back to article Aus gov dredges up cuter panic-button for kids online

Salvation for children who feel threatened, harassed or bullied on the internet may be close at hand, in the shape of a user-friendly dolphin-shaped "panic button". That appears to be the upshot of discussions now taking place in the Australian Federal Government’s consultative working group on cyber safety. While their …

COMMENTS

This topic is closed for new posts.
  1. Anonymous Coward
    Jobs Halo

    Pedobear

    Isn't the pedobear cute enough already?

  2. Peter 4

    Silly idea?

    Quote/ The idea is to create a button that parents can download and install on their children's computers: if they then encounter serious trouble online, one click on the button would instantly connect them to police or child protection groups. /unquote.

    I'd press it just to see what happens, and I'm 61!

    P.

  3. Ian Ferguson
    Coat

    Madeleine

    CEOP seem keen on the Madeleine McGann case (see their homepage). Maybe every photo site (flickr etc) should have a 'I've Found Maddie!' button?

  4. Ken Hagan Gold badge
    FAIL

    Words fail me

    "if they then encounter serious trouble online, one click on the button would instantly connect them to police or child protection groups."

    If my kids encounter serious trouble online, then there is already a nice X-shaped button in the top right-hand corner. It doesn't connect them to the police, but frankly, neither will this scheme. What police force in its right mind is going to staff an office to receive button clicks from 8-year-olds?

  5. Martin 6 Silver badge

    And do what

    >instantly connect them to police or child protection groups.

    So a chat window will popup and the 'grownup' on the other end will ask them lots of questions that they must answer because they are the police - can't see any risk in that.

    Or the police will send round a SWAT team?

    Or somebody will just collect statistics on how many children are being 'abused online' (ie pressed the button) each day - to justify allowing Murdoch to run a private Aussie net.

    1. Nick Stallman
      Happy

      No

      No no your doing it all wrong!

      They need a 'I've found Maddie' button which you download and install in your browser.

      Duh.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Can you imagine that in the UK?

    "The idea is to create a button that parents can download and install on their children's computers: if they then encounter serious trouble online, one click on the button would instantly connect them to police or child protection groups."

    Imagine the scene in the UK, the kid visits a site, presses the panic button on their computer. The rozzers rush round to seize the computer, arrest the kid & parents, get a lot of DNA samples, perhaps prosecute the kid for possession of extreme porn.... Is there something encrytped on the computers they can demand decrypted....maybe a prosecution or two in it RESULT!

    On balance, I think the kid is better contacting the parent. The rozzers main interest is in arrests, because that how their performance is measured, the child protection groups always exaggerate problems to maximize fund raising (shall we stop it now?)... so not a good thing to let your kids bypass you.

    If you recall the teacher who was arrested in the US when some virus on the computer popped up a porn site, as if *she* was to blame? That's you that is!

  7. JassMan Silver badge
    WTF?

    Dolphins - are they serious

    One of the randiest mammals on the planet and with a metre long penis to boot, and they want kids to press a button when they don't like something on the interweb. They should make it even more realistic and let the kids play with its joystick.

  8. treboR
    Unhappy

    Connect to sources of help..

    Surely their *parents* should be the first source of help.

    The state can't take the place of parenting, no matter how much the lefties wish it would be so.

    1. skeptical i

      Too many yoofs not raised by parents but by sperm/egg donors

      I agree, treboR, that the state can not (and should not have to) take the place of parenting, but at least here in Amurka there are too many yoofs being housed and fed (I can not say "raised") by parents- in- name- only who couldn't be arsed to use a condom then and can't be arsed to properly raise the outcome now, as our schools, welfare offices, and juvenile justice systems amply demonstrate. So what should we do? An online panic button is far from perfect and does not address the whole of the problem, but if it opens a discussion that includes "Where the heck are the parents?" and then "What should the parents be doing?" it is not a bad idea.

  9. Fractured Cell
    Thumb Down

    We dont want a dolphin,

    We want Sexual Harassment Panda!

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    Great!

    So that's not going to get abused by prats out to waste the authorities time with bogus calls is it?!

    1. *click* *click* *click*

    2. Police gather IP details. attempt to make contact with "clicker"

    3. Prat reboots modem, get's new IP.

    4. Repeat ad-infitum!

  11. Mike Richards Silver badge

    And won't somebody think...

    ...of all those children who have been sexually molested by a dolphin?

  12. Mr Young
    Pint

    Panic Button?

    Sounds good - can I have one? Does it work when the kids ask me for money? Maybe it could put my wallet beside that LHC device then they might not notice it - what with the space/time distortions and all that etc?

  13. Charles Manning
    FAIL

    Kids: Get on the lawn

    Hector's World is targeted at 2 to 9 year olds.

    WTF are 2 year olds surfing the interwebs for?

    Go outside, kick a ball, fall of bikes, fight in the sandpit, graze your knees.... Anyone wonder why the kids of today are so pathetic? We're making them this way.

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Flame

    this button is no substitute

    for adult supervision. Come on parents, take responsibility.

  15. Mark 65 Silver badge

    Kookaburra

    Never heard one make a noise like that in the episodes of flipper I saw and we have to listen to them on a daily basis where I live.

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    It's a data collection tool

    Primarily useful to the likes of CEOP to bolster their soundbites. Reverend Jim (Gamble, CEO, CEOP) recently took great delight in telling BBC Radio4's Today programme that CEOP received 'over 10,000 clicks a month' on it's own panic button. 120,000 clicks a year from children presumably all in danger from 'online predators' sounds SO impressive when trying to promote the Paedogeddon (with one beady eye on the budget for next year).

    I still take issue with that figure of 10,000 clicks a month. I'd like to know how that figure, if at all true, breaks down into actual abuses cases. But let's not hold our breath waiting for answer from CEOP. They don't 'do' explanations, just sensations.

  17. Ken Hagan Gold badge

    @AC (Fri, 02:27)

    "this button is no substitute ... for adult supervision. Come on parents, take responsibility."

    I see no evidence that parents *aren't* taking responsibility. This button is being proposed by a bunch of intrusive tossers who want to *stop* parents from taking responsibility, and hand that responsibility over to the database managers in Whitehall.

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Linux

    and then there will be the spoofs...

    [dolphin button]

    *click*

    ::::||||| I'm looking at dolphin Pr0n, I'm looking at dolphin Pr0n, |||||:::::

    (penguin, dolphin, well it's close-ish)

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    download a button?

    We can download hardware now?

    Crikey....

This topic is closed for new posts.

Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2019