go

    I'm sure some people want them

    What percentage of people asking for the cards are so they can either sell the cards to an underage friend that looks like them or are being bought so the fake ID guys get a head start on their next product?

  24. Ascylto
    Big Brother

    What do points mean?

    It's time the supermarkets were brought in to offer ID Cards.

    We could get Tesco or Nectar points on the £30. We might even get 'loss leader' offers!

    Or even 'Free ID Card with every purchase of 30 bottles of Stella'

    Or Buy one ID Card and get one FREE!

    They need all the help they can get.

  25. TeeCee Gold badge
    Joke

    Now that's what I call masochism!

    "If you're in Manchester and you're subjecting yourself to the ID card process...."

    That's even more perverted than going to Cornwall and dunking yourself in rotting cowshit. There ought to be a law against it - where's the Faily Wail when you need it?

  26. 0laf Silver badge
    Black Helicopters

    I read the title as

    Gov targets boozers as Maniac ID card scheme launches.

    I can't help but feel I got it right.

  27. ElFatbob
    Thumb Down

    Oh FFS....

    'With research by the Identity and Passport Service showing that nearly ten per cent of passports are lost by young people on nights out'

    You're just making this crap up now.

    If it's true, why TF are we spending public money researching this sort of thing?

    So we've moved from combating terrorism to stopping benefit fraud to sorting out the immigration problem to accessing services to travelling abroad without having your passport to being able to buy alcohol if you are under 25.....

    The longer they continue, the bigger bunch of rsoles they look....

    Mancunians - thankyou for allowing themselves to conrinue looking like twonks...

  28. John 23

    He used it to get out of the UK...

    ...we can only hope that Immigration aren't up to date with reading their memos and refuse to let him back in for not having a valid passport.

  29. Chris Hunt

    @John Smith 19

    No need to be Home Secretary to get "no queue national ID card issuing", just go to Manchester!

  30. lukewarmdog
    Badgers

    Hm

    No student drinks anywhere you need to show much in the way of proof of age.

    If they wont accept your student ID you go somewhere else, there are as many bars as there are students (pretty much) and plenty of places to go including the student union itself.

    If the "research" is actually the answer to the question "why are you applying for a new passport" then of course they're going to say they lost it on a drunken night out, nobody is going to admit to selling it to their room mate / giving it a tout in exchange for tickets to see Morrissey.

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