back to article Yank objects to Reg cherry-popping headline

Vulture Central's Kelly Fiveash has until now kept a pretty low profile, avoiding the kind of flak which regularly peppers our inboxes as indignant readers vent their spleen and propel steam from their ears. That changed this week, though, when she rather ill-advisedly decided to trumpet a story with the headline "Google to …

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  1. Tom_

    Fair point, though

    It is a stupid headline.

  2. Thomas 18
    Go

    I love you reg

    I really do

  3. Gordon is not a Moron
    Happy

    "For the record, Kelly has already worked at Hooters"

    May I be at least the third to say...

    Pictures, or it never happened

  4. Jimmy Floyd
    Paris Hilton

    Seaman Staines? Roger the Cabin Boy?

    Don't be too hard on the poor Septic. He probably didn't grow up with such childhood smut-fests as Captain Pugwash, and therefore doesn't fully comprehend how it is possible to be filthy yet respectable at the same time.

    Incidentally, I didn't find out what popping / taking a cherry meant until I was 18. But then I lead a sheltered life ... sheltered behind a ZX Spectrum and a Commodore Amiga, at any rate.

    Paris, because I thought that was a city too...

  5. Anonymous Cowardess
    FAIL

    How old are your children?

    And how come they know what "pop the cherry" means in the first place? Or is this about you being too embarrased to explain when they ask you what it means? And what are they doing googling headlines, if they're so young, that they should be spared the meaning of the term?

  6. Peter Mount
    Pint

    alternate meaning

    IIRC those former colonies of ours have a different meaning to 'popping' than we do, so 'popping the cherry' could have the same meaning of being penetrated by some hot lead (of the gun kind)...

    Also did they mean that only girls could have their 'cherry' popped...

    It's Friday and I've just got back from a liquid lunch so could be wrong here... or not ;-)

  7. Rob
    Go

    Poor love

    I bet Kelly has been down in the dumps, cause your not a full fledged reporter until you get a commentard being a 'tard about one of your stories.

    I would love to know what else his kids have found online that teaches them about the world, let's hope he has a decent filter to keep them away from redhotporn.xxx

  8. Alan Gauton
    WTF?

    Cherry Coke

    Coke recently did a survey on one of their sites - looking for new labels for Cherry Coke - one of them did indeed have "Pop Your Cherry" on it. No idea if it won though.

  9. Arnold Lieberman
    FAIL

    @Jimmy Floyd: urban myth

    It never was:

    http://www.snopes.com/radiotv/tv/pugwash.asp

  10. J-Wick
    Thumb Up

    Reg, keep up the good work!

    Kelly, see me after class, please.

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    The depravity continues

    And let's not even talk about the provocative link to "rack mount solutions" I found at the bottom of the article.

  12. Jim 59
    FAIL

    Yawn

    Complainant was doing quite well until his last sentence turned the whole thing into an internet snark.

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Just as well

    Just as well, Jeff's children don't know what a "Cherry" is then.

    Either they know how disgusting it is or they are innocent and don't know or care what it is it.

    Either way Jeff .... your an arse (no ambiguity there).

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Coffee/keyboard

    Er...

    "but your choice of words displays a lack of class worthy of the internet dustbin."

    You have seen the internet right?! Just about most of it can be chucked in the bin.

    *\. Its never too late.

  15. Tom 15

    Well

    If his children know what popping somebody's cherry is, already, then I don't see how reading an article about Chrome OS is really going to scar their minds. I'd be more worried about the mental health of young children who are either searching for "cherry popping" or the far more concerning "chrome os".

  16. Evoflash
    Stop

    Children Left Unsupervised Horror

    Imagine leaving your children to face the naked (oo-er), sharp blade of the web?? Surely not the way to go. In fact, I once used Google to see if it could find obscenity.

    It did.

    I never quite recovered.

  17. LuMan
    Happy

    @Gordon is not a Moron

    Picture? Well, you could try here:

    http://www.theregister.co.uk/2008/04/18/el_reg_birthday/

    Now, how about a Playmobil mock-up of.... Oh Hell, forget it.

  18. Jim_aka_Jim
    Go

    Think of the kiddies!

    I wish I'd had over protective parents like that, then I too could have avoided having to discover things for myself and not grown up in to a happy, free thinking human being. Oh how I long for deep seeded psychological problems....

  19. Garry Mills
    Happy

    I'm sorry...

    God help them if they ever listen to an episode of I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue...

  20. Charlie van Becelaere
    Pint

    We should have known this was coming (no pun intended)

    Kelly's recent piece on MS Office was titled:

    Office 2010 beta lands in laps of MSDN, TechNet coders

    clearly a reference to her lap-dancing past. Hooters may be the least objectionable part of Kelly's past. One can only hope for further "revelations" as the weeks go by - at the very least a Playmobil reenactment is in order, no?

  21. Ben Morgan
    Joke

    Kelly worked at Hooters?

    Kinda obvious, but someone has to say it:

    Pics or it didn't happen.

  22. /\/\j17
    Troll

    Call me old fashioned...

    OK, you're old fashioned. Now crawl back under your rock until you have developed as a nation.

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Pint

    Pictures.

    "She used to work at hooters........" Is just asking for pictures.

    ....And I don't mean playmobil. :)

    Well it is Friday.

  24. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    Kelly Fiveash for Prime Minister !!

    Oh and we're still waiting for pictures ...

  25. Admiral Grace Hopper
    FAIL

    @Garry Mills

    I remember trying to explain ISIHAC to an American colleague. It didn't go well.

  26. lukewarmdog
    Badgers

    Dear Jim

    Welcome to the Internet.

    Please get your kids off it.

    Kthxbai.

  27. David Webb

    (untitled) is it, honest

    Geben Sie dem armen Amerikanern a break! wenn es nicht für sie wären wir alle Deutsch sprechen jetzt!

    Apparently (gotta love Google translate) :D

  28. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    <gasp>

    The Internets! They are unwholesome! Think of the children!

  29. Number6

    Re: Alternate Meaning

    Being a Yank, he wouldn't have been nearly so upset if the headline had a connectkion with guns and violence rather than sex. Americans are strange like that, the "make love, not war" never really caught on.

  30. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I feel slightly ill

    Just yesterday I was bemoaning how the local corner shop doesn't seem to stock Cherry yoghurt anymore. Its really the only kind I like. Onken. Onken Bonken Cherry Yoghurt? They seem to have stopped doing swordfish too. But it never would have occured to me the two were related. Mind you, they are one of the few places in town you can still get Crunchy Nut Bars.

    They don't half walk funny in that shop!

  31. Jamie Kitson

    Reminds me

    Of that old FOTW...

    Maybe they could smoke a fag afterwards :)

    http://www.theregister.co.uk/2005/11/22/letters_2211/

  32. Neal 5

    How gullible?

    Yeah, right, "She used to work at Hooters"

    Fuck, I thought this sleazy rag had at least a semblance of decency, I don't need pictures, A) You ain't got none, B) If you did, they'd be fakes or PlayMobile, C) She'd be earning a fuck sight more in tips than you'd be paying in wages.

    All this fucking shit about "cherries" wtf is that about, if was anything else you wouldn't be letting her loose giving "head" about all and sundry would you.

    Perhaps the editor can explain, if he values his marriage, that is.

  33. Ian Ferguson
    Alert

    OMG think of the children D:

    If only nasty evil Google was prohibited from indexing news sources, this kind of horrible occurance would never happen!

  34. Stratman
    Heart

    Jeff's children.....

    "Pop, what is this 'Hooters' to which you refer?"

    For his fatherly love, and how he explains his familiarity with the establishment in question.

  35. Anonymous Coward
    WTF?

    Now I might be stoopid but

    what has Kelly's previous job at a car horn manufacturer got to do with poping cherries ?

  36. Richard 23
    Pirate

    @Arnold Lieberman

    But there was a Pirate Willy (snigger snigger) - and a Master Mate, as I recall?

  37. Captain TickTock
    Troll

    Cherry Yoghurt? Pah!

    They have Fanny yoghurt in Finland.

  38. Goatan
    Terminator

    @how gullible

    Deep breathe, its friday, relax a little.

    Perhaps you should try decaf.

    As for the commentard who winged about cherry popping, remember that children are like star systems. The more you tighten your grip, the more they slip through your fingers.

  39. Captain TickTock

    Cherry Yoghurt Part II

    Sorry, I meant strawberry...

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/robwakefield/88877779/

  40. c3
    Grenade

    Do his children know what smells like fish and tastes like chicken ?

    Just being curious.

  41. Ed 17
    Joke

    Sooo...

    "For the record, Kelly has already worked at Hooters. It was how she paid her way through hack school and goes some way to explaining her headline-writing style."

    Is Kelly single?

  42. Garry Mills

    @ Admiral Grace Hopper

    Last week I was actually in front of a lass from New York buying my tickets for the radio recording of ISIHAC next month and did say to her "Hold on, you're American, you won't understand anything!"

  43. Charlie 5

    Why Jeff?

    is that a reference to the movie X-change?

  44. Eponymous Howard
    FAIL

    @jimmy floyd

    No only untrue, but repetition of a libel (El Reg mods note) for which The Guardian paid hefty damages.

  45. jake Silver badge

    From a left-pondian.

    The single most disturbing thing about "Jeff's" apparent hang up with sex is that, somehow, he seems to have managed to reproduce ... One wonders how.

    I've noticed that, here, in the southern large lump of North America, the folks most loudly complaining about other people's opinion of (insert anything personal here, sexual matters being predominant) are the same folks popping out sprog like clockwork ...

  46. ReallyEvilCanine

    Rape & murder story complete with fitting ad:

    Chick-Fil-A.

    Say it out loud.

  47. Don S.
    Paris Hilton

    @Rob

    "I bet Kelly has been down in the dumps, cause your not a full fledged reporter until you get a commentard being a 'tard about one of your stories."

    So she has popped her commentard cherry then?

    Thanks for the nice slow one over the plate.

    Paris 'cause ... yadda, yadda, yadda.

  48. The Fuzzy Wotnot
    WTF?

    Plank!

    How does that guy cope with real life? Being so holier than thou and so righteous, he'd put big J to shame?

    So you let your kids loose on the internet and everyone got easily offended by the simple "cherry popping" quip? How the hell do you avoid all the really serious filth that is out there? Reg oftens carries far more adult orientated stories than a simple quip using a fairly well known euphamism for loss of virginity. I think you need to speak to your kids, I think you'd find they more likely know a lot more about what people can get up to with the less hygenic areas of the human body, than you give them credit!

    Also, I'm sorry mate, but the the double-entendre and seaside-smut is a staple of British life and the mainstay of the Brit comedy entertainment industry, from the Carry-On films to Little Britain, from Citizen Smith to Bottom!

    Vive le smut! Vive la Reg!

  49. Richard 102

    @Admiral Grace Hopper

    I will have you know that I have introduced ISIHAC to some Americans I know. Two of them are in an improv comedy troupe and have incorporated a couple ISIHAC games ... no small feat, adapting radio improv to live stage improv.

  50. the old rang
    Megaphone

    Cheery Cherry Memory...

    I am reminded of an 'adventure' in my youth (think late 50's early 60's). My date and I were joined by another couple and went to the Pink Poodle in Waikiki (I live not far by road, not bridge)

    The waitress came, took the orders and sounded them to the 'cooks' or 'soda jerks,' if you will.

    My date, took her time, and ordered last. She asked for a 'cherry coke' ...

    The waitress, turned and sounded out 'ONE VIRGIN COKE!!"

    My date, redder than the cherry juice that would have been used to anoint said coke... Immediately changed here order to just a plain coke...

    The waitress, turned again and sounded out... "SCREW IT!!"

    (This really happened, and I doubt we were the only ones it happened to)

    If your critic was offended by your headline in 2009...

    And that was not a problem in 1960 Honolulu...

    I think the sensitivity level of the audience member involved is set higher than the vernacular of the day, not to mention The Reg.

    Maybe, like a good car seat... he should tuck and roll with the punch lines, instead of being like an over inflated balloon chair and getting blown out of proportion.

    The Reg has its faults (don't we all) and I don't agree with all that is said. But, I try to criticise not so much the tone and timbre of the writing style, as much as pick at that which I disagree with at a more technologyical or political level.

    The land is still somewhat a free country... for now. And you have every right to speak your piece (kind fo like I am doing now). But, trying to muffle humor (humour? gag lines!!) is kind of too politically correct to be in vogue with this site.

  51. Jerry 8
    Grenade

    A BOX of cherries

    I hereby donate a box of out of season juicy cherries to the ex-hooters reporter.

  52. tumbleworld
    Pirate

    Black Pig? That's not very PC.

    @23, although it's true that there weren't any rogered cabin boys or stained seamen aboard the Black Pig, frankly the whole of Pugwash had a vaguely filthy air to it. Just the name 'Pugwash' sounds like a horrible deviancy. I recently watched -- Great God! -- a whole DVD of Cap'n Pugwash episodes, and I can assure you that you'd need to be young and innocent indeed not to see anything suspicious in it.

    Besides, Pugwash repeatedly mis-pronounces Master Mate as masturbate.

  53. LewFoo
    Unhappy

    Your You're

    Frankly I don't give a flying fig where the charming, yet slightly ribald, Kelly may or may not have worked before entering the El Reg Realm of Silliness.

    I just wish your commentards would PLEASE learn the difference between your (the possessive form) and you’re (the contraction of “your are”). For crying out loud, it’s like nails on a blackboard in my brain reading that carelessly written crap.

  54. Dale Morgan
    FAIL

    If he has children

    Then he must of grown up during the days when there were topless females plastered all over the main stream newspapers.

    hypocracy at its finest

  55. unitron

    Taking both sides...

    As a hostage to Time-Warner Cable service I was at first surprised to find anyone there, including subsidiary News 14 Carolina, aware of the existence of El Reg, but then I realised that it only happened because his kids stumbled upon it via that google thingie, thus preserving TWC's general cluelessness.

    In fairness to Jeff, though, there probably have never been all that many *news headlines* talking about "popping cherries", or, to use the verb you quote him as using, "busting" them.

    However, he really needs to decide if he wants his children learning about world news or if he wants to continue to try to protect their tender sensibilities and youthful naivete. I fear he will find these two goals mutually exclusive.

  56. unitron

    Southern newspapers paginated 1,2,4,5,6...

    "If he has children #

    By Dale Morgan Posted Saturday 21st November 2009 00:48 GMT

    FAIL

    Then he must of grown up during the days when there were topless females plastered all over the main stream newspapers."

    Not in North Carolina he didn't.

    (our newspapers really don't skip from page 2 to page 4 the way I understand some buildings avoid a 13th floor, but the content is not what made Rupert rich).

  57. jake Silver badge

    @Dale Morgan

    "Then he must of grown up during the days when there were topless females plastered all over the main stream newspapers."

    Not here in the USofA ... puritanism is a loud subset of the population, and unfortunately the people with "old money" run the place. On the other hand, there are alternatives to the mainstream press ... for example, I suspect that your "Guardian" would be horrified by "The San Francisco Bay Guardian" ;-)

    www.sfbg.com

    It might surprise some folks posting from Blighty, but when my parents dragged the family to England[1] in the late 60s and early 70s (roughly my teenage years), they didn't hide publications like "The Sun" and various odds & ends like seaside postcards from us four kids. Not all of the population of the United States are prudes.

    On the other hand, I'm a child of the sixties ... and my parents got their degrees from Berkeley.

    [1] Bude for a couple years (ending in my 11+), then back to the states, then Harrogate for me "O" and "A" levels ... followed by two years at Kings College, and a transfer to Berkeley for my first two degrees. No wonder I'm weird.

  58. Mr Mark V Thomas

    Re: Alternate Meanings

    The American author Jack Vance wrote a series of Books, whose collective title I forget, involving a Human, transported to a alien world, trying to get back home...

    Book 3 of this series was entitled Servants of The Wankh, & involved our hero trying to avoid, said servants, called in the book, Wankhmen...

    Needless to say, when released in the U.K under this title, the author was suprised by the British response to said title.

    As a result, the book had to be retitled , & later when interviewed, he remarked how dirty minded the British were...

  59. Winkypop Silver badge
    Grenade

    Americans eh?

    If they're not extolling the virtues of some invisible sky god, they are blowing each other away with military style hardware, or both.

    Oh the irony...

  60. cordwainer 1

    Does everything really have to be tasteless?

    One commenter notes:

    "I think the sensitivity level of the audience member involved is set higher than the vernacular of the day, not to mention The Reg."

    Seems to me it's the other way around. I think the sensitivity of the Reg readership, as evidenced by the comments so far, is set lower than the majority of the day. The phrase IS crude, and a lot of us are getting a little tired of the adolescent minority arguing that anyone who gets bent out of shape about crudity has a problem and needs to grow up.

    It's a little difficult to figure out in the first place how a company sharing more detail about a new OS equates to the OS losing its virginity. I agree completely with the first poster who commented simply, "It is a stupid headline."

    Out of curiosity, I have to ask those who defend crudity with regard to describing a woman's loss of her virginity: how many of you are parents? And if you think those who object to the phraseology are over-sensitive....say your 7 year old daughter comes to you, Dad, or you, Mom, and asks what the headline means. How are you planning to answer her? "Well, dear, all women have something known as a hymen...and when a man has intercourse with a woman, and puts his penis in her vagina...."

    OK, exactly how comfortable are you now with having a discussion about sex with your 7 year old? Did you prefer to wait until she was older? Or until your 6 year old son was older? But they're asking you now.

    And if you get through the explanation of what "cherry popping" means, and your child asks you, "But why does it say Google is going to pop Chrome's cherry," what is your answer?

    That's exactly what I would ask the headline writer, frankly. What do you advise a parent to answer? Why choose that phrase? And how do you explain the relationship between the breaking of a girl's hymen during intercourse and a company revealing more information about its new OS? Was the OS's virginity taken? Is an announcement the same as intercourse or rape?

    Sure, this is not a site that we think of as being very interesting to children. But children are interested in the darnedest things...and what Net Nanny or Big Brother software out there blocks the Reg? The Reg is not a porn site. It's for technology news.

    And I have to say: even as an adult female, I find the phrase distasteful, but only partly because it's more commonly linked with porn than mainstream news. The really objectionable thing is that it implies losing one's virginity is a violent or aggressive act. For some, no doubt it is. But it shouldn't be, and it is disturbingly sad that so many commenters here fail to see how the phrase perpetuates a stereotype we need to toss out.

    We need to stop reducing sex to an "act," and start teaching our children it is an expression of love. Not violence or control or damage....affection and love.

    And what does this comment have to do with technology? How does it relate to IT?

    Nothing at all. It doesn't. But then, neither does the headline.

    So I choose to object to the extremely poor choice of words, and stand instead on the side of humanity, friendship, gentleness, and love. Maybe the Reg will, in light of those ideals, instruct the writer to show a little class (have her look up the definition of that word) in future. Someone also ought to take her aside and explain kindly that vulgar does not equal "hip" or "cool." It only equals vulgar.

    Cheers,

    cordwainer

  61. Anonymous Coward
    FAIL

    @Lew Foo

    "you’re (the contraction of “your are”). For crying out loud, it’s like nails on a blackboard in my brain reading that carelessly written crap."

    Well, "your are" is clearly carelessly written crap, as it should be "you are", so I suspect the brain you're referring to is probably not the biggest one going.

  62. Doug Glass
    Happy

    @Winkypop

    Smile when you say that pommy.. and be sure we see your brown rotting teeth. :+)

  63. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Presumably Jeff hasn't got as far as reading any of the comments pages

    the kind of language used hereabouts will give him a fucking coronary

  64. JaitcH
    Grenade

    Dumb Southerner thumping his bible

    The fool who complained is apparently unaware there are cultural differences between most countries and America, mainly because America lacks culture.

    The prime audience of The Register is British and technical so it is unlikely deviants, xuch as the complainant, would be attracted to this web site.

    Given the visual trash that is shown on TV in his town, including less than innuendo when it comes to sexual content, instead of writing to England he should direct his remarks to adjacent TV stations.

    BTW, Jeff of North Carolina, on your stations web site the following titillating words need your attention: "holes, many critical" (10/14/2009); "hole - 5 times" (11/20/200); and, horror of horrors "breast " (10/24/2009) ELEVEN TIMES!

    I think breast is much more licentious than cherry, wild or otherwise.

  65. the old rang
    Badgers

    Re: Does everything really have to be tasteless? #

    I find some things, RUDELY tasteless...

    Take how the scandal over the chaps faking the research over global warming were cooking the data... and most of the world press (brainless supporters of the long known useless data) are ignoring the story.

    How all the rats in various government agencies from the smallest EU to the UN are covering their tracks so as not to be shown as partaking of the scam... Starting with Mr. Brown, maybe??

    Anyway, they are all scurrying to the rat-holes and the media is doing the same as they did when Drudge reported the Lewinski matter. Nothing... at least, until they have no choice.

    But... IT IS News, just not the kind of news the media can mis-report, fabricate, and totally lie about, quite as easily, since it shows how they have not done THEIR jobs for 40+ years. (as in the Chap at Goddard weather (algores mentor) who was fired for cooking the data to prove October 2008 was hottest by copy pasting July data from Siberia into August, September, October.) MHM (meat head media) reports, buried, if mentioned at all

    Since they are going to ruin industries and gild their own pockets, certain political entities wanting to rape the world for their own gain, don't want that news out...

    That, dear gentle lady, is not only vulgar... but will kill millions, putting more into poverty, slavery and ... if you will, subject to more 'cherry popping' for both males and females, than Genghis Khan, the Vandals, and the Huns combined. I guess it is OK, though, since they almost used proper grammar and etiquette.

    And that is only one instance.

    If you don't want to know what is going on, please go back to the New York, LA or London Times.

    If you do, the wild and woolly inter net may be the place to find it...

    If you want 'civilisation'--- Try the BBC, ABC, CNN et al... Don't expect to know anything... they don't have it there and have not had it for years..

    You're (see, I can use it right) looking for two things, not found together now a days - REAL news, and 'veddy veddy proper media reporting.'

    The Reg is not that proper.

    The main stream media is rarely guilty of truthfully reporting the news.

  66. the old rang
    Linux

    PS: to Does everything really have to be tasteless? #

    http://www.gmanews.tv/story/177346/climate-change-pushes-poor-women-to-prostitution-dangerous-work

    Combine that article, with my post and the manipulation of data to prove global warming...

    and let me know (intelligently) where the MHM and sensibilities are.

    Also... Breaking a Cherry can be explained simply enough, to a child, without lying.

    It 'simply' mean a first step into maturity. AS IN... Google is bringing out a new operating system. The first step is to announce it nearing release.

  67. jake Silver badge

    @cordwainer

    "So I choose to object to the extremely poor choice of words"

    You can choose whatever you want. The vernacular is the vernacular. Get used to it.

    "and stand instead on the side of humanity, friendship, gentleness, and love."

    This is a tech site. Friendship, perhaps. Humanity, gentleness & love has nothing to do with technology. Technology is a "how it works, in real life" thing. The other three are purely emotional, and pretty much empirical, if not ethereal, and/or ephemeral.

    "Maybe the Reg will, in light of those ideals, instruct the writer to show a little class (have her look up the definition of that word) in future.

    I'm pretty certain you've been reading ElReg nearly as long as I have ... Why would you expect "class" in the future, when it has never been in evidence in the past? This is a fucking red-top, and from what I have seen they are proud of it! The fact that they manage to provide actual, real, technological news, usually faster than so-called "real" news services provide the same info, is just gravy.

    "Someone also ought to take her aside and explain kindly that vulgar does not equal "hip" or "cool." It only equals vulgar."

    Here, I agree with you! But not for the same reason, apparently. Sometimes "hospital humor" is a good idea ... for example, when the writer isn't trying to be "hip" or "cool", but rather is being vulgar with the obvious intention of being humorous, usually with the intent of pointing out that the article in question is pointing out the stupidity of whatever the article is commenting on.

    And no, my daughter wasn't shielded from the reality of sexuality when she was growing up, no more than I was (we both pretty much grew up in a barn). When she had questions, we had answers. Nothing was taboo, with the exception of trying to work around the concept of "privacy". Today, she's happily married, and her own children are doing well ... and growing up in a barn.

    City folks ... somehow we need to figure out how to educate city folks ...

  68. Winkypop Silver badge
    Thumb Down

    @ Doug Glass

    Pommy?

    Me?

    Oh no, not me son.

  69. william henderson 1

    well....

    no doubt the guy never considered wiping his arse on teh bibel..................

  70. David Hughes
    Paris Hilton

    News 14 Carolina Wastoid

    News 14 Carolina?! feh! Just a smaller, wanna-be, look-a-like of Fox "News" (gag) Network put up only on Time Warner Cable, and employing 3rd rate, can't-make-it-in-the-real-world-of-commercial-TV, talking head goofball losers. I'm from NC and have the option to watch their tripe anytime I'm foolish enough to pause on their channel. What a bunch of ugly goobers! Jeff is one I'm not familiar with because I hardly ever DO pause on their channel, but it doesn't surprise me that he would object to such horrific verbage as "popping a cherry". Typical right-wing hypocrisy, but NOT even remotely confined to the southern US - it happens in every country when folks think they know what's best for everyone less endowed with moral superiority than they are. You Brits might just want to have yourselves a hot n' nasty tea-party sometime real soon with those goons in your country wanting to video your every move and stockpile DNA from every person living there. Danger Will Robinson, DANGER!!!

    On a much sadder note (really), the case of the 5 y.o. sold by her mother to settle a drug debt, then raped and killed by some horrible animal of a human being, and dumped into a back lot with rotting deer carcasses is a true human tragedy that shouldn't be made light of in the same story as this loser's lame comments.

    The Reg has always been known for its funny, punny, and off the wall headlines. It has also given us in your Former colony, many opportunities to utter "What the FUCK does THAT mean?!" - followed by a quick Google of some incomprehensible Brit slang term or other. Live and Learn Y'all!

    Paris, cause like "Jeff", her time is almost up.

  71. Rattus Rattus
    Pint

    Because, of course,

    ... "professional" journalists never, ever say naughty words.

    The rest of us love you as you are, El Reg. In fact, could I please ask for extra innuendo as I don't feel there is currently enough in your articles.

  72. Ed Blackshaw Silver badge
    FAIL

    @Cordwainer (and others)

    "And if you think those who object to the phraseology are over-sensitive....say your 7 year old daughter comes to you, Dad, or you, Mom, and asks what the headline means. How are you planning to answer her?"

    How about answering this in the way my parents (and I imagine many others) did when I asked such questions? That is, to state that it is a phrase that adults use and that they are too young to understand. When I was a child, I was occasionally exposed to adult humour on the television. The smutty stuff I simply didn't understand. My parents were intelligent enough to realise that what I didn't understand wasn't about to warp my precious little mind.

    As to the original headline, when I read it, I thought that it was probably a little crude but then read past it and got on with my life, rather than immediately thinking, 'I should complain about that right now!' If the original commentard found this so offensive, then maybe he should be supervising his offsprings' use of the internet more thoroughly, or perhaps not allowing them access to it until he deems them old enough to view it's content. There is such a thing as parental responsibility after all.

  73. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    @cordwainer

    'Out of curiosity, I have to ask those who defend crudity with regard to describing a woman's loss of her virginity: how many of you are parents? And if you think those who object to the phraseology are over-sensitive....say your 7 year old daughter comes to you, Dad, or you, Mom, and asks what the headline means. How are you planning to answer her? "Well, dear, all women have something known as a hymen...and when a man has intercourse with a woman, and puts his penis in her vagina...."'

    You have confirmed what I long suspected. Most people who call for sensorship of sexual (even vaguely sexual) content in the media are simply worried about their kids embarrassing them.

  74. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Wow

    She went to Hacktard school? Was it closed?

  75. Paul Smart
    Headmaster

    pedant

    What is it with people and spelling. Since when did "your" mean the same as "you're"? Retardtards.

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