Jesus Fucking Christ.
I made 38 seconds....
Those of you who object to a) Microsoft, b) California and c) effusive Yanks gushing complete and utter cobblers are advised to look away now, because what follows is really going to put a downer on your day. Introducing Brad Slavin, who just happened to be in a shopping mall in Mission Viejo, unaware he was about to …
This is one of those so called 'viral' ads. Excuse me while I puke up.
Anyone getting that 'excited' about computer software needs executed. At least Apple do make some hardware stuff so having real shops might make some sort of sense, MS would be better of doing mail order and selling through established chains.
Hang on a sec....
I am so glad I do not work there - being a Brit there are loads of things to be ashamed of but I am happy to be stuffy if it means we do not do this kind of stuff.
If I had been in the store I as a customer, I would have walked out - those staff should be serving customers not doing some stupid corporate dance.
Corporate culture - resist the crap!
"I need a little time to think it over."
I think that this actually means:
"I need a little time to count the huge wodge of cash in a brown envelope I've just found in my jacket pocket."
I like to think the best of people, so I'm assuming that he's an intelligent bloke whose just taken a fat bung rather than the complete gushing arsehatted fanboi convert he comes across as.
I once had the misfortune to go to dinner in Australia one day to a well know steak house that served, well....steak! It was all Amercanised right down to the staff uniform, cowboy hats, cowboy boots and cowboy shirts. And amazingly enough, right in the middle of serving, they all lined up in the middle of the floor and did a line dance, all smiling and happy and spontaneous. And I am sure, before starting work that night, the manager had given them a pep talk something along the lines of...."YOU WILL F&^%$#ING DANCE TONIGHT, AND YOU WILL LOOK F&^%$#ING HAPPY DOING IT, AND IF YOU DON'T LOOK F*&^%$#ING HAPPY DOING IT I AM GOING TO FIRE YOUR WORTHLESS F(*&^%ING A(*&^%$S INTO NEXT F&^%$#IING WEEK, F*&^%$ING GOT THAT?"
Yeah right, just watch blue Tshirt over white long sleve cue them all in at 0:15. Over by the pillar.
They're not a patch on the staff at Apple store Geneva where they are actually helping customers rather than dancing-like-ur-dad (along with the rest of Microsoft).
.. I kept on waiting for a close up of the well endowed lass in the green T-shirt, but to no avail. (for pure alien scientific anthropology reasons I assure you)
Seems like our esteemed blogger is not your typical red blooded male (or alien).. which also explains why got so excited when his fellow humans broke out in dance.
Poor sod... (now where did I put that list of human candidates for alien anal probing...?)
Let me get this right, you're going to change your OS and hardware because you saw some people dancing in a shop???
What other shopping decisions could be influenced like this? "Reggae Reggae sauce" maybe?
How about all the Sony store employees all singing the current number one chart hit to get you to buy Sony or the Bose store people putting on a "spontaneous" performance of "West Side Story" to make you buy overpriced hifi.
Do the great unwashed masses really base their high value purchasing decisions on the flimflam of advertising and marketing ??? I despair for the human race.
(As opposed to a bit of research and actually using the product in the shop)
This is so obviously planned, practiced and rehearsed. You can see some background shoppers trying to join in and see what happens with real "spontaneous" dancing. They all do different moves at different times.
It's hard for me to judge, as I have no use for Microsoft products in any case, but is it now getting to the point that people who want to buy Windows are finding that it is just too embarrassing to have anything to do with it?
I suppose they can always get it by mail order in a plain brown packet and use it at home with the curtains drawn.
yeah, like that fat bloke in the blue shirt spontaneously breaks well choreographed song all the time... the only thing he'll ever do spontaneously is combust, and this is from one fat bloke to another.
I couldn't watch it all, I didn't want to have to clean vomit off my computer...
MS and this blogger twit should be ashamed of themselves...
And please: what utter tosh. Spontaneous my backside.
And no serious blogger would use those phrases. Just because someone makes a "bold move to capture market share" (isn't that the POINT of having a company?) doesn't mean you ditch orders and convert. In fact, such "conversion" makes your opinion EVEN LESS important in my opinion - anyone who can be swayed by dancing pillocks in a store within an hour obviously hasn't sat down and considered all the angles, the same as anyone who signs a contract on the doorstep. Mac order cancelled or not, you're a fool to order something that you could be talked out of wanting within a short trip to a store you didn't know about.
"Its easy to see that Microsoft primarily is a software company committed to changing the world through technical innovation" is one quote from his blog. I think that says it all. The only shame is that he's going to get hits on his blog for this.
I skipped to the middle of the video and watched for 3 seconds.
If I walked into a store and that happened I would never enter the store again, and would defiantly not purchase any thing from it.
Only Willy Wonker would get his staff to do something so obviously forced and off putting.
The blog is just as bad, if this isn't someone being paid by Redmond to write it, I would suggest they see a psychiatrist.
Ummm... "I ordered a copy of Windows 7 Ultimate edition – I have been a hard core Mac person for the past five years, I completely bypassed the Windows Vista experience"...
That's the same guy who wrote - on the same blog - "Windows Vista has been in development for roughly five years and I have been actively involved as a beta tester for the last few months." (http://www.bradslavin.com/2007/01/02/upgrading-to-vista/) ???
Either I've missed something obvious, or Mr. Slavin is the most inept astroturfer I've seen. "Subtle Persuasions", my arse.
Or Lester's ass. ;-)
So what he's saying is MS staff can apparently have a laugh so he's cancelled his order for a Mac? So presumably the basis of all his purchase decisions is down to whether the the sales people are fun. Or to put it another way he doesn't buy stuff because it's actually any good. He's a Californian alright.
I made to 30 seconds before I realized what I was watching.
It's not contrived at all is it ?
They all look so happy - yes maybe he's right, maybe it is about time to switch from Unix to some flaky, shit OS because I've seen some twats made to dance in a glitzy new shop ?
Will elReg publish just any faked-up PR rubbish these days? It looks like it.
If that was spontaneous then I am the Queen of Sheba and you may bow down and worship me!
Also, why didn't you consider who this was that just happened to have his video camera out and recording when this all kicked off... that's right: Brad Slavin, Chief Conversion Officer of an Internet based marketing company!
So we are supposed to believe that all that perfectly choreographed and synchronized rubbish just happened out of nothing more than the pure joy of working for Microsoft, and by absolute chance got accidentally videoed by someone whose job it is to use the Internet to make tech products look good.
Must rush, have to nip out and video those pigs flying past.
I used to go to a western-style burger restaurant where every 15 or so minutes the music in the place would go to 11 and ALL the staff, including the kitchen hands, would do a very similar 2 minute routine. The music would go down and they would get back to work as though nothing had happened.
Too much korporate kool aid perhaps?
I beg to differ. A couple of years ago, I was invited along to the initial round of the selection process for a job at the Apple flagship store in London (Regent Street, possibly? I forget). The important thing to bear in mind is that I was unemployed and they were hiring. That is all. Don't judge me! Anyhow, part of our indoctrination was a ten minute video which showed, amongst other things, the staff getting ready for its initial opening a few years back. And what did I behold? That's right...the combined mass of fifty(ish) Apple store employees practising a synchronised dance which they would show off on opening day. I have no idea whether it got aired in public, but here's proof that they are all at it. By jove, it's just not British!
"Obviously the woman in green psyching everyone up at the start and throughout had nothing to do with it."
Yes, she was in front of the camera a lot. Hang on, think I've sussed it. Bad Slav'rin's stalking her - that's why he just happened to have his video camera on him. And he now loves Microsoft because his true love works there.
Paris rather than Bill Gates, obviously.
"The only problem with Microsoft is they just have no taste. They absolutely have no taste and what that means is ... I don't mean that in a small way, I mean that in a big way" - Steve Jobs, The Rise of Silicon Valley
Such blatant shilling is quite appalling and reeks of the bad taste Jobs was talking about way back then. How can anyone take the servile Brad Slavin seriously?
Not forced at all no never, all the employees just happen to know exactly all the same moves and all just happen to be in a place where they can co the dance, no element of coercion at all. Even in the US this must be a bit too much corporate bol***ks, or is even this tiny but of faith in the US population miss placed.
If I was in a shop trying to buy something and all the staff were dancing rather than serving customers I’d walk out and never go there again. Oh hold on the is the Microsoft shop where you can’t buy anything....
Now I get it Microsoft are not opening shops its actually a theatre studies project, sponsored by Microsoft and no one has realised yet. A bit like the “Dance Troup” in the Praise You video from Fat Boy Slim, funny Americans
That's amazing, I watched the whole thing and was throughly entertained, I've just placed an order for 30 copies of windows 7 so I can also give them to all my friends and we can dance together knowing we're all using the same OS.
happy happy joy joy
(P.S. moral of this story is don't lick certain types of frog too early in the day, NURSE... jacket please).
There is a corporate training video, that originated in the US, called "FISH!". It originated by a mangement training type making a video of a fresh fishmarket in Seattle (if I remember right, 3 years since I have seen the video myself at work). The staff all chant, sing songs, have greatly crowd-pleasing rituals as to how they cut and package the fish, throw the fish between them like basketball passes, and in general put on a good show. And it IS all contrived, but they DO admit to enjoying the atmosphere at work because of it, and customers love it.
Now - THOSE IN THE UK - you are not immune or superior. There is a UK restaurant chain, Blackhouse Grill, that has restaurants in Chester, London, and other places - that uses FISH! training as well - I was in early one evening and caught the pre-dinner staff meeting, where they discussed exactly these points, and at the end of every point, all the staff looked at the head guy and screamed "YES Chef!!!". And the meal and service _were_ excellent every time I've been to them (Chester and London branches). So it does seem work, especially in environments where customer service is important. (N.B. - I got this training when working in a group that was basically back-office marketing ops, and it has NO £*% bearing on that type of work that I can see...it really demands a customer to focus on).
So at the very least, MS has gotten a few copies of the FISH! vid and probably hired a FISH! training consultant (they do exist)...at the very worst this is Astroturfing. And the guy that submitted this _really_ needs to get out more...
The only conclusion I can come to is that MS can think of absolutely nothing positive to say about Windows 7, so they're trying to build it a (horribly malformed) Happy Fun Vibe. It's like they're saying "Oh, don't worry about the details: we have Dancing Bears!"
The poor staff look traumatized to be involved. There's a great shot at 1:14 with a couple of the guys just looking suicidal to be there. Three cheers for Shoplifter Woman at 2:10-ish.
I'm not a Mac Fanboi. I use XP, and actually don't mind it. I had been hoping that Windows 7 might be good enough to upgrade to, but this hideous piece of crap shilling convinced me that I need to keep it in the same cognitive "abomination" box that Vista is in, until sensible tech sources convince me otherwise.
Unless this is really a very, very clever piece of work by Apple, designed to sink Win 7 by utterly appaling the infosphere...
I've been running Windows 7 for about 2 months...but I just switched to Ubuntu 9.10. I've used Linux for many years as a server, but have only toyed with it on the desktop, never permanently. I think 9.10 may be the one I stick with. Even for the few things I have to run Windows software for, the Windows software runs faster (and in some cases, better) on Linux than under Windows 7.
It gets better after that, honestly! ;)
Wow, it took me a few seconds to regain my will to live (and overcome the stunned feeling) after seeing that PR video.
While its obviously some kind of PR stunt, there's also something deeply twisted and uncomfortable about this whole American style corporate culture. A while ago I found a book about what the author calls Corporate Cults. This scary video fits it perfectly.
http://www.betterworldbooks.com/Corporate-Cults-id-0814404936-c-2568.aspx (don't be put off by its cover, please read the descriptions).
Its something twisted about the culture (which I've been through myself) with a kind of almost Stepford Wives false happy feeling about it all (the original Stepford Wives that was a horror film (and a book) not the comedy remake film).
Microsoft and Google in particular both have this strong Corporate Cult like feeling about them. While this video would most definitely cure me if I hadn't already seen through it all, I still remember watching videos like Googles head office and thinking, I would really like to be in that environment even though I know its very much a Corporate Cult. (Like how you get 20% of your week to work on your "own stuff" which Google knows (behind your back) its a very cheap way to get some great ideas that would have cost them millions to buy out other small companies that would have otherwise been setup by people exactly like the people working at Google. It means its a very cheap way for Google and the staff get very little return on investment when they could have earned millions from selling some of their ideas).
But its also more subtle than that, in a few of the companies I've been in, all the extra free work I ended up doing was all part of this behind my back hidden way to exploit me, yet the environment still often has this sick appeal even though I can totally see through them now. Although I would say this video must be the best antidote ever created!
(For years I felt like that doomed insect in the film A Bugs Life, in the scene with the blue light, when the insect's friend says to the doomed insect, "no! Don't look at the light!" and the doomed insect replies, "I-can't-help-it. It's-so-beautiful").
Thanks TheReg for that video. I think you have now finally found the perfect cure! :)
Bad bad bad. (Escape key icon because careers in Corporate Cults need an escape key!).
I watched it all. With sound. Whilst eating my lunch.
Something that nobody (so far, on comments published) seems to have thought is that MAYBE, just MAYBE, Slavin was taking the piss with the entire "I'm a hardcore mac user but now I'm cancelling my orders and getting 78 copies of Windows 7 because of a staff dance..." - it sure sounds like a pisstake to me!
Oh, and the girl in green? More please. Much, much more. Bouncy! :-D
On so many levels.
...M$ in loony Califorporate Happee-Employee video! Har har har!
...M$ in so-ironic nudge wink take-piss-out-of-corporate-image viral! Har har har!
...M$ marketing so clueless they can't even do ironic! Har har har!
...M$ marketing so clever they've passed through irony and come out the other side! Har har har!
Plus added bonus of busty lass dancing about in T-shirt. Rewarding on many levels.
Well, you're all here talking about it, aren't ya?
Spontaneous, you say? Oh, man. Give me a big, fat _break_, already. You actually cancelled a Mac order and bought a copy of Windows 7 because of _this_?
A bunch of multi-colored-shirted employees at a Microsoft store -- mind you, the company that gave us those wretched Seinfeld ads, and the Windows 7 Tupperware Parties -- suddenly "spontaneously" bust out into the clappy dance? It looks like something taught to people at those weird-assed, cultlike corporate management training retreats -- you know, right after the Falling-Backward-While-Trusting-People-To-Catch-You exercise, and the firewalking exercise.
Maa-aaan, that is some of the creepiest shit I've seen in a while, even from Microsoft's marketing department; I didn't last more than a minute before I had to stop it. Mind you, some of the "geniuses" at the Apple shops can get annoying in their own special way (and I've been using the OS Of The Gods since 1985), but at least for the most part they're actually busy helping customers figure stuff out instead of performing crass, shallow stunts.
Jayzus, that's some nasty shit. Looks like they could stand to be taught another dance -- a long-time favorite dance of mine: the Fish-Slapping Dance.
That wasn't a _real_ diner, but likely one of the cheap simulacra that are springing up all over the States, now that the yuppies have discovered diners (along with dive bars, which are being similarly ruined). Luckily, you got to fly back home to Britain, and I'm stuck _here_.
If it were a _real_ diner, the most effusive marketing would've been in the form of a waitress who may have been a real hottie in her youth, but who's now in her fifties, wearing a uniform just a bit too tight, who hovers over you while asking in a husky, rasping, pack-a-day voice, "Hi, what can I get for ya' hon'?"
Oh, and btw: the British, stuffy? Excuse me, but would this be the same Britain who gave us The Ministry Of Silly Walks, and a certain Mr. Anderson who plays the flute while dancing on one leg?
Yeah, I guess there's a chance of that, but, still... this _is_ Microsoft we're talking about, here. This had all the spontanaiety of the scene in "Fame" where we're all expected to believe that a bunch of performing-arts students would spontaneously burst out into the streets, doing all their moves exactly right while dancing on cars. These sales droids all knew the moves. They all knew when to clap and chant "Microsoft!" -- and, they put that redhead in the green t-shirt with the admirable knockers right in the front row, where people in the mall could see her.
The only thing missing here was Steve Ballmer himself bursting in from the back of the store, armpit-stained, sweat-flecked bald head glistening, jumping and skipping grotesquely through the crowd while bellowing, "I...love...this...COMPANY!"
Pint Of Lager Icon -- only because there's no Pint Of Stout icon, which I'm going to need several of if I expect to kill off all the brain cells which are storing the memory of having seen this video.
Am I the only one waiting for the remix with the chorus “Developers, Developers?” I once saw a balding fat guy who could chant that ...perhaps they could get him. He could rush all madcap through the matix, bouncing pinball style off of various happy dancers, vaulting tables of product.
I saw a bunch of kids dancing at the local Wendy’s years back; perhaps this is them, grown up and desperate--but I seem to remember the Wendy’s kids having better moves.
A viral campaign for the textbooks.
I watched nearly the whole thing. It was just a few employees dancing, and few customers joined in. Okay, this thing was obviously planned (you don't have that many employees in a store that only has a few boxes of different stock) and everything the blogger says it more than suspect. He probably set up the recording in advance knowing it was going to happen, or was sent it by someone else who did.
I'm betting he isn't even a paid shill, he just does it because his personal obsession is with MS and so he is a little loose with the truth where they are concerned.
It's probably just part of a team building exercise, new store, a load of people who don't know each other, gets the morale up. Then the manager decides they should do it in the store rather than just the hired hotel conference room. A bit embarrassing maybe, but not even in the same league as watching your dad at a wedding after a few beers.
So the result? Loads of Reg readers cringed at the video and sent it to their friends or told them about it, MS gets more publicity again. Unpaid, "it'll never happen to me", unknowing shills, the lot of you.
So okay the only way to do it was to switch off the sound and minimise the window.
But I *knew* it was still there wibbling and wobbling away in brightly-coloured SoCal Ballmervision - and that must count for something.
After that I think I need some quality fare - something like the complete Steven Seagal collection, played backwards with a Swedish dub.
(BTW. I think we need a special, extra-large FAIL icon for occasions like this)
Of course, there is another possibility here that people have missed - Mr. Slavin is a shill for Apple trying to pass this all off in an endeavour to further the absolute fail that is the Apple marketing campaign. I certainly wouldn't put it past Jobs' Mob to attempt something like this in an attempt to bash on Microsoft further.
To be perfectly honest, I'm so sick and tired of the Apple TV commercials that it's beyond words. The smugness of the "I'm a Mac" person, and the way they try to pass off the "I'm a PC" person is idiotic.
Just the other day I looked at Windows 7 and my life began to change. The sun pierced the clouds just for me, the boil on my knee fell to the ground, and I got back my hand that I lost in the war. Now that Bill Gates is gone MS stopped making products for people and now make for Angels.
Americans are like puppies, particularly these children, who demonstrate quite clearly that the employment policies and personalities of CEOs and other senior personnel are shown in the quality and behaviour of their staff.
Paris, because she is, like, soooooo american.
Missing you already.
we have massive unemployment, massive debt, get electricity from other countries and cant fend for ourselves but its videos like these that make me proud to be British, we stay professional at all times and don't reverts into a bunch of primary school wannabe actors when we're in work
all of the people in this video should be sacked
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